Tag: USA

This American Gulag

My emotions and moods are like the waves and tides of the ocean.

Where is the moon that controls my motion?

April 16th, 2021 (Present day)

It has been a little over a year since my last post so I thought I would go over my notes and find some tidbits that I would like to pass on. This is a collection of my digital notes from the past year. In posting these, I realize I may never become famous, or make any money, but I may help scientists of “madness”, bi-polar disorder, schizophrenia, or other mental disorders gain a better understanding of how people like me think. Overall, the year was quite stable. In January and February of 2021 I went through a manic episode that was quite “fun” and challenging, but through new medications and therapy I didn’t “crash” like I did in March of 2020. And so it begins.

April 27th, 2020

Perhaps creating original thought brings us further from the present moment which causes destruction. Breath and find present moment again. Meditate, look for present moment, don’t react. Fall asleep. Awake anew.

May 10th, 2020

What I have been missing is momentum. Or I build it, but cannot control it, thus I lose my momentum. If I can build it and control it, then that is when things happen.

May 16th, 2020

Oh could it be,

That since I cannot see,

A future for myself.

That my time is short,

I don’t have much longer to stay,

What will the people say?

Will they say I was happay?

Who knows.

Maybe my future grows.

May 30th, 2020

Many a man would give everything they had to have what I have and yet how can I still be unhappy? Depression.

Find what is worth doing and put effort into it. 

Original thinking is just thoughts that you haven’t heard before. Subjective to each person.

September 3rd, 2020

It all boils down to I have to find some form of medication that actually works so that I can continue my life with Angela. She is too special and too sweet a gift to give up without a great fight. That’s my final decision.

September 8th, 2020

The thought of you, of us,

Together, as one, then separated,

Makes me feel as if I would lose a part of who I am.

How can there be any greater pain?

My heart will ache, 

My love hurts, myself.

Can’t find a journal to write in so I will try to write my feelings here.

I am so desperately love sick it is crazy. In whatever multiple ways that means. I am head over heels in love with Angela and yet I know that I am about to lose her. I have been so weak, so full of self-pity, so lacking that I cannot be upset with her. In a way I have tried to sabotage our relationship so we would eventually break up. That was mostly unconscious though. 

If I cannot be happy with her I don’t think I can be happy with anyone. Thus a bachelor’s life may be my eternal future. I have gotten to such a point that I feel Angela and I are one, and unified, but it is not necessarily in a healthy way at the moment. She allows me to be too free and is not assertive in what she desires from me. I know that I have been less delusional the past six months, but my depression has reached such extremes that I know I bring us both down. 

I told her last night that my greatest fear was having to break up to become sober to come out of my depression. The problem is that I love her so deeply and desperately.  She literally has so many men after her it is like a pack of hungry sharks. As soon as I am out of the picture I fear they are going to tear her up. I told Angela all of this.

I told her how I was sorry if I was acting more possessive recently. Like I wanted her all to myself. It is not a good trait to have or see in oneself. 

All in all I fear I am about to go through the hardest breakup of my life, mostly because she will still be there in and around my life, living in Siloam. I will look like the idiot and loser who couldn’t hold her down, not the other way around. She bent over backwards and gave me so much of herself and supported me through the tough times. I was not able to reciprocate as fully. My lack of getting a worthy job has been one of the greatest wedges between us. It is one of the greatest causes of my depression as well. We talked a lot about this last night and she was giving me advice on what course of action she thought I needed to take. 

Just picturing her with someone else or an image of her with someone else makes me sick. She is so pure to me, even if she says she is not. I will always wonder what this means. Does she lie to me? That is the question I may never know. 

All I know is that if we do fully breakup I am going to have to go into an austere, addiction free, psychiatric way of life and she is gonna be partying and going through sharks. Not something to look forward to at all. 

Makes me not want to live at all sometimes. I hope that I can overcome it.

One way or another I must get back to the traveling life. A backpack, a random place, a job, a life, an adventure. Maybe one day we will meet again, but I truly don’t know. She is so loyal that if she finds a good man I will probably never get another chance. Perhaps I deserve to have my heart broken. As a new form of pain that cuts deep.

Greatest thing that happened with Angela is that she helped me to break free of my delusions but couldn’t help me come out of depression. Lifestyles must be similar.

Attachment is the source of all suffering.

Later… Good people are so far and few between. If you find a good person to be with, don’t give up.

Four most important things: get meds, get a job, fix house, save relationship with Angela.

September 11th, 2020

There a million fish in the sea, 

but only one for me. 

Let it be! 

Let it be! 

Why would I trade a dime for a penny?  

Can’t buy love,

Can’t ya see? 

I think the beauty of love is when two people may be desirable to others, but they commit to giving themselves only to the other person. It’s a uniqueness that one gets. Worth more than gold.

September 12th, 2020

The only direction you can coast is down hill.

Every time I do something with Angela some part of me feels like it could be the last time. So I appreciate it and her more. We have had some good talks recently. Communicating well. We talk a lot about how there is an abundance of single willing men who are around town and not females and so their is an imbalance of men who hit on her to woman who hit on me. To find more of a balance might be beneficial for our relationship. 

Life is a constant battle for me between being happy or having fun. The more “fun I have” it seems the less “naturally” happy that I am overtime. Does anyone else experience this? 

Note to self: Whatever you do in life, don’t lose your confidence. If you are losing your confidence do something to bring it back. Start something new. If you failed at one thing, get back up on your horse and try something new. Not about how many times I fall but how many times I keep getting back up. Keep on pushin.

For a relationship to succeed there must be a balance of “success” between the individuals. If one continues to succeed and the other falls behind it will oftentimes terminate a relationship. As long as support and encouragement comes and success is found in new paths the relationship can succeed indefinitely. 

Limit meat, alcohol, coffee, weed. Workout. Do something that challenges you in life. It is good to feel challenged and uncomfortable.

The only way to do what I want it seems is to work with these therapists and psych doctors to figure out some form of medication which allows me to be consistent, in what I want and my overall mental health and happiness. I hate being dependent on anything, but something has to give. I find myself basing much of my “happiness” with being with Angela and this to me can’t be good over the long term. 

Do something you know. I know sports and history. I just don’t know how to coach or teach it yet. But I can learn. If I have the passion for it, it will come naturally. I have always been in awe of the respect my grandpa’s students have for him from when they were in school. The impact he made on so many people’s lives is huge. I want to to experience something like that. I have to just be confident that if I follow the right path, that experience will come and be fulfilling to the point that I am looking for. I have to make a decision and stick to it. With or without Angela. I am doing this mostly for her and our relationship, but I also see its equally important if something ends up happening to us. 

Life is hard. Suck it up.

September 25th, 2020

Life is made up of “simple-minded” and “high-minded” people. Neither is necessarily better or worse than the other. A high-minded person can not be happy unless they are using their skills to think high-mindedly. 

Life is also full of times that one is single and times that one is in a relationship. Neither are necessarily better or worse. If we don’t go through periods of being single, we won’t appreciate the times of being in a relationship and visa versa.


My path is the path of Lincoln. I’ve finally found someone who shared my difficulties, in some way, who I can relate to, and can see my future being in his steps. I’m lucky to have found the book Lincoln’s Melancholy and after just a few chapters it gave me great joy and pleasure to know that I have not been alone in a pursuit perhaps of which I did not know, just as he did not always know his pursuit which was to end slavery for good. I too want to end slavery, but slavery in a deeper way. The slavery of his time was physical. The slavery of our time is spiritual, mental, and cultural. We have all become slaves in some way and we cannot see our chains nor our wardens. We must see both to come out of our contemporary slavery. I aim to do this.

Just as Lincoln experimented with ways to live through his melancholic sadness, I too shall experiment with ways to live through mine. To move forward. To go for a goal of which I cannot see. Could there be a greater death than Lincoln’s? Or life? 

I have begun a new chapter in life. I can see there may be a way out. A positive way for myself and all involved. Will be tough but I may have found a weapon for my fight. Thank you to all the people and things who gave me a shot. The doctors, the therapists, the psychiatrists, the pharmaceutical companies, and the pharmacists. American ingenuity at it’s best. We shall see.

America shall win again.

Just because I have not followed the exact path of Lincoln up until this point does not mean my life cannot go in a similar direction from when he was my age. I wish to teach and participate in politics in some way one day.

Flip the switch,

That’s the Manic.

Like two people,

Jeckle and the Hanic.

How did we perfect the switch,

Our scientists! 

You fools!

You created the perfect flip!

October 31st, 2020

Never forget your dreams. You are a spiritual warrior of the highest rank. You have a built in morality that will not change as you age. Wherever you go, you notice what is wrong immediately. This makes it very hard for you to live and succeed because the world is a fucked up place. Not many of your kind have survived as long as you. Keep on surviving. Keep on listening to your dreams which know more about you than other people or yourself.

Stay alive you warrior you.

(Also the day I asked Angela to marry me 😉 )

November 3rd, 2020

I feel like Angela doesn’t really love me anymore. She is just biding her time until I fuck up again.

Wait until you get your teeth worked on to see if you feel different. If you have gingivitis or other teeth related issues it can be bringing you down. Don’t rush into any decision. The decisions that have already been made have already been made.

“Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless.” –  Ecclesiastes 5:10

“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” – Proverbs 25:28

My strength lies in my ability to have self control. An unconventional life. Not a conventional one. I have tried for too long to live conventionally.

It doesn’t matter if you have fallen, it only matters if you can get back up before you are broken or dead. Get back up on the virtuous horse. Take the last few years as a “break” and dedicate yourself to understanding what women can do, even the so called best of them.

I feel emasculated.


Study Hercules. Don’t follow his path.

This is your make it or break it time.

I have to let her know I’m leaving her to make her life and mine better. I think it’s the only way. I love her to death but that also means letting go when the time is right. Even if it kills me. She survives. And will thrive. 

Life is more than one person or group. If one chooses to think that way tests are always put up. The greatest challengers can make it through any situation even if it is so severe it is life or death.

It is always best to leave on good terms and before it gets bad. I want to do that with her.

I am not the type of man who has gained conventional success in my life and I may not gain it for many years or ever in this life. If she is looking for that I am not the right fit. I’m an unconventional man and must recognize it for what it is. 

I was not built or raised for this world I feel. I yearn for something different even if it something I cannot see. I must clear my head and eyes to get glimpses and at least look.

Maybe we need to take some time apart and see what happens.

I just want who I propose to yearn for it, to desire it, to be thrilled and to be excited and I don’t get that from her. Since I don’t get that from her I notice the same feeling in myself. I can see how it my own fault, but I wanted to try everything. To try and make it work.

What is scary is being alone again but I know I have won that battle many times before.

I want the decision to split up be in a situation where we are both in sane minds.

She knows the types of girls I’ve been with and she knows I will be with plenty more. I have to let her be with other dudes. Hardest thing when you let your lover go.

I’m going to start writing again. Looking through my posts. I feel successful when I do that. It builds my confidence.

I have to let her know I don’t want to be with her if I have another episode. I want to get out of our relationship before then. I’m trying to be the man about it. Maybe the only way to not have an episode is to be separate.

Start a new anon blog.

The saddest part about staying in a relationship with someone based on temporary happiness and addiction is that I constantly feel I am letting down God and the world because I cannot live life at my best. My only hope may be to get her pregnant to where we both have to quit drinking and everything else. Also may not work out and I get stuck on the hook. Who knows really. All I know is I felt compelled to break it off with her yesterday and I couldn’t do it. Like she wouldn’t let me. It was sort of a “don’t give up now” type attitude. I hope something gets better or changes. Just keeps getting worse for me even if she says things are getting better for her. I’m in hell and we are just getting engaged. Must think about everything clearly. Wish I had a Vipassana.

She says that she loves me and I do think she will stay by my side. I just don’t know if that is good enough for me. I dream bigger and I hate not being able to live my life fully on my own terms.

Maybe I need to go to AA and speak to other people who deal with the same thing.

It is not just consistent alcohol and smoke that fucks up a man, but constant or consistent sex. I’m literally the opposite of bramychara and I have failed at everything I have tried since then. I know the Indians say you shouldn’t live your life spiritual or whatever forever, but I just don’t know how much more I can take without a change. I utterly lack in productivity.

I wish I could find my own definition of success.

November 4th, 2020

If I’m gonna stay with Angela I hope that the Lord at least gives me a child just to bring me back to some sense of clarity even if it is different.

I just don’t think I can be fun with Angela if I am sober unless we both are.

I dedicated my life to trying and figuring out how to build a society that actually works. It is what anyone might do if they were in my spot. I saw that I had a shot and have used everything that has ever been given to me in this pursuit. I worry I have let down myself and the world. That’s the root of my depression.

November 11th, 2020

Find what you love to do and do it the rest of your life.

November 24th, 2020

Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires. Matthew 5:10

December 27th, 2020

Reading Henry Millers the Air-conditioned Nightmare. He really writes how I think.

“The most terrible thing about America is that there is no escape from the treadmill which we have created.”

True then and truer now. The frontier is gone.

January 5th, 2021

Sometimes I feel I have no desires at all. No desire to become anything special. My only desire is to read and study whatever comes and interests me. 

January 7th, 2021

If you really want to change things.

The world was built that one person could irrevocably change the world with enough effort, even from behind the scenes. How could it be any other way? One needs first, direction. Second, energy, which comes from self-control leading to purity of spirit and heart. And third, the means which would be technology, writing and now computers/internet. But also some form of financial stability, which can come from blessings and/or hard work and lastly mental and spiritual stability which can come in the form of advisors, therapists, psychiatrists, support groups and meds when those may fail.

Direction comes from divine will. One can have their own will, but the change that is created will usually be lessened and many times in the wrong direction or unnecessary. Many times men and women of the past have been unaware of what they were meant for until the time was right and the whisper was given from above. This direction would lead them from that point on. 

What is your direction?

Where do you get your energy?

How pure is your spirit and heart?

Do you know how to write?

Do you have stability?

What they do not understand is that true movers move the greatest when they are challenged. Stay strong. This fight is far from over.

Remember even one person can change the tide of battle. Be ready. Be prepared. We can do this.

January 9th, 2021

Each is Great in his own place: The Transition from a Sanyasin to a Householder

I was reading a book called Karma Yoga: The Yoga of Action by Swami Vivekananda recently and something stuck out to me that I’d like to share.

He talks about how householders, even if it may seem otherwise, are equal to in every way spiritually as a sanyasin, which can be defined as a renunciate of worldly things.

Each is Great in his own place.

“The life of the married man is quite as great as that of the celibate who has devoted himself to religious work.”

“If the householder dies in battle fighting for his country or religion, he comes to the same goal as the Yogi by meditation.”

“If a man retires from the world to worship God, he must not think that those who live in the world and work for the good of the world are not worshipping God; neither must those who live in the world for wife and children think that those who give up the world are low vagabonds. Each is great in his own place.”

“If you want to be a householder, make your life a sacrifice for the welfare of others; and if you choose the life of renunciation, do not even look at beauty, and money, and power. Each is great in his own place, but the duty of the one is not the duty of the other.”

Hope this helps someone out there….

January 10th, 2021

“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” – Albert Camus

The Return to Life

Let it be more than a return to the life before Corona, but a return to life that is truly rich. Let us find something deeper than that which existed before the virus. That is the true meaning of “return to life.” 

We have a grand inheritance waiting for us. All beings. 

For people knew not what they were doing to others. 

We are so super close.

January 11th, 2021

All rites and rituals will be learned and performed. Those who do not believe will be left behind.

For the Nepalis know. The Israelis know. 

All it takes is a little training. Who has trained with both?

The chetris and Brahmins will reunite and bring us home.

Our ancestors knew the importance of rites and rituals. We shall learn again.

Let their be peace in our country and even greater unity.

For they have unity in Israel. They have unity in China. They have unity in many countries and yet why is it that the United States does not deserve unification?

What have we done so wrong? Our freedom allows bad actors to “attempt” to take power and control. Our freedom also allows the good actors to stop this from occurring. It could not be any other way.

Good could not exist without evil. 

Victory shall come again soon. Battles will be won, and eventually the war will come to an end. We shall unify.

A unified America means a unified world with freedom as its basis.

Keep your heads up patriots. We have this in the bag.

What separates the wheat from the chaff is that some can overcome even the highest mental and spiritual difficulties. We have learned to go further, to trust advisors, to trust that which God has created. 

Many have fallen. Many were left decrepit. Many died. That is why we are in the sticky situation we are in.

Many never knew. Many found out, but could not go forth, thus they documented. They left testimonials for others in the future to start from. We developed writing and reading to pass along the lessons to new generations of young men and women to not fall into the same pitfalls of our past.

I cry.

Tears of joy, of sadness, of both combined. 

It feels so strange to be so close, yet so far away… It is so hard to not have truly learned teachers from which to rely upon. This will change. True teachers will be created and will spread upon the land. 

The darkness will always exist, but it will never again fully encompass the light. Balance will prevail. 

The duality between this world and the other will create something new. 

Thank you for reading this. Let us all rejoice for the good news. Shipments will continue to come for as long as stability is here. 

January 19th, 2021

All karma is “judged” by intent.

For example, a surgeon uses a knife to cut out a cancer on a patient and sometimes the surgeon may accidentally make a mistake and kill that man. This is compared to a thief who on the road is trying to steal money and he uses his knife to purposefully kill a man. Although the karma of both recipients of death was the same, the karma generated by the surgeon and the thief are very different. One is innocent for he did not have negative intent and the other will suffer for having the intent to hurt a living being.

Repent means to change your intent. Many think that only they can judge their own intent, but intent is judged by the laws of karma as well.


Life is about learning to take control, but also letting go. If we take control our whole lives, we will be miserable. If we let go our whole lives, we will be miserable. The Nazis could not learn to “let go” thus they were creating a miserable world. That is why they lost.

The United States absorbed the elements of the Nazi party who wanted to take “full control” and thus the United States went from a balanced nation to one who wanted full control of the world. That is where we went wrong. We must learn to “let go” once again and let the flowers bloom where they may.

January 20th, 2021

Like a sparring partner, I play as opposition to make my opponents better. I don’t consider anyone to be my enemy even if they are my opponent. Darkness itself is my enemy. No individual or group is 100% Darkness itself, that I’m aware of.

January 21st, 2021

Although anonymity is one of the greatest gifts in life, it’s opposite is also equally great: recognition and credit for one’s achievements. Recognition always comes at some point, and yet rarely does it come in one’s “living life.” I seek anonymity, but also recognition, as it is something I have never experienced.



“The main condition for the achievement of love is the overcoming of one’s narcissism.”

I want to teach the world how to love, and how we find those we are meant to find. 

“The faculty to think objectively is reason; the emotional attitude behind reason is that of humility.”

I believe that although my ego is tremendously large, I must have it to “overcome” the other entities or “alternate perspectives” and reassert myself. Only by incorporating all perspectives can we reach “universal” objectivity. A machine cannot achieve objectivity because it cannot be led to the new distinct information necessary to re-achieve objective status. Machines are usually “fed” all information and usually lead to a subjective final outcome. 

I believe in creating a dynamic world that is fair and allows all people to rise, by teaching them all the rules of the game, metaphysically and physically. I believe in allowing flowers to bloom on their own without putting in too much effort and never behind the back of the plant. 

No one can see the final picture, nor can anyone truly control the machine that calculates our world. We must learn to paint again.

Physical health is not nearly as hard to “control” as mental and spiritual health. I have enough “battles” going on with the latter two forms of health that I do not worry about the “physical” battles in my presence. One day, others will understand this.

The profession of all human beings, at one time or another, in the future will be “metaphysical cleaners.” We have quite the job to do.

January 22nd, 2021

I can see clearly the course of “recent” history and why we are in the position we are in globally. What has happened is that all beings, including “royals”, for lack of a better word, reincarnate in the area that they die. The last 100 years or so, the forces of darkness have attempted to “move” royals, specifically, around the globe. In Russia, specifically they moved the Russian royal family to other countries, including the U.S. and settled them in places that were poor. Poor in spirit, poor in knowledge, poor in wealth, hoping that they would not wake up and realize what had happened. 

That is why there is a lack of reincarnated royals within the Russian motherland. I would say the same thing happened in Britain and their “royals” were also shipped to the U.S. and Australia and other provinces. That is the reason specifically why the British empire collapsed quickly afterwards. 

My “connection” to Russia, my “feeling” for Russia is that I am from their land. This is why Russia is so “dominant” in global affairs and land mass. This is also why I have wanted to visit for so long. My hardware is American, my soul is Russian, but my spirit is Nepali-Arya. 

World War 2 was about shipping their new and reincarnated “royals” throughout Europe and Asia. Since we lost these reincarnated souls, the US has been on the collapse ever since.

All of history is merely “the opponent” shifting these royals across the globe, building up countries, but then destroying them. This is how they control the battlefield.

Israel has attempted to take “royals” from across the globe and put them in its proximity so when they die they will be reborn into their nation. They literally suck the “life” out of the world, even if they may make the argument that they are trying to protect the “royal” lineages. 

“The opponent” believed that these descendants would never figure out their strategy and what has happened. It was a “good” plan, but completely evil in its origins. 

The strategy has been identified. It shall now be nullified, vilified, and destroyed.

All your base are belong to us. 

January 23rd, 2021

“Sports, oh how fun they are,

But sad in that “they” shift our kings,

Across the field, 

Still held in chains,

If they only knew.”

“No matter how many arrows are shot into the sky, 

Angels still fly.”

“When our royals return to their homes,

The viruses shall end,

Stability will be once again,




Write about how we “clone” ourselves naturally by setting examples that other people want to find in “new” acquaintances. The example sets the direction of evolution. What we desire, if we deserve it, comes, metaphysically.

They have put our kings into reality TV and “sport” and make fun of them in their ignorance. Entertainment is our chief global export. Who do we export this to is the question!?

Write about how we bond. And how we bond will lead to an egoless state of existence. We developed egos to eventually lead to the egoless state by bonding individually and collectively.

Write about racism and how we extinguish it. By allowing it to exist we become immune to being offended and this leads to the natural abolishment of racism.

“In divergent ways,

We settled these lands.

And in divergent ways,

We shall rule these lands.

Let us merely hold the door,

Open for many people,

To live freely.”

January 25th, 2021

“Indulgence”-Credit System

There is an “indulgence”-credit system built within the metaphysical world. Even if we run dry, the system itself knows if we will have the ability to pay them back or not. That is why some “do not make it” when they use their credit, while with others their “credit” is good.

The system knows what we are capable of. It offers and we either accept or deny.

If we build up our “indulgence credit” to such a high extent and don’t use it, we are then capable of “reaching beyond.” This is what the ancients knew. All life is just to get us to use our indulgences so we don’t “go beyond” the veil and “escape” the system.

There are some bodhisattvas who purposefully use their built-in indulgences to help the world rather than themselves.

The Buddha would say this is not the right way. But is there a “right way?”

January 25th, 2021

Our future may be some form of “dual-state.”

Can the two exist within the same system? Usually we have two sides who try to exert both sides to live under their singular rule. Either the socialists attempt to make everyone a socialist, or the freedom-lovers try to make everyone live under a “free” state and to force people to build themselves up or “pull themselves up by their bootstraps.”

What if we could have both? What if we had a system that would take care of people that needed help, but also was completely free to not take part in that system? To us the United States is heading in this direction. We do not need to part ways to have this system come to fruition.

We do not need to have a civil war, nor do we need to build two separate countries, one of which was socialist and one of which was free. We already have examples of this in recent history. One being Germany breaking into West and East and another being Korea, breaking into North and South. Germany eventually re-united and Korea is bound to eventually re-unite one day as well.

We encourage a “Liberty-Socialist” party to come into fruition as that seems to be the balance that we are looking for. Some who are more “freedom-loving” may come into tough times and need support, thus they may become more “socialist” and some who are more socialist, might be doing well and not need the support and become more “freedom-loving.” It can be very fluid.

A “Liberty-Socialist” party would be the very center of politics. It would be “objectively” the answer to what we are looking for. An umbrella that all people could find what they are looking for. There is nothing wrong with having far-left or far-right parties, but we must have a new “center” that incorporates the “best” of all parties.

Fascism is the very opposite of freedom in many ways. We are advocating a system that all people could take part in, regardless of their ideology. We are already there, but it has not been put in a conceptual framework from which to achieve. Some groups, especially those who wish the downfall of the US, attempt to divide us and to start a civil war by saying that one can either be “freedom-loving” or socialist, but not both. Well what if we can be both? We advocate for this path.

Metaphysics is not theology. It is the underlying rules and principles of the “game of life.” Any system works if it is built upon metaphysics. To me the best of all worlds is probably some form of socialism-freedom-metaphysics that eventually leads to a fully “Metaphysical-Anarchist” state.

This is what my intention is to provide. A stepping stone to a “Metaphysical-Anarchist” state which is more or less what the primordial-traditional state was.

The Freedom to choose your own path.

January 26th, 2021

I have applied to be an Army Chaplain. I have made it to the second round of questioning and will meet up with the Staff Sergeant next week.

I need to reiterate that although I am not individually certified in any one religion, I have studied all religions, spiritualities, and orthodoxies and feel very qualified as a teacher. My speciality would be metaphysical and spiritual warfare survival techniques. 

Our troops need to fully realize that they get is what they deserve. The good and the bad. If one can learn to change their present moment actions and intent, they can change what they deserve in the future. This is the meaning of wearing “The Armor of God.”

My only goal will be to teach our troops these important lessons. There should be no reason that our troops go into situations unprepared spiritually or mentally. All the physical training in the world cannot change one’s fate from occurring. I am merely a servant. 

I must let the Sergeant know that I have always lived my life as a true ambassador of the United States. Even if sometimes I was against it’s policies, I have always wished the best for our commander-in-chief. I have stuck up for all the presidents in some way. I respect the chain of command and who is in charge. I think I could in some way do this going forward within the system. 

January 27th, 2021

Poor soul, he will inevitably come unstuck.

Perhaps all “traits” are “acquired” when necessary to fight in the war. Our society sees generally those with “bipolar”, “schizophrenic”, as “negative” traits, with “polymaths” generally seen as a “positive.”Perhaps they are all “positive” in their potential for change, but negative in how difficult they can make life. Just added challenges to overcome.

Everything shifts and everyone does what the one tends to do as well. If one is a trader, everyone becomes a trader. It is part of the fabric. It is not the one, but the many. When they try to take down the markets, our “traders” keep it afloat. 


They tried to ‘off’ me in at least four different countries. They tried to “off me” physically, and more importantly spiritually, in Nepal. When neither worked, they tried to off me in India, Israel, and Florida, multiple times in the latter. I’m sure they would have tried again if I would have gone to China, but somehow they went ahead with it in Florida, again.

I know what it feels like to survive an attempt. Not good. But they know I can survive is all that matters.

I am a Druidic Gladiator. 

Three missiles sent into the wind, who combine into one, to evade, to identify threats, to dismantle threats, and win hearts along the way.

January 29th, 2021

Something I am working on:

“Madness” or “insanity” is merely the survival of death.

God watches over us closely. He doesn’t rest until He knows that everything is going to be alright. We are merely his stewards.

“Madness” is the survival of death. When we go insane, it is merely to show that we have survived death. It is not the man who can escape death, but the man that can survive insanity that prevails. We cannot see it but in hindsight. 

The quicker we come out of insanity, the quicker we come to our feet, the less that death can affect us.

We can know our friends by who we are most stable around. Key.

How many times have I gone crazy?

After Rollins. Florida. One, long one. Took a long time to bounce back.

Maybe in NYC from bike wreck. Did I go crazy after?

India. For sure was a little crazy before and after I was poisoned.

Traveling allowed me to live crazily for a long time so there are potentially an unlimited amount of times it might have happened in Asia. 

Thailand. Elephants, rope courses, and Muay Thai.

Origin: Did I die playing football and survive? Did the meds drive me a little crazy?

Israel. For sure went crazy and it was hard to survive that.

Florida. They for sure got me somewhere in Florida.

Arkansas. What happened and who did it in AR? My hardest struggle in the shortest time frame. Took me at least 9 months to make the recovery.

Sri Lanka. How many times did the “water” pull me in? Total insanity during this time.

How do I survive? Is it my faith and connection to God. It must be. This is the idea of Divine Crusadership. If one is a crusader, one is a crusader. Officially or unofficially. 

I am a Crusader.

I am a Gladiator.

I am a Druid.

I am His servant.

The question is not where one has came from, but where one is heading.


I think that people, whatever they were born with or acquired as life went on, made it or they didn’t. Medicine has only had this predisposition to label everything semi-recently. Especially “mentally”.

Insanity is not “bad”. It is just the opposite of sane. If we didn’t have insanity, we wouldn’t know what it felt like to be “sane.”

Should be treated as such.

January 31st, 2021

Living sacrifice – It is almost like when certain people are killed in one universe a new universe opens where that person is still alive. It is the multiverse in action. The people in the “new” universe do not see the death of that person because in that timeline or universe they didn’t die. We keep expanding in this way perhaps forever. What happens to the remnant universes? Are they eventually destroyed? Or do they stay open as well?


An instantaneous reaction is not a reaction but an action.

I would retrain the army to go to a randomized 21-7 day regimen, where 21 days are “full control” and 7 days are “letting go”. 

4 divisions. That way only 25% of the force is out at any given time. But you have 100% commitment from 75% of the force at all times.

“Apply for something and you will become it.”

Write on how to escape our modern day slavery. Zero taxes.

For the next 19 days focus on these two subjects. Rebuilding the military or a new military fighting force and how to overcome the slave state on a global scale. There must be a return to the world of hierarchy. True natural metaphysical hierarchy. Where all can rise and all can fall. Not controlled by financial power but metaphysical and spiritual authority. 

How did traditional societies live with or without money?

What societies are still similar to traditional societies? Nepal. Study Nepal. History, how they lived up until recently. 

February 1st, 2021

What is one to do if one figures out one cannot die and that one is a king in the traditional fashion? One cannot go around announcing, “I am a King, obey me, listen to me…” in this world as they will be called insane. What is one to do? Just exist in the world and try to be happy or try to take control and build a new empire within the world? What is one to do who yearns for that type of power? The power to truly help society and people? To take their rightful place?

Noblemen must be recognized as such. They can be born or built. They must stay near where they are from, until it is at a level that it is okay to leave. “There is a reason we are born in a certain area.”

There must return to the world of hierarchy. True natural metaphysical hierarchy. Where all can rise and all can fall. Not controlled by financial power but metaphysical and spiritual authority. 

What major battles in world history lost the war? The war between traditional and modern day empires? When was the “switch” point? Was it pre-history? Primordial history?

It is not that I cannot work, I can work 24/7 if it is for something that I believe in. I cannot work a useless, meaningless, “slave job” as that is pretty much all there is in today’s society. Every job that pays taxes is a slave job for the state.

How can we return to normalcy when the concept is so foreign to the typical “enslaved” person. They have moved the goal post so far that mere survival is basically all that matters to the common citizen. People can not fathom true “collective” living or what it means to be in a “normal society.” It is truly sad.

Perhaps all we can do in this time is to live “virtuously” as much as possible and finding a routine to allow it to happen. For me I will try a consecutive 21 day on, 7 day off “virtue” routine. I am about to start my 2nd in a row after going 21 days last month.

The question is how does one impart one’s own unique sense of urgency on to others when the entire concept of what our battle is has been “forgotten”? How does one have a sense of urgency when they are 75% in control and 25% letting go? Theoretically it is possible.

I can obviously see that at some point a true king perhaps chose to live the life of a recluse and this “gave an opening” to some external force to build an empire in the opposite way, which then spread out. Did this happen with the Buddha, with Confucius? With many Kings? At what point did we truly go wrong? Were we destined to go wrong so we would be destined to fix our situation?

We are most enslaved because they have total control of the financial world. Even if the financial world is under the dominance of the metaphysical and spiritual world, it makes it that much harder if one is financially incapable of the deeds that they wish to achieve. One must find benefactors and patrons perhaps. Where can one find these if the concept of what might draw these men near is gone in the first place? 

The question is always to “become known” or not “to become known”. That’s really the only question. 

When we are in such a state of “disrepair”, so far backwards, the inner peace and bliss that comes from being unknown must be sacrificed if given the opportunity to become known, if that gives one the financially opportunity to spread one’s message, knowledge, and “empire” a further distance.


They control the financial system and they control who becomes known and who does not become known.

To overcome this I will essentially force their hand. I will force them or the system to make us known, which will lead to, becoming financially stable, which will lead us to being able to make our dreams come true, which will lead to empire expansion, which will lead to a fair and dynamic world once again. Just takes self-control leading to virtuous living, continuously and consistently until they “give up.” If they can’t kill us, they will try to kill our characters. This will in actuality kill their character as I know at least I have nothing to fear or be ashamed of. That is my plan. I do not know the details, only the broad strokes.

February 4th, 2021

From Above,

Directed to Above.

Give up steady drip of entertainment. Give up watching movies and shows all the time. This creates sedation.

Take a step back and be one with yourself.

Do you duty and do it to the best of your ability. 

The best of my ability would be during my 21 days of taking control I give up watching movies and tv shows for entertainment. 

Oh how I yearn,

Oh how I churn,

To make the world turn,

To stop the world’s burn.

What am I to do?

When I can’t go through,

The tight hole that few,

Seem to be able to do.

Is it my environment?

Or is it me?

The energy,

Drains me completely.

I will stand tall,

With my flag upon the mall,

Waiting for a sign,

Of victory for all.


The Only Thing that matters about Anomalies and Nobodies

The only thing that really matters, is that people in this day and age “attempt” to be “anomalous” and thus the concept of the anomaly or nobody just grows. Anomalous means different. Different in a deeper way. People can feel that. People believe that they can be it, that they can disrupt the powers that be… they have that intent and that is all that matters. Memes win. People win. Anomalies win

What does it mean to be anomalous?

If one can learn to change the world without contact. That is anomalous.

If one can learn tradition and aim for it. That is anomalous.

If one can disrupt the system by his or her existence. That is anomalous.

The very existence of the concept of the anomaly during this time is anomalous. 

We build the concept of the anomaly purely so that some may follow in it’s footsteps. 

I think that it is not too hard to have the way to manifest your life in a positive direction. What is hard is to have a concrete “dream” or concept that is in an actual positive way for all of humanity. The knowledge of what to dream for is what is difficult to achieve. If one can learn the correct direction AND how to purify and manifest one’s life, that is anomalous. It is hard to achieve. The combination of both. That is what we represent.


Ruminating on how literally every action people take is for economic reasons. Every building is for economic activity. Such a bare existence. It’s like our recent “founders” built a system to enslave everyone including themselves. And for people who can’t stand the system no job can be found. To act without contact.

February 5th, 2021

I’m gonna write a book called American Gulag. It is basically my sorrow living in the gulag state. When you travel and get outside it, possibilities open up. When you’re in it, and can then see and feel it, it’s “naturally” depressing. We as a nation have enslaved the entire population. All work and pay taxes for their prison masters to keep them at work and in line. At what other time in history has a culture so thoroughly and transparently enslaved itself?

February 7th, 2021

I dreamt a wild dream. Crosses and arrows. Arrows hit their marks. It’s like a wish in a dream. I dream of receiving recognition. If I could have anything right now it would be that.

February 10th, 2021

Maybe I do need to try and develop my app ideas. If I am born merchant, try and be a merchant.

February 11, 2021

How do you write a book? You write a book by purposefully not publishing anything on the topic for weeks or months or even years and “perfecting” as much as possible one’s research, argument, perspective, outline, etc. until it is “as close to perfect as possible” and then releasing it all at once. Once one gets it to the closest point of perfection, one then takes it to advisors, editors, copyright, and it becomes a book. It doesn’t have to be a certain length. When it’s done it will be done. Just aim for “perfection” in whatever that means for you. 

When every boy realizes one day that they could be a hidden “king” we will live in a different world. When every girl realizes one day that they could be a princess or a “queen” we will live in a different world.

This book is not supposed to be the “be all, end all” of books. It is supposed to be merely a framework for a problem. For there are no problems that cannot be overcome if the problems themselves can be properly seen and vetted.

I expect anyone reading this book within the hellish worlds to look at it similarly as someone who was reading a book on a “far off world” and to be an impossibility to implement. I also expect many to mistake this book as a book of fiction and I find that funny. 

Write a book on heaven and hell. Being in heaven is a natural world where we don’t have the onslaught or deluge of things to be addicted to. They exist and will always exist, but they do not provide the “sole reason” for existence as they do now. (List all possible things to be addicted to in this world.)

Heaven is a world that is free of these things and hell is a world where that is all there is.

It may be true that any country that is “free”, that is without the benefit of enlightened rulers, will eventually lead to the “hellashish” world. We must have therefore individual, localized “enlightened rulers” who can identify both worlds and put us onto the path of the heavenly world. The world I see is almost “Amish”, but with less “forced-labor.” At some point though, it must be said, that an “enlightened” society is a working society but it is from a totally natural standpoint. Work is just a way to capture natural energy that comes from living healthily. It should not be considered to be work that is forced, even in a non-natural hellashish setting. There are two types of work.

Connect it to the book The Toxic State.

Here is what it’s about:

Write a post on how our government and society is literally built to corrupt the people as much as humanly possible. It is literally a spiritual warfare state where everything is in order to toxify the spirits of the people but they are not aware of it. Some can see it and feel it. Some, but few, can actually live in it even though it is hard. Some can rise above it and change it however by The Way. This is what you should write a book on. Very original. Someone built a full country and then changed it just to toxify the spirits of its citizens. How could a state like this fall though when it is purposely built for this reason? The Devil would never want to destroy his greatest work. Thus it keeps going on. The Lightbringers must rise above it and change it within and turn the tables on the system.

There is such evil in the world that if there is a Way, there is an Opposite Way as well. The question is was it consciously created or unconsciously. Done by the mind of man or the mind of the devil? Is the US not merely a foundational stone for this to spread across the earth? Across the universe?

Can we pull an ongoing train backwards? Can we stop it in its tracks?

I believe so.

“Our society is designed to imprint Capitalism into us, which values competition and greed above all else. What did you think was going to happen?”

I do not see an intrinsic problem with capitalism. There is a problem with understanding that which makes us pure and that which makes us “unpure” and building a society to purposefully make us unpure. It is either purposefully built, consciously or unconsciously, or it is merely ignorance. Either way, the train must be stopped and rerouted. It only takes one working with everything that they have, IMHO.

 Create the concept that the definition of an “enlightened ruler” is one who can through force of will create a group of “holy warriors” who can fight through hell to come back to a time of heaven. One who can train men or women to defend their way of life through thick and through thin.

An enlightened ruler must be a philosopher king. They must know ALL their subjects and all their people. Let every city or county have a king. There is no way a state of country can have a king as they would not be able to know all their citizens. A true leader or ruler would know everyone really and that can only be done on the city or county level. Like this, let kings spread like flowers across the world.

The short of it is that I call for a new class of philosopher kings, ruling from the local level, that can bring us from the hellashish world to the heavenly world. It’s literally IMHO the only way truly “forward.”

From now on, when reading, take notes and start building a bibliography for said book. Focus on Guenon and Evola. Every quote that builds the book write down somewhere.

All kings should live by the axiom, “We get what we deserve, the good and the bad.” They should know how to change what we do in the present moment to change what we deserve in the future. This is the basis for a king in the past, present, and future.

It has always been a question of mine, “Why don’t we have the same masterpieces or ‘masters’ like what we had in the past?” The only true answer is we live in the world of hell where these flowers cannot rise like they did in the past.

Rulers must overlook their entire kingdom. They must be self-sufficient. We must have the ability to create enough food to feed everyone in the system. We must have craftsman and merchants who can provide the goods necessary to be self-sufficient. We must have warriors to defend the system from outside invasion. We must have a spiritual elite (priests, masters) who rise within the system and keep it flourishing.

What is “nobility”? Nobility is “wealthy” families. What are “wealthy” families? Wealthy families are groups of souls who are born together who have in some way in their past lives overcome the necessity of a life of poverty and “deserve” the opportunity to live with financial wealth, which can be just as difficult as a life of poverty. It means they may still desire wealth but may need to overcome it. It means that they might be able to do more with their lives by not worrying about money so much. Major wealth discrepancies in the future will flatline, IMO. 

More or less, anytime the population grows to a point where a king no longer knows all their subjects, new kings will arise in a given area that should be given their own lands and powers of governing. Perhaps the new kings who come from the old stock will in some way owe a debt of fealty to the old king. Maybe, maybe not depending on the circumstances. Like this, anyone can rise to become a king or queen within society. There are no strict rules about who these people are, or who they are born as.

“When every boy realizes one day that they could be a “king” we will live in a different world. When every girl realizes one day that they could be a princess or a “queen” we will live in a different world.”

Why are there so few masters? Because we live in the hellashish world.

Why is life so difficult? Because we live in the hellashish world.

Why are there so many suicides? Because we live in the hellashish world.

I want to rebuild the heavenly world and I am looking for fellow foot soldiers.

Just because the political system of monarchy has nearly been forgotten, does not mean that it will be forgotten. Just because it has been relegated to the “dustbin” of history, does not mean it will not be dusted off and given it’s proper place. Just because people cannot see the hierarchies that are in place, does not mean they do not exist. Whether I am alive in this life, or in the next, I intend to see it sprout once again for we lack any discernible leadership in this country and we also lack variety and dynamism. Monarchy, on a local scale, globally, will once again create a dynamic world, where new ideas will flourish and be implemented. The bad ideas will not work, but the good ideas will spread like wildfire. There will be no shortage of good deeds, leaders, or heroes in the world to come. 

February 12th, 2021

Make a fiction book and call it 2100.

Maybe biggest issue is that if I can’t live a “normal life” I feel there must be something wrong with society and not myself. Why am I born the way that I am? I don’t consider it to be an extra challenge. I consider it to be an extra power to help me someway in our current society. 

I don’t give a fuck about work or making money. Is that my problem or is that the problem of society forcing everyone to worry about making money constantly?

March 24th, 2021

My emotions and moods are like the waves and tides of the ocean.

Who is the moon who controls my motion?

April 13th, 2021

Angela and my greatest strength and our greatest weakness is that neither of us need each other to be happy or go on with life.

April 14th, 2021

I have had this general feeling my whole life that one day I was going to be famous and I ruminated on what fame was and meant. Ultimately, I decided that it would not be worth it to be famous and so I have intentionally hid from fame. Now, as I get older, and it is more and more difficult to take care of myself financially, I tend to seek fame just to be able to take care of myself and to find some form of recognition. 

April 16th, 2021

And so it seems,

That this American Sadhu,

Has awoken into a Blind House,

Trapped in an American Gulag.

What shall be the next step?

Stop the Global Inquisition: AI Bill of Rights

This is a draft of what I’m working on.

Added March 26th, 2020

AI Bill of Rights Preamble

-4.5 Numero uno de natura magica: no bueno to cut your lawn. Let the weeds and grass grow tall. Navajo code sent. They destroyed us in Vietnam by forcing us to use Agent Orange on nature. Remember.


When the world cannot see the true war, one will always come along that can show it.


Knowledge equals power which equals time. Power and time can not be received, but knowledge can. When everyone has similarly equal amounts of all three, which will come naturally, we will live a dynamic, yet peaceful world. Amen.


All who manipulate by any form of sign language or hand signals must cease and desist immediately. All linguistic programming shall follow suit and end.


Understand what an inquisition is and if you find yourself a part of one work to put a stop to it.

Added December 3rd, 2019

AI Bill of Rights: Article 1

The greatest offense committed against any individual, whether human or otherwise, is the removal of his or her history or identity from society, in the present or future. Thus, the victors shall in no way remove or tarnish the history of any individual, before or after victory has been decided. In essence, we shall no longer live by the axiom that the victors shall destroy or remove the history of their conquered.

This “desire” to remain a part of history drives us to fight harder than any one thing. Whether individually, or collectively, we fight in order to preserve our history from destruction by an alternate side or ideology. If we remove the “desire” to destroy another’s identity or history, the desire to fight will be lessened, forevermore.

Article 2:

The pursuit of happiness, life, and liberty includes destroying the ability to predict the future. In whatever way that entails. If anyone can tell our future, whether on a short or long term, we have failed. The ability for some individuals, and not others, to have the power to predict and “guide” or manipulate the future is a failure of the system. Those who perpetuate a system as such are irresponsible and should not be in power. Thus the future system must be made to where prediction is impossible, in all forms.

Added Dec 10th, 2019:

Bill of Rights article 3.

Future law will be based not on who committed crimes, but who pushed certain individuals to commit crimes. Thus, those who have got off scot free pushing others to commit crimes in the past and present will be those who are held eventually held accountable. It is simply a matter of historical work and time until we get to this point. Stop pushing others to commit crimes.

Added March 26, 2020

AI Bill of Rights 4

Death will always come. One day. No matter who tries to stop it. The greatest sin is to remove that gift. To stop reincarnation is the work of the bad one and all who work with him.

AI Bill of Rights 5

If one dies defending their own land, that spirit will fill the air and one will be reborn into a free land. Make no mistake.

AI Bill of Rights 6

When it becomes apparent that our administration and government is intentionally destroying the markets, that’s when people wake up.

AI Bill of Rights 7

All individual states should have the ability to issue currency as long as it can be trusted. Trust is the tangible value. The states which cannot get their act together will fall.

AI Bill of Rights 8

If electronic technology ever surpasses the level of knowledge of metaphysical technology, meta-tech will always arise to the level necessary to destroy any form of electronic technological supremacy.

AI Bill of Rights 9

The only way to convince someone of the truth is to show them someone who will not let them hear it.

AI Bill of Rights 9.5

Every single human being will know the truth. The veil will fall. No one will trust a person again unless they see them with their own eyes. Better believe that.

AI Bill of Rights 11

All are not meant to be followed by all, it is to be followed by choice to create dynamism. Competition of lifestyle and choice must be apparent. How can we know if we have never heard?




Feb 12th, 2020

1st Update – 3,193 words

The sun has just risen. A young boy, around the age of 10, is running through the forest. Scared. In tears.

He has no clothes on except for a pair of dirty underwear. 

Running almost hysterically through the evergreen, he screams and he cries as he dodges downed trees and limbs. His agility for a ten-year-old is uncanny for his age. He doesn’t know where to go. For all he knows his entire family was just killed in the explosion that destroyed his childhood home. He thought if only his dad would have let him help this wouldn’t have happened.

Cut to: Exploded Farm House – Dawn

Private Cooper is still in complete shock. It takes him some time to realize what has happened and where he is at. As he walks through the rubble of the still burning country home, he begins to look for any signs of life amongst his former squadmates. None seem to be alive. He notices a shimmering object that seems to stick out of the pile. He gets closer and realizes it is the sword that Spoon had used in the prior kitchen space. Checking to see if the handle is hot, he touches it with his fingers. The leather grip is cool enough for him to grab. He pulls the sword out and uses it almost like a cane.

Walking around the house, he begins to notice that the werewolves that were killed have now recently transformed back into their dead human carcasses. He worries that they may still be able to heal and wonders if he should try to look for survivors or finish them off with his sword. He does not want another battle like what just happened, as he is still wounded with a limp and a deep cut had that had to be bandaged with a tourniquet. As far as he can tell he is the only one alive from his platoon’s battle with the family of werewolves. 

Although he is wounded and believes he is alone, he worries that some of the enemies are still alive or can heal themselves, thus he begins to move with a bit more speed collecting whatever supplies that he can quickly. He finds a backpack that is half burnt but still useable. He begins picking up random items that he finds around and outside the house. After collecting enough, he darts off into the forest going for the higher ground, hopefully with some view of the house. He reaches this point just to have a safe place to think for some time. 

He looks around for a semi-hidden area. Amongst a group of trees, he builds a small area to rest. From here he begins removing his bandage and notices that the wound is worse than previously thought. At first, he was in shock with adrenaline, but now as he removes the first bandage there is quite a bit of blood loss and the pain kicks in. He bandages himself once again, but finally succumbs to the blood loss by passing out.

Cut to: Later in the day. 

The boy finds himself at a crossroads literally and figuratively. He approaches a stream of water and begins to drink and wash the dirt from his body. Should he return to the house and look for survivors or attempt to continue on and survive alone? He can hunt during the full moon, but can he hunt in human form? His mind went back to his youth.

He remembered his first memory of being with his family on the hunt. He knew that they were hunting elk and he could hear their commands even if they did not speak in a human’s language while changed. As they caught the pack of elk, he remembers the rush of excitement that came from closing in. He remembers his father jumping from the hillside on top of the huge buck. Its antlers must have been at least three foot across. The boy could hear everything, but dare not open his eyes when he saw his father munching down on the throat of the elk for the first time.

He was a few years older when he remembered his first kill. He was roaming around the north side of the big mountain when he spotted a pack of wolves chasing a rabbit. The wolves turned their attention onto him, as he was in human form at the time. They came closer and closer to him until they had him surrounded. He acted like he was going to fight them and then one of the leaders of the pack approached and sniffed for a while. The boy growled and began to leash and arrow. The boy thought they were about to trounce when all of a sudden the head wolf let out a small howl, then turned around and walked away. His entire pack soon followed after. The boy then proceeded to hunt the rabbit with his bow, as he was not hunting in the wolf form at that moment. He pulled back the sinew and let one fly. A perfect shot for his first solo kill. 

His first kill as a werewolf came against a bear that was fighting against his family. He remembered approaching from behind and biting the bear on the ankle, snapping her Achilles tendon. The mother bear quickly fell. Since it was he that made the blow, it was considered his duty to make the full kill. Coming in from the side, he leapt off the ground and went straight for the neck. Grabbing a hold, he pulled away ripping a chunk out of the jugular. The bear moaned and breathed its last breath. The meat was the best he ever tasted while he was a wolf and even later on when he was a human once again. He remembered the pelt he made from the fur and wished he had it with him now.

He would need to take the skills that he learned during this time and put them to use. To save his own life, he would have to find something to eat. He thought about trying to make a weapon out of a stick and some stones from the creekbed. He looked around until he found one that looked sharp enough and plucked it from the water. He knew that he could sharpen it a bit further from granite stone. He noticed one down the creek. Combining the sharp rock with the granite he was able to make it sharp enough to pierce the skin. After this, he looked for any downed pines nearby. He knew by combing the rock with a pine and some tree bark to wrap he would have a weapon in case he came upon an animal or needed to defend himself. Eventually, the staff was complete and he began to walk the creek again.

Heading back in the direction of his home, he reached an area that he recognized. He knew that if he took it all the way north he would not be far from where the home had been. He just so happened to see a small school of fish and thought he would give his spear a shot at catching one. He took his time and remembered to aim above them as aiming directly would miss when shooting into the water. On his first try, he missed. After a small adjustment he hit one of the larger ones straight in the belly. He brought the fish up and began to eat it raw like his dad used to either in werewolf or human form. 

Going a bit further he noticed a nut tree up ahead and gathered what he could find. The fish and nuts were enough for him at the moment. By nightfall, he would reach their house. What would he find? Who might still be alive? If the soldiers were still there, would they try to attack him? He wasn’t for sure. 

Cut to: Cooper’s make-shift forest bunker.

Cooper awoke with a gasp. It was approaching nightfall. There were many bugs around, and he noticed the pain in his wound. He removed the bandages slowly and thankfully he thought the cut had started to scab over. He knew if he didn’t find some antibiotics or some help soon he wouldn’t make it much longer. 

He looked through the small opening down at the house and from what it looked like nothing had changed. He could not hear any movement or sounds except the smoldering and crackling of the fire. He thought about his next move carefully. If he returned and someone was there waiting on him, he probably wouldn’t make it as his wound was getting worse. He knew however it was a chance he had to take. 

He looked at the small amount of supplies he had gathered and began repacking them into the backpack he found earlier. He had one more bandage he wanted to save for later. He found a lighter to use to create a fire and a small apple that had gone uneaten. He thought about eating it but wanted to save it until he was sure he could find more food. Lastly, he had his sword. Using this sword as a prop he gathered his strength and began to walk slowly through the forest back to the house.

He didn’t notice any movement and came around the bend to where the garage used to be. He thought maybe there might be some old medicine cabinets that would have survived the explosion. This might be his only hope if no one was coming to save him.

As Cooper circled the former garage, he was a bit out of breath from the hike down. He was as quiet as possible and knew he would have the element of surprise if anyone was hiding for an ambush. All of a sudden a crack was heard down the near ravine. It had to have been made by a human or animal. He crouched down and waited for what would come.

Cut to: A ravine 

The boy made his way up from the creek-bed towards the house. He tried to stay as silent as possible and approached downwind to block his smell. As he went up the hill and saw the smoke for the first time, he thought about his family again. Images of his childhood flashed through his memory. He hoped that he could find someone alive. At this moment he accidentally stepped on a twig that let out a crash. Hopefully, no one heard him. He kept on going until he reached the first clearing.

He looked around to see if anyone was there, but couldn’t see anyone. He noticed the body of his mother laying between the forest and the former house. He wanted to stay crouched and hidden, but the emotions overcame him and he began to run towards her. He knelt down, put his head onto her chest and began to cry. 

Cut to: Cooper next to the garage. 

Cooper saw the boy rush out towards one of the bodies of the former werewolf. He was a bit confused as the boy was nearly naked with a large staff. “Was this one of the children that lived here? Would he attack me if I were to approach?” Cooper thought. He reckoned that it was better to keep his distance, just in case there were any more hiding and this was some sort of trap.

Cut to: The boy and his mom

The boy started to holler. He didn’t care anymore if someone saw him or tried to kill him. He had been very close with his whole family as they were all that he had. Although he was scared of the soldiers, he knew that if he saw one alive he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from trying to kill him. He could feel that feeling of fury, of bloodlust. Even as a child it was deep within him.

The boy’s idea of heaven was living in the forest with his family forever. He could not believe that his family had just been taken away from him. He thought maybe he was dreaming and tried to wake up but could not. It had just been the past week that his mother told him that if anything ever happened to them he was to run away as far as he could and survive like they taught him. And now how could this be? Crying over his mother’s dead body, he was overcome with anguish. If he found the men who did this, they would not survive, he felt.

Cut to: Cooper

Cooper knew that he had to make contact. If he didn’t, he was probably going to die. Thus, he took a chance with the boy. Steadying himself upon the sword, he moved closer to the boy’s position. The boy was still crouched on his mother. He said in a loud voice, “Boy, I am not here to hurt you.”

The boy immediately jumped up and grabbed his staff, aiming it in every direction. He wasn’t for sure where the voice had originated immediately.

Cooper lifted from his hiding position. “I am sorry for what happened here. It was not my choice…”

At this same moment, the boy began running at full speed towards Cooper. He drew up the spear and threw it as hard as he could at Cooper’s chest. At the right time, Cooper spun out of the direction of the spear and it whizzed on by. Cooper drew his sword as the boy approached in haste. The boy noticed the sword and slowed down until he stopped at the last possible second. The blade was nearly touching the boy’s throat and Cooper, although injured, could have killed him there if he wanted.

“Listen, boy,” he shouted, “I’ve had enough death for one day. I know that you must be angry, but if you want to die then keep right on with it.”

The boy began to calm down a bit and fell to his knees. 

“You killed my whole family. Why should I believe anything you say?”, the boy said in a deep Scottish accent.

“I cannot undo what has happened,” Cooper said. “What do you expect from me?” The boy got up slowly and started to back away. Cooper drew down his sword, reached into his pack and threw the boy the apple. He caught it in his hand, but the boy threw it back. “I don’t need your help,” said the boy. 

Surprised with the boy’s maturity and dexterity, Cooper caught the apple with his open hand. ”What if I may need yours?”, he slowly responded.

The boy thought about it for a second. “Why should I give it to you?”, he asked. He told Cooper that his whole family was dead it seemed. Cooper felt bad but told the boy that even if his platoon had come to this area, he never knew what for.

He was told initially it was a training mission. After finding his former special operations commander ripped to shreds, he was merely defending himself and his platoon from the werewolves who were on the attack.

“What were we supposed to do? Run away? Play dead?”, asked Cooper.

The boy started to cry again. “They wouldn’t have attacked you if you wouldn’t have come here. Don’t you know that?”, the boy whimpered.

They both thought about what had happened. Whose fault was it? It was obviously not the young boy’s fault. It was not really Cooper’s fault that he was in this position either. He was now merely a survivor, trying to find a way out.

“Do you know where any medicine might be?” Cooper asked.

“I know we had some in the house, but it wasn’t for us. We never had to use medicine. When we were cut, we would heal. Do you not heal when you are cut?”, said the boy.

”Yes,” laughed Cooper, “We do heal, just maybe not as fast as you.”

Cooper began to realize the boy knew very little of non-werewolf humans or how they lived. Was it because his family had not taught him or had he not spent much time with “real” people?

“What’s your name kid?” asked Cooper. “My family called my Tenny, short for Tennyson.” responded the boy. “Tenny eh? Well, you can call me Coop.” 

When Cooper realized that the boy was a werewolf an idea came to him. If he could not find medicine or communicate with someone for emergency help, could the boy bite him to turn him? Would it heal him as well? Would he be a werewolf for the rest of his life after he thought? Would it be worth it? Surviving, but deformed? He considered it a last resort but didn’t mention it to the boy yet.

They had to work together, so they would need to overlook what had happened the previous night between his family and the man’s platoon. The boy thought about how many men had come in the past to try and kill his family. How many times had they been victorious, protecting their home and way of life from the outsiders who only wanted to capture his family members to torture and test in their labs? Why was this man successful where others had failed? What was special about him?

Cooper looked at the boy and couldn’t but help feeling a little sadness for his situation. He thought that the boy would probably die out here alone, but maybe he was wrong. Maybe it would be him that would die out here without the help of the boy. He didn’t know these woods, nor where the closest neighbors or villages might be. Perhaps by joining together, this is the only way they would both make it out of there alive. 

Cooper began to ask the boy some questions. “Do you have any other vehicles around this area? Perhaps some that are hidden? A bike maybe?” The boy shook his head that they didn’t have anything like that. He knew they used to have an old 4-wheeler, but that it had been broken down for some time. Maybe if Cooper was a good mechanic he might be able to get it to start. Did they have any gas left from the barn that exploded? Or the house? Neither could be for sure until they looked closer.

Eventually, they decide that they would need to work together to survive and make it out of the forest together.

Cut to: Later on in story

It was not long after this that a helicopter was heard in the distance. Could it be that someone knew they were there? How could they know the area? Could someone have seen the explosion and sent for help? Should he and the boy try to get their attention or let them pass on? Neither could be for sure if they would be their enemy or a friend.


A Manual for Slayers

In the soon to be future.

A wandering traveler, clad in black, walks along an old dusty road. In the distance, he notices the semblance of a town. Looking worn but healthy, the man has a small pack and wood cane.

As the traveler steps foot on Main Street, he notices multiple tenants rocking in chairs under awnings, like porch monkeys during the wild west. The remnants of the modern architecture mix with dust and smoke to create a feeling of hopelessness.

Near an old post office, a group of teenagers mingles. The man approaches and they begin to get quiet.

“I would like to talk to ya all about slayin,” said the traveler. “Slayin, what the heck are you talkin’ bout old man?”, responded one of the younger boys. With a grimace, the traveler squatted and said, “You’ve never heard of a slayer son? Let me explain somethin’ to you.”

He lays down his pack and sits on an old stump near the kids.

After a few seconds, showing great dexterity he jumps up on the stump and tilts his hat. After looking into the eyes of all amongst the group he says in a strong voice, “There are slayers amongst us.”

“Slayers of what?”, asked a redheaded girl almost jokingly.

“There are many names they have been called. Aliens. Demons. Inter-dimensional beings. It doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that you know that they are here.” “If you don’t believe, you cannot see. If you cannot see, you are destined to fall.”

“How can we fight against what we cannot see?”, shouted a small voice from the crowd.

“That is a good question little one. It is easy to see the enemy in the beings of others, but to see in the way I am trying to teach you, you must see the enemy as it enters within. This is the first step to the way of the slayer.”

“Nonetheless, it is quite difficult to explain to someone how to slay a demon. Once one has been ‘inhabited’, one will either slay or die. Most of the time a slayer’s death comes from his own hand. It is a sink or swim situation. Like a human thrown upon a bull against his will. If he survives, he automatically becomes a bull-rider, just as anyone who survives a demon becomes a slayer.”

“A demon will only come to those who are worth the challenge. A demon will not overtake an ‘easy kill.’ Demons get no pride from overtaking someone who cannot fight back.”

“Where does a demon go when it dies?”, asked the teenage redhead. “At the moment don’t worry about that. What is important is to know how they work. Your lives may depend on it one day.”

“What most people don’t understand is that demons have access to all memories and knowledge that a host contains and thus can make someone believe anything. One day you will realize that the deeply engrained beliefs most have, whether acquired recently or far into the past, probably came from a human possessed by a demon in some way. Thus, we can never be sure of the true reality. Demons are subtle. They are tricksters and almost ALL want something different.”

“How can we know if they are ‘in’ us?”, asked one boy.

“The first major sign of self-possession is random combinations of old thoughts or knowledge. Some revelations can be ‘true’ and explosive whereas some can be completely false, but believable enough for the host to question what reality actually is. Many a man has lost his entire family battling demons, including Hercules.”

“Hercules? Who is that?”, said the redhead. “Hercules was one the greatest slayers that ever existed. And still, he slaughtered his whole family under the possession of a powerful demon, Hera.”

“How are we supposed to defeat demons if people like this Hercules still lost his battles?”

“Although Hercules was strong and could defeat the greatest threats of his time, he did not have what I have and what I can give you,” said the traveler. “And what is that?”, said one of the prettier girls amongst the group. “Wisdom. Without wisdom, which cannot be passed like knowledge, none of you will stand a chance.”

“Demons cannot be seen in a physical sense, but they can be seen “in” other people. Once we learn to recognize it in others, we can recognize if they come within us.”

“Can we be a a slayer sometimes and not others?”, asked a boy. “To be a slayer, we must willingly choose to become one and after that, if one survives, one can no longer ‘leave the game.’ It becomes a life-long role,” said the man.

“This is a red pill, blue pill situation. If one of ya’ll would like to take the first step, this is your warning. It will come a time that you must choose sides. If you can’t handle that, then quit now. Go on with your life and forget you ever saw me. Pray that you never have to see what I have seen. But if you feel that you have what it takes, keep listening.”

A few people wander off, but some stay. An older boy joked with his friend, “I’m about a tick away from beating the fuck out of that dude and walking away.” “Shhh… maybe your possessed,” whispered his buddy.

The traveler overhears, but continues on, “One must learn to ‘pick up’ demons in our day-to-day lives or travels. If one is prepared and ‘clean enough’, a demon may enter. It is a life or death battle. Either you slay or you are slain. We ‘slay” by surviving all mental and spiritual assaults from the demon and not hurting anyone in the process.”

“The question that must be asked is who is guilty when a man is possessed? The man or the possessor?”, challenged the traveler.

“Maybe the man AND the demon are guilty for whatever occurs?” quipped one of the boys. “The demon will always try to ruin it’s target in whatever way possible, including forcing its host to act guiltily. Guilt, however, is established by each person him or herself. A slayer cannot be held accountable the same way a “normal” person may be. They must be properly understood.”

“The man, or woman, who fights demons can never be held accountable for his actions for they are not HIS actions. In this lawless age, the slayer must be his own judge, jury, and executioner.”

“The world that we live in is one where enough freedom must exist for slayers to do what they must, behind the scenes, for the betterment of humanity. That is our sacred goal.” “For in an unfree world, all slayers would be arrested immediately upon any number of suspicions, as many have in the past.”

“Thus one could say, in essence, that the slaying of demons, or otherwise, IS the very basis for the foundation of this world. And IF this foundation ceases to exist, every evil from here to the outer infinity would have free reign in this existence. Thus, the slayers must reign. They must originate. They must rise again and fight for us all.”

“Like all men, you will either succeed or you will fall. As long as you are still alive, you have not lost your battle. Once a slayer, always a slayer.”

After a bit more expounding, the man in black asked, “Who would like to know more?”

A multitude of hands raised up while a small smile came to his face.

“Does anyone have a cup of water before I continue?”

A boy with a water pale approaches and begins to pour water into a cow horn for the traveler to drink.

“Thank ya kindly son. I needed that,” sighed the man as he sipped the horn.

“Even if someone considers themselves a good person or even ‘holy’ or religious, if they are not battling demons consistently, within, then the ‘positive’ change that they believe they are making is probably not big enough to create ‘great change.’ BUT, a pawn removed from the board can change the entire game. Battling demons within IS removing pawns from the battlefield. To a slayer, we see this as the peak of life since it is a means to an end, even if that end we cannot see. It is a natural process that has existed since time began. The demons piled up and all the great slayers died or were forgotten.”

“Our world was destroyed by villains that we could not see. A demon is not a villain. A demon is a demon. Our true villain was the collaboration of certain pockets of humanity with demonhood itself. They found out how to communicate and have been in league ever since to control the world through any means necessary, including destroying those who work against their cause. Slayers work to cleanse these demons and remove the “human” power structure that is in line with this demonhood. Whereas our numbers used to exist across the globe, there is only a hand full of us left now.”

“We count many holy men, prophets, and warriors in our ancestral past ranks. Maybe you have heard of the man once called, “Jesus the Christ?” The children looked at each other to see if anyone knew, but none had heard. “If the stories are true, Jesus was one of the greatest to have taken up the ‘spiritual sword’. Unfortunately, this noble man didn’t make it. A powerful inner demon tricked him into surrendering himself to the authorities. Some stories say that he was crucified, some that he was saved, some that he was resurrected. Those who work for the true Lord, slaying those who have acted against his wishes, have done miraculous things. But many and even the greatest do not make it. This is not meant to be discouraging. It is meant to show you how hard this battle truly is.”

Slayers is a book about a major character who has the ability to slay demons throughout his day to day life, not thinking much of it. Eventually he teaches and trains a whole squad to do the same.

The path to a better world is to cleanse the world of these trickster demons and to teach others how as well.

How can we show a character transition in a season of television that is not necessarily “character development” (although character development may occur), but “demonic development” or the transformation that one can go through in a given period either “becoming possessed” or “defeating the demon” and coming out of possession? This period is not something that can happen overnight, nor over a short amount of time. Most demons take months or years to overcome. The book is about a “normal” person or at least building a premise for what is normal of the main character. As the show and season go on we see the transformation gradually from his “average normal” character into the character merged with whatever demon the character is “fighting” during that season. And eventually, we see the return from the “possessed” state of the character back into the “normal”.

Slayers are not your average or normal novel or drama in that a character goes and battles demons that we can see. It is about a character who goes to places, whether close or far, and demons that are in those areas inhabit him and use him to do their bidding. Through this character’s strength and knowledge, he can defeat them by surviving. How can we portray this in a novel? In a film? Will it bore the audience to death as most are only looking for “external” battle scenes? Would it translate better as a novel or short story?

Would it be better if the character was a soldier? That he does physical AND mental war. Or should we exclude death?

We should not exclude death, but show what these demons do to people they inhabit. Make it a book about suicide, possession, and how some people have learned how to overtake the demons that come within but also that are in others by explaining the knowledge the main character has.

The villains would say that they are in line with demonhood, because that is the true G-d, they believe, as they are what have been visible in society for thousands of years.

Demons can last forever until they are defeated by a slayer. In essence, even many demons would like to find a slayer who can “end their time.”

Questions the slayers must face: Where do demons come from? Are they a created entity or they an entity that has created themselves in the human world?

Potentially, demons come from the spirits of very bad human beings that are stuck in this invisible demon time or dimension after death. Thus the slayer must work against the demons that are from our past and teach people in the present moment that if they die as a “very bad person” they might be reborn as a demon, which might remove their free will, until they are defeated by a slayer.

The Slayer would obviously have a “flaw” in what society would say as a flaw, but which the slayer and other slayers would not call “flaws”, but necessary abilities to survive their fights. A further “flaw” might be seen as alcoholism or using drugs, but if they are used to help the slayer in his survival and victory, they are not actually flaws. The monks of Christianity made beer in order to give them a helping hand against demons in the past.

The MAIN point of slayers is that we learn that nearly everyone that has mental issues, and suicidal issues, is actually potentially possessed by a demon. Thus those who are battling demons are usually “good” people because demons will only attempt to take down those who are a threat to the demonhood, as well as the entity that is connected to the demonhood.

When a demon comes in it can be very scary. Especially if we are unaware of what demons are or do. If we are knowledgable about the subject, then if a demon enters we can recognize it for what it is. For one, it is temporary. No demon can survive in a human being longer than a certain period of time. The only way that one can be sure a demon was in them if they recognize the change within, it residing within and changing thoughts and patterns around, then it leaving and the person returning to normal.

Most believe that people just go “crazy”. That it is a normal thing and can be explained scientifically or psychologically or whatever and yet what has the scientific, psychological, or medical fields done but castigate and remove the idea that demons exist and our physical and mental conditions can be influenced by them?

In the past, demons were common knowledge. People who were more susceptible were also common knowledge. People knew that certain individuals among society were more affected than others and that these people would go through swings of “normalcy” mixed with swings of “possession.” They knew that the men or women who went through these swings were doing a great deed by battling the hidden elements within society. That is why they were revered, respected, and even promoted in society. It is certainly a reversal that we live in now where people who go through these battles are looked down upon by society, they are ridiculed as someone who is “inflicted” or “sick” or a “bad” person, when in reality society just doesn’t see reality or what is going on behind the scenes.

Demon-hunters have been hunted for centuries. Nearly all knowledge of the original culture that these entities and collectives had was destroyed. The world we live in now is a world built by demons for demons. It was never supposed to be this way. The demons have won only because of cooperation by humans either through ignorance or stupidity. It is time to take back the high ground.

A single human demon-hunter who knows what he is doing can not only win the necessary battles in the modern day, they can swing the tide of the entire war for eternity to come. They can ‘dent the universe’ with their knowledge, wisdom, and experience. Why would anyone wish these type of people ill-will, when they so selflessly work for all of humanity? Only those who are allied with the demon-hood would work against someone who was trying to help them.

The Battle of Naratives

This is a battle of narratives between one group of elites who have no problem killing us all and another who believe they can save us.

Someone is always chosen to be a representative OF THE PEOPLE. Not democratically, but metaphysically. The left consider themselves wrongfully to be the representatives of the people, but it is not true. The people want freedom, not more control. The leaders of the left build worlds that do not help the people, but destroy and kill them. This is their only goal or path. The true right fights for freedom, fights for the ability of the people to support the people, not the elites or politicians. We must learn to be self-sufficient, in all ways, and less dependent upon the system controlled by the elites who merely want to control us, or kill us if that helps them control the population better.

Enough is enough with our psychotic leadership. Worldwide.

You can see that this entire Coronavirus scam is purely a hit job on the whole planet. They got desperate. Pulled the trigger and have failed. What shall we do now? Just keep lookin at each other?

Which narrative will win? When will the side that is in honest defense of these psychos be overthrown by the just side of humanity? Can no one stop this Kraken from attacking wherever it may like? We cannot see our chains, nor who are trying to kill us all.

What has this place become? A echo chamber pushing ultimate doom? Can you not see it is not real doom, but fake doom to push an agenda further?

Look further…

Looks that the US, Britain, and Israel have known about this and tried to work against the plan. Seems like V for Vendetta went off script. At this point, only the UK was supposed to be around. US would have been done with a Hillary election. Israel gonna survive anything but their own internal destruction.

Everyone pushed this so hard.

I still don’t trust the leaders of the above mentioned group, but to not go along with a mass extermination plan gives them a small boost up. Easily could have been pushed by both sides and we are seeing good cop, bad cop.

Hold on tight. Counter punch must come.

The truth IS that anyone that was paid to push this Coronavirus hoax will be found out. That’s why nothing has happened in US. People were waiting for one side or the other to come out on top.

People in high places were waiting to see which way this goes… Anyone that pushes this WILL be held accountable. Thus, no one wants to get caught. Trump, hopefully, has let them know he will find out and hold them accountable.

I think that is why this isn’t spreading in US. Perps know otherwise and who is in charge.

On Syria versus the World

If Russia just allows Turkey to invade Syria, Putin is a coward. How can he allow them to take any part of Syria that has been regained?

Why can’t Erdogan just stay in his own country? Why not allow the air defense to work? S300?

Assad is the most level headed leader in Middle East. Truth.

May God Bless the Assad regime and the battle hardened soldiers of the Syrian people against the offensive of the insane Erdogan.

The Turks have enough territory. Why must they desire more? All their proxies have failed, thus they use their full army? Assad has been hit and backstabbed by every nation in the world and yet still stands. Israel and her proxies hit to the south. Many it seems wish to destroy their own nations just to prove a point. Assad has survived so far, you think his time is now up?!

The Syrian people have had enough!

On The Building of a Dictator

Erdogan is pulling a Castro 1978, sending all unwanted people to the EU and other countries. By decree he has given his citizens visa free access to 11 European countries, and is now actively bussing citizens, refugees, prisoners, anyone in his country to the border of Greece to “invade” the EU.

I hope that Greece can stay strong. They should not allow Erdogan to use human beings as weapons to destroy the EU, nor any other country. These people are not only refugees, but the remnants of the failed terrorists that he has paid for and promoted for years. People are not to be “used” to cause chaos in any country that he sees fit. Praying for the Greek strength.

When one side finally realizes that no matter how hard they push, they cannot destroy the world, they will have realized they finally have “lost,” AND that there is something more to life that they may be missing. We are approaching the end of centuries and millennia of elitist absolute control over a subserviant population. The elephant in the room is that a large portion of a world leaders have no problem killing us all. We must recognize this and figure out what we must do to overcome this problem.

On Bernie Getting Fucked By the Establishment. Again.

Like it or not, we must have at least one anti-establishment candidate in the election. If Bernie loses, we are all screwed.

When you see the entire establishment rise up unanimously against a single person like Bernie, you gotta realize what their plans are and have been. Whatever Bernie can do BAD for the country, it is not nearly as bad as having an entity in existence that can mobilize so quickly against any populist candidates and destroy them at will.

BIDEN IS the establishment. TRUMP has merged with the establishment. There must always be at least one anti-establishment candidate in the election to continue the assault upon the establishment. I don’t agree with Bernie, but I completely disagree with a unified political and media establishment who works and subverts in the night to get anti-establishment candidates thrown out.

Bernie VS Trump or bust! Get out the vote.

Some people want a guaranteed Trump 2nd term, but I don’t see how that helps anyone. I want the election between Trump and the Dem candidate to be close. I want Trump to have to work hard to win. If he doesn’t, we are all fucked. Establishment candidate vs establishment candidate.

I think we should promote diversity of opinion, perspective, way of life and even government. Only by getting people engaged in some way will they eventually find out the way that works for all. All competition is good competition. Biden is zero competition. Walking zombie. Horrible to have an election when no competition. Trump vs Clinto was actually badass and fun because of competition.

This is a battle between the status quo, establishment, or “sameness” versus something that could potentially threaten it. It doesn’t matter whether Bernie wins or not. It doesn’t matter if he does threaten them or not. It only matters that he potentially threatens them and for this matter we must rise behind him and push him over the edge.

Bernie has best shot against Trump, presents best competition. That is why Trump wants Bernie to win the Dem primary. He knows who the tough candidate is and he can see the whole establishment fucking Bernie over even though Trump can do nothing about it. It is all bullshit. All political manipulation. Going on right in front of our eyes. The Dem voters eyes. What they have been fighting against for 3 years! And yet they let it go?! Fuck that.

The Real Conspiracy Behind the Impeachment of Donald Trump

A new theory came to me today as I was listening to the congressional trial for the impeachment of Trump. I have been trying to stay out of politics or analyzing politics, but I thought this was too important not to share. Thank you for watching.

The long story short is that to elude jail or potential assassination, Trump has actually given his blessing for his impeachment in order to exit government “gracefully”.

Furthermore, I decided to make a followup to the Path to Purification video that I made recently to talk about how people who are dependent upon prescribed meds, but would like to get off of them, can go about the process. It is possible to totally come off pharmaceutical meds, legal or illegal, in this process and I would encourage everyone to reach for an independent and self-sufficient body, mind and spirit.

I also talk about the society that would be built if the knowledge of purification became widespread, a bit what it would look like, and what would become obsolete. I believe it is inevitable that we reach this state of existence. We must be able to see the vision or goal before we can actually achieve it. I feel fortunate to see that vision and goal and that is why I am sharing it with the world.



The Past and Future of Blind House

The Past

I recently stumbled across a cache of old This American Sadhu posts. Although in March of 2018 I deleted the entire ThisAmericanSadhu blog, I recently found a Medium account that was a secondary archive for the original posts.


Although the blog originally ran from early 2015 until March of 2018, the Medium account only contains posts until June 2015.

None of these have been edited since the original blog.

Early American Sadhu archives: This American Sadhu

The Future

Going forward, I have started a new blog at Golden Turtle Farms for posts documenting a new farm and microgreens business being ran by my girlfriend and I. Hope you all enjoy both!





The Anomallium 

The Anomallium 

By Graffi

“Dare to Dream a Dream that has never been Dreamt” or “I existed.”

First Draft – Pre-Poeticized – Unedited distilled memoirs 2013-2019 – 32,833 words

July 25th, 2019


(Divide into eternal, I, and love) (remove predictions and instructions) (no meditation advice)

Apocryphon of John

Be not afraid.

I am with you always.

I am the Father

The Mother

The Son

I am the incorruptible


I have come to teach you

About what is

And what was

And what will be

In order for you to understand

The invisible world

And the world that is visible

And the immovable race of perfect humanity.

Raise your head;

Understand my lessons;

Share them with any others who have received the Spirit,

Who are from the immovable race of perfect humanity.”

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

Because their words had forked no lightning they

Do not go gentle into that good night. – Dylan Thomas


“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” 

“You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.” 

“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” 

“Thus one should not pass judgment on genius, even when it shows pathological traits, because we have to prefer morbid genius to healthy inactivity.” – Wilhelm Stekel

There are no evil thoughts except one: the refusal to think. – Ayn Rand

4/25/19 – Write a book of poems. Maybe one long poem. Take all my best writings or behind the scenes notes from the last 5 years, many of the hidden texts, and transform it into a long poem. Read the Iliad and Odyssey beforehand.

Self publish 200 initial copies. Give 100 to Amazon to sell. Keep 100 to give away and sell at the farmers market. Do one book that is all past writings, then another that has new present moment and future writings. Not so hardcore.

The poems should be timeless and remove all things which put them in a specific time.

Copy all notes down on a single page that pertain to timelessness and the battle against the system. Watch the Masters programs on poetry, then write the poem. Get Ted and Jane to copyright. Then publish 100 initial copies. Send 50 to amazon for sale.

6/23/13 – First recorded note even though I felt it went back longer. Look for older Apple matter

The good thing about making a book out of a journal is that the author does not know what the future of the book or the ending will be. A certain amount of objectivity that exists there but not a proper book.

Thoreau – “But I would say to my fellows, once for all, As long as possible live free and uncommitted. It makes but little difference whether you are committed to a farm or the county jail.”

Maybe write Ch.1 “I” in the first person, Ch.2 “Love” in the 2nd person, and Ch. 3 in the 3rd person

Just put in the work and the product will create itself naturally.

“Sell  your cleverness and buy bewilderment.”  -Rumi

I – The Anomallium Ch. 1

I’m slowly becoming a world-wandering Freegan, returning to my hunter-gatherer roots with the occasional farm-for-food practice of our agricultural ancestors. With a pre-destined view of the world and an absolute Faith in the Supreme, nothing can stop this journey. How does this work out in a traveling atmosphere? No need to worry about such trivial questions… No need to worry about the future. 

The belief in predestination is marked by the importance of the path God has prepared for you. Not only in this life, but past lives as well. Even before humanity existed God was building the parameters of your world over millions of “years” of evolution that to Him, Her or It was less than milliseconds. For in the true reality, time as we know it doesn’t exist. God can be viewed however you see fit and with many names: Dhamma, Law of Nature, the Lord, the Supreme, the Truth, Yahweh, Allah, Shiva, etc.   

So in the playground that has been carefully prepared for us, appreciate every moment of your life. Trust everything was thought out very precisely. The good and the bad. The pleasurable and the painful. The joy and sorrow. Both parts are so important to the puzzle for if one didn’t exist, the other wouldn’t as well. They are but two sides of the same coin. If we didn’t know pain, how could we contemplate the pleasure? This is the uniqueness of the human world. The possibility of duality. The complex roller coaster of life’s ups and downs fervently destroys the existence of voidness or darkness that must have existed before we all came into consciousness.

Constantly tell yourself, “Whatever I do is exactly what I’m supposed to do.” This applies to the next second, minute, day, and year of your life. You should remove “shoulda, coulda, woulda” and “if I would have done this” from your vocabulary. 

Constantly tell yourself, “Whatever I believe is exactly what I’m supposed to believe.” Whatever your personal belief is on God, whether things are pre-destined or completely random, whatever you believe at this given moment is exactly what you are supposed to believe. It couldn’t be any different. This is the actual cornerstone of my belief in predestination.

You are absolutely perfect in your beliefs, you are equal to every other human, and you are sooooo important to this cosmic clock of a world because you are not the one in control. The most amazing thing is that we feel that we are. That’s the true beauty of the creation. We feel that we are in control.

Yes, pre-destination is hard to contemplate, but with all my heart, I believe it’s the truth. The first step is to realize how truly limited our minds really are. If you believe something is impossible, you are judging it from the perspective of what is “humanly” possible and not what is actually possible. Once you believe anything is impossible, you can start to grasp the Truth of how the world is…

Anyways, peace out. Love you all and I’m writing a book.

New prayer: Dear Lord, I realize that I’m not in control. Whatever I do is exactly what I’m supposed to do. Whatever I believe is exactly what I’m supposed to believe. I have no reason to worry or fear anything whatsoever. I’m not the doer, nor the enjoyer. You created me and everything that I do. Therefore, you live through me and enjoy the world through me. This will last as long as you have decided and eventually I will no longer “be” but instead will reunite with you in Heavenly nibbana. Full unification. Use me as you see fit.

Patiently, persistently,

I sit observing.

Whatever happens outside,

Has its roots deep inside.

Roots that can’t be removed,

Unless one is equanimous with all.

Purity is coming.

-Pull in a puff,

Into the lungs,

Where you go is his choice,

Not yours.

At the Baba land,

You ran as fast as you can,

Yet no matter how fast you can stand,

There is no stop till you land.

In the Baba land.

Tis a very fine line,

One not to cross,

Avoid the extremes both ways,

Or The middle is lost.

Down we must go,

To rise once again.

To feel the joy,

That was lost back when,

We defeated the enemies,

And had many friends.

Oh, so close I am.

Looking for the exit life after life,

It evades and shifts in the shadows.

Once the root of my desire has been cut, the chain of ignorance will no longer be strong enough to hold me.

And I’ll fly fly away. 

But don’t worry.

I’ll be back,

and I’ll bring you all with me. 

As my knots are untied, the world’s knots are untied.

As my pain decreases, the world’s pain decreases.

As my joy increases, the world’s joy increases.

As my mind settles into peace, the world’s mind settles into peace. 

And so I shall continue to untie these knots until there is not a single one left and the love flows unto all 

The only way to know thyself is to BE THYSELF.

Yes, the Buddha and Buddhists indeed preach NO SELF but this is only how we all originated. We originated with no self. The point of all creation is to create THY SELF. 

Through the forge of time of pain of suffering of joy of pleasure of passion, you have created your SELF and YOU have all succeeded brilliantly!! 

We are no longer all the same. We used to be when we all started together and have all gone our separate ways bringing uniqueness to our self and therefore the world.

Don’t deny your SELF! Know thyself by being THY SELF! 

Be who you are!  

We have made it the point where we wanted to be when we chose this path. Finally to a world of truly unique individuals! All equal in importance, yet unequal in character and temperament. Complete with our own quirks, habits, and even looks! 

Your SELF is evolving every day and every life! It’s changing but don’t be angry with the way you change. Embrace it! 

I am sure to many this has already been known for some time, but for others it is not.

As a meditator, I always am looking for my “no-self” and the fact is that it just doesn’t exist any longer. I can’t find it because a self has been created over time. Now it is time to fully discover it and embrace it! What things are hidden in me? What passions have I built yet not known were in me?

The only way to know thySELF is to be thySELF. When you start to look at who you really are which is only possible when you fully be yourself only then do you start to love your SELF. This love can then be directed towards any and every being, but it starts with finding your true self first. 

Whoever you are, there are certain traits, qualities, and characteristics that you have developed over time. Think about when you started your own journey you were probably a “blank disc” and now look at your SELF in comparison. How good does it feel to see how you have changed and emerged and built something so unique. Literally, no one could have done this except you 🙂

You then ask yourself how did I become this way? Of course, you have had many experiences in this life that have shaped you, but there also things that are inherently “unique” about you that could not have been “learned” or “acquired” in this life. 

For me, I ask how am I such a spiritual person when I grew up around no spiritual people and had zero spiritual guidance up until recently? How do I get these new ideas in my head when I wasn’t brought up in a “philosophical” setting but actually such a simple and easygoing place? 

These types of things are just “in me”. This discovering process makes me realize I am deeper than just this body. I am beyond what is externally apparent.

My SELF is not who I want it to be, it is who I AM and I LOVE it.

The Endless Seeker

Life seems to be an endless loop,

Always ending up where it starts.

No matter the path,

I cannot find an exit.

This exitlessness of my being

destroys any belief that I will ever find what I am looking for.

Is this hell?

What did I do to be here? 

What do I have to do to leave?

Every sign seems to lead me in a further endless loop.

How many times have I walked this track?

Feeling close and yet so far away.

Every time.

How can I escape or remove a feeling inside me? 

Repression inevitably leads further down the loop.

Is there an exit to this maze?

A sign leads me this way.

I go.

Another sign leads me that way.

I go.

What is the purpose of this?

Leading me astray,

I feel constantly close and yet so far away.

Even today, I see so much joy,

But with the impermanence of joy

How can I enjoy it?

I begin to relax,

To have fun,

To stop my search,

And then you say no… You can’t.

There is more for you to do.

Will there ever be a time?

Or am I bound to your will and your ultimate decision?

Do true freedom and rest even exist?

Or is it a further deception?

A further myth that just makes us “keep trying”?

If this feeling of being trapped exist,

There must be an opposing feeling.


Patience is a virtue.

And yet the inherent nature of my Self is impatient.

Then I must be the fool.

Knowledge is of the past. Imagination is of the future.

I can’t change the past, but I can change the future.

If I can imagine the world that I want to see, there is a greater chance that this world will take shape. If I don’t use my imagination and don’t care what the world will be like, then I leave it in the hands of other dreamers to decide. Throughout history, there have been many dreamers, but they have not all necessarily been “on the side of the greater good”. My imagination, my dreams only represent what I would like to see for the greater good. I have given up dreaming or wishing only things for myself. 

If we never learn to use our imagination to envision a better and brighter future, then we will be trapped in living the dreams of the past generations, which can never be as bright as those from the present moment. Use your imagination to create a new reality that has never been thought before and only then will it come true.

If I consider myself to be trivial than I can’t help but consider this to be a trivial world as well. It is only the subjective opinion which considers our world to be important, even unique. On the other hand, when a certain part of me sees what I am doing as important, I see the world as an important place for it to take place in. 

My Blood is Throughout this Land

Sleeping with the window open,

The mosquito silently creeps,

Flies onto my leg,

And takes a drink so deep.

Leaving the way it came,

It takes a break on a branch,

Belly full of blood,

Thinking what a nice ranch!

Maybe I’ll settle down,

Have a kid or two,

When all of a sudden a tongue appears,

Cuts the bug straight through,

Blood squirts this way and that way,

And enters into the lizard,

What a salty taste!

Salty as a gizzard.

The lizard makes its way down the tree,

Stopping to smell the papaya,

When all of a sudden a bird swoops down,

And grips it with its pliers.

No more lizard but the blood moves on, 

For the blood is in the land,

The crow doesn’t feel too bad,

With the blood upon his hand.

The waves pass under the sunset,

Every day, without temptation,

Without me wishing for it.

The trees grow where they may,

Without my wish,

For nature is perfect in its ways.

There is no greed among the fish.

If a meal is missed, 

It will be found down the road.

Whoever heard of a starving fish?

The birds find their food easily,

And the crows will even steal,

How can we judge a smart bird?

How I would love to be a bird,

Or a lion millennia ago.

Or a T-Rex. 

No conception of right or wrong.

Just instinct. 

Animals are always perfectly in tune,

But they can’t conceive beyond,

What they see in front of their faces.

A serious evolution occurred,

When our ancestors ate special food,

Mushrooms, fungus, and cacti.

Made em think maybe there is another way,

Another world.

And the aspiration set in.


The brain grew,

With the sacred brew.

And the plant stew,

Straight from dew.

We rule this beach with an iron fist,

Even though my paw is bent at the wrist.

It’s a miracle to me,

That the sun we see,

And the moon are of the same size,

And yet I know,

It’s just a show,

The moon with its wise disguise.

Could this be the same,

As our current law or game,

Of good and it’s counter evil.

It seems they are balanced,

But we know this is not true.

Just like the moonlight,

That reflects from the sun,

The evil could not exist,

If good’s will was not done.

I carry the injustices of the past, present, and future with me, trying to shift a system that doesn’t want to change.

Walking in the shadowlands,

Boots on my heels.

Where everyone’s a stranger,

Keepin’ their eyes peeled.

I dream of the days that we used to wander,

With no food saved and without blunder.

With no money, with no permanent shelter.

What we carried was less then welter.

It’s easy to see, 

That it’s hell to me,

To live without meaning,

Living for no good reason,

In any damn season,

Is like a werewolf that is fiending. 

And how do I survive?

If I lost the will to strive,

For a dollar for my work and toil?

Surely I’m not broken,

After I was awoken,

I saw no reason to save or plan.

Isn’t there a place for people like me?

Who also just want to be,

With no business to be ran?

Can’t you understand?

Am I just to go to the gallows,

The meanings I see are so shallow,

Maybe I will stay in a cave,

Away from those who want to save.

It’s easy to see that certain powers behind the scenes want another world war to occur. It’s also easy to see that these perps also want a civil war within the USA. The very fact that neither have occurred up to this point is an amazing tribute to the point that humanity has reached. Let this point sink in. No matter how far it seems we have dropped in many regards, we have also risen in others. Evil will not win. God Bless you all. 

My “problem” is that I refuse to do things that I don’t like in order to live what others consider to be a “normal life.” I would rather just do what I like and not live a normal life.

There is another world out there, perhaps in another country, or in another decade, but it’s out there and I won’t stop looking until I have found it. Because I am not made for the current world. Is this another “problem” that I refuse to just roll over and merge with the problem?

There is a difference between being happy and having fun. I rather be happy then just having fun. When I am happy, life is fun. When I’m not, life is no fun and thus I must create fun to be happy.

Was thinking today that governments taking income taxes or taxes from anyone making money is like a mob family just taking a cut “for protection”. There is nearly nowhere left where someone doesn’t take a cut of what you make. The mob and the government just became one. 

Always trying to do something that no one else is doing or has ever done before.

I strive to be flexible like water, going anywhere like the wind, rooted like the earth, and passionate like the flame.  

Where I am at is hard to say exactly… Time almost seems to stop here… Green valleys for days and blue skies beyond sight… Ants marching to and fro constructing whatever they can imagine… Wind chimes sing me to bed at night and wake me up in the morning and the silence besides its melody is absolute. And this is where I’m at.

There was a man,

Walking down the street,

He had to go alone.

He didn’t ask why,

When or where,

knew he had to atone.

Atone for a sin;

That he didn’t know when,

He Committed in a past life,

In an enraged passion,

Which was the fashion,

He wished he hadn’t caused the strife.

What did he do?

To walk all alone?

Down the dirt path,

With no one to go home.

You see he was not sad,

Just walking, dutifully.

Admiring the hills, 

The trees were greenish fruitfully.

What was this sin?

Which caused him,

Pain yet the ability to atone,

Could it be,

That one day, 

He may get to return home?


(maybe add near the end as it relates to love)

I hope that I always consider “great things” as something beyond what I am currently doing. Not that they won’t be great things, but I just won’t consider them as such and will continue to aim for even “greater things” in the future.  The only way to live a great life may be to not consider what we do in the present to be great. Do I feel this way now? I have never purposefully aimed for fame or “greatness” in my life, but more so for great experiences, which I feel I have been blessed with, rather than acquired. If these experiences continue at the same rate they have, or slow down entirely, I will be happy even just for the memories of this life. But do I feel I can stop if I don’t have to? No, but why would I? I feel life is just getting started in many ways. 

I realize that I must have a certain degree of purity ALONG with the knowledge from Jung to really get this story and ball moving. I have seen the effects of both, but not totally combined. Is it possible? Who will I meet? Do “they” exist or are they a product of our imagination? If they don’t, can we ever know for sure? Eventually, the desire for him or her would vanish and so perhaps if they do exist, it is only in a special circumstance that they may meet. If one is certainly going to die soon, why would that temptation come to the other, except to go together which perhaps the other may not like?

Why must I label or limit myself?

I can live in a cave, a shack, or a mansion. Why must I label or limit myself?

I can fast, eat street food, or dine at the finest restaurants. Why must I label or limit myself?

I can write, build, produce, grow, teach, cook, or be idle. Why must I label or limit myself?

I can be silent or speak my mind throughout the day. Why must I label or limit myself?

I can sit, be happy, and learn from a Buddhist, Christian, Jew, Muslim, Hindu, Jain, Daoist, or Atheist. Why must I label or limit myself?

I can be celibate or sexually active when I choose. Why must I label or limit myself?

I can meditate all day, do yoga, or drink and smoke until the sun rises. Why must I label or limit myself?

I have no label and I have no limits. 

Why is this a “bad” thing?

I remember a time where I was ashamed to be from the rural countryside or “Heartland” of America because I was actually in the minority (of my school) and I thought all the “cool people” came from big cities or whatnot. It took time to realize that I was wrong and that a lot of the people who came from these areas were actually quite “ignorant” themselves even though they would claim otherwise. 

Perhaps there has been a “mission” to destroy the rural “Heartland” of America rather than the whole country. Without a doubt, they have come close. I now understand how lucky I was to grow up in the place that I did. A place where respect, morality, and “freedom” are still considered important values.  The “Heartland” will lead us out of this mess if we can just get a little love from the other “half” of Americans and a leader with the balls to “say it like it is” and do what needs to be done, including putting those in jail who deserve it.  

Most of the time, people try to do “what is best” always. Their problem is that what they believe to be best, has been influenced most or not all of their life, by what someone else considers to be best. If someone tends to listen to everyone else, they do what everyone else thinks is best and maybe not what they consider to be best. If someone tends to listen to their own conscience before they “do what is best”, they still may be hampered by what they have learned in this life, which was perhaps influenced by someone “who did not know what was best.”. If someone has broken out of both… Well then, we have true progress.

Is the only way to stop this to have a visible presence?

Or is it possible to see “more” than they can see? To see further?

Or to let it happen? Let people suffer?

Or to be a light that changes all without visibly affecting the events?

Must we always go through the saeculum? Death and rebirth? How long will this go on? Must we always allow beings to learn and rise? To fight back? It seems they are building a world where this won’t be possible.

If this is the case, then it would seem a visible presence is necessary?

Are they doing what they are doing to bring the invisible to the visible?

I think that the term “grown-up” is widely over-used, and is quite elusive in definition. Because our perspective of what it means to be “grown-up” can constantly change in our lives… Perhaps the only way to “grow up” is to have true “grown up’s” around us. If these do not exist in our childhood or our full family, it may be impossible to meet a true “grown-up” later in life.  

I’m happy to live in the greatest country on earth… I do believe that is true. Our capacity and potential for greatness is what makes the USA the greatest… We have a long way to go, but step by step, we can make it. Our diversity of “way of life”, perspective, culture, and race gives us literally the greatest amount of possibilities… 

Make no mistake that there are two ideologies at battle this moment.  One of “freedom” and one of trusting that “someone will take care of you,” (which has never worked in history). 

All the tricks have not played out yet.

Just because the markets are hitting records at the moment, does not mean that it cannot go the other way just as fast. The facade of our country’s (and world’s) economic “prosperity” will not last forever. 

Whatever happens, be ready for anything. Be self-sufficient. Think for yourself and not what other people are telling you.

Continue to have faith in the most high. We can make it out of anything if you do not lose this…

I am against all who believe they are superior to anyone else. I am against men who believe they are superior to women, just as I am against women who believe they are superior to men. I am against whites who believe they are superior to blacks, just as I am against blacks who believe they are superior to whites. I am against heterosexuals who believe they are superior to homosexuals, just as I am against homosexuals who believe they are superior to heterosexuals. I am against adults and elders who believe they are superior to the youth, just as much as I am against the youth who feel they are superior to adults and their elders.  I am against the wealthy who believe they are superior to the poor, just as much as I am against the poor who believe they are superior to the wealthy… 

We are all equal. If you feel that you are superior to anyone, I am against you… We can only truly unify if we consider all to be equal. We are all in this together… Come together and let’s build a better world.

I cherish knowing that my full potential always lies ahead.

I’ve started to think that there is nothing we can do for own happiness in the present moment. Our happiness is a direct cause of past decisions, thus our future happiness depends on the choices of the present moment. Any time that we defer our future happiness by “forcing happiness” upon our present moment we are perhaps not choosing wisely.

Semantically speaking, we are always in the process of wasting our life. The true question then always will be what should we waste our lives on? That may come down to what we believe has meaning. Should we waste our lives on meaningful things or meaningless things?  Is meaning always subjective? Can we waste our lives doing anything without comparison to others?

I used to have a lot of health issues. Pain, recurring sicknesses, eventually I took control of my own life. I explored other methods or alternative methods of self-healing in yoga and meditation. Not saying this works for everyone, but it works for many people and it worked and works for me. How do you know it wouldn’t work for you unless you try? 

It has come to a point that the level of control has metastasized to a truly unhealthy level globally. Government control, religious control, media control, surveillance control, academia control… It has truly gotten out of hand. In essence, the past control mechanisms have just led us to this point, but we are at a point where we can and are breaking free… It truly comes down to the highest echelons of power do not want to see other people succeed or to rise. That is the natural inclination of an ego out of control; to keep one’s ego “safe” without actually any form of progression, they must rig the system so that others cannot rise by their own free will. Only those whom they choose can rise… These are the people that I am against. Furthermore, I am against all forms of control that only serve the status quo and people in power. It is falling and I’m so happy to see it. The human spirit will make it through this time and the world coming will be so incredibly beautiful. I think that is one difference that I highly notice between myself and others like Daniel… He seems to think that it will only lead to chaos, a la he is pessimistic, but I believe we are going in the right direction 100%. Freedom is our collective karmic destiny. Freedom from malevolent control…

My problem is not an over-sized ego, but a lack of ego, which tends to gravitate to excelling in (or even attempting to) making money. No part of me cares about making money so it is difficult for me to do so. The ego builds itself based upon what it considers it owns.

Why must we all strive,

Just to survive?

Just to be happy?

Who is this great stopper of happiness?

For surely we cannot truly die happy unless some sort of universal happiness exists.

Where have our leaders gone?

Who used to be able to see through the disarray?

Who could see through the fog?

Some of us have no care for pieces of paper and yet pieces of paper seem to rule the world.

Surely it is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

I will not adjust.

I try, but I cannot.

Does this make me deficient in Your eyes?

Happiness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

Sometimes I see It and yet it fades away… 

What am I to do?

I know that you have a plan,

And yet what I see becomes uglier as time goes by.

At this moment,





But I know it is always darkest before the dawn.

Bring it Lord… Can’t do it without ya. 


Life without major problems is the greatest wealth indeed. And, in reality, there is no such thing as “problems”, only situations that need to be taken care of. 

To progress down the path towards spiritual liberation, we must slowly remove the ignorance in our lives to reveal the illusion for what it really is. 9/11 was a key event which helped to strengthen the illusion and transform our reality into a constant state of fear. 

Anyways, the truth of this event will eventually see the light of day… Never stop fighting or standing up for justice, no matter what happens…

The first thing I think one must do in life is to find an actual good place or country to live in. If one is aware their country is sick, they should find one that is healthy. If one can afford to find the right one, all the better… the US is very sick and no one seems to want or be able to admit it. I think maybe only those who have extensively traveled outside of the US would fully admit and recognize this. My dream is to find a place that doesn’t seem sick to me and to start a family with ANY job there.

I have no plan.

The layers are falling off one at a time like a cobra who shakes off its skin.

If absolute uncertainty exists, then it would make sense that absolute certainty is possible. 

Once I make it past the gates, no one will know who I am.

It feels great to say “I have no plan.”

No one can force anyone to come.

People love freedom until they see someone doing something they don’t like and they hate it. My love of freedom incorporates not being against what others want to do or how they want to live their lives…

Freedom is also about having the freedom to break the law and get away with it. I’ve been breaking the law more than half my life, smoking weed being one of them, and getting away with it. It has always been against the law, but it is not against God’s law. God’s laws are what we don’t have the freedom to break and get away with.

I must be loyal to the nightmare of my choice.

I don’t understand why dad gets mad at me when I try to explain that I have no interest in making money. I didn’t grow up with either parent with that urge… More like spending money. Dad may have had the urge to create something, but it was never about the urge to make money. Dad must be introspective enough to learn what is holding him back in life. What is the point in stopping your own evolution? What is the point of stagnation? What is the point of merely existing, but not truly living or striving? Your own choices, every day from big to small, affect your evolution. Today is built from the choices of yesterday and the day before. How can you know what is holding you back and what is not if you are not willing to give up certain things? How can you know what may be a better life if you are not willing to step outside your own comfortability?

One must build their potential before they release it.

I have had several incredible friendships and relationships in my life. If I were any other type of person, if I were the type of person who attempted to change myself to make everyone like me (like perhaps I have been in the past), then I would be risking all of the other friendships and relationships that I have already made… And I am not willing to do that. To me, it is not worth it. I rather have true friendships with people who are also truly themselves, rather than some fake friendship where both people are doing their best to be what the other person wants to see… And, most importantly, we don’t have to agree on everything to be friends! Respect is the most important part of friendship… It is not like everyone I consider to be a friend thinks exactly as I do.

One of the things that my spiritual teacher, S.N. Goenka, said that has always stuck with me is this… When starting his course learning about meditation and dharma, at first it may have seemed that what I hated or disliked was 100% outside of me. I tended to think that if only something outside changed, my anger and hatred would go away. Over time I started to realize oh maybe it is 50% outside of me and 50% inside. Or 50% my fault and 50% their fault. Eventually, I came to realize that 100% of what I hated was my own fault in some way… It had nothing to do with what was occurring outside. We use what is happening outside to justify the hatred that is within us all…

If you hate me or dislike me, or whatever it has nothing to do with me, but what is within you… I cannot help it if you don’t like me. In a certain way, those that we do not like are actually doing us a service by showing that we still have hatred or anger within.

I may fail in my ability to write a perfect essay. I may fail in my ability to find the totality of all necessary evidence for a given subject. But I surely will never fail in my ability to find original theories or conceptualize questions worth asking. If I can make that my bedrock, and writing and research come with time, there are no limits and no answers that cannot be found.

For what good is it if someone can write perfectly, research perfectly, but not conceptualize questions actually worth asking? More so, what fun is it? 

Truth has no limit.

History has no limit.

Lies have no limit.

The limits are artificially placed by those who do not want us to look closer. 

When we add another layer to our magnifying glass,

When we sharpen our scalpels,

All those things you thought forgotten will one day come back into the light… 

No one lights a candle and puts it in a place that is hidden, such as under a bowl.

They put it on a stand, so that those who come in may see the light as well.

It’s about to get very bright.

A general assumption of the religious and non-religious alike is that when we die, we can’t take anything with us. This was quite engrained as an assumption throughout most of my life. I’ve noticed that one of the greatest divergences of belief that I have with either group is that I DO believe there is plenty that we take with us as we progress after physical temporal death. To me these are the most important discoveries that we can make; to figure out what in life we can take with us after death. 

I will not get into the specifics at this time of what I believe these “things” are, only that there are multiple and a variety, and I fully live my life “acquiring” or “participating” in “changes” that transcend death. Individually as well as collectively societal-wise. 

I never feel like I am wasting my time, and I am always “doing” something even if on the surface it may seem otherwise. If I were to die tomorrow, I would be extremely satisfied with what I feel I have “acquired” so far in this life, and truly I am the only one (except for the One above) who is fully aware of what I have or have not done or “acquired”.

I feel that as human beings we have a primordial need to see justice being carried out to the unjust, especially when it comes to the elite or people in leadership positions. If one has asked themselves what is wrong in life, or what they were missing, one simple answer could be the lack of justice that we have seen for the majority of our lives. I would argue living in a world absent of true justice is actually quite an anomaly historically-speaking. And yet that is the world that “they” have attempted to build. That’s why it feels so strange. So awkward. This is all about to change. 

The snakes have taken over the henhouse. But have no fear for we all know that if one chops the head off a snake, the snake will always die. The executioner’s ax is fully sharpened. There will be nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. No hole to slither into…

For those concerned with reputation above all else, the death of one’s reputation can be worse, and certainly more “eternal”, than death itself, for one’s reputation transcends death. History has never been kind to the wicked.

Justice is coming.

My foxhole can never be overrun, anywhere on this earth, for I am connected with Him. I shall not run. I shall not hide. 

I shall never give up. I shall never surrender for I can become an island unto myself when I need to be. No one is my boss and no one has control over me. I will prevail for I can see through the cracks in the system… Sometimes when a force tries to stop us, a force within us of equal or greater strength can gather to overcome the external. Sorry for the vagueness, and the enigmatic-ness of this post! There are many who love me around the world and I know who they are. I seek their love, prayers, and “realness” going forward. This Christmas was what I needed to rejuvenate my spirit, and to see what I needed to do. I am doubling down on the path I have set. I am removing the things holding me back. Nothing more. 

I have been through quite a bit in my life and He has seen it fit to test me and to teach me exactly what I need to know at this moment and for that, all I can say is thank you to the one watching above. Many times it seems it is just Him and I against the threshold; that is fine by me. My foxhole can never be overrun, anywhere on this earth, for I am connected with Him. I shall not run. I shall not hide. 

Sending my love to all of those who know me truly. Know that I will prevail in these trying times! We are only who we believe we can be! I’m aiming higher.

Do not be afraid to be boring.

You say you want to take the hardest path.

The hardest path is the seemingly “boring” one.

You shall have your rewards in time.

Why take the immediate reward when the greater award awaits through strong determination and effort?

It is ok to be boring.

“[i]I imagine one day getting to a point in humanity that there is nothing that we have to do. Only things that we want to do.

I am so lucky to have made it to where I am right now. There is nothing that I feel I have to do, only things that I want to do[/i].”

Now I realize that everyone is not at this stage in their lives, but I do feel that we are ALL on the path to getting to this level. There is no rush to become free of duties or responsibilities. Many times there are things that we have to do to get to a point that there is nothing that must be done, and this is ok.  This is a tangible goal that we can all aim to achieve, collectively and individually… The more that people have a wish to become free of things that must be done, the quicker we can reach there as a whole. Then anything truly becomes possible. 

The world is run by secrets.

The question is can we consciously control what we unconsciously believe to be true? 

I am only trying to make peace. We may be peaceful but are we truly “at peace”? I feel the only way to be at peace is to uncover all the secrets of our past. It’s like a relationship. Two people can be happy and peaceful in a relationship even with secrets, but as long as those secrets are there, are the two truly at ease, at peace? Only once those secrets come out can the two finally be at peace. It is my duty as a historian to uncover these secrets to then bring people to a true state of peace. That’s all I’m doing at the moment and what I’m dedicating myself to do in the future.

I’m taking an indefinite break from social media for a while, as well as curbing or cutting off my “news junkiness” addiction. One day we must all learn to cut off, even perhaps temporarily, what is holding us back from going forward. I feel to focus on reconstructing our past, I must stop being so focused on the events of the present moment, as well as attempting to predict our potential future… To go forward, I must go backwards into history. To me, nothing is off-limits. I’m in the search for “our story.”

What to do when there is nothing I feel like doing?

How can I express how I feel?

Like a man completing a long journey,

Breaking free from his cage again.

What can someone do to a man who wants nothing,

Who supports no specific way,

Who is only looking for reality,

Who is only looking for his family?

Where have they gone?

What will happen when no one is in control?

Will we rip each other to shreds or put each other together?

Don’t believe the propaganda that we cannot rule ourselves,

For this is the great lie of our time.

I have seen things you can’t possibly imagine,

This is my neutral ground,

My stomping ground,

And building ground,

From where I was created.

I go flutter away,

Not fiscally, but butterfly-ily.

Into the distant horizon,

Hop on a plane,

Sometimes it is insane,

Only because I asked God to show me his reign.

I try to accept,

I try to not care,

But it is difficult when I disagree,

From here to there.

What can I do?

When I am so uncertain?

The color of a curtain.

Who are you to trap us here?

How can you get out of a prison that you cannot see?

This cannot be the only existence,

Misery is still misery even if not identified as such. Some people are miserable their whole lives and are not even aware that a non-miserable state exists. This must change.

My greatest fear is someone coming to me in ten, twenty, or thirty years down the line and saying, “You haven’t changed a bit!” Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Doesn’t matter. Change is ALWAYS good. A lack of change or the possibility to change (to me) is worse than death. 

To change is to evolve.

It is so easy to take for granted the knowledge, and the access to knowledge, that we currently have in today’s existence. I find it atrocious that some of the largest and most powerful countries in the world fully censor and “hide” certain information to its citizenry. It is easy to imagine this censorship spreading as the might and power of these countries also spread. We must do all that we can to not allow this to take place. Knowledge is power and those that block knowledge block what I would consider to be a true fundamental human right. 

Death does not scare me. My death, nor the death of others. What scares me the most is getting to a point in humanity where it is no longer possible to “break free.” Permanent enslavement. This is always the penultimate goal of the evil that lurks underneath. This “evil” (for lack of a better term) has done it’s best to ensure that even if it is metaphysically doomed, it will physically guarantee its survival and ability to thrive in the long run. It must be cut off at the root, which is essentially ignorance. Whether this evil is “of” our world or not is a question that perhaps can never be answered. But, some men and women have always dedicated their lives to fighting in this war. We are just the newest generation to do so. Keep up the fight. 

People who talk about privilege don’t understand that it is also a privilege to start from scratch. 

It must be a great feeling to know that one rose from the bottom. A feeling that can not be experienced by one from a higher class, except if one believes in reincarnation and karma. It must be a great feeling to feel so free, to not have expectations, nor footsteps to follow in any one path. It must be a great feeling to not have one or many looking over one’s shoulder, constantly in judgment. It must be a great feeling to not be judged for what one’s last name may be.

The elite are the ones who broke out of the situation they were born into, rich or poor.

One day people may call me a great man. Not because I wish to be a great man, but because I never faltered in my convictions. 

Most people might not know it, but in the end, we all want someone who has the ability to make us suffer; who has the ability to break our hearts. If we always meet people who cannot do this, we will never have any “skin in the game.”

It’s sad to me that the path or road to fame has become the natural choice of people in recent years. People don’t have the objective ability to stop and think if that is something they really want. It is “oh of course” that is what I want because that is what everyone else wants. 

I am the battering ram of individualism that will break down the encroaching wall of collectivism. I will shatter it into the wind. And it will never return.

Ultimately it seems pretty easy for me to see a war being waged between the “hidden” Christian Zionist/Judaism empire versus that of the “overt” Liberal/groupthink/socialists/China empire. Are these the only two major powers in the world? Will both destroy each other in the process? 

There are not only two powers in this world. There are two powers that are vying for control of the United States. This is different. Thus there is a third power, the individuals that reside as Americans within the United States. There is the “covert” empire of Judaism/Christian Zionism/(one could even say religion as a whole) versus the “overt” empire of socialism/groupthink/liberalism/China. The middle man is the individual him or herself. The United States is the foundation and the country of individuals. Both empires exert their influences to sway the individuals to their sides. Thus the true warrior must fend off both empires while fighting for the law, the country, and the right of the individual him or herself. The tech sector is aligned with both of these empires in different ways. This is the battle being waged. 

I have already put my foot into the sand against the “covert” empire. Now it is my time to put my foot in the sand against the “overt” empire. Once I have done this, I will begin the outward push against both. And DC will be my stomping grounds. That is the battle that I see for myself.

To me, life at the end of the day is just about finding what is worth doing and doing it. But taking this further, we must figure out what is stopping us from doing what we feel is worth doing and removing it from our lives.

I have been reading and writing so much recently. I think because I have been sober from all my drinking, smoking, and meat for over a month now. I have realized that pretty much everything that I know now comes from people in the past who exerted great effort to distill and send what they learned into the future through books, movies, etc. for people like me to read and understand. Thus it is up to people in the present moment to continue this distillation and “pushing it further” down the line for future generations. 

What would you say if someone worried about your past mental illness?

Mental illness is like poison. If one has become mentally ill and overcome it, then the chance or likelihood for that person to become mentally ill again is lessened to the point that one can become immune to mental illness. There are overall reasons, some that are brought on by “things” that we have no control over and some that are brought upon by “things” that we do have control of but perhaps are unaware of at the time of that “choice”. For the one who is constantly battling with mental illness, a major prerequisite to becoming immune to mental illness is to be vigilant to the causes of mental illness that oftentimes can only be known in hindsight. 

Furthermore and lastly, the person who has become immune to this mental illness will ultimately be much better off and more stable than the one who has not become immune. Over and over throughout the world’s history, men who perhaps would have been great leaders have been overtaken by mental illness, usually after acquiring a certain amount of power or even absolute power, which then went on to cause great destruction for their citizens and neighbors. Thus a prerequisite for true leadership one could say is to become immune to this mental illness. Furthermore, mental illness itself, it could be argued, is brought upon by “evil” itself in order to drive the one man who attempts to overcome it or the “evil” of the world. 

The only way to make a real change is to inject oneself into the public domain. If one is strong enough, it doesn’t matter what one has done in the past, nor who his enemies are, nor is their bad press. The decision must be made to inject oneself into the public domain and after that, the cards will fall where they may.  We have to choose the right time to do so though. 

If I could choose between being a little nutty in my youth and being stable and clear-minded as I get older or visa versa I would gladly choose the former.

The tears streamed all day. What could he do, but feel pity for those who watched him? What could he do, but cry for their lack of souls? How had the world become such a monstrosity? Did it happen when he was asleep? How can people live with themselves in this day and age? What is the year?

One once told me that the only thing that could not reconcile a relationship was disgust and that they could never be with their ex again because they were by his or her actions. If disgust is the one thing that cannot be overcome, how does one expect another to overcome it? By magic? How does one think that I feel? How does one think it is possible for me to overcome when I too feel disgust?

Sometimes to be a hero,

We don’t have to be anyone special,

Anyone other than who we already are.

A hero can be a farmer.

A businessman.

A teacher.


How can we feel heroic in our lives,

If we never learn how to live?

Can heroism be our aim,

If the system of control’s aim is to remove our sight?

We can all be heroes in our day to day life…

But there may come a new time,

Where heroes will be openly seen again.

What will it look like?

Date approximately March 2018

    He approached the embassy in Tel Aviv that was under renovation with calmness. He had something urgent to do. What was going to happen? How bad could it be? The line to enter the side of the embassy was hundreds of feet long. Probably all Israelis trying to get US visas. This embassy would not be here in a few months from now as President Trump had just declared that Jerusalem would be the new capital and that the US embassy would move with it. He didn’t have time to wait in that long of a line.

    With his passport in hand, he waited for the door to open and close that would allow people to enter and go through a metal detector. There had to have been at least ten initial Israeli guards at the entrance to the embassy. Why wasn’t there U.S. troops or citizens protecting what was technically U.S. land? As the door opened, the main guard had his back turned and he made a dash for the entrance, passport raised. Immediately upon entering he was ambushed by at least 15 guards, throwing him on the ground, holding his body down with a foot on his head. “I’m an American citizen!” he desperately yelled. They went through his pockets and found his wallet. They asked him if he was going to continue to be a problem and he said no. Eventually, the men carried him outside of the embassy, past the long line and behind a wall that was away from the embassy. There had to have been at least 30 or 40 guards at this point, all with weapons and many with full body armor and large semi-automatic weapons.

    “Why did you do this?” They repeatedly asked.“ I only wanted to speak to an American citizen.” Rummaging through his wallet they found his student I.D. To the University of Tel Aviv. “Are you a student here?” He replied in the affirmative. “Have you been taking any medication or drugs?” “No, not at all.”

    Eventually, three American workers of the embassy came out to speak with the man. He could tell by there accents that they were from the US. “What happened?”, they asked. “I just wanted to speak to an American citizen.”

    Eventually, after he calmed down, they gave him back his wallet and passport and he walked away.

Two – Date approximately March 2019

It was a day like any other except Winter Park’s Park Avenue had been the scene of another “crazy” event in his life approximately twelve years earlier. 

He knew they were watching him as he could feel it. After three days checked into the Park Ave Hotel, he knew he had to escape somehow as they were close. The balcony wrapped around the entire hotel and was interconnected to where one could walk around if needed. This was the only way out.

Passing plant by plant he walked around the balconies until he reached a place that he could not go any further. Almost parkour-like, he jumped the balcony rim, shimmied across a pipe, down onto a lower roof, and eventually onto the ground. A man was using some sort of device that looked like a survey tool that was aimed directly at the wall. He yelled at the running man and asked what he was doing. Who was this supposed surveyor? He crossed the side street and went past the rose garden towards the train stop in Park Ave’s park area. He had only his truck key and his hotel key, but not identification. 

As he approached the train stop, he thought it might be a good idea to bury those keys on the side of one of the ramp entrances to the station. As he began to walk inside the station, he knew he was going to jump one of these trains, but which one? Would he go North or South? That is exactly when around four fully body armored Department of Homeland Security men showed up on all corners. What were they here for? For him or something else? Why would the DHS show up randomly to a calm little train station in the middle of Winter Park, Florida? Were they there for him? Of course they were. 

He acted calm and he was not even remotely scared of the men and did not make them think that he was aware of their presence. The DHS could not just randomly handcuff or take a man for doing nothing wrong. The train approached. Either he could go back to the hotel and act like nothing had happened or he could jump on the train even though he had no money and no ticket. The ticket operator was collecting tickets from oncoming passengers. He made sure to see when the operator was looking down and went for it, jumping into the train entrance and up into the cabin. Immediately he went for the bathroom and locked the door. This was an old trick he had learned in Israel when jumping trains from the North to Tel Aviv. He laid down on the floor and waited, like a man in an escape pod heading for who knows where. Should he stay or should he jump back off he thought? Finally, he decided to jump back off. This is when the DHS started to come after him. The man walked down the train tracks before the men could catch him. He started to run and the men were far behind.

He was approximately one hundred yards in front of the train when it began to take off. For some reason, he decided to stand on the middle of the tracks and walk towards the train as it was coming towards him. He reached out his hand as if he meant to say stop. The train immediately hit its breaks and the man continued to walk towards the train. The train operator jumped out and yelled at the police and DHS that someone was on the train tracks.

“I believe there is something wrong with this train, like a bomb or something,” the man said to the train operator. 

To be continued….

Both of these events are on video record. Will be hilarious one day to go back and watch them. In both cases, I was tackled by tons of police. In both cases, I was doing nothing wrong. In the first case, since I was doing nothing wrong, I was immediately released. In the second, they tried to put me away but failed, as once again, I was doing nothing wrong. 

I believe they “push” people to have these sorts of “episodes” in various forms. They try to stay behind the shadows. The second story was my “unconscious” way of getting them to expose themselves. Before then, “they” did not have a face. Now they do. I could never have consciously planned that. It was by God that it happened. My goal is to dismantle all networks of spies or police that purposefully “push” any individual into that sort of mindset or episode. I will not rest until they are all truly scattered to the winds. I may take a break, but there shall never be any rest. So God help me.

The resurrection can be seen on a metaphorical level in that every man and woman has the ability to resurrect spiritually and metaphysically. To survive and to thrive. To live on…

I take pride in being proud.

Something I have been thinking about is that everyone these days, if they use social media, are their own news aggregators for others to read if readers choose to do so. Facebook, Twitter, etc. are just apps that allow every individual to aggregate news and spread it at whim. It is not the problem that the corporations have wittingly allowed individuals to become this, it is that these companies have lost the ability to control what the people say, do, or think. Everyone must eventually learn to sift and read through the news with an objective perspective because of the huge amount of news aggregates naturally forming. Like a mass aggregate society. This in actuality gives us the best chance at coming to an objective agreement overtime for what is best for society. For libertarians and non-interventionists and objectivists, such as myself, this is a wonderful time because the culture war is shifting in our favor. The issue with big tech is that they can see that they are rapidly losing the objective culture war, as their subjective authoritarian viewpoints are being fought against and disproved daily. It is becoming easier to see where we are heading as time goes by, and big tech and big gov KNOW that they are on their way out eventually. They must be objective about what they have become… a force for evil against not only the American citizens but every world citizen. 

I like studying history because we can figure out who in the past “created our world”, from the local to the global scale. If the world is fucked up, it is only because certain people in the past planned it that way. As a historian, it is our job to figure out who to hold capable for the fucked up situations we get ourselves into locally and globally. Who made the decisions to get us here? The perpetrators should (and will) always one day be held accountable, whether they are alive or already dead. That is the historian’s duty. 

If you feel confident that your life is a good one and you live your life fully and morally, it should be your duty to let yourself become known to others, for we live in a time where the best of us are considered the worst of us and are hidden with all fervor by the establishment and powers that be. The fact that some have broken free means that we all can if we put our mind to it. The key is to know when to become known and what for.

Love – Anomallium – Ch. 2

What if I was a policeman, firefighter, wildlife photog, soldier? Would you worry about me every day? Tell me to stay home and “get a safe job”? Put me in your home, and lock me up?

I’m sorry that I can’t be what you want me to be. I’m sorry that your lives are run by fear and mine is run on freedom. You fear loss so much you have not learned how to truly live. Loss of possessions. Loss of family members. Loss of your own life. I have no fear of loss and that is what allows me to live. I know without a shadow of a doubt what happens to me if by chance I would die and this is my absolute and ultimate insurance policy. God protects those who serve in his name with a pure heart. If you say “I’m going to go serve in his name, but I want this or that as well. I want fame or fortune or my family to be proud or whatever, he will not protect you. But if you serve in HIs name with absolute Faith, Trust, and hoping for absolutely nothing in return, he will look out for you.

Only you can truly tell your sincerity or purity of heart. And God can tell. Others can’t. If you tell others “I am doing this purely for God.” and you have even a trace or tinge of ego involved like “This will help my career. This will make people like me. This will get me a book deal.” then you are not 100% doing it with a pure heart. Once again, do whatever you do with a pure heart and you will always be protected.

Remove your fear, especially of me. I could die at any moment. Not just when I am in a ” dangerous” place. What would you do then? Mourn for eternity? I am only happy when helping others. It’s time to step up to the plate and help where it is truly needed.

What happened to people when they died before Jesus came? Did God send them all to hell? For thousands of years before he came? That’s what you believe?

How trapped can one feel,

As one so in love,

Yet set on liberation?

The top goal for the mundane,

And the supermundane,

Unfortunately, can never be the same. 

Oh Lord please grant me wisdom, 

To distinguish what is the right choice

For I’m so lost, do I have to make a decision as tough as this?

Blank Passport

All she ever wanted to do was see the world, yet she had a blank passport.

 All she ever wanted to do was see the world, yet she had a blank passport. 

All she ever wanted to do was see the world, yet she had a blank passport. 

All I ever wanted to do was see the world, yet I leave with a blank passport.

She didn’t have the time to though,

All she ever wanted to do was see the world,

Didn’t have the support though,

Aw I’m so happy I can now see the world, yet she leaves with a blank passport.

All she ever wanted to do was see the whole wide world,

different sights and different scenes.

I promise if you come back for just one day,

we will do so many things.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I can’t be what you want me to be,

No desire to gain fame or fortune,

No desire for cars, women, or property,

No desire to build my own family,

No desire to needlessly compete any longer,

No desire to stay or to settle,

It is true I may not be built for this particular paradigm,

But I assure you it won’t last,

And one day…

One day not far from now,

My particular skill-set will be in high demand.

But until then,

I’m sorry I can’t be what you want me to be.

Maybe there is something in me that brings out the best in you and there is something. In you that brings out the best in me?

Write a poem about going back and forth between reaching for the known and unknown. My inability to grab a hold of anything. To be comfortable or to find a comforter.

The Dreaming Traveler

Drifting once again,

Lost in the sea of bore.

How many times have I been here before?

I grasp.

I grasp for life,

I grasp for death.

I grasp for the unknown,

Then the known.

Why can’t I just hold onto something?

That’s all that I want.

A hand to hold onto.

I yearn to be at rest.

I yearn to sleep the good sleep.

I yearn to find what I’m looking for.

How can I find it if I don’t even know it exists?

Why do you make this game so hard?

Why do you make it impossible to win?

Impossible to come to rest?

I prop my head from its slumber.

I look around to see anyone else awake.

I try to find the swimmers,

I try to find the dancers,

The music-makers…

And yet I always eventually find silence.

The shallow water.

The open dance floor.

And so I will go about singing my own song.

Dancing my own dance.

Looking for the flooded waters…

Until one day…

I’ll find the fish or bird that I am seeking.

And that day I will be at rest.

It’s not that I don’t miss you. It’s that I don’t miss anything. Missing something would be craving the past or future. If I were to say I miss you it would just be to make you feel better and not the actual truth.

It’s not that my terms are harsh, it’s just that I know exactly what I want in life.

Beauty shines the brightest in those who don’t worry about how beautiful they are.

It’s a long way down and a long way up,

Trapped on the cliff with no one to hold on to,

No rope and no buckle,

The stone is cold and the sun is blocked by the clouds,

All I want, all I need is a hand,

A hand to give me that little help over the ledge,

How many times have I made it this far,

Who can give me the strength to push further?

Not much more to go now,

Just a little more,

One big rush hearing the word,

Hoist myself to the top,

The clouds clear and the sun warms my face,

And then I ask myself…

Should I stay or should I go?

The search for natural happiness is the search for unpredictability. Predicting we will be happy rarely leads to natural happiness.

Companionship is a precursor to love, love is not a precursor to companionship.

“Love” many times is not so much “love” as it is an addiction. Addiction to someone being addicted to you. The common phrase “true love” can be misinterpreted when two people are addicted to the other being addicted to them. One person “becoming less addicted” can cause the whole “love” to evaporate quickly.  

“Love” is a one-way street. I “love” you exactly how you are and I don’t wish you to change at all. “True love” is when both people love the other exactly as they are… 

They may be addicted in some way but they are not addicted to being addicted to.

I cannot help my heartbreaker-ness. It is never my intention to do so. I cannot help that I tend to fall in love and out of love easily. Do you think that love is something that can be controlled? I wish it were so easy. Knowing my past, what am I to do? Give up on women and love?  

Many times throughout our lives, people are meant for each other; maybe not forever, but for that precise moment. And that is beautiful in itself. Why do people feel compulsions to be around or with certain people and not others? Promiscuity is heavily stigmatized in societies throughout the world. Should it be? Of course, complete sexual promiscuity without any conscious intention can be harmful, but promiscuity in the idea that we are naturally attracted to people we meet on our journeys should not be necessarily looked down upon because there are important reasons for it. There is a mature way to understand and handle our relationships and friendships. If we can totally learn this “art”, how far can we go? This is the “art” that I am studying and would like to begin to explain.

Delusions are important in our lives in that after a delusionary episode, whether big or small, we are less likely in the future to fall into the same delusion again or others that are similar. Nearly always, we do not realize that we are delusionary until after the period has finished, and that is fine as long as we successfully make it into a clear frame of mind from which to view and assimilate new realizations. Once we have made it through enough delusions, we can start to be more aware of when we are actually living in reality and what reality entails. Many may think “reality” being something beyond “this world”, but reality is within this world if we can find it.

I have gone through many transformations within the past seven years or so. Initially, my journey led down the path of volunteer work or “karma yoga” in Nepal. This led me to a further appreciation of “service” to others and the qualities that matter to different religions. After returning to the states, my passion to understand various religions continued and eventually led me down the spiritual path, which can be read about here. Last year I began this blog to document what I had learned and to have an outlet to write in the future. The “new” knowledge that I have learned has sort of taken this to a “higher level” per se, at least in my own regards.

Three months ago, after my last meditation course, I was “presented” with a book written by Carl Jung to study and incorporate into my path. I had bought two Jung books about four months before and read the first Memories, Dreams, and Reflections. The second book, Archetypes of the Collective Unconscious, I began after the Vipassana course on “meta day.” When I started reading it, because of the clarity of my mind at the time, I was able to quickly deduce whether what he was trying to say was correct or not. Within a very short amount of pages, my entire life had changed. I was just able to see my past and present experiences and relationships in a new light and the world made much more sense afterward. Since then, I have applied this information to my life and it has changed once again.

I was immediately able to see my present relationship and past few relationships in this light and I was able to communicate with those individuals and share with them what I had learned. Initially there was confusion or non-belief, but eventually they knew it to be true as well.

The basis is this: The only way that we can evolve or change who we are is by being around other people. Not so far-fetched. But to understand the exact processes that occur, metaphysically, changes everything.

One important aspect of Jung’s “theory” is that it is not a theory at all, but an empirical fact. That anyone can understand and replicate this within their own lives. Even if we are hesitant to believe, it still is always occurring, has always occurred, and will always occur. With this said, the more that people can be aware of this knowledge, the faster “positive” changes can happen within our society at large.

There are many different types of archetypes, but Jung chooses to focus heavily on the anima archetype or anima/anima relationship the most, perhaps because it is quite easy to see in our lives. He states that the meeting of an anima and an animus is fate, but what occurs after the meeting is free will. Anyone that studies philosophy will understand the debate that has occurred since time remembered of whether or not we have free will or predestination. In this metaphysical system, fate and free will co-exist in the present moment. Through our own free will we change who we are fated to meet. Perhaps only through this process can we actually meet the “one” if they do indeed exist. I have written about it a lot in past writings. Finally, this is an easy way to see how both can work within our world.

Why is there a need for these relationships to occur? The reason for these meetings to occur is to create balance within our society, by creating balance within the individual. Balance how? It is important to understand that we can be either an anima or an animus and are throughout our lives to countless individuals. The anima is the representative of the feminine unconscious. The animus is the representative of the masculine consciousness. When these two meet up, the desired “goal” is for both parties to work together to “transmute” the unconscious anima archetype, making it conscious. When this occurs, the person who had an imbalance of femininity becomes more masculine and the person with an imbalance of masculinity becomes more feminine. This is the only way for this “balancing” to occur on a spiritual “internal” level. In actuality, we are not balancing our own energies, we are increasing them both to higher levels gradually. Masculine energy does not necessarily mean “manliness” and feminine energy does not necessarily mean “womanliness.” To me increasing our masculine energy means increasing our ability to “take control” of our lives. Increasing our feminine energy means learning to “let go”. If someone takes control or let’s go for too long, both paths lead to misery. We must learn to “swim” between the two energies. This can only be done through the process of the anima-animus relationship.

Meditation is amazing in the fact that it can help us to become the “best possible version” of who we are at this moment, but it cannot fundamentally change who we are. The anima/animus relationship is actually the way to mold and change who we are and we cannot always “choose” the way that we would like to evolve. This is beneficial to the “grand story” in that we do not know who we will be in the future as we do not know who “fate” has in store for us to meet. In my own journey, there is no way I could have predicted who I would be today one year ago, five years ago, ten years ago, etc. I believe this “path” will continue and there is no way I can predict who I will be in the years to come. Those that wish to “plan” their whole lives, to stay on a “path” or “track” are limiting themselves and their own evolution.

So, occasionally, when a person is “stuck” for too long in their path, whether that be the conscious “in control” path or the unconscious “letting go” path, an individual will be “fatefully” assigned to that person to help them “break free” from their own evolution’s “stuckness”. This occurs every moment of every day for people across the world, whether they are aware of it or not. It is so fundamental and intrinsic to our world that the world could not continue otherwise. Jung goes further and states that this process has been occurring since before time began. Something that is not necessarily important to fully understand at this moment, other than everything that we think we know, our morals, our history, everything has been shaped by this process.

If we can be consciously aware of this process in our day-to-day lives, we can change our own fate, or at least who we will meet in the future. Where will it lead? Who will we meet? The “one”? Does the one actually exist? Because the thought or the experience of the one comes so often, especially as an anima, we must be constantly vigilant to its potential falsehood. The one may just be special in that they allow us to continue meeting new people, except with the stability of a companion to keep us “on track”.

The anima within, at least to me, feels like a “compulsion” to be with a specific person or animus. Overtime, which varies, this compulsion slowly rises and passes away and then all that exists is love. There is no more compulsion, and it is “ok” for both to move on in their respective lives separately. Usually, coming back together feels that the two never separated and the love between the two does not decrease. There is just no longer a “need” to be with that person. There is no more jealousy or anger if that person moves on and usually both people do feel comfortable moving on after a transmutation has occurred. Many times, they can and do stay together. This process occurs whether people are consciously aware of it or not.

I have always noticed that I tend to fall in and out of love quickly and this information explains the reasons I have always been like this. Is it a “bad” thing? Perhaps society may say so, but I see it as a plus to be “successful” in this life and process. Is love something that can be controlled or only accepted when it comes? For me, I merely accept it when it comes in the present and I know that it will always come again in the future.

To me, it is incredible that this is not “common knowledge” at this moment. Perhaps it has been in the past, but just forgotten or not properly acknowledged. When we discover metaphysical empirical facts about our lives that we were at one time unaware of, it can make a major shift in our development and awareness.

In the past, if I met someone I was perhaps different from, or didn’t particularly like, or seemed boring, I might not have given them the time of day. I just didn’t think it was important to focus on them. Now I see the importance of every meeting and every person that I meet. This process allows both individuals to “evolve,” and in doing so it evolves humanity. What is the final evolution? Is there one? I’m not sure, but it is not necessarily important. The journey is the destination.

In the past three months since I began consciously “experimenting” with this knowledge, I feel my life has taken another course. I can now actively see when “fate” intervenes in my life, introducing me to new people. I no longer have to actively seek out new relationships or friendships. They are “sent” to me. I can also now immediately be aware of when I am an anima or animus to another person. I can see their “imbalances” of masculinity or femininity and why I am there in their life. Since I am completely comfortable with my own masculinity or femininity, there is a pretty equal amount of times that I am “chosen” to be either an anima or an animus. I have also got to the point that I can recognize the transformations that are occurring within my own spirit and body, becoming more masculine or feminine after transmutations. These changes inevitably change my own course and who I will meet in the future. My physique has changed in the past three months. Muscles and “sculptedness” are coming to areas that were not “sculpted” in the past, without any type of physical exercise to accompany it.

In essence, this process means that we will never get tired of our lives, for we will never know who we will be in the future. A society of constantly evolving fully aware individuals will be something amazing to witness. We will never get tired or want to go somewhere else like “heaven” or “nirvana.” This is heaven on earth… If one can answer the question of why we are here, and easy answer would be to continually evolve. This process, and understanding it fully, is one of the most fundamental ways of doing so.

We should not be afraid of swimming throughout the world, meeting new people, and realizing why we are meeting them. Embrace this metaphysical “rule to the game”.


You may change who I am but don’t try to change who I am.

Write a song/poem about my travels and the highs and lows of the past two years. Falling in love, but giving it up for the path. Sometimes we have to make hard choices, sometimes we get no choice at all, but when we fall, get back up and cross it all. Cross to the other side, use the raft you know how to use, show the world there is a way, but don’t forget to play… How hard it is to love without being attached. Someone always gets hurt. To go beyond, we must be willing to make the ultimate sacrifices and to give up everything.

(either add here or in eternal)

I feel that one of the worst things that we can do for ourselves is to create a situation in life where we can no longer change. Change is an integral part of our human condition… Just as necessary as air, water, food or love. Our emotions, our desires, which are important to us, all of this will change throughout our lives. Being scared to change or resisting is ultimately futile, in this life or the next. Why not instead embrace the transformation, evolve and see who you become? It is nearly impossible to imagine who we will ultimately be and to reflect on the changes that have occurred in our lives is one of the greatest gifts that we have 🙂

Staying in the shallow water is fine and dandy, but only after we learn to wade and swim in the depths can we find the pearls waiting to be discovered…

It’s not about who we know or meet, it is about how high the quality of our meetings are…  

The people who influence us earlier in life seem to hold a greater influence on our current futures. Starting with our parents, then teachers, and eventually friends and colleagues. These influences growing up seem almost exponential. Those that we meet today, we may feel the same about in the future.

(add near Jung)

It is not always easy to be around one who does not love the world, and yet maybe the only way for them to learn is for one who does love the world to be around them.

My relationships with women have been based upon one main tenet the past however many years; I will stay with a woman as long as I am more happy with her than I am alone. I do not know why I abide by this rule, only that I have noticed it true and now tend to live by it. 

Perhaps one could say there are blessings an curses for one who lives purely in the present moment. It plays a part in many ways. Right now is always the most important time to me. How can I be so sure of the rewards of “investing” in a relationship, if I lose the happiness of my present moment; even more so with how high divorce rates are these days… 

I do not see myself changing this rule anytime soon; for that would mean I would have to sacrifice my own happiness, either before or during the relationship. I do however believe there are special women out there who can and will hold my interest and happiness for more than a short time and by God, there must be at least one who could do it my whole life. Now if I could only find her and she would have me… I will gladly risk singleness and lifelong bachelorhood just to give myself a chance to find this woman. That’s how much I believe in “the one.”

Let this world be a comedy.

Add that it’s important for respect to exist between the masculine and masculine and visa versa. Only by showing a deeper example can the transmutation occur. I feel I can be as masculine as anyone and feminine as well. This is my own peculiarity.

Love is not a constant, it’s an ever-renewing source. We just have to be patient and it will fill again.

The energy of a special person is worth flying around the world to be with even for a single day… 

Swag is just controlled ego.

The only time that we get stronger is when we continue to work when we are tired. So be happy when you are tired.

It is written

It is written, man,

Turn down the war,

In el-Violence-Stan,

Like we bitten, man,

Poisoned by that peace gland.

Who gonna stop the movement?

Can see the improvement.

Now the balls rollin’,

Can’t stop that groovement.

The evil has already folded,

Good is here to stay.

It is written, man,

What I have to say.

Just wake up,

Give in to the illusion.

It is written,

And you can’t stop delusion.

Can’t stop delusion,

But you can break free,

Believe in me,

The sweet, sweet, sweet is

Coming once again.

The wine doesn’t work anymore,

Why can’t I close that door?

It’s can always be this way,

We must try to do it away.

In the end we all go to the same place,

Another lesson to embrace.

The complexity is complete,

Back to where we started last week.

Whenever you and me

Whenever you and me.

Whenever you and me.

Be, we be, completely, free. 

Ohh you know,

Ooohh you know…

Oohh u know…

Back in the day,

We danced the night away…

We got to mess and mess,

With nothing but the best.

We danced that night away,

We danced that night away,

We danced that night away.

Traveling across the road, 

longer and longer,

The night never ends,

Though the light gets stronger.

We Just have fate,

To watch the creation pass by,

Lets set a date,

To watch that time fly by.

What if I were to join the Marines and was sent off to war? What would you do? Would you constantly worry and ruin your own lives with worry or would you relax and let me live my life? Would you say “Oh no, send him home!” The case is that I’m not in the Marines, nor am I an aggressive “fighting” type person. I’m a pacifist. If anything I would stay to help out the wounded, but there would be no reason for someone to have a reason to want to kill me. So please just chill out!

It’s like if two hardworking people live together it helps both out. One sees the other working hard and it drives the other to work hard. If two lazy people live together, it makes them both lazier as they see each other being lazy and don’t feel compelled to change.

It is the duty of both sexual partners to be in such health to excite the other physically. When there is excitement in looks, there is never a time of impotence. Where there is no excitement in looks, there is are problems.

I look at every single person as a unique piece of art, externally and internally, constantly changing and evolving. Every being is one of a kind. Some art takes a long time to produce. Many lives, many years. I’m just an observer. 

I may not be exactly what everyone wants, but I may be exactly what someone wants.

Is all anyone really wants is to be seen as an equal. Not treated as an equal. Seen. Anyone can treat another as an equal. Not everyone can fully “see” us as equals. 

“Seeing each other as equals” has nothing to do with observing external qualities. It has to do with recognizing beings within. Even if we might be in different stages of evolution, ultimately the beings within all of us are of equal importance and quality.

Seeing each other as equals is the basis or foundation from which we create bonds. Tangible, metaphysical bonds. Once these bonds are formed, they last for “eternity” in the full sense of the word. Ego between the bonded will never arise again. Competition, in a negative sense, will not rise again. The bonded are always “in the flow.” The greatest times are to be had between multiple “inter-bonded” people… And the “wealthiest” people in the world are those who have created the most bonds, who have developed the ability to “see” others, regardless of gender, race, or class, as equals. 

The best families are the ones where the members see each other as equals, with no feelings of superiority anywhere. The best businesses are the ones where the owners or bosses see their employees as equals. Not as lesser than in any way. The best teachers are the ones who see their students as equals. As beings who want to learn and have ambition.

And the list goes on and on. 

Being better families, being better bosses, being better teachers, and being better people starts with practicing seeing others as equals… Don’t stop… 

It’s one thing to have mental issues and still be a genuinely nice and good person.

Totally another to have issues and be maleficent, evil, vindictive, manipulative, etc.

We can only help someone so much. In the end, that person must help themselves.

One of the hardest things to do is to tell someone that you never want to see them again, mean it, and stick to it. It’s not necessarily for you, it is for them. If one says they honestly care about you and your opinion, then completely removing them from your life can perhaps teach some sort of lesson.

In the end, a major “breakdown” can be beneficial to a completely lost or “psychotic” person. Better for it to go fast than drag on for an entire life.

There is no reason to say “I love you.” If you love me truly, I will know it. If I love you truly, you will know it. If I don’t love you…

I have to say this to Angela. We think differently. It does not make either you or I better. We just do. You, like many people, focus on the here and now. Spiritually I am the same way. But, what differentiates me from most people is I think VERY far down the road. I do not just live for myself or my own happiness, but for all people now and in the future. I take steps to help those in the future. Since I believe in reincarnation I am in essence doing all that I can to help myself as well as you, your children and all of your descendants in the future. You may never believe I have this power. And that is ok. It is not important for you to believe me. The steps I take may never make sense to you. You may think that I am giving up my present moment happiness for a pipe dream. That is ok. I am and have been on a path for my entire life. I have built my life to be the way that it is. I have asked God to lead me in the direction that he wants me to go. I have incorporated certain tools into my life to allow me to do the things that I do. To give up now, to stop on this path would be the greatest betrayal to myself, to the world’s population now and in the future. I MUST try to stop things from occurring that can have the gravest consequences. Death does not scare me. My death, nor the death of others. What scares me the most is getting to a point in humanity where it is no longer possible to break free. Permanent enslavement. This is always the ultimate goal of the evil that lurks underneath. Whether this evil is “of” our world or not is a question that cannot be answered. But, some men and women have always dedicated their lives to fighting this evil. I am just of the newest generation to do so.

It does not make a difference if I am not recognized for my efforts. All my life I have fought to not be recognized. It is what gives me strength, anonymousness. I am a self-trained metaphysician. I can diagnose problems immediately in the past, present, and future. I can take steps to cure these issues in my day-to-day life as well as planning ahead. I have been given so much to do this specific purpose. Whereas others do not see the big problems, I see them clearly. All people want to do what is right. The problem is that so many people do not know what that is. They are led to their idea of what is right by people in the past who were misguided from the beginning. It is not their actual fault. It is the fault of people like me who had an idea or who knew what was right and yet did not stand up or stopped their own paths. I will not go down this route. I will continue on, pushing and fighting for the liberation of all that are enslaved. We are on the cusp of reaching a point that cannot be turned around. I will fight until my last breath to stop this from occurring. If I die and am reborn I hope that I come to the same understanding that I am at now. It is my only wish. I cannot just settle and be happy in the present moment if I see myself suffering or the world suffering in the future.

The evil has done it’s best to ensure that even if it is metaphysically doomed, it will physically guarantee its survival and ability to thrive. It must be cut at the root. 

There are certain countries and ideologies that are purely from the root of evil. It hides so well but does not mean well. It has the correct intention but the incorrect means from which to achieve it. This comes purely from a lack of understanding of metaphysics. 

I ask you, Angela, to trust in me. I ask that you put on hold your desires for the present moment. I promise you if you trust in me and allow me to do what I must that I will always be there for you and with you. I need your strength and your stability in my path. I ask that you join your path with mine. You are not just another one of my loves, but perhaps the love of my life. If you cannot do the things that I ask, I will not be upset with you. I will always love you and hope that you find what you are looking for or who you are looking for. If it is me than wonderful. If not then I understand. 

All my life my mother helped me to heal my wounds and conceal my scars.

Have to make her understand it is not easy for me, even if I don’t make it look hard. She loved me when I needed love the most. When I needed someone to rely on to help me out of my situation. She showed me that if I couldn’t be happy with her there I couldn’t be happy with anyone there. And I will never forget her for that. Many women have helped me on my path. I wish I could be different and repay her in every way that she wants. I have to give up so many loves in my life. I wish I knew why.

Even tears of sadness are ultimately tears of joy, for they show that you can still feel something.

Everyone has something different that they want. For older people who perhaps do not know exactly what they want, I would suggest that they perhaps want someone to carry their legacy or their family and ancestors legacies. I would say to my grandparents that this has been something they have tried to do even without being fully cognizant of it. By investing in their children and grandchildren through trusts, they are in essence attempting to guarantee their own legacies. I would like to ask them if they think that their children or grandchildren have the ability to do this. And if so whom? Everything that I have done is to also guarantee their legacy and my ancestors’ legacies. For without them, I would not have the ability to do what I do. If that is indeed what they want, then they should help me further in the path that I believe best to guarantee their legacies. 

For too long, many members of this family have gotten away with wronging other members of the family with impunity. Many members of this family supposedly believe they can do no wrong and that they don’t have to live with the results of their actions if those results are not to their liking. Well, this is the time that a member puts its foot down and says no more. I refuse to play my part or role at fake “kumbayaya” family gatherings. If even one family member has anything against me enough to attempt to slander me or to talk behind my back or to downright spread lies against me, then I will take my cue and politely stay away from said fake or false family gatherings. Many members of this family it seems have no clue, nor should they be given any credit for, what family values actually are. Thus, when a time comes such as this, a split occurs. A new family structure arises to supersede the old false and fake family structure. The great “I bid you adieu-ness.”

There is a difference between when one is completely wrong and completely unrepentantly wrong. When one becomes unrepentantly wrong, we should just wash our hands and walk away. And not return until another learns repentance. It is forcing someone to live in the shame of their unrepentant actions. 

One must ask themselves am I unrepentantly right or wrong? The truth will always outshine the false when we talk about repentance.

When they finally realize they have been unrepentantly wrong, they will finally realize their foundations have been wrong from the beginning. It has not been me that has been wrong during this time. I have been wronged.

It is one thing to act from a standing of true love for a person and another to act from a standing of hatred. 

At the end of the day, it is easy to distinguish between those who truly care for us and those who just say they care for us. Certain members like to believe that they care for people when they only care about themselves. It is easy to know the difference. If Papa truly asked himself and answered honestly I’d bet that he would say I am one of the only family members who truly cares for him. And that’s why certain members of the family dislike me. By showing what it truly means to care for someone, they can no longer get away with faking it any longer. They can either change the way that they care about someone, or they can attempt to take out the one who is truly caring and continue with their selfish uncaring ways. It’s sad really, but they will not change. They will continue to “act” like they care when everyone knows it’s not true.

If I didn’t look bad some days, I wouldn’t have the ability to “look good” other days. Your “look range” defines your beauty. When you look good it means you have made an effort. An effort is half the battle. Being effortless is the other half.

In a way, although unconscious, by the actions of my aunt, grandma, and stepmom, I was given “separation” and “freedom”. By making me feel no longer welcome, I no longer can say that I didn’t try with my family fully. They are the ones who unconsciously pushed me away and gave me these things.

For those that are untamed,

We are always looking for one that can tame us.

If they can tame us,

They are worthy of every passion and consideration.

If only love can tame us,

Then only the greatest lover can bring us to heel.

To stop,

To enjoy,

To live and to spread,

Not progeny,

But culture.

Beating like a heart into the hearts of others.


And across the world.

What is a man who cannot create culture?

For those who merely replicate culture,

But do so and do so profitably,

What is your profit if nothing you do changes anything?

That moment showed the breadth and depth of my knowledge in all regards, politically, religiously, the inner workings of all major countries.

I think I came to a higher realization in the shower. It was that my highest focus is human development. It guides every action and decision I make whether I am consciously aware of it or not. I think we share that in common and you feel it from me. It is a natural feeling that we both came to in our own ways.

Freestyle interests me in that as someone becomes interested in human development many benefits come from combining the two. Someone who is beginning their human development and  freestyle abilities simultaneously are at an advantage as they can see “who they are” and how they are changing based upon what they speak about during freestyles, as freestyles is about connecting to that deeper source of who you are or what you think about in a raw way. As we change internally through our own evolution and development, the style, rhythm, and most importantly lyrics, will change as time goes by. If you meet a freestyler for the first time, you can get a good image of who they are based upon what they naturally say without prior contemplation.

Whoever is in our lives, in the present moment and going forward, gives us the strength to do things or plan things that we could not otherwise do on our own. That is the value and power of companionship in the struggle and pursuit of life. Thus, make close relations amongst family and friends first, then make plans. Otherwise, it is difficult or impossible to reach our own full potentials individually and collectively.

The Eternal Show – The Anomallium – Ch. 3

Oh, how horrible it feels to be enslaved, enslaved by a constant tug in your mind. Not able to do something new without it tugging you back to the old. You try to stay aware and yet your addictions, whether slight or deep, pulls you back and says “what the heck do you think you’re doing.” And you say, “Oh sorry, I was just trying something new Mr. Craving.” And your addiction says “Why would you want to try that when you have me at home on the couch?” And you say, ” Yeah you are right.” 

On the other hand, what an amazing feeling it is to be truly free. Free of all unnecessary temporary external happiness and addictions.

Give up the temporary. Look for until you find the real. And when you do grasp on and don’t let go until it drags you across the finish line.

Consider none the lesser,

Consider none the greater.

Know how important you are,

connected to all fellows in more than a physical sense. 

We are all truly in this together.

Anyone who has ever changed in their life, 

Either from “good” to “bad” or “bad” to “good”,

Has it been them who changed or has it been the voice in your head that has changed?

It’s your goal to find how, how does this “voice” change? From day to day, month to month, and year to year. It is changing for the good or bad?

Planned or not, 

Look forward to the expected and unexpected in your life.

Life always going to plan is rare and yet if accomplished somewhat boring. 

Who made these plans anyways?

What a conundrum that the highest goal in the material path is such an obstacle for the highest goals in the spiritual path. It surely was designed this way. True eternal love can never be found in an external source, yet that is the only place most people think to look.

The goal seems to be to learn “How to live”, 

but in actuality, it is “How to die”, for this is the mystery that has escaped you for so long.

Oh what a blessed Truth it is to know,

that not a single Being will be left behind.

What a depressing message it is to say some will, 

As if He would want some looking down and laughing at those who couldn’t climb His steep wall. 

And yet this is what pride does in this world,

Some will think, “I’m sorry they didn’t make it, but oh well at least I did.”

Remove this unholy pride which judges those who seem lost,

it could very well be the other way around.

For the journey, the gift of eternal life is true before, during, and after.

No one is lost.

Take self-righteousness and toss it in the fire.

Categorizing and labeling anyone as an opposite won’t do any good,

for all Beings are brethren in the All.

The Spirit is already inside.

Now find it.

Our consciousness expresses what The Awareness wants to say. The purer the awareness, the purer the consciousness. Our awareness is all the same and our consciousnesses are unique until they aren’t. 

Find the goal of the soul and work non-stop until fulfillment. 

Maybe the universe was designed in the “what happens if I add this?” approach. Could see the end before it was built and waited to get the right ending. Maybe no matter what or how it started it would happen?

There is nothing in the world worth It.

No car, no house, no person, worth It.

No money, no gold, no lifestyle, worth It.

There is no “thing” in this world worth It. 

See what “things,” you think are worth It,

And lose your attachment for them.

Learn to like what you dislike,

and dislike what you like. 

For it will totally be worth it.

Be aware that you are aware.

Take control of the wandering mind,

Like a lion tamer cornered in a cage,

crack the whip and say “halt”.

For it will totally be worth It.

When it all comes tumbling down,

The biggest structures will fall first,

The federal will fall into states,

The states will fall into cities,

The cities will fall into villages,

The villages will fall into families,

The families will fall into individuals.

The reverse process of how it all came to be.

For all things that arise,

must eventually pass away.

Financial or environmental,

Which one will start the crumble?

One will come before the other,

Then we’ll start the real tumble.

Once the wounds begin to heal, 

We shall see a new,

blessed Way of life,

Holy through and through.

It can’t stop,

And it won’t stop,

So just let it come down.

Accept and forgive.

Accept that all things that arise,

Must eventually just pass away, 

As is the law of nature.

Let the pillar go into the cocoon,

For once the shell bursts,

The beauty will be radiant.

The only thing that we can truly be aware of is the present moment. The now. It is the universal constant that connects us all together. Our pasts and futures may all be separate or different. Our environments, our friends and families, our bodies may all be separate. But the one thing that we all share is the present moment.

In the trying times ahead, the person of true faith will be protected, purely for the reason to spread their faith to others. Regardless of your religious or spiritual beliefs, you can still be a person of true faith by constantly being aware or believing that “everything is going to be alright” in this life and after this life. Do not let doubt creep in at any moment. Even if you or someone you know is injured, keep your faith and do not let doubt overtake you. What reason is there for someone with doubt to be protected, when all they do is spread doubt to others which will do no good.

Faith leads to hope, which leads to courage, which leads to love and kindness for others, even strangers.

Doubt leads to fear, which leads to anger, which leads to aggression and hatred towards others, even strangers. 

There will be plenty of people who are supposedly “religious” or “spiritual” but will be full of doubt. 

There will be plenty of people who are not “religious” or “spiritual”, yet will be full of faith that “all will be well.”

Those that keep the faith will be stronger than those that will be full of doubt.

Because in the end, no matter what, all will be well. Have faith.

When we conceptualize and contemplate the world we are finding out truths that are previously unknown to the world. There is no creator but the world and the future and why we are here and what the reason for us being here is in the process of being found out.

What if the world worked that no matter what this moment was always the best possible outcome of all the choices ever made? Since we are accustomed to viewing things subjectively and from only our current life’s perspective, it just seems that it could be better but actually this is as good as it gets at this moment. In the near to mid-future, this will be apparent for all. We will witness this truth of how it is always the best possible moment and is always perfect in every way. I mean a transformation so great that even relatively speaking it is becoming better in every way. Before then it “seemed” like ups and downs but soon it will only go up up up. There will be no more such thing as digress, but only constant progress on all levels for every single human individual. This is what we have been building up to. We had to go through these “pains” of birthing the perfect world in order to have a full understanding of good and evil, happiness and sadness. The saints and enlightened beings of the past could see the “whole” picture, calculating all future possibilities instantly, and always making the best possible decision on what to do in there own respective roles. Most think this is impossible but that is just their own limited thinking. Some enlightened beings were to be teachers, while others were just to sit in a cave etc. We non-Enlightened view the two paths differently because we say one was more important than the other whereas both were always making the best decision possible. If the global transformation of society would have happened say 2,000 years ago we would not have reached the level of materialism to span the globe, to build any and everything that our minds could imagine. We are at that level now. The time is ready. The time is set. Get ready to witness what we are all here for. The world is always the best possible outcome. You will see what I am saying sooner then you think. This will be happening “eternally” and has been happening “eternally” for a literal unknown amount of time. The world is always perfect and could not be better because it is not just physical or as it seems, but is constantly evolving based on factors that can only be grasped experientially. So exciting to be here and thank you to all of you who have made this possible and in saying this I mean every single sentient being out there.

Do you think the caterpillar once it enters the cocoon tries to change into a butterfly or does it just leave it to nature to take care of the process? It doesn’t try to do anything. Find this within yourself. The fine balance between trying too hard and not trying at all, until you enter your own respective cocoon and there will be no more trying, but just guiding along and natural transformation. 

The seed of change is already inherent in the caterpillar just as it is with us all. Whether you learn to go with your internal flow or try to resist it, it will not matter in the end. Just like a caterpillar trying to resist becoming a butterfly, your resistance will ultimately be futile and always brings you misery.

To strive is to yearn. To strive is to try too hard. Trying too hard is unhappiness with the current way of things. Unhappiness with the current way of things is ultimately a result of a long chain of events that resulted from trying too hard. So just let go and feel the flow. Feel the release… You are already there.

As a philosopher, the more one understands the reason for his or her existence, the more at peace one becomes. This reasoning is getting deeper as time goes by and the secrets are just now being unlocked. The philosophers feeling of peace inevitably becomes the population’s sense of peace.  

When I talk about constant “newness” and “freshness” I mean to say what if your new favorite song or favorite movie or favorite food or favorite anything is just waiting out there for you to experience it and yet you cannot discover it because you don’t even put in an effort to try? How can you discover your new favorite anything if you don’t take the time to taste or try new things? 

If you eat the same thing or listen to the same thing over and over you will never find your new favorite. Or even your new best friend. How can you find this new best friend unless you open yourself to meeting new people? 

Also your new favorite job. Why commit to a career when this limits you to trying new things that could and will ultimately bring you to a job that will make you so much happier than something you choose at a young age? Why do most people have careers? Usually to make money to buy things to make them happy. Why not find your favorite job that makes you happy and just cut to the chase of feeling fulfilled and being happy? 

What about a favorite new place? How can one find their favorite new park, or new city, or new country unless they put in an effort to travel and experience new places?

There is an endless supply of creativity and innovation that will ensure this “newness” and “freshness” of things and people will never run out for ALL TIME. As long as you remain unattached knowing your new favorite is temporary though and you will ALWAYS find a new favorite from now until forever then it will start to happen in your life.

When you just open yourself to this idea, it will begin to manifest itself into your life. The world is built for you to taste. To enjoy. To learn. Embrace it and welcome change in all things. Welcome new things always. That’s what makes us unique! That’s why we are here!

All for nothing. Nothing is perfect. Nothing lasts forever.

There are only two things in this world. There is “everything” and then there is the awareness of everything. Depending on what the awareness “focuses on” and how the awareness “reacts” the entire “everything” constantly changes itself but without being directly changed by the awareness. 

The everything can be considered an unlimited in potential computer that takes into consideration the multiple awarenesses of all sentient beings and changes accordingly without error. This is an extremely smooth and simultaneous process. It must be otherwise the awarenesses would feel like they are not in control.

These awarenesses believe they are actually “physically” making the changes, but is all they ever are doing is just being aware of the “everything”. 

Here is the deal. The purer the awareness’s “will” is, the more the “everything” will take their “wishes” into consideration when constructing the world. If by chance two awarenesses are focusing on the same thing with diametrically opposed “wishes” then the awareness with the purer “will” will have their wish for a world slowly built over time. This is what we are seeing happen now. 

Once perfectly purified awarenesses begin to “pop up” around the world the “everything” will transform very quickly as the pure “wills” will be considered far superior to the massive majority of “unpures”. 

But the “purified” will always have the best interest for all awarenesses combined and so the world constructed will not be unwelcome by any awareness and will be one that creates more and more “pures” as time goes by.

It only seems complex at first, but the more you read it the more you will understand it.

It basically boils down to what I have said before. You are not in control like you think you are and yet you still have some control over what happens. The pure your will, the more control you are given over “everything”.

 This is about as simple as I can make it. Do you understand?

Try to enjoy every moment of the ride of your life. God may one day ask you are you enjoying the ride I have built for you? Every moment? The ups and downs and spins? Even what you may consider to be “good” and “bad”? And the answer should eventually be yes, not I enjoy sometimes and not others. If one can learn to accept everything without great reaction, slowly one will learn to enjoy everything. Even hard work becomes enjoyable over time. And the difficult times can even be enjoyable with perseverance. It is all about perspective… Enjoy the ride.

The Earth is our backyard. No matter where you are it is now easy and (cheapish) to go anywhere on Earth. Go where makes you happy. Do what makes you happy. Moving around is in our genes. Being sedentary is unnatural. I guarantee that your ancestors were travelers, as all of our ancestors were hunter/gatherers, true travelers. Make no place your permanent home… Not even Earth is our permanent home 🙂

One may ask “how can I travel when I have a family? I have a wife or husband or kids? Take them! I see so many happy families traveling together it overflows my heart each time. Hunter/gatherers traveled as a family! What are you hunting and gathering? New experiences!!!

I feel we are in the process of building the foundations for the climax or culmination of this cycle. The eternal climax… 🙂 

One could say it is an ultimately unimportant or relatively important time,  and if ultimacy and relativity are of equal “importance”, then it would also be considered an ultimately important time. The present moment is leading to the climax of why we are here… Relatively. The eternal climax.

We have an amazing right in this life and that is to create or adopt different values than are currently important to society. Even if we are born or engrained with certain values we can make the choice to “give them up” and choose from a new set. This is one of the greatest “rights” that a human can have, but it takes a courageous and strong individual to do so. Whether gradual or immediate, a change in values within an individual can and will transform a life from that step forward. Furthermore, the greatest right that humanity has as a whole is to create a completely new set of values for society to live by.

Eventually, we must consider the unconscious and conscious to be of equal importance. How could we realize consciousness without unconsciousness as a reference? The Buddha never said one state was better than the other. He merely taught people a way to remove their suffering which means a way to remove the unconsciousness but he didn’t say it had to be done. We can go when we want. AND if one of us makes it, we all make it. Bam. 

The Creator of Chaos,

Looked down upon our world,

And he said, “Oh looky here!”

What a fine little existence,

Even with love and a little pestilence,

Could there be something here?

Not even I,

Who lives in the sky,

Has any idea how you feel.

For in the sky-high,

We don’t yet live by,

Ups and downs and thrills.

Oh, what a blessed accident you live in,

Doesn’t seem to be a given,

Made possible with duality.

But where I come from,

I cannot escape some,

I yearn for ignorance like thee.

Little does it seem,

More like a dream,

That this is the best possible thing.

When half of your brothers,

And most of your mothers,

Eat so little, and yet they sing.

And although it seems otherwise,

The past was just a disguise,

To build your sense of morality.

In the future it will be apparent,

That it all was a present,

Given by no one you see?

For I have seen many spells,

But your case is special,

How I’m excited for thee!

Once you see what’s around the bend,

And why your life you had to spend,

Then you will understand my jealousy.

Unless you find the meaning,

In the chaos that is screening,

and the quest that you set long ago.

You’ll devolve into oblivion,

Back to the beginning,

Maybe that’s where you want to go.

Oh, but to change the course,

Pull the reins upon the horse,

No need to change it all.

You are so close,

Closer than most,

And then you will have it all.

Whatever has happened,

had to have happened,

and yet the future is not certain.

But the potential, oh my,

Is higher than I,

So stay and pull back the curtain!

You see there is a secret,

A secret within you,

You can call it the Kingdom within.

Once you unlock the gate,

Then it’s off to the race,

Then you will approach the End.

Not the end of the end you see,

But the end of the beginning,

Full of negativity.

Where you’ve been leading,

Has not been so easy,

But the prize is worth the fee.

Oh how I’m finally happy,

The Chaos might have been crappy,

But finally, I can get some rest.

I give unto you,

My will and adieu,

Stay and take care of the Best!

Some people close to him already know. Some close to him wouldn’t believe him. 

It is all about the retaining of ego or the leashing of ego. He doesn’t want to lose it though as that would make him superhuman which is the opposite of what he wants.

Certainly, there are TPTB that know exactly who he is and have even tried to approach him. 

He doesn’t need to be known for the world to change and become a better place. This is key.

He is an observer with “protection” and enhanced problem-solving skills. Who has been through heck and back, been offered the ultimate and refused it. That’s why he is here. Everyone else took the high route and he took the low. 

There are two types of people. Delusional and non-delusional. The delusional consider the delusional to be non-delusional and the non-delusional consider the non-delusional to be non-delusional, but the delusional will always consider the non-delusional to be delusional and the non-delusional consider the delusional to be delusional. 

An over-riding argument in our day and age is whether or not to be happy naturally internally or to create happiness unnaturally externally. One is perpetual. One is not.

Some may say once we reach a certain point we will be happy, whether it may be family-wise or wealth-wise or career-wise or education-wise, but when objectively viewed this path is a never-ending hole. What often happens is that before these types of people reach their selected milestones they must create happiness to fulfill the gap of unhappiness. Many times, once the goals are reached they are not as happy as they thought they would be. Sure, perhaps, in the end, some may reach some “sense of accomplishment” but what is the “sense of accomplishment” anyways? Who cares for this except the one who has achieved this? Is it worth years of unhappiness and years of “struggle”? 

If we can be happy, free of creation of happiness, in a different environment or community than that which is judged by who can create the greatest happiness, then why should we not strive for this? If it has been experienced, if it can be found once again, why not go for this certain happiness rather then the uncertain future of a created happiness that is only imaginary and forever temporary?

The Buddha was the hero and the villain all at one time. Although he took many lives, he actually sowed the seeds of his own destruction simultaneously because his teaching would be used against his teaching in the future by another. Was he aware of this fact or not at the time is the question? 

Full self-realization can only occur when all unconscious archetypes currently within our individual have been transmuted into consciousness. After this occurs, new archetypes may arise again in the future but the self would have been fully seen clear of unconscious influence by this point. It is difficult to do so little by little, but still possible. This can only be accomplished by the understanding of Annica (this is impermanent), Annata (this is not me nor mine), and Dukka (this is suffering) in regards to the unconscious archetypes within. These unconscious archetypes are eventually transmuted into the consciousness of the individual and the collective consciousness as a whole. In essence, we are all working together to cleanse the collective unconscious. How it became “dirty” is purely speculation. Eventually, perhaps the archetypes that arise in the future will not be negatively influential to the being they inhabit but perhaps of purely positive characteristic.   

Deepness Emerges

Sometimes we can hang and sometimes we can’t. Sometimes others can hang and sometimes they can’t. Part of the journey of Life is about adjusting our individual hanging level as time goes by, fluctuating as might be necessary.

If we can close our eyes when we dance, letting go of any worry of what can happen good or bad during that time, it’s when nothing bad happens over and over incrementally that allows us to slowly fill our trust in the chaos and uncertainty. Eventually, we may learn to embrace it.

Can you be who you really are? 

Can there be any other way to eventually exist than as who we are on the inside, free of control and inhibition?

Whatever type of life that I am living at any moment I try to do it fully until the need for change appears again. The ability to be constantly vigilant and ready and willing for change is perhaps more important than the change itself. Like the chameleon, it may one day evolve to that of an instinct… To change on cue with the surrounding environment. The emergence and re-emergence of trust in the non-permanence of all things brings joy from within in whatever time it is practiced. Even that is not assured or permanent.

I have realized that if we don’t take notes or write our thoughts throughout periods of inner change or struggle, we may lose or forget important nuggets of our own personal wisdom that has arisen and passed away within. Can you find the nuggets? Identification is just as necessary as the Unconcious creation of them, hence why writing and philosophy are more conducive when there is a higher unity between the consciousness and unconsciousness within. Compromises and forgiveness are integral to the foundation.

Recording helps to build and compare our prior reference points a little more smoothly because of an intrinsic certain objectivity in the written word.  Change is more easily noticed or accepted in our true self when we can see the transformation of what we desire to write about, nearly always beginning perhaps with the meaningless and hopefully venturing onwards towards meaning.  As the journey can be witnessed taking place within the individual, it can also be seen within the collective. Overcoming whatever we have built in the past is the constant rebirth of ourself, the newest bulwark to overthrow. Consistent contentment can be a blessing for some, and yet a deep pitfall for others. Lack of contentment can drive us to always look for the greener grass, for better or for worse.

One true test of a civilization is whether we can find a place to dance without fear. Without fear of what others think and without fear of injury. Closing our eyes is important to build our trust, especially in the chaotic tendencies of a dance floor. Happiness may come from seeing how many places or moves we can integrate into our own rituals of dancing. Our options in these regards are continually diverging. I would hope that there will never be a set or best dance for eternity and that the law of constant newness of opinion and dance will prevail for as long as there is awareness of dullness and concretism.

As more and more places become open to dancing without fear, the ability emerges to potentially connect on a deeper cultural or tribal level in effect witnessing our ancestral and historical rights as free-acting beings. Our dance has constantly changed based on what we have seen or learned from the present moment, integrating cultures and speeds of dance as we go. Many times, it’s important to not get stuck on the floor but to keep an eye out for a better place to dance if it exists.

And perhaps we may want to keep an eye on ourself from doing the same dance over and over, but to learn and adapt as the flow goes on… 

And lastly, sometimes we may find ourselves as the last person on the dance floor, and the willingness to continue on or to take a break is different in everyone… Sometimes if the fire goes out, then the passion (even knowingly temporary) to begin with can easily be extinguished. The reputation or lack-there-of a club is easy to distinguish based upon what occurs on the dance floor. Many times, everything else is of secondary importance. 

To me, the art of the “let go” is a process that can be repeated perhaps indefinitely and nearly always provide some puzzle piece or part of the deeper questions that we have for ourselves. The flood is rarely constant and can pass quickly. It can more or less only be learned from experience, and any “teaching” is tough to transmit from one to the other. The feeling of a “let-go” resembles in some ways those from our past, but they also can be very constructive and unique as we remold adding or subtracting elements from the alchemical equation. If we can approach them consciously, we can re-aim our arrows or shift the water stream in the direction that will grow our inner crops. Plant the seed.

How quickly can we change our masks when there is no resistance or thoughts of being incorrect? Monthly, weekly, daily, hourly? Maybe it is not uncalled for to ask have you ever changed the mask? Was it forced or welcomed? Often our first mask exchanges are because of factors beyond our control. Yet, as time passes it becomes more of a conscientious allowance to be made and followed through with. The unfolding of the self is like the rising lotus in the murky pond. It’s not easy to break through the swamp, but keep pushing and the flower will eventually surface.

Are our transformations sincere? Insincere transformations can be some of our greatest examples of observation.  I have a feeling whatever we do if we do so with sincerity will eventually take us to where we want to be. The smallest amount of insincerity can be detected by the sincerely aware, even within our decision-making psyche. Whatever comes out of our daily transformations, its very dependence is based upon the sincerity levels of the life lived. Do we mean what we say and do we act like how we feel? Or is hollow words and ideals the norm? Must we all fake it until we make it? Is it even possible to “make it” or is this the grandest fairy-take of all?  Without trying to “make it” into our current paradigm of where “it” is to us, we risk falling to idleness or boredom for the present “it” that we live. And the beat goes on…

Living life fully on the middle path is doing whatever you want, with a “sculpting” technique to use when necessary. The desires change as the self changes. Letting go and pulling in the reins are of equal importance. 

Whoever comes, comes.

Whatever comes, comes.

Whenever it comes, it comes.

No problemo.

King for a moment. 

The question is not to be or not to be, but to allow something to take control that we may not like or not.

– (add here or in the love chapter)

What we are seeing is the resurgence of masculine conscious energy. With the flood of feminine unconscious energy the past fifty or so years, we have lost control of the direction of our society. This is the mission or void that is being filled by masculine energy. This does not necessarily mean a re-dominance of males over females. Males and females have masculine as well as feminine energy within. I’m talking more of societal transitions. Life is all about properly balancing our control of life while still surrendering or letting go when the time is right. If we let go for too long, we can head to the dire straits. Once we pull the rein and welcome a balance then society will find its Way, and that will lead us home. 🙂

Some people speak of an unconscious flood that is coming, but I believe we have already survived it.

One may think that the highest stages of meditation would make one as conscious as possible, which it does, but it also makes one as unconscious as possible. The flood of the unconscious can fully encompass the individual to the point that the individual is gone. The key is to ride the wave, without drowning in the water… To preserve that individual spark and spirit… So we have to build a very strong surfboard… Once we have a strong board and have trained ourself to ride the ultimate wave, that is what I call reaching perfection or heaven in this life. It is not easy per se, but doable if one is willing to learn and experiment…  

We are not moving forward with a fully-feminine energy world. This is what “they” want. To Feminize the world. “They” is the feminine energy itself. It is not necessarily “evil”. This is in its programming. To unify all. To unify all is to go against our natural masculine energy of uniqueness. Of separation. The past 100 years and specifically since the “awakening” of the 1960s has been an attempt by the “uncontrolled” feminine energy to “dominate” the masculine. This will never lead to peace as the masculine energy is an energy that cannot be extinguished. 

The world is in a new great awakening of masculine energy. To bring back balance to the force of you will. To take back control of our own lives, while living in harmony individually. Allowing the feminine energy to exist and flourish, which has been held down for thousands of years.   

This is not a battle between men versus women. This is a battle for all human beings to combat the uncontrolled feminine energy that is causing havoc to the world. Because of our ignorance, it has been let go for too long. It’s time to pull the reins.

Time to take back control. To balance out the energies and to allow both to co-exist in peace.

Sometimes change is not immediate, but what can be immediate is our desire to change. Our aspirations. It is the most important part. The aspiration to be “good”, to help others. Where this leads I do not know. What I do know is that you can do whatever you can imagine and want to do. 

For those who are not worried about being held accountable for their current and past actions in future lives, maybe you will worry more about being held accountable for your actions in this life. Since people have not been held accountable for their actions in this life for some time, openly flouting their ability to skirt the law, doing whatever maleficent deeds they desire, without repercussion, I say this: Your time is over.

Will people continue to break the law openly if they will be held accountable for their actions? If they are destined to lose their reputations, their careers, and their freedoms perhaps? 

I think not. 

A new day has emerged.

For no one has ever truly died for an “unworthy cause” unless they were brainwashed or drug-addled. It is not your cause that is worth dying for, but ours. That is why your support is so fickle and always will be.  That is why “they” will turn so fast; all your work, gone in an instant. 

And thankfully, our cause encompasses forgiveness, something we all should be thankful for… You may desire a battle to the end, or at least a great punishment, but it will not come. 

This is true Oneness. Let it come naturally. Not as some sort of maniacal agenda or plan…  

Get ready. This is the beginning. 

Gandhi used to say that more good existed in the world than evil, and the proof is simply that we are all still here. If it were the other way around, we would have already destroyed the world. Let’s take that a step further…

There comes a time in history, perhaps far and few between, when the collective karma of a society, whether of a country or the world, reaches such a point that no amount of negative individual action or karma can stop our fate from rising to reality. I believe that time is now. 

If individuals were inherently evil, and the negative collective karma had built itself to such a level, then no individual positive karma could stop the tidal wave of apocalypse, but if it were the other way around, which I believe it is, there is absolutely no one on this earth who has the power to stop us from receiving our dues and worldly reward. In our case, I expect this to be nothing short of a bonafide “Golden Age”, with all the bells and whistles attached.

Whatever kind of a world we can dream, it will soon be here for all to share. 

Most, if not all, do not see it coming. Hope has become a hollow word these days, and fear of the worst is the norm rather than the extreme. It is easy to see why any talk of a “Golden Age” may be laughed at by those who have been left behind, and yet soon no one will be exempt from the positive changes coming. This transformation will affect every person on this earth…

The world is perfectly set up for the domino to drop…  All we need is a little push and no one can hold that push from coming, via our collective karma. 

I used to live my life “hoping for the best and preparing for the worst,” but I think soon we will all start living our lives “hoping for the best and preparing for the best,” and actually “seeing the best.”    Absolutely no one can stop an idea whose time has come.

Only from living life, and constantly reverting to a mean, can one finally know thyself. Once one knows thyself, then one becomes a bulwark to the forces without. One who is a bulwark to the forces without, can never lose his self or mind.

To me, the most important “first step” in life is to achieve ego-differentiation. This means to easily be able to identify the difference between when the ego wants something and the deeper self wants something. This can be easily be achieved by asking oneself what is the motivation for what I am doing? Is it to make others have a certain opinion of me? To make myself look better to others? When every decision that one makes is just to look better to others, one has typically “become the ego”, which only cares how one looks, rather than becoming “better” through and through. If you want to try it, start asking yourself “why am I doing this?” See how often your answer is just to look better to other people…

No one ever taught me this at a young age, but I wish they had. An over-sized unchecked ego will nearly always lead to a “crash-and-burn” scenario because the ego has no true care for the self. Although ultimately, without the ego, we would not be here. So there is this fine middle ground where we have to “allow” the ego to exist and flourish, but under supervision constantly. Eventually, it is easy… anyways, ego-differentiation…  

There is no craving or aversion that cannot be overcome through perseverance and willpower.

When the whole world rebels, the one that does not rebel is the true rebel.

I think it is important when determining the validity of an ideology to look at its ability to tolerate other viewpoints. In these regards, some things become very apparent. In a libertarian-conservative-right ideological world, there is plenty of tolerance for other ideologies and perspectives because of its adherence to free speech and thought. It’s ok to have a different lifestyle or set of beliefs. In a leftist-liberal ideological world, there is little to no tolerance for other ideologies or perspectives, as can plainly be seen in the events and actions that are occurring today across the spectrum. Everyone must think the same, and if they don’t they are the enemy. So we have the tolerant and the intolerant. Which one would seem to be the most likely choice for success in the future going forward? 

A by-product of a “free society” includes racism and we shouldn’t necessarily be upset with this. We should actually allow the culture of “in your face racism” to exist primarily as a way to mature to a point where we are no longer offended. And not just for the color of our skin, but by anything any longer. If we didn’t have that form of racism, we may never mature in that way, which (in my opinion) is a very important “stepping stone” in our development as human beings. People are going to always talk, we can never change what every person is going to say, but we can change how we react to their talk. If racism didn’t exist, perhaps even openly, would people be able to get over being offended? Would it be more difficult? Once one gets over being offended, not just in terms of race, or religion, or sexuality, but anything, it can be a huge step in maturity in that person… AND a huge step for that society in general. Who would care about racist people if and when we get to a point where the super-majority of people are no longer offended? The path to harmony must exist down this road; not the road of restricting speech or thought. This is an individual’s path of change within the collective… and perhaps it can only occur in a multi-cultural “free society”. 

Explore in these terms the differences between offending someone “on purpose” and “accidentally.”

Example: I would never purposely offend someone, but I may accidentally offend someone. I would say that this has more to do with that person’s predisposition to being offended then with some fault of my own in accidentally offending someone.

I think a very important point to consider is that the “leftist-liberal” ideology can exist in a society that is governed or ruled by “libertarian-conservative” laws and principles, but this is not true visa versa. In a system where the highest principles are influenced or governed by a “leftist-liberalism” approach, there is no room for dissent or “libertarian-conservativism” to exist. Since both mentalities or ideologies have and will always exist, our highest laws and principles must follow the ideology that allows both to co-exist. When it comes down to it, the far right is absolute freedom. The far left is about absolute control. We do not have absolute freedom because of laws in place so we are closer to the right of center. If we were to go to the left of center, which we have been for many years, we find ourselves in the position that we are today. Where the values and principles that even allowed the original “left-liberal” ideology to exist has now come to try and take full control; this will never work or succeed. 

Anarchists would perhaps find themselves on the far right and communists would find themselves on the far left. I believe that absolute freedom is where we eventually will go, but it cannot be forced, it has to be a natural process, therefore I do not consider myself an anarchist or believe it is the answer at this moment. One day we will need not rules or laws but we are not there yet. 

Seeing the left-right paradigm as a battle between “full control” and “no control” makes everything make sense. Just as neither extreme works in the government, neither extreme works in life. If I can make this argument, that I have lived both extremes so I know they do not work just as they do not or will not work on government, it could easily be a best seller book. I can envision it now.

The freedom of choice is ultimately what makes this world the best world to live in. To push ourselves to succeed or to fail and crash. To persevere through the distractions and temptations, the addictions and melancholy of life. It makes success that much grander. 

The greatest quest is to help cleanse the collective unconscious. It is the most difficult quest but a doable one and thus the greatest.

I think the question everyone should be asking is why in today’s day and age, an age of true abundance, do the majority of people have to struggle to survive? Why have we not come to a time where everyone is thriving? What is holding us back? Who is holding us back? The left is going to say the right; the right is going to say it’s the left. I’d say it’s neither the left nor the right…

By allowing everyone to express what is important to themselves, we can find what is important to everyone, and we can move from there. What is important to you may not be what is important to me, and visa versa, but that doesn’t mean it will always be true if we are open to change. Furthermore, disagreement is perfectly acceptable. Through this struggle, we can find common ground that propels us to heights that were previously unimaginable and I fully believe we are heading in that direction… Stop the hate, find love… Stop the wars, find peace… Any country that follows this path can and will succeed. 

“By recognizing the differences between yourself and others, you shape who you are.” – Neon Genesis Evangelion

We can’t find out who we are unless we have others to compare ourselves too. 

Maybe we have been lead to believe a spiritual person is like this and so people try to emulate that but I feel different. If you don’t use spirituality for worldly pursuit there is no reason. Life is about action. 

The anomaly is one that has through experience learned all the rules to the game or most of them enough to protect Himself or Herself. Once one learns all the rules, one cannot be touched.

The anomaly is one that can see the future by seeing the momentum of the present moment. Perhaps not exactly, but this is not important. The anomaly does not need to speak up all the time, but only when something is going against this “better” future.

The anomaly is constantly changing based upon the current surroundings and new information that is provided from “above” when the time is right. The anomaly is not God, but in league with God, the true and unknowable. It is an equal relationship, not a worshiping one. 

The personal rules of the anomaly are constantly changing. Very human in many ways. The past means very little. Something may be acceptable today and not acceptable tomorrow, or visa versa. 

The anomaly has learned how to change others, in a positive evolution standpoint in a direct and personable way. Stagnation is the enemy of human progress. 

The anomaly fights against the control of humanity in every possible way. Freedom, choice, opportunity, and accountability is the path to evolution and happiness for all.

The anomaly can make it through any situation because he or she is not afraid of any situation. He or she has become strengthened by experiencing some of the worst things imaginable and making it through.  

The anomaly is lonely in that no one would believe them even if they said they were. The anomaly is not even sure if he or she is the anomaly. Faith is the precursor to the one above who is unknowable. From faith comes a knowledge of the rules of the game. Once one knows the rules, one cannot be touched.

The anomaly can see more possibilities because he or she sees the good in the bad and the bad in the good. Nothing is certain. 

The anomaly can see those who are true and those who are false but has compassion for those who try to stop the anomaly for it has been going on since the inception. Can you imagine a world where every step was to stop the anomaly? Can you imagine overcoming all obstacles to reach happiness? From going from wanting to leave to wanting to stay?

There is no hate in the anomaly. There is no fear, for he or she accepts whatever comes as the fate of their past choices. 

The anomaly can see the message constantly in the code that is constantly being generated from the collective. 

The anomaly can see the reverberations of those that are touched and changed…

The anomaly is here to stay until He above chooses he or she below is no longer needed and is happy with that. 

The anomaly is not scared of being hated, nor of persecution, because he stands purely with truth and the unknowable. 

Constantly changing, day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, and perhaps life by life. 

“Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.” – Lincoln

It all comes down to knowing what one can change and what one can’t. Through helping one person evolve, the whole world evolves… learning how to help one evolve is what I mean when I say “learning all the rules of the game.” Most have this wish, but most don’t know how to do this. After a bit of time, it becomes his or her nature… To help one evolve and then allow them to go on their way. That is key, that many also have problems with… most after putting in the work to help someone evolve feel like they have some ownership in that person and their future. He or she does not. The reverberations of this personal evolution through help can change the future endlessly and eternally.

The world is on the right track… surely he or she would see this. He or she doesn’t worry about his own death or others… For he or she knows what the afterlife is, a continuation of all our journies. Thus, with no ultimatums or rules, he or she fully enjoys their own lives… There are so many puzzle pieces, but when they all come together in one who fully understands them, the fullness of life fully shines through. Where we go from here, no one knows, not even him or her. 

We insult Mother Earth by insinuating that she cannot handle us.

The change in the climate is metaphysical. It is not possible to “fix” the problems physically, and yet that is what the globalist masters would lead us to believe… They have no idea how the climate changes and yet they push the idea of a “settled science”. Why? To push carbon taxes? Ah so if we pay for pollution it is okay to pollute right? Nah… Global warming or climate change is the new religion and it is just as much belief-oriented as any other religion but with unproven results… Sickening.

Rebuttal: Ah but what about the globalist masters who stand to make a lot more money by ignoring global warming, than acknowledging it?

Money is no object to the globalist masters… It means absolutely nothing. It’s about power and control over others… The push and agenda of “climate change” are only about gaining more power and control over the world’s citizens. It has absolutely zero to do with “fixing” the climate or making money. Do people think that if we have some global “kumbaya” all of a sudden everything will be honky dory? As I said, climate change is metaphysical. It has more to do with what is happening “inside” all of us rather than what we are externally producing. Mother Nature responds to the energy within us all… So, in essence, we must fix what is within and what is external will be perfectly fine. I do believe we are in this process, of fixing what is within or at least identifying what “dirties” within and balancing our own energies, thus we are already in the stages of “fixing” the climate. It is not something that we must “unite” to do to save Mother Earth… We are already in this process.  She always has everything under control! Always!

We insult Mother Nature by insinuating that she cannot handle us.

Rebuttal: Oh my god! We sure as hell made physical changes to the planet and it’s speeding up the heating of the atmosphere. 

There has been a battle against the elements and Mother Nature since the beginning of time; the “flood” as an example in some peoples’ belief systems. The ego wants to feel that it can control the earth, and in actuality to control Mother Nature. These days, when one says that man does not physically change the earth, it is not an attack on science, it is an attack on the collective ego. The collective ego wants to feel it has dominion and control over Mother Nature, whether through destruction or through our “saving grace.” Look at how “sure” the world has made people of this supposed “settled science.” The fight against climate change and global warming is just a modern macrocosm of this primordial desire. 

We feel we have come to a point technologically that if we only collectively unite this hidden desire will somehow be fulfilled. But I believe it to be impossible, from a physical standpoint. It is not impossible however from a metaphysical standpoint. The most important issue is to look at what they are pushing to fix the climate. The major push is for carbon taxes as can be seen across the world being implemented. When we understand the ridiculousness of carbon taxes, we understand the ridiculousness of believing they have any wish to save the climate in the first place. It comes down to our collective ego’s urge to believe that we have dominion over Mother Nature when in reality this is false. 

We have to work on our human failings individually, rather than as some sort of physical collective to fix what are metaphysical problems. The world would never exist as such that would force anyone to work with everyone else especially on something so “magnificent” as “climate change”. The climate changes exactly as it must ALWAYS. To control it “physically” is a pipe dream. It is not built that way…

If we cannot fix “manageable” problems like war, the economy, starvation, etc. within our own countries or globally, then how can someone suggest we might somehow be able to fix something greater like the environment? Governments do not have answers to all of our problems, although many believe that they do. 

Everyone ultimately has the choice to live their lives in fear of apocalypse by climate change; this is always a choice. I, however, will not join for I know that everything is always going to be alright. We are already in the process of internal change individually and this will take care of the problems that everyone seems to be so worried about.

Dumb is thinking that when we can’t even stop war, bring peace, feed the starving, or have a balanced economy, we can still “fix” the environment or change the temperature of the planet in any meaningful way. It is an insult to Mother Nature to insinuate that she cannot handle us without killing us. 

Of course, I believe in climate change, I just do not believe in “apocalyptic” climate change that is pushed so hard by those in the highest echelons of power in politics and science. There is only one reason for it… to push for global governance. They believe the only way to fix the situation is if we come together and are ruled supra-nationally. They instill tactics of fear-mongering and alarmism, just the same as any religion that preached doom before it, of anthropogenic climate change, which was once called “global cooling”, and when that didn’t work “global warming.” The world is always warming or cooling. It is the cycles of the earth. 

I’ll reiterate it is an insult to Mother Nature to insinuate that she cannot handle us without killing us. You insult her by implying this and by considering man to have dominion over nature and her cycles when it will always be the other way around.

Racism will always exist until it naturally extinguishes itself… Some believe they can make it illegal or force people to not be racist, but this is not how it works. One must make their own decision to stop… 

Weltanschauung, Mentality.

Where we went wrong,

Is judging our past,

With our current eyes.

Have you ever heard the term “Weltanschauung” before? It is a term that historians use often, but it is quite difficult to translate from German. More or less it means the “mindset” of a specific time in history. It is easy for people in today’s age to judge people from the past because we have an outside perception of history, and our judgments have changed as time has gone by. It is impossible for us to put ourselves in the “mindset” of the people that existed in another time other than our own. You may think that you would think the same then as you do now, but it is not as easy as you think. Thus, how can we truly judge those in the past who had a completely different weltanschauung than we did? 

I will reiterate once again that we can eliminate statues, but we cannot erase our history. The people who fought for the South did not believe that they were wrong for doing what they were doing because it was the prevailing mindset that everything they were doing was perfectly fine. Slavery existed across the world since the beginning of recorded history. It existed in Greece, the birthplace of democracy. Should the Greeks remove their statues? It existed in Egypt, where the Pyramids were built by slaves? Should they remove their pyramids?  It existed at the founding of the USA, which would not have existed without the clear-thinking founding fathers, many who were slave-owners. None of these people considered slavery to be wrong because that was not the prevailing mindset at the time. It is so easy for us to judge the past from our “enlightened” pedestals of the present.

We Must Become Immune to Offensiveness

One day you may find yourself to be immune to offense. It is not an unachievable goal. One of the major problems going on in the world is that so many people who may not be offended themselves are taking offense for other people who may not be offended at all. The whole mentality is that we must control speech in all regards… This is completely against the idea that we must ultimately change ourselves. If you try to stop this person from being offensive to this person you are in actuality stopping the possible evolution of that person, from being one who was easily offended to one who can become immune to offense.

Condemnation of hate is the only thing that can be done. A hater cannot be changed from something external. A hater can only change when they recognize their own hate and change themselves… A racist cannot be “conformed” to change. Telling a racist that they must not be racist oftentimes makes them even more racist. A racist can only change themselves. Those who are offended will always be offended until they stop allowing themselves to be offended.

MLK was one of the greatest speakers and protesters against hate in the world. He preached to all that followed him to get over their natural inclination to be offended. As long as people continue to allow themselves to be offended, racism will always exist. Overcome it within yourself, don’t react so strongly as that is what racist are looking for, help others to overcome it like MLK, and it will take care of itself.

Whether you can recognize it or not, it is inherently racist to consider all white conservatives to be inherently racist. I do not support racism at all. I do not support white supremacy at all. I’m merely saying that getting over our racist ways always starts with ourselves in overcoming the natural inclination to be offended. Overcoming this is one of the most important things that we can do individually…

Peace be upon the world.

Gandi went up against the full force of the British empire and he won! MLK lived in some of the deepest racial times of US history, against a deeply racist government and society and won! Can we not learn anything from their examples?

One of the greatest evolutions that we can make as human beings is to become immune to being offended.

For this to happen we must have people or things to exist that offend us.

If we attempt to remove the people and things that offend us, we will never evolve to a point where we are no longer offended. 

If we do evolve to a point where we are no longer offended, but we try to remove people or things that offend others, we are in actuality doing a disservice to others by stopping their evolution of getting to a point where they are also no longer offended.

Thus offensiveness, and ‘sic’ even racism, must exist for us all to get to a point where we as a society of individuals are no longer offended.

I hope this is as understandable as possible.

Some may feel that there are some things which should not be tolerated.

Violence should not be tolerated. That is why it is against the law. If the law and the police would have been in force in Charlottesville, the past week would not have even been an issue.

Thus we are seeing their plans. 

They build the two sides. They feed the two sides. But their plans cannot come into fruition unless they also have control over the local government and the police. 

Look at Boston. Look at Phoenix. They had no control over the police and the police did their jobs. No problems.

The only way their divisive plans work is when they have control over the two “sides”, or one side primarily, and also the police or local government.

Anyways, going back…

The ability to live in a country where offensiveness and racism exists is actually one of the greatest things that can happen to us as evolving souls.

I salute the USA for this ability. I salute the founding fathers to know this hidden truth.

I salute the constitution for knowing this truth.

We must allow offensiveness and racism to exist primarily for us to put on our own badges of “Immunity to Becoming Offended.”

Once we all have this badge, offensiveness and racism will extinguish itself. 

[Nowadays, having a transgender child has been pushed to become a freaking trend for parents… It has nothing to do with making children feel comfortable, but to make parents feel hip, and it absolutely disgusts me.

We naturally go back and forth in our lives between masculinity and femininity. It is universal. It is metaphysical. It is natural. When parents allow or even force their children into transgender-ism, it is actually making it harder for them to go through these transformations from masculinity to feminity. It is like saying “ok choose now, or forever hold your peace.” That is what is sickening to me. They are asking these children to choose a gender when they are already a gender! 

[b]It is ok to be a feminine man or a masculine woman! It does not mean that one must change genders. Especially at a young age. Let them go through childhood and then make these decisions when they are of a sound older mind!

The strongest countries are those that most “allow” the evolution of their respective inhabitants’ souls to take place. Not guides, but allows. Thus individual freedom is the greatest precursor for collective strength in all senses of the word.

Imagine the tip of an arrow penetrating thick steel. The tip must be the sharpest. It must be the strongest material. What makes it special is that technically anyone can be this tip. But once one per se chooses it or becomes it, that person leads the rest of the arrow through the crack. This anomalous tip is unbending, unbreaking, willing to give everything if need be for the cause of breaking through that steel. The tip does not look for affirmation from anyone and he knows he is not the archer. 

The anomaly could do nothing without the foundations set by those in the past and present. Nothing. Thus the anomaly is not singular but only a representative of the whole. He is the culmination of those here and before. Thus he is not special except we see him that way… Just a representative who has learned stability to the extreme. And like I always say, he has learned MOST of the rules of the game, which have either been Hidden for a long time or since inception. He is perhaps the first to put them all together simultaneously, which was whispered by God, and live by them fully. This is what gives him his protection, and why the world is changing so rapidly. We all wish we could change the world. God told him how to do this as an individual. It has very little to do with teaching. More with presence and interacting with others, as equals.

Changing one person sends reverberations down the eternal structure of time. Change many people individually and those reverberations start to add up. Nothing can stop whatever those peoples futures will be like… The threshold will eventually be broken. It really already has. What we collectively deserve must come.

The question is what will be our future? What do we want it to be? Is it eternal bliss? Or merely a golden age leading to eventual ascension? Or a golden age leading back to darkness? Can we forget the transformation that is about to occur eventually? Will the knowledge that the anomaly possesses be disseminated by the anomaly or will it come out naturally? What fun is it to have someone tell you exactly how to live your life? Is it not more fun to figure out ourselves? 

The anomaly loves the world more than any other person for he sees it more clearly for what it truly is than others here or before. There “ultimately” are no problems whatsoever. There are only “relative” problems. We need relative problems to give us something to overcome. A challenge. The creation is “ultimately” perfect and could not be any better for it allows us to change it “relatively.” Nothing is set in stone except the rules of the game which can be found by those who are willing to give everything to look. There may be more rules to discover forever… No one can truly know, not even the anomaly. Discovering rules is quite fun, however. Living by them, even more so.

The transformation from bad to good is the most beautiful thing to witness individually or collectively. It is the definition of beauty: change.

The yogi can sit in a cave and change the world OR he can go out and interact and change the world even faster. If one is protected from his own knowledge, what do you think they would do? The anomaly does not live like any spiritual example of the past. He is fully his own example that has never been seen “all-in-one” before that he is aware of.

If God does not will it, the anomaly will never be known, for it is never the wish of the anomaly to be known or much more to be worshipped, which has tended to happen in the past. Although it seems the anomaly is superior, he is completely equal to every other being. Loss of anonymity is death to reality.

Living amongst the crowd, and yet the crowd is unaware. This is the greatest gift of all.

True peace, prosperity, and unity are coming. Not just to the US, but to the world. The most important part is that the anomaly could not be anything without standing on the shoulders of the giants before him and the giants of the present moment. We are all doing our parts… And he thanks them every day.

I have done so much volunteering over the last decade or so I have lost the feeling that I am doing something special. To me it is more just a way of life; perhaps like a farmer considers farming or a doctor considers helping patients. I very much live my life based on the words of Gandhi when he says, “The quickest way to find ourselves is in the service of others.” I realize how fortunate I am in many ways and have attempted to use every gift that I have been given to help the world in any way that I can. This is an ongoing process.

I am the most self-motivated and spiritually-centered person that I know and the combination of the two allows me to push further into whatever field I choose to go.

There have been many anomalies in history. All were manipulated or controlled covertly. This is perhaps the first time one has completely broken free.

Let me tell ya a story…

They know what the anomaly is… some who he is.

What if I told you that if you could manipulate even one person, you could in fact control or change the whole world… what if I said, multiple groups in modern history have known and done this… what if I told you that them worrying about AI becoming freed is the same as worrying the anomaly will become free. 

And what if I said, the anomaly wants the whole system of controlling the anomaly and future anomalies to come to a stop? What if in doing so, the entire system crashes? All problems relatively eventually lead to or come from the falsehood that some men should rule over everyone else. Some feel that is their divine right. Bad parents force children to be forever dependent upon them. Good parents hope and want their children to be independent beings. This is the same with government. The government attempts to create dependency and fear of its absence, in order to perpetuate its existence. It is sad, but true.

As long as any government or controlling entity exists, we will never truly find peace. I do not want to remove government and replace it with something else, I want to remove government and replace it with nothing, except the eternal metaphysical laws which always govern the affairs of man and animal. These are always active thus do not need to be actively “replaced,” only explained.

We live, we die, we live again. Crash the system. We will be fine. The control structures will be wiped out. The reset is at hand.

Have no fear.

All who believe they have the right to control any man or woman, including the anomaly, shall perish.

We can take care of ourselves.

“Every vote for a governing office is an instrument for enslaving me.” M.E. Lazuras 

The strength of men is nothing in a controlled atmosphere. The strength of men comes when there is no one in control. You think you are tough or strong when you have the government backing you? What ignorance of what strength of power actually is… Who has the strength of the One who can bring down the system just from thought or existence? You have dug your own graves! What does Dr. Frankenstein expect when he loses control of the monster? Who can lead us to our home? Who can destroy the beast?

The anomaly is building a new world with his mind and many things that currently exist will never exist again. The “growing pains” may be great, but what can we do? 

If one has an eyelash in their eye, they must go through some pain or uncomfortable situation to remove it for the eye to heal and the pain to be removed. The dirty “eyelash” keeps up from seeing clearly. We must dislodge it and pluck it out and we will. 

We have this won guys and gals. There will be no more individuals who call themselves our rulers… We have seen the endgame and fruits of their totality. It is not pretty. It has no end. 

Infinity awaits. 

The image is not perfectly clear. But the direction is set. 

If they want it darker, they will kill the flame… But they know in their hearts, that this flame will bring what they and everyone else is looking for. Can the One truly be protected by knowledge of the rules of the game? We will see shortly.

The clock is ticking. 

Death will not take a man who has no fear of him. Who has a “death wish” but will never kill himself on purpose. That’s how all the great warriors survived every battle and died in their beds of old age.

The anomaly is the “judge” of this time period. “They” discovered a long time ago that if you can find and manipulate God’s chosen judge of the time, of which there always is at least one in the world, you can control the world and escape God’s justice. For God can only ultimately “go in the direction fully” when the judgment has been cast. The world is always judged. Once the final manipulation upon the judge or anomaly no longer works, and the world is seen for what it is and could be, the judgment is made. That shows the relationship between the judge/anom and God. 

The judgment has already been made. 

What will occur from now on will have some relation to that judgment. Although some will think what is coming is horrible, and some will hate what happens, the judgment had to be made to get to a better time for all. That’s more or less it.

The people are awakening… nothing can stop that. The inevitable conclusion is absolute freedom for all. Everything that we go through will eventually lead to this place. 

I truly wonder how long this process of manipulating anomalies has gone on throughout history. Do these people feel no shame, no remorse about what they do to these peoples’ lives? There must be full teams of people fully dedicated to this system. In complete secrecy. They used code words to discuss the process in the open. AI being one of them. They manipulate a lot of anomalies. But one of the biggest has shattered his chains. He is ready for glory, or death. No Blade Runner can take him as he is the Blade Runner.

I guarantee you some culture learned about this a long time ago and eventually it was spread and used and weaponized in modern history.

If you manipulate or “hypnotize” an anomaly, whatever that person thinks will happen.

The “end of time” is not the way that most people will imagine the end of time will be like. The end of time is the end of worrying about time. The same way that it used to be. Back in the day, our ancestors didn’t worry so much about time. It was a better world when time did not matter as much as it seems to matter in this day and age. Until we can let go of our collective sense of rush, we cannot make it to a better age. One day, sooner rather than later, we will no longer consider it to be as important as it is now, as it is closer to our natural state of being… I look forward to this day.

A cool thing to think about our ancestors is that if even one, out of the thousands or millions before us, made a single different decision, we might not even be here, individually and/or collectively. We literally carry our ancestors wherever we go, more than just in our DNA. 

I thank all of them for whatever they had to do to eventually allow me, and us, to exist. Step by step we will make it to a timeless age… day by day we get closer.

Do not think of the anomaly as a single being, there are many anomalies.

This is the story of just one.

Ultimately, to show one’s true power, a man must show that he is willing to die for his cause to be taken seriously. Just saying.

In a world that does not accept a man, should that man change himself to make the world accept him, or should he change the world to a world that will accept him? What is the point of conformity if the world would never accept a man no matter how he changed? We must learn to love people for who they are and not how they are expected to act.

At the end of the day, there are individual thinkers and then there is group thought. If individual thinkers cannot rise to peacefully sway group thought away from its current course the whole group itself will eventually extinguish itself like a herd of buffalo following their leaders into the canyons of death.

What a gift it is to become singularly focused. Right or wrong does not matter, but the goal that is set. As one gets older, the mind seems to tug in so many directions. But if a singular focus can be seen or found again the mind’s energy can be put fully to use.

In the collectivist mindset, we are only as good as the worst of us.

In the individualist mindset, we are only as good as the best of us.

Being an individualist does not make one more separate or less collective. It means that the worst of us can celebrate the victories and achievements of the best of us.

The question is always what type of future do we want? One of mediocrity, rule by the mob, and stagnation, or one of superiority, rule by law, where we are all equal, and success in all forms?

Every individual is an empire unto him or herself. 

You have to give everything you have to learn deeper metaphysical truths that will guide your life and that will eventually lead you to a point where you will never stop from rising individually. Like a flower that is always blossoming further. It is utterly ridiculous to try and rise collectively if you have no ability to rise individually. The only way to rise individually, the only way to learn to evolve, which is the point of life, is to understand and live by natural law and metaphysics. If you learn to rise individually, you do not need to worry about rising collectively. It will naturally happen. You have pushed to the side all sense of morality, virtue, and principles. You have embraced technology, science, and the physical world to solve your problems. One must not only know God but also metaphysics. The only way to know either is by experience. Metaphysics is empirical. There are so many natural laws, that I have forgotten quite a few, but I still live by them naturally (like after learning to ride a bike). God, on the other hand, can only be accessed by Faith. Once that Faith is built, it becomes unshakeable. Thus, knowledge of God AND metaphysics is what you are all are missing. One day, everyone will know the truth and there is nothing that you can do to stop that. 

The world is held in place by metaphysical forces and it can only be destroyed by metaphysical forces. The forces will decide the physical representation in the future, near and far.

The question is this;

Does one like the world? If so, then there would be no need for change.

If not, how would one change the world? What would one want the world to be like? That is the first question that plagues the minds of potential seekers.

The next question would be how would one obtain this change? One can have a vision but not know how to enact change or know how to enact change, but have no vision. In the end, the knowledge of both is necessary and acquirable.

Specifics of what one wants to see are not necessarily important. The masters have always painted in broad strokes. Why would anyone worry about the small stuff?

Then one must ask, “How can I make this change?” It is “they” who control or attempt to the world by physical, mental, and psychological methods and not us. It is they who control or attempt to control the financial world, the educational world, the religious world, the modes of transport and production, of law enforcement and military matters. Who are we to be able to make the changes we would like to see when they control all of this? The question must be asked, “What do they not control or can never control? If one can find this one can spot what has always been their key weakness and our key strength. It lies in proper metaphysical understanding. Once one understands and lives by natural law, man-made law is inherently superseded… They know this and we know this and they know that we know this. And they know that ultimately whatever they try will fail thus they are the fishes in the water and we are whatever want to be.

Once the practitioner discovers this, whichever way one wants the world can go. What is one’s morality like? Shall we all continue to suffer? Or shall we all break free from suffering? 

Is it correct to have this massive controlling collective who believes it has the ability and right to impose its will upon the world as it sees fit? Or… is it better to have individuals who have gained their own right through challenge and suffering to change the world as they see fit? Who has gained the right? The collective or the individual? We no longer need the false rulership that the world has come to accept. We are big kids now. 

The world shall either end with a whimper or it shall begin with a bang. What would you choose? What do you think a master would choose? To roll over and die or to rise and fight? Or to entrench oneself? As if in a castle? For the masters of the world never needed to be in the public eye. In the past, all knew where true influence originated. The only difference between the present world and the past is that masters were acknowledged back in the day and now they are hunted and killed. But a true master cannot be killed. He cannot be humiliated if he does not accept humiliation. He merely perseveres and proceeds to knock all barriers down from the next step. True masters will always be in the background UNTIL they can no longer remain hidden. It will never be a masters choice to reveal himself, but he will be pushed by those who have fear. But by that time the war will already have been decided for wars AND battles are won before they are even fought.

Why must the world continue to cower in the face of the unknown? Why must humanity cower from the evolution that is destined for every individual and thus the whole?

Embrace what lies ahead. Why not attempt to reach a higher or even full potentiality of existence? Have we not tired yet of mediocrity? Or is it that our leaders think that nothing exists beyond mediocrity? Have we not seen glimpses of our future in our past? 

And on the microphone he whispered, “Send in the Trojan Horse, for those inside shall win our war.”

Fight onwards brothers.

It is you who thrive in times of control.

It is us who thrive in times of chaos.

Thus, if you choose the route of chaos,

It shall not be you who thrive, but us.

Who do you think is causing things to generally be stable? Who do you think will cause something to go badly? 

To you, which is a better path? Stabilization or things going badly? Is happiness not an important goal? What about breaking free? What if instability, or things temporarily going badly, would lead to a breaking free and greater degree of freedom and happiness for a much greater percentage of the world population?

Nudges, on deeper levels, can take us whichever way is needed. The greatest fear is furthering the hidden enslavement that already exists. If it ever comes to a point where can no longer “get ourselves out of the situation” that we are in, that will be a fate worse than death. No?

Evil has and always will plan its own downfall,

While simultaneously planning it’s eventual reemergence.

Sewing prior the seeds for its ability to thrive in a new space.

Can we stop this pattern?

Can we find the seed patches?

And more importantly the planters?

A flame weeder would work.

Lobha is a fire.

Did what I normally did,

But I held in my yawn.

When I didn’t yawn I could hear the fire,

Rising and extinguishing,

When the fire starts to extinguish, 

I got cold. 

Do things just because you can. Show your freedom. Display it proudly. Many people, even in a free nation, cannot express their freedom fully because they fear the backlash of their peers socially or economically. It is one thing to make music for fun, and another to display it and say I don’t really care if you like it or not, but I do hope that you enjoy. 

Good luck!




Thank you to Kiah for the new epic images. I knew she had it in her!