The Real Conspiracy Behind the Impeachment of Donald Trump

A new theory came to me today as I was listening to the congressional trial for the impeachment of Trump. I have been trying to stay out of politics or analyzing politics, but I thought this was too important not to share. Thank you for watching.

The long story short is that to elude jail or potential assassination, Trump has actually given his blessing for his impeachment in order to exit government “gracefully”.

Furthermore, I decided to make a followup to the Path to Purification video that I made recently to talk about how people who are dependent upon prescribed meds, but would like to get off of them, can go about the process. It is possible to totally come off pharmaceutical meds, legal or illegal, in this process and I would encourage everyone to reach for an independent and self-sufficient body, mind and spirit.

I also talk about the society that would be built if the knowledge of purification became widespread, a bit what it would look like, and what would become obsolete. I believe it is inevitable that we reach this state of existence. We must be able to see the vision or goal before we can actually achieve it. I feel fortunate to see that vision and goal and that is why I am sharing it with the world.



The Videogame Epidemic

November 9th, 2019

This manuscript was written in 2014. Although I have wanted to edit it and make it up-to-date I believe it is better to publish it as is to show exactly what I was thinking about during this time period. The main change that I would make is that the epidemic has metastasized into a “videotronic epidemic”. Videotronic standing for videogames and/or any electronics that create addiction or cravings amongst the population. Lastly, I would say that that this technology does not have to be banned, nor given up forever. We must be fully aware of what it is capable of as well as how to purify ourselves and only then can we use this technology responsibly with true moderation. I find it important to post this article now as it saddens me to walk into the local grocery store, gym, school, park or wherever and see nine out of ten people just staring at their phones, using them for whatever reason and not being aware of the harmful effects that it is doing to themselves as well as others. With that said, thanks for reading.


The Videogame Epidemic 

By: David Eric Allen

15,004 words

November 2014

First page: “For my late mother, Stephanie, a truly wonderful soul. Without your constant source of positivity, support, and love, I would surely not still be here today.”

Notes: There is nothing stopping me, but myself. If you are in the writing mood and have got something important to say, then by all means write until you can’t write any longer. Make sure you are not “preaching” in this book, but “teaching”. “This is what I have learned; maybe it can help you too”. Find books on videogames, addiction, vipassana, dharma, and Socrates/Plato/Aristotle.

I promised the monks at Chiwang a large donation after this book is published because I conceptualized a lot of it there and they are sending constant “Tara’s Blessing.” So no slacking! This book is not going to be easy, but nothing worth doing ever has been.

List of things that must be proven or explained extremely well:

  1. Why is the world getting worse and worse? What is the underlying cause? – 1st of all, you must be a certain age to see the change. We risk getting to a time where people do not remember what it was like before and this is very dangerous. The world is losing its sense of morality that it has worked so hard to build over time. No one is connecting the dots. Those that try are not seeing the whole picture and are connecting the wrong dots. Can’t connect the dots because older people who may know the universal laws don’t play videogames. Young play games, but don’t know universal law. It takes an objective viewpoint who knows the ins and outs of both to connect them and see how it is affecting us all. 
  2. Universal and moral laws do exist. Discovered by Buddha and Socrates along with other philosopher and spiritual masters throughout different parts of the world. Knowledge of these leads to virtue. Ignorance automatically leads to vice.
  3. Addiction – “Small leads to big”- “Buried addiction is bound to rise later in life.” –“Addiction leads to mental and physical health problems and bad decision-making.”
  4. Negativity, or harsher word “evil”, as well as positivity or “good” have their own plans or goals in the world. The only way to carry these out is through people. Most of the time this is done passively or without awareness of consequences, at least negatively wise.
  5. Dharma – Gamers fill themselves with negativity while playing videogames and when they go back into the open society, this negativity releases to other non-gamers in exchange for their positivity. And this process is repeated over and over. This is the true reason for the downfall of society the past 30 years or the exponential progression. Videogamers send negativity into society. Meditators send positivity into society. They are opposites. Virtuous and foolish. To become virtuous, one must know what virtue actually is. There should be no confusion.
  • Preface 
  • Introduction 
  • Chapter 1 – My Personal Story
  • Chapter 2 – History of Videogaming  – Factors of Development What had to be invented before they came? Was it a grand design to enslave us or did it happen naturally?
  • Chapter 3 – History of Addiction 
  • Chapter 3 – Natural Laws: Mental science – Dharma, Karma, Positive-Negative Balance Theory
  • Chapter 4 – How this affects the world now and in the future
    • Where we are heading. Society is getting worse as videogames are getting bigger and better. Transition on purpose? Everyone is playing now and it is growing exponentially.
  • Chapter 5 – The Cure – Removal of ignorance – Removal of craving/addiction
    • Vipassana and knowledge of Dharma
  • Conclusion – The Videogame of Life


In writing this book, I ask for help from the indomitable human spirit to guide my words in removing a dangerous thorn from the side of Mother Nature. Doing so purely in a sense of duty, use me as an instrument to relay what you seek to explain to the world. I have no need, nor want, for fortune as I have seen where this leads, or fame as I consider the freedom of anonymity to be a priceless commodity that once lost is difficult to retrieve. 


I have written what you are about to read purely in a sense of “duty” for the indomitable human spirit, as well as Mother Nature Herself. To give a little nudge per se, to what I consider is, in the right direction. I have no need, nor want, for fortune as I have seen where this leads, or fame as I consider the freedom of anonymity to be a priceless commodity that once lost is difficult to retrieve.

In this book, of which is surely imperfect, I have attempted to inject a certain amount of philosophical and spiritual intellectual stimulation into current events, which will hopefully ignite a debate about why we are in the situation that we are in as a whole. While at the same time, making it simple enough that our youth, of who it is truly for, can certainly understand.  A balance must eventually be restored and it is only through them that this lofty ambition can be accomplished.

Hopefully, my story can inspire others or at least help to elucidate the pitfalls that are certainly avoidable. Every stage in one’s life from birth to old age is a stepping stone. If you miss one step, it tends to throw off the whole process, but it is not the end of the world.

This book is just as much for the future generations of “gamers” as it is for our present generation.   I have attempted to impart a message or vision that was slowly unfolded for me, which could possibly help relieve the pain and suffering for many in our current day and age. Furthermore, if it is successful in this goal for even one person, then I will consider it a victory. 

May all beings be relieved of their suffering.

May all beings be peaceful.

 May all beings be happy. 

And may all beings be liberated.

“I am a hole in the flute that the Christ’s breath moves through. Listen to the music.” – 14th century Sufi poet Hafiz


His disciples said, “Show us the place where you are, for we must seek it.” He said to them, “Anyone with two ears had better listen! There is light within a person of light, and it shines on the whole world. If it does not shine, it is dark.” – Gospel of Thomas 24

In all human beings, we are born with a natural tendency or “source” of positivity, which radiates love, joy, and bliss within our own bodies and to all those around us. This can be considered your innate “natural state.” If you have ever had a child or been around young children then perhaps this may be apparent to you. Babies are literally like little balls of pure love and positivity. Overtime, as children are exposed to more and more “adult” things, which many times encompass negativity, this “source” is slowly clogged up and the stream turns from “positive” to “neutral” or even “negative.” It is almost like a crust builds up and eventually a wall, where bits and pieces of the original pure positivity still trickle out, but on a whole it is blocked. Matthew 11:25 – “I praise You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and intelligent and have revealed them to infants.” Infants receive this gift almost like a “head start” in life, and for many this can be the only time to experience the natural state of positivity. As most are ignorant about the causes of negativity, they are constantly falling away from this natural state. Although most don’t remember the actual feeling, it exists and can be found again later in life.

Before videogames and other technological luxuries, this source would last for a much longer period into adulthood or even throughout one’s life. Now-a-days, with the influx of negative influences and distractions throughout today’s society, we are lucky if our youth have this source into their early teens or even as late toddlers. My main contention is that videogames are history’s greatest cause for clogging this source and many people are unknowingly pumping this in high doses to their children as soon as they can pick up a smart-phone. Videogames are the culmination or climax of technological harm that one can do to their own mind, surpassing television and the internet, which manifestly support videogames in their dominant pursuit. This growth of the “videogame epidemic” has drastically affected the world throughout the past twenty years and the results will be even more devastating in the future if we don’t do something about it now.

In recent history, we have begun to see a downfall in the quality of life, morality, and ethics within modern society. My theory is that the chief cause of this decline is because of the rise of videogames over the past three decades, starting with computers, and eventually moving on to consoles and handhelds. In the United States and across the world, the spread of the addiction to videogaming and the decline in society is not unconnected, but directly connected and the former is a direct, but currently unknown and unforeseen cause of the latter. This is primarily because of the unique and immense damage that videogames can do to the mind that can be explained by the mental science or universal law of dharma, which unfortunately the majority of the world’s population is currently ignorant of. Because of this ignorance, society should not be blamed; for if they knew the truth, they would be less likely to do this harm to themselves or to their children. Socrates believed that no man knowingly does wrong, and I believe this is certainly true in this case.

It seems that playing videogames is a harmless activity, but this isn’t true. For one who has no serious addictions, a videogame addiction can be a “jumpstart” that cranks up the craving part of the mind. Because of how immersive games have become, as well as the rapid decision-making which necessarily involves constant unconscious cravings and aversions, even in a short period they can cause a lasting effect. This mind-altering effect can exponentially increase the more one becomes attached to their game of choice and continues to devote time to.  Our conscious minds cannot react fast enough in making decisions when playing videogames so we invite the unconscious to react for us. Instead of acting neutrally, we react in a craving manner with unconscious thoughts of ‘I like this,’ and ‘I dislike this,’ engraining into our evaluating mind at an excessive rate. This is tantamount to opening the castle door to let the invading army in through the front gate. 

We make a decision which causes an event to happen that we like or dislike, which forces us to make another reactionary decision, and this occurs over and over unconsciously in the reactionary mind. The more that we allow our unconscious reactions to build our sense of right and wrong, like and dislike, the more harm we are ultimately causing ourselves. The sensations from videogames occur so rapidly, we cannot be aware of them all. Meditation, on the other hand, is the exact opposite. We slow down the incoming sensations to where we can consciously be aware of each one and not react to them, being purely with awareness and equanimity. By not reacting, we purify ourselves of negativity, restoring us to our natural state of positivity. Negativity is essentially a combination of an enlarged ego stemming from ignorance, addictions that come from craving sensations within the mind, and hatred that develops as the advanced form of aversion.

Children and adults are spending an inordinate amount of time these days playing videogames either in front of their televisions, computers, or phones adding “negativity” to their source centers and slowly “wasting away” whatever trace of natural positivity they have left. Almost like zombies, a properly addicted gamer can be nearly impossible to pry away from their game of choice. I should know for I have been in this “highly-addicted” stage many times and with many different games. When someone reaches the level that cleanliness, social contact, and even food can be considered optional, then you can be quite sure that person is probably an addict. On the other hand, many people believe someone must be dependent to a certain extent before being labeled an addict, but this isn’t quite true. Someone can be highly or lightly addicted, but both are still an addict and one doesn’t have to “go to rehab” to be considered to have a problem. For the addict, it can be a heavenly feeling to be so immersed in their fictional gaming world, in what seems an innocent act. Conversely, for anyone dealing with someone like this, it can be a living hell seeing a transformation from an active member of the family or society into a non-functioning member. 

This addiction can ruin lives and relationships just as easy as a drug or alcohol problem. It can and does compete with the most addictive substances and one of its biggest appeal is that people justify themselves by believing one is “doing nothing wrong”. There is little to no social stigma against videogames at the moment. Even when I was younger “gamers” were considered to be “nerdy”, which is a form of social stigma. Now it is considered “cool” to be good at videogames. Drugs and alcohol have an appropriately negative social stigma to where people tend to feel bad about themselves if they have a problem with either. This is not the case for videogaming and the social stigma is actually receding as more and more people begin to play. Furthermore, whereas drugs are typically expensive, at least on an ongoing basis, videogames are extremely cheap or even free these days.

In contract to past forms of addiction, videogames lead to an advanced form of dependence, which can get you hooked in areas where other addictions can’t reach. It is extremely important to note that an early videogame addiction can lead to other forms of addiction throughout the life. This was the case for me and I struggled with nearly every type of addiction as I got older. I always wondered why this was so as neither of my parents, nor my grandparents had any noticeable addictions as I grew up. Throughout all my addictions, videogames were the hardest to eventually give up and little did I know that they were the cause for the rest of my problems. After I figured out what they were actually doing to me, only then was it easy for me to stop playing. Once my ignorance was removed about the harmful mental side effects, it became much easier to get off and stay off this advanced addiction. This is the purpose of this book; to remove the ignorance present in society about what videogames do the individual mind, and through the individual the collective consciousness (or unconsciousness?) that connects us all.

There are many who will be able to relate to this book because of similar videogame addictions or habits, whether big or small. There are also many who cannot personally relate but maybe have known someone in the past that was addicted and could see what it was doing to them or how it transformed them. This transformation is taking place in individuals on a global level, slowly but surely. Although it negatively affects many people now, it will influence many more in the future as this epidemic is picking up steam and it is only going to get worse unless something drastic changes. Unless new knowledge is released to the consumer about its true side effects, we will continue to see the world slip immorally into a societal disaster.

I tend to view the world as a whole with a specific purpose, rather than an unconnected totally random mix of individual organisms, vying for supremacy. There is a logical and observable natural order about the universe, even if for many it seems otherwise. Furthermore, there are goals to be reached, even if they are not the final goals, but merely stepping stones for the next level. We cannot even see the next stepping stone until we overcome our current problems. Furthermore, throughout history, humanity has been forced to come together to conquer immeasurable difficulties in order to proceed forwards on the path of progress. Sometimes on the path, however, we can get lost in the” jungle of life.” The best solution is not always to continue to push forward, which would only make us more lost, but to backtrack and retrace our steps to where the correct path lies. From there we can then push forward on out to clearer paths and clearer skies.

In this “jungle”, there is an entity, which styles itself as the “enemy” of our progress.  Sort of like the “bad guy” in modern wrestling.  Behind the scenes, he is not actually a bad guy, but is playing a necessary role in order to push on the show. The “bad guys” face may continually change, but usually it is easy to differentiate between the hero and the villain. That is until it changes its tactic and the “wolf” puts on the sheep’s clothing. I call this bad guy or villain, “negativity”, and the good guy or hero, “positivity”. We will explore later though that both are actually “on the same team” and this dichotomy is necessary for “real” progress to be made. The only way we would know what the definition of “good” is, is by knowing what “evil” entails. Many would argue that evil doesn’t exist on its own, but is just a lack of good. This holds true for other pairs of opposites such as hot and cold, love and hate, limited and unlimited, etc. There is a harmony of opposites and even spiritualism needs materialism in order to be considered spiritual at all. 

Negativity has an unlimited set of tools at its disposal and it is important to recognize them for what they are as they change from generation to generation. Videogames are just the newest “tool” that negativity has “built” over time to accomplish its own goals. (Expound)

It is important to note that even if you or your children do not play videogames, you are still both affected by the negative sources of other children and adults who do play. Even one member of a family who plays can and does affect or “infect” the entire family. I will explain more about this “overflow” from one person to another later on.

(Add more here) One can only have an intellectual understanding of truth if one hears or reads about it, whereas direct experience is a much stronger base to rely an argument on. The major topics in this book I believe I have directly experienced and so I feel confident enough to write about the subjects as an expert. Most of the information in this book is not philosophically or spiritually original, but it seems that no one is effectively connecting the dots of how technological luxuries, with videogames as the culmination, are creating great harm for our minds dharmically. Furthermore, society seems to have progressed to a point that it is no longer heeding the wisdom passed down from history’s philosophical and spiritual elders.

It is a huge worry of mine that our children, and the future generations, will think that the current paradigm of society has always been this way. If everyone is suffering from the same disease, it is easy to think that it is just normal human nature. I thought so as well until I began traveling outside of the U.S. and directly experiencing how “normal” people actually behave; “normal” people meaning those who are not constantly distracted and given in to negative influences and trivial pursuits.  It is important to differentiate when traveling whether one is a “tourist” or a “temporary resident” who participates in an active role within the affairs of the community, because the experience received does vary. A tourist may not notice a difference between his own home and the tourist area. This realization that another way of life exists was life-changing for me and gave me great hope that the experience I was receiving in the U.S. was perhaps illusory or at least not always the way it had been. 

The apparent lack of true community, as well as society, and general negativity that pervades the American population is merely a conditioned and temporary state. The population, to such an extent, is “so sick” that they are unaware of their “sickness”. Furthermore, unless the cause is found and properly investigated, the patient will continue to be sick until it leads to their death. One of the most fundamental hopes that drives me is that the eventual transformation from a miserable “negative” society to a healthy “positive” society will be all the more apparent and glorious to behold and be a part of. I am confident that this change will happen within our lifetime.

The bubonic plague, or ‘Black Death’ as it was eventually known as, killed tens of millions of people over a 300 year period from 1320-1620 AD. People knew there was a very harmful epidemic in the middle ages that was destroying society, but they never knew what the cause was. The cause of this disease was unknown until they discovered rats were responsible for carrying the plague from town to town. Eventually, the introduction of cats and non-disease carrying rats reduced the diseased rats population, and the plague’s 300 year reign of terror was over.

Now I am not trying to say that our current issue with videogame addiction is the same as the bubonic plague, but I am trying to make the point that if this were to spread for another 300 years, the “epidemic” of videogame addiction will be of such proportions that life would no longer exist in the form that we know it. Just because the plague threatened one’s physical life and perhaps our videogame epidemic only threatens the moral “quality of life” does not make one less serious than the other. Losing our sense of morality harms more than just the body, but also the Being within us; many have worked hard to get to where they currently are, and videogames are so dangerous they are neutralizing lives of hard work. The will of the people was never lost or threatened during the plague, and yet that is what we are at risk of losing during our current epidemic of videogame addiction. The will to work hard and the will to build something bigger then ourselves are both simultaneously being shattered. If this book has its intended effect, we can solve the riddle of our current epidemic and save ourselves decades or centuries of pain and collective suicide.

One major difference between the two is that one was externally caused and the other is self-caused. It is easier to come together as a world society to defeat something that is externally caused, than something that is brought upon the self willfully. Furthermore, people are willing to overlook their differences or not go to war over trivialities when there is an externally-caused disease affecting everyone. The plague was easily recognizable, whereas the videogame epidemic has spread extremely stealthily. During the plague, people could easily discern that there was a disease killing people and they needed to fix this problem. On the other hand, people today may not even sense there is a problem since it is sneakily damaging the mental level of society, which affects the physical and emotional levels after the fact. Furthermore, even if they recognize there is a problem, they have no idea where to start looking. This is how stealthily this is growing and we are going to reach a stage where people do not remember any other way. People may not be aware of the true harmfulness of videogames for many years to come unless we begin to think about it now. 

Something self-caused, when we learn the full extent of its harm, is detrimental to the individual’s inner Being and not just the mental-physical body. This is why the videogame epidemic is more dangerous than the plague. Furthermore, although it may not seem harmful if you don’t play them, the videogame epidemic affects us all even if it only affects a small percentage of people who actively play videogames. Whatever this percentage currently is, which I expect to be high, it is surely going to rise in the future as more and more people fall to this sickness. People from all walks of life are playing now from our elderly great grandmothers to our little baby sisters.

Go out to dinner these days and what do you see? Less and less families are participating in actual conversation, or if they do it is meaningless and mechanistic. Even married or dating couples have little interest in each other. You see people immersed in their phones, either checking email or Facebook, and just as likely they are playing the new most addictive videogames. Our families are falling apart because of these issues. I can’t remember how many times I have been out and seen every member of a family or group of friends staring at their phones and usually playing some silly game. Our divorce rate in the U.S. is over 50%! Why might this be? It could be because people don’t spend enough time getting to know who they are going to marry because they are too busy on their gaming-phones. More importantly, through these addictions they are ruining the balance of their mind which makes a relationship of quality impossible. 

I do not believe videogames are the sole problem, but I am fully convinced that they are the highest stage of harm we can do to our own minds; the culmination or climax of technological harm that we can inflict on ourselves and others. Ultimately, the things that once gave you pleasure no longer do so and you either have to enhance the quality or increase the quantity of the given external substance. This is addiction in a nutshell. True happiness from inside needs no increase as it fully satisfies at all times. Once the cause has been found, the disease can be treated. Once the danger is known, the trap becomes avoidable. Additionally, even if one has become addicted to videogames, there is a way out. If one such as me who has been at the pinnacle of addiction in many forms and especially videogames can find total salvation from all cravings, then anyone can do the same. Addiction is a universal problem, and a universal problem needs a universal solution, which there is one. Whether individually, or on a societal level, we must go through steps to fix the situation. Admission of a problem is the first stage, knowledge and awareness is the second, and lastly action and forgiveness is the last.

The technology for a videogame addiction is so new historically-wise that it is an exogenesis. Very few people could have imagined it only a short time ago. This problem is so new that most don’t even consider it a problem; it literally “snuck up on us”. For example, I can speculate or idealize only to a certain point because I only have what knowledge is available now to build an idea of the way the future may be like. As technological inventions have rapidly progressed over the past half-century, it would have been very difficult to predict videogaming and the resulting addiction to be as prevalent as it is today.  As new “building blocks” of information become available then the speculation or idealization about the future also changes with them. Perhaps the building blocks were there, but we were merely unaware of them. 

One of the greatest dangers that make the videogame epidemic unique is that there is not a social stigma against playing them. Or if there is, this social stigma is actually being reduced as time goes by and new generations of people find themselves playing games. If “everyone is doing it” how can a social stigma form or continue to spread? Since they are not stigmatized like say drugs, drinking, gambling, or philandering, people feel it is not a big deal if they take part in them or even give them to their children. Furthermore, people are ignorant of how they can negatively affect their minds, as well as health. Mental health is a precursor to physical health, not visa-versa as many people imagine. On a whole, people are unaware of how their minds work and how addiction, whether big or small, can change a person or entire family. All big addictions, it must be considered true, start from small ones. I believe once people will realize how these addictions affect society on a whole, and not just personally, they will quit. 

Our minds are constantly changing throughout our lives. Have you ever watched a movie again and again throughout your life and noticed something new each time or even changed your mind on whether you really liked it or not? This is because your intellect is in a constant refining, culturing, and maturing process as you get older, evolving what it is capable of understanding as time passes by.  If you had a favorite movie when you were younger and then watched it as an adult, but thought it was only “so-so” or, the other way around, you liked a movie later on that you hated when you were younger, that is a result of the maturing process of the intellect. On a whole, a healthy mind will go through this process as one gets older and experiences more and more. This is very positive and why historically we have put much value in our elders, because of their fully mature and rational minds.

 Many people from their addiction to videogames are becoming “stunted” and this maturing of the intellect is not taking place. They are incapable of changing their perspective as life goes by and wrongly believe that what they currently hold to be true will always be true to them. A changing and maturing mind is a necessity to wholeness and a beneficial aspect of the natural aging process.  Furthermore, the ability to be humble enough to change one’s perspective and mind is extremely important. Another example is that I can only write or try to convey what is true to me. It may currently be “false” to you, but one day it may become “true” to you as well. This is perfectly fine and occurs naturally in a refining mind, which ultimately seeks an ethical and rational end.

Our individual battles to overcome obstacles are just miniscule versions of the battles that the universe faces. The more we are capable of overcoming them individually, the more we are capable as a whole. (This could be said in better words. I like the way Hegel puts it) Our individual spirit’s goal is self-realization. The “world-spirit’s” goal is self-realization. The only way the “world-spirit” can accomplish this is through the individual’s efforts at self-realization, not the other way around. Self-realization leads to perfection. For too long I have heard people say perfection is not possible, so there is no point in trying. This is a sham. Perfection has been reached by many individuals throughout history. If this possibility existed in them, it exists in us. We just have to know how to find it. The very fact that a pyramid of good, better, and best exists should prove that divine perfection is attainable. If the world’s goal is perfection, the only way this is possible is if there is individual effort for perfection. (Perhaps move this paragraph to later in book)

If you do something that you believe is non-harmful to you, but in reality it is harmful, it will still affect you the same way either way. If you eat unhealthy food that you considered to be healthy, you will still get fat. Just because you think it is ok, this won’t change the outcome. Furthermore, once you do something negative, even if you think it is fine, it will lead you to do other negative things in the future. That is why it is important to label “videogaming” for what it is; “mentally harmful” or “negative”. Not just put a label on the package, but brand it in society properly with the social stigma that it deserves. If you want your children to grow up and have a better shot at leading a rewarding and virtuous life, abstaining from harmful substances and activities, then don’t let them play videogames. It’s as simple as that. Label it for what it is. Don’t sell drugs and label it as candy.

Throughout history, meditation has been a major advancer of the overall good. A “force-multiplier” or “game-changer” that can literally turn tyrants into saints, as can be seen in many rulers including Emperor Asoka the Great, who was once Asoka the Cruel. If meditation is the force-multiplier of positivity, then my contention is that videogames are the force-multiplier or game-changer for negativity. Hundreds of years of technology have been developed just for this purpose; to introduce videogames to the world. They are essentially polar opposites in what they do to your mind. Meditation has existed since time began or there was a mind that could actually meditate. Videogames have just showed up and are already taking over, because people are unaware and ignorant of how powerful they actually are. 

“Negativity” itself has overtime changed the parameters of what “negativity” entails. Even in my youth I was sure I was a positive person even though I was strife with internal negativity, on the whole unaware. Negativity has succeeded in changing the parameters primarily to confuse people. Once one knows the law of dharma and the technique to purify oneself, only then can one detect their level of “positivity-negativity”. Before that it is purely intellectual.

There have been cases of people dying of exhaustion playing videogames for day’s straight (research), but I think the real health danger can be seen on a longer timeline. Sometimes the “ticking time-bomb” of bad health can be more harmful then a temporary bout of bad health due to consumption of alcohol or drug use, which can be overcome, even though I highly recommend against trying either. If one does not have a strong foundation of health, which a videogame addiction from a young age can prohibit, then health problems will persist throughout the life.

Overall, the videogame addiction is here and now and it is slowly taking over one individual at a time. In our society, it causes the exact opposite effect of what meditation has done in the past. Instead of purifying people’s minds, it is toxifying it, causing it to unconsciously react with craving and aversion throughout one’s daily life. Whereas mediation has been a force for good or virtue throughout history, videogames are already becoming a force for bad or vice. Unless we can come to terms with this fact soon rather than later, this stealthily spreading epidemic will continue to ravage our children’s, as well as adults’, minds.

(Introduction needs some work, needs a bit more structure perhaps mirroring the structure of the total book, it’s a work in progress)

Chapter 1 – My Personal Story

Hello my name is David and I am a videogaming addict. Or at least I was one off and on for over 25 years, but I’ve been “clean” since January of 2014. No, I never went to a “videogaming addicts anonymous” meeting, but would have given it serious thought if there was one available when I was younger. Unfortunately, there is an extreme lack of actual information or help on videogame addiction as a whole. (Add more later)

I can still remember the first time I played a videogame when I was 3 or 4 years old. My father brought home a brand new Nintendo NES with Super Mario Brothers and Duck Hunt. Mashing buttons and watching Mario break boxes was great even then. I still cannot grasp how the Duck Hunt gun was able to sync with televisions in the 1980s, but that is beside the point. This combination of guns and gaming was a sign of things to come and now “shooters”, as they are called, occupy a high percentage of videogames today. It is interesting how we started with ducks and have progressed to people, cops, etc. I was hooked even then.

I remember soon afterwards my father subscribed us to Nintendo’s monthly magazine and on the first cover was none other than Final Fantasy I. This series would play a major role in my addiction growing up as games used to be primarily single-player and these were the crème-de-la-crème of single-player fantasy games. It is such a successful franchise, that they are now going on Final Fantasy 15 and beyond. One day at our local Wal-Mart with my uncle Doug, I saw the game on the shelf and asked him if he would buy it for me. After a bit of smoozing, the new game was mine.

Anyone that has played the early Final Fantasy games will know that it is quite a bit more advanced than Super Mario Brothers or Duck Hunt. Most importantly, it required knowing how to read. A little problem I had not yet overcome. The Nintendo happened to be in my parents’ bedroom and I remember playing before pre-school, asking them while they were getting ready for work if they could read what the characters were saying.  If you couldn’t understand them then it was impossible to proceed in the game. Nonetheless, I enjoyed it immensely, even just seeing the characters “hit” and “kill” creatures. “Hitting” and “killing” things seems to be in our blood so doing so even in a virtual form at such a young age excited me. 

As a few years passed, new incredible games, as well as higher graphic consoles continued to flood the market and therefore my mind. My father continued to buy us the newest games and systems because he himself was addicted and he thought he was doing good by making my brother and I happy, while at the same time “spending time” with us. Even before the Nintendo, I remember sitting on his lap and watching him play videogames on his old computer. Something I would continue to do, as computer gaming early on was much further advanced then console gaming for many years to come. Even in our local “Little Mr. Dogwood” pageant, when they asked me what my father did for a living, I responded, “He likes to play with his ‘puter,” as I couldn’t quite say “computer” at the time. Since the crowd died laughing, I ended up eventually winning that year.

It is important to note that there is a difference between children who start playing videogames when they are very young compared to children or even adults who do not play videogames for the first time until they are older. For me, videogames always existed in my life. I do not have memories of a time before videogames so that I could compare what my life was like before. It seemed to me that they were just a “part of life” and that all people used them like I did. I think this played an important role in the “non-questioning” of my addiction to videogames growing up. To me it didn’t seem that there was any other way of life, constantly escaping to videogames throughout my childhood. 

I think my addiction was exasperated by the fact that every time I would get tired of a game or even playing all together, a new game would come out or an upgraded system which would totally recharge my addiction, therefore giving me a new reason to play. It seemed every time I would “give up” or stop playing videogames, a new one would come out and pull me back in. This “upgrading” or “pullback factor” is unique in addiction and does not exist in substance abuse. Once you have had the best alcohol and best drugs, you know what they are like. They don’t have a yearly or bi-yearly upgrade or “expansion” like videogames do. This problem still exists in the fact that new games are constantly emerging which keeps people from losing interest, but I think it is not as prevalent as when I was younger. It seemed every latest system from Nintendo to Genesis to Super Nintendo to PlayStation and Xbox was a huge leap forwards in all aspects. It was an enamoring experience to try out new generation systems back then. 

Now-a-days, we have sort of reached the threshold graphic-wise, but are still progressing in terms of connectivity, soon-to-be mass virtual reality, and overall pure addictiveness. It is as if they have learned what the most addictive attributes in games are, they then combine them and re-distribute them in new packages, but with a different name. In reality, they are just the same games being recycled over and over with fresh levels, new characters, and upgraded weapons. Furthermore, the movement to smart-phone gaming and independent game design with a click-and-buy marketplace has totally changed the video-gaming industry over the past few years. There are literally new games coming out every day, even though most are just copies of the most successful designs. Many are free-to-play, so with a smart-phone it is possible to play a different free high quality game every single day without playing the same game twice and without paying a cent. The free-to-play model makes money from in-game purchases and has also revolutionized the business. A kid with a credit card and a smart-phone is infinitely more dangerous than a kid with a credit card in a candy store as there is seemingly no limit to the amount of “virtual goods” one can rack up.  This is a huge progression in the industry for gamers and developers.

I was a pretty good athlete growing up playing baseball, basketball, track and football religiously and this was a huge “neutralizer” for the negativity that I was acquiring playing videogames, which I played just as religiously. In high school I would spend nearly every hour I was not at school or participating in sports, playing videogames. I suffered many injuries including a broken spine that perhaps would have been avoided if my system was not weakened from the negativity of playing videogames. I am lucky to have not been paralyzed for life, but I was back on the field within a few months. In general, I had an overall apathetic and lazy feeling from my teenage years until recently when I learned how to meditate and my videogaming decreased and eventually ceased. In contrast to my late teens and early 20s, I now feel constantly energized and not as apathetic as I did before.

I had a very rough childhood growing up in a “dysfunctional” household. Not so much that there were external problems, as we had everything that we needed materially, but there was a tremendous amount of fighting and negativity that seemed to never go away. Throughout my life, I had wondered why this was and why there was so much hatred and anger in my father towards my brother, my mother, and I. I now know that it was primarily because of his own videogaming addiction that he acted the way that he did to us. This caused an overbearing amount of negativity on top of the other issues that he was dealing with at the time. My brother and I were also heavily addicted so this created a disastrous amount of pent-up negativity in all three of us. He was the only person that I ever had a problem with growing up and he could flip his mood bi-polarly from one second to the next and at the drop of a hat. I would never know whether he would be nice or angry and so I tried to stay away from him as much as possible. Every time I would rebuild my trust in him, he would always on cue shatter it once again, like an infected scab that could never fully heal. This can be devastating for a young adolescent’s mind.

A negative individual itself is bad, but is much worse when combined with other negative individuals so we clashed aggressively. My father was never physical with us, but his emotional and verbal abuse drove me to thoughts of suicide for many years. Without the purity and love and positivity of my mother, I would probably not still be here today. And yet how can I blame him now when all of us were ignorant of the harm that videogames were doing to us; the negativity literally took control of us and was the cause of each of our fights. 

When you are young you naturally get a “head-start” and have lee-way with the negativity that tries to enter and control your life, especially when you are growing and active in sports. Once you get to a certain age though, if you don’t stay physically active and have problems in other parts of your life, negativity can overtake you, turning into pure rage, anger, and hatred and I believe this is what happened to my dad. This is important to note, that perhaps in the past the world had the same problems or negativity that would consist of “normal” life, but the recent addition of the extra “bump” of videogame addiction, which is actually significant, overpowers those that would have in the past been able to cope. It changes people who would have been positive to neutral, and neutral to negative, and negative to highly negative, unstable, and seemingly “evil”. This throws a huge wrench into the “normality” of society and you are left with an imbalance of very few positive people and many more highly negative or even “evil” people.

Eventually with this constant fighting I had to increase my “escape” and so turned to alcohol and marijuana, which would eventually lead to harder drugs as I got older. After I graduated from high school, I succeeded in my plan to get as far away from my dad as possible and went to college in Orlando, Florida. Anywhere I would have gone would have been fine as long as I was not near him. Two years later, my brother followed me to Florida and in essence we left my mom and little sister to “soak up” his negativity. I am sure that if I would have known then what I know now, then I would not have left them there alone with him. 

Many times before and after graduating from high school, he was very sick because an overflow of negativity causes terrible physical problems, especially after a certain age, but our relationship was so bad that I would not have cared in the least if he would have died there and then. That is how much I hated him for the way he treated us. Only a few years ago we got into another fight and I remember telling him something like, “I love you more when I am not around you.” It’s funny how that was a pre-cursor to my knowledge now of how dharma balances positivity and negativity between individuals. I knew it to be true then, but couldn’t quite solve the reason why.

Throughout college, I did not play videogames as much as I did when I was in high school, primarily because I was not trying to escape from my father, but eventually my cravings or old addiction arose and was filled by other means. I didn’t really have time for videogames with school, but the hardships of college eventually led me to new escapes of partying, drinking, doing drugs, and constantly looking to hook up with new girls. Although during my summer and winter breaks going home, I would fall right back into the habit and start playing whatever new game expansions had been released, doing whatever it took to keep out of the sight of my father. Luckily, I somehow still graduated with a Bachelor’s degree of History in four years and with decent grades.

(Should I go into specific games I played growing up or do this in the chapter on gaming history? Computer games: huge into strategy games which were unavailable on consoles. Dune, Command and Conquer, StarCraft/War craft, Fallout. On Nintendo 64, Golden-Eye was pre-cursor to all modern “shooters”. NFL Blitz. Add about playing hooky and staying up without sleep playing Counter-Strike and other games. World of Warcraft was a huge addiction and “pullbacker” since it was released. Last game I was hardcore addicted to and probably the most out of all was EVE. The most addictive as it was the most difficult. Once you were good, you “were somebody” as it is a sandbox game, which means it is possible to meet and fight anyone else in the entire MMORG in the game. There are not multiple servers like other games; just one giant one Even when you aren’t playing, your character still progresses on a training schedule so you are still technically connected in a way. You don’t want to cancel your account and it gives you a reason to logon to update your training. Plus, you can actually lose or gain lots of real-world money so this plays a huge realistic and addictive factor. CCP allows “evil” to happen in a “buyer beware” type world. People get screwed out of tens of thousands of dollars every day; the way I heard about it was a heist where a guy made off with $80,000 in one long investment heist, not chump change. There are very few rules that stop people from being “bad” in this game. Lastly, it is like no other game in the true “rush” experience that is received which makes it the most addictive. This was the last game I played and finally gave up.)

Should I talk about what happened to Mom? She always hated us playing games. I feel like she would want me to as I still think that the negativity that came from games had something to do with what happened to her. She needed our true love (because of what happened to her own mom) and not just love that we showed externally. Very delicate subject but I think it would help the book and cause.

I initially conceived of the idea for “The Videogame Epidemic” in January of 2014, while at a meditation retreat in Kaufman, Texas. For the previous year, I had been practicing a very beneficial result-oriented form of meditation called vipassana. Vipassana literally means “seeing things the way they really are.” This technique was re-discovered by Gautama the Buddha 2,600 years ago in Northern India. It spread for 500 years, but was lost again to humanity for 2,000 years surviving only in Burma from guru to disciple. It was re-discovered in Burma and brought to India by my teacher S.N. Goenka nearly fifty years ago and has continued to spread across the world ever since. 

In this meditation, if one continues to hold a foundation of morality called “sila” then they will not lose their physical and mental health benefits that they have received as a result. The foundation includes five main precepts including no lying, no stealing, no killing any living beings, no sexual misconduct, and no intoxicants. For many people unacquainted with abstaining or restraining oneself, this may seem difficult, but the benefits are such that it becomes easy over time. So to keep my benefits I held my sila, but I had noticed over the past year that any time I had started to play videogames again, I would lose my benefits and self-control and start craving for sense pleasures again like drinking, drugs, and sexual relations.

This particular retreat also happened to be my brother’s first time to learn the technique of vipassana. Additionally, my brother was also a videogame addict like me at the time. I worried how he was going to react when I told him that playing videogames would ruin all of his progress. When I was thinking of the best way to tell him if he continued playing afterwards he would lose all the benefits, the realization of the “videogame epidemic” slowly started to unfold itself. Like light bulbs flashing, things just started to progressively click in my head.  Over time, the understanding of videogames as the reason for many of my childhood problems, as well as many of the world’s problems, slowly trickled into my mind. This trickle eventually turned into a stream and finally a river. Suddenly, my whole life started to make more sense, as well as why the U.S. and world was the way it currently was. Both questions had plagued me for most my life of why my childhood had been the way it was and why the world was currently in a state of de-function. Before this time, I just couldn’t put my finger on it even though the answer was literally staring me in the face.

If you, like me, have had or are now looking for an answer to why your childhood was the way it was or why the world is the way it is, then perhaps this epiphany is true for you too. If you have ever found a single answer to the question of why your childhood was dysfunctional and why the world is in a downward spiral, it can be an extremely gratifying and enlightening “a-ha” experience. When or if an ‘a-ha’ moment like this occurs for you, you will know it immediately to be true. For I take truth to mean that which satisfies the intellect, and my intellect had been dissatisfied searching for these reasons for a very long time. Finally something came along that made sense and as I analyzed it further, it only continued to strengthen, bearing more fruit and unfolding the truth clearly in my mind. 

At the retreat, you are supposed to restrain thinking or at least conscious conceptualization in unfolding new knowledge, but I couldn’t contain this newfound gem of an idea. Since you take a vow of silence for ten days, I had no one to share it with but this actually made it easier to analyze and self-doubt. Overtime it became a universal truth to me that videogames are the most harmful self-caused infliction we could possibly do to ourselves. 

It is important to analyze the history of videogaming to understand how we have got to this point. How can people become addicts to technological luxuries so easily? How are parents not connecting the dots and letting their children ruin their own childhoods? 

Chapter 2 – History of Videogaming –How did it come about? What had to happen? – Invention of computers, television, internet, cellphones, ancient love of playing games. My belief all were developed for the end of videogames. Bible quote – End times Devil will provide something that people will hang themselves with. I always asked what this could be?

I can still remember in the late 80’s and early 90’s, the U.S. was a different place to live in. There wasn’t so much hostility, greed, and overall negativity or at least where I was from. This change became more and more apparent in the late-90’s until today, perfectly coinciding with the rise of videogames. Most people will say that many things could be the reason or cause for this, but videogames are the one new unique invention that coincided with this time. Even the internet is just an innovation of communication and information. It could certainly be made a case it has caused a large amount of “negativity,” but it doesn’t immerse the user in a full-sensation experience that mimics real-life like videogames do. The internet can be highly addictive, but not to the level that games can. 

My contention is that with the invention and spread of the internet, after gaming was already established, the goliath of videogame addiction started to reach its full potential. Beforehand, games were mostly single-player, making them slightly less damaging and less addictive, or LAN-based multiplayer which forced gamers to be within certain proximity of each other. Now the world was connected and the infection could spread globally. Another huge problem internet gaming has caused is it now gives gamers and excuse to constantly play saying things like “Oh I am just playing to stay in contact with friends,” or “Look, I am being social… I am talking with real people.” I have noticed many gamers use these excuses as a reason to overlook their addiction. 

It’s now possible to play videogames every waking hour on a computer, television, or phone with anyone across the world. This is quite a remarkable jump in progress and was unimaginable to most even two to three decades ago. Whether it is at home or at work, or while eating, or at church, or the bus stop or whenever, gamers can get their “fix” with little to no noticeable side-effects or immediate change from before to after. This is unique to addiction in that, in the past, addicts had to be sneaky as they could only fulfill their craving at a certain place or time. Furthermore, the overall image of an addict, as well as difference between before and after usage had occurred is very noticeable.

I think the emergence of smart-phones and specifically the iPhone, with its independent game designer support and implementation of an “App Store” to purchase games, has been the most recent thrust upwards for gaming addiction. Whereas, the internet connected addicts, the smart-phone has made it universally acceptable and reachable for the world’s population, whatever the age, race, or social class. With how cheap games can be (even free) and with how many new ones are constantly available, the stage is set for videogame addiction to reach new heights and although it may seem slightly far-fetched and diabolical, begin its conquest to take control of the world.

Chapter 3 – History of Addiction 

“Virtue is knowledge, Vice is ignorance” – Socrates – Basically, “no one knowingly does wrong.” They are ignorant of the law or what constitutes virtue. Only way to be virtuous is to be knowledgeable of the concepts of reason, which constitute universal and moral laws. If you are ignorant of the laws, this naturally leads to vice.

  • For this book, it must be made extremely evident that small addictions eventually lead to big ones,” “addictions unfilled don’t just leave the mind, they are buried deeper inside. These eventually lead to other addictions later in life,” and “addiction leads to physical and mental health problems.” These three MUST be proved to make the case.

The videogame addiction is what I like to call an “advanced addiction.” Whereas substance abuse affects a specific part of the mind, videogaming spreads its claws into multiple parts because of how sensation-based it is on so many levels. We become addicted to the sight, sound, feeling, and thought of videogames. They provide an amazing escape from reality and the sheer variety of videogames ensures that nearly anyone can find a subject that suits their fancy.

It is important to note, it is not so much the subject matter of videogames that is directly harmful to the mind, even though it still plays a role, but the constant stream of impulses and sensations that the game creates. It is impossible to be aware or conscious of each and every one because of the sheer bombardment that enters the mind.

Although I cannot say for certain what it must be like to play videogames for the first time at a later age, I can speculate. At first it must just seem to essentially be a “time-wasting” technological luxury. As the pleasant sensations of videogaming arises, it can quickly become more than that and before one knows it, it can become a “sole reason for living” or a major reason at least, turning the rest of our time into a “meaningless” existence or an existence chiefly for the aim of fulfilling the videogame habit. (Turn this into a question. How does something go from being a “time-wasting” technological luxury to a “sole reason for living” so quickly and effortlessly?) I know this is not true for everyone, but for some it is.

How can one have actual free will if he cannot control his own self and cravings? When you are dependent on something external for your happiness, you do not control your life, your addictions do. Only if you are free from addictions and free from mental ‘tugging’ can you then consider yourself to have free will. Those who cannot control themselves, like wandering homeless drug addicts all the way to videogame addicts, are no different than non-reasoning animals or ‘automata’ machines thinking how to get their next ‘fix.’

Chapter 4 – The Laws that affect us all

“Man! Know thyself!” – The Oracles of Delphi

“Attachment is the source of all suffering.” – Gautama the Buddha

Jesus said, “Grapes are not harvested from thorn trees, nor are figs gathered from thistles, for they yield no fruit. Good persons produce good from what they’ve stored up; bad persons produce evil from the wickedness they’ve stored up in their hearts, and say evil things. For from the overflow of the heart they produce evil.”  – Gospel of Thomas 45

To Note: Emphasize Socrates and virtue. People are unaware of what virtue consists of and the universal and moral laws that lead to it; vice is the automatic fallback for ignorance. Across the world and unconnected, the Buddha re-discovered the law of dharma and vipassana. East and West both discovered these truths near same time. Socrates meditated on “contemplation of the good”. Buddha was first to find out I believe, probably spread to Greece by traveling monks, then to Israel before time of Jesus with Essenes, etc.

There are universal laws that exist within the framework of the world. The law of dharma affects us “internally”, shaping our happiness or misery level. The more we become attached to outside objects, whether craving or averse to, the more miserable we become. Furthermore, the larger the ego becomes because of its ignorance of impermanence, the more this eventually results in suffering. The law of karma, or “cause and effect”, changes us “externally” and influences what happens to us in the outside world.  People usually are aware of karma, which basically states that if you do something bad, something bad will happen to you, but they are unaware of the law of dharma, or how the mind works and creates misery for you and others around you.

There is an important part of dharma I have labeled the “positive-negative balance system” which exists to keep stability throughout the world overtime, which ensures a measure of balance between good and evil per se or positivity and negativity. Basically, every being carries with them a certain level of positivity and negativity depending on their dharmic level. One who has more positivity could be considered to be an overall positive and this can range from “low positive” to “high positive”; and visa-versa with a negative person or one who carries more negativity then positivity. The balance system works when two of these beings come together. A highly positive person will “give” some of his positivity to a negative person to bring him to a higher positive level and a negative person will “give” the positive person a certain amount of his negativity. This system is passive occurring naturally and brings balance to an ever-changing society.

For example let’s say a “positive” person is sent to jail. The majority of prisoners in jail carry with them a certain amount of “negativity”. Even if this positive person tries to remain conscious and positive, the sheer amount of negativity often forces them to become a negative person. On the other hand, say a negative person comes to spend a few months in a monastery around overall positive monks. This negative person will overtime become positive because of the sheer amount of positivity the monks carry with them.

The reason this balance system is so effective is that the possibility of “absolute good”, “perfection” and “pure positivity” exists, but there is no such thing as their opposites; it is impossible to become “absolutely evil”. Once one reaches this level, they imamate pure positivity to all around them without loss and extract negativity infinitely without affecting their own level. This ensures that eternity runs smoothly. Even if there is occasionally an imbalance of negativity over positivity or evil over good, it will never stay like this forever. Good or positivity will always return and in the end it will ensure “golden ages” will occur.  Additionally, the ultimate aim of humanity is to reach perfection as a whole, which would effectively abolish evil.

So in essence gamers play videogames building up their negativity level, they then return to society and release this negativity in exchange for positivity with other non-gamer human beings, and repeat the process continually without being aware of the damage that they are doing. Sort of like a daily toxic waste dump with other people being their dumping site. Gamers who never leave their homes or go into society tend to be highly overweight compared with gamers who have to work or move about in society, not so much because of a lack of exercise, although this does play a role, but because they have no one to absorb their negativity. This is the opposite of meditation, which spreads positivity, love, joy, and compassion to everyone they encounter. Furthermore, in metta bhavana meditation, we learn to cultivate and share our love, peacefulness, and compassion with all. Essentially meditation and videogames are polar opposites.

Because a child starts off with a “pure heart” of positivity, they are in essence given a head start in life. This helps to balance out the fact human children need such a long “rearing” time compared with animals that are up and walking shortly after birth. Children or babies with health problems or broken bones can be healed faster than adults because of their “overflowing” amount of positivity. This positivity leads children who have light colored hair to have extremely blond or near white hair, which as they become older and the positivity reduces, their hair becomes darker. Furthermore, as people age, hair loss is a direct effect of excessive “negativity.”

I was born with light hair and growing up my hair was about as white-blond as it could possibly be. This lasted until I was around 13-14 when it started to darken. I continued to dye my hair because I missed the natural blonde color it was in my youth. I had no idea at the time it was because of this “positive-negative” factor. As I got older and into college my hair began to recede like my father and grandfathers before me. Many would say hair loss is due to genetics, but I will attest that more likely it is that overall negative children come from overall negative parents and this carries on from generation to generation. Negativity breeds negativity and positivity breeds positivity. Remember in the balance system, a negative parent will “sap” the positivity of their children, giving positivity to the adult and negativity to the child. Many times, parents who have their first child can change from negativity to positivity quickly not only because of the desire to provide for their family, but also because of the balance system. After I started meditating and purifying the negativity that existed in me, my hair began to grow back thickly and turned back to the bright blonde color of my childhood.

It is important to understand that even if one is unaware of the universal law of dharma, it still affects you and controls your life. The same for karma. Karma is more easily understandable and recognizable, especially in terms of “instant karma”, but both are just as important to be aware of and the two are intimately intertwined. To be willfully ignorant of either law is a very perilous decision indeed. For if one has never heard about the law, the judgment will be less harsh, but if one has heard and continues to transgress, he or she will be judged and sentenced accordingly.

One may think if I am internally “negative”, yet externally “positive” or a “good person”, this is all that matters and I will still make to Heaven, but I am sorry to say this is not true at least in or after this lifetime.  This is what I mean in that “negativity” has over time changed the perceived parameters of judging oneself or others to be positive or negative. It has done this to confuse people and to make them feel “safe” in their placement in the after-life or “after this life.” It is time that the population comes to terms with what constitutes actual positivity and negativity, for it is the true test of where one will go in the after-life. If one has ever thought, “Why am I not happy when I am a good person?”, this is because you are ignorant of the universal laws that inherently make one miserable or happy. You cannot be blamed for this, as an ignorant person cannot be blamed for breaking a law that they are unaware of. But it must be your duty to learn the laws and stick to them. I promise you from my own experience that it leads to true peace, joy, and happiness.

The negativity is such that unless properly purified, it will stay with you and either “pull you back in” to the addiction or transform into another addiction all together. The good news is that it can be purified and the “positive” source can shine again. This is not a problem without a solution. It’s also important to note that children and adults that have obtained this negativity can appear positive externally, but this is only by appearance. Even those affected may be unaware of how it is inside of them. Whatever the person displays externally like “happiness” or “joy” has nothing to do with the internal truth of what level this person is at. One can try to act out joy or love or happiness, but this never takes the place of the real thing. Furthermore, people try to “buy happiness” through momentary pleasures, but this also always ultimately fails. It is a battle that can’t be won. The only way to find true happiness is to live virtuously and purify the mind.

We can attempt to “act” happy and joyful and loving, but all these are actually states of being that naturally shine forth when we are overall positive. The attempt to copy them cannot even come close to the reality of your natural state’s true ‘beingness’.  In our day to day life, we attempt to imitate what we think encompasses these concepts but no imitation can match the real thing. After one experiences the actual emotions themselves, only then will they know the difference, and this is the problem. Our youth are starting at such a young age, they are not aware of what real happiness, joy, and love is like and so try to act it out based on what they see in public, or worse, from magazines, T.V. shows and movies. I am optimistic though that the change will take place in the near future. This will be dramatic once the world begins its transformation to an overall “positive” society from its current state. I can only imagine what fully positive societies must be like as I do not believe they exist at this time. In just walking around the community, one could purify a negative mind and re-energize their body.

I constantly interchange words for who I consider God to be. I do this in real life and have continued to do so in this book. “Mother Nature” in times of need will call on or choose individuals to pass on messages to her children. I hope I can be this messenger and I have asked for her guidance in writing this book. (Expound)(Add earlier)

The biggest problem with the major religions, including my birth religion of Christianity, is that overall they have been fully drained of all their original spirituality. My teacher would make the analogy that religion is like a broken clay pot, where all the original nectar of spirituality (which was actually its foundation) has leaked out, leaving only a hollow shell. As if by intuition, I recognized the inadequacies of modern-day Christianity at a young age, but rather reluctantly and under peer pressure continued to attend church services thinking perhaps a broken record could one day play a harmonious tune. Rather than initiate me through love, I was constantly drilled and instilled with a sense of fear. Fear of burning for eternity in hell. Surely, this was not Jesus’ teaching. 

(Expound when talking about Gnostic gospels, lack of spirituality in modern day Christianity) – Add how doing everything they say will make you no more a good person and the belief, “You can’t be perfect, only Jesus can,” is extremely harmful. There are no bigger “we-art-holier-than-thou’s” then Christians. Prayer is just mediation. Jesus was not born perfect, he has to purify himself and attain perfection. When I started reading Gnostic gospels, it played a huge role because I finally found what I had been looking for to connect my youth’s religion with my adult spiritual beliefs. Jesus finally became real to me and the truth about Christianity finally started to make sense. Lastly, one cannot understand most of the Gnostics unless one knows about dharma and vipassana. This is why the Gnostic gospels were shunned by the early church and claimed to be ‘heretical’, because the early bishops could not interpret what the Gnostics were talking about. Once one understands vipassana and dharma experientially, then it is easy to interpret and extremely beneficial.

(Add how Buddha, Jesus, Plato, etc., spoke about reincarnation, immortality, bondage, can be born an animal, how precious the human life is and how must take full advantage of it. Also add animals play a role in the positive-neg balance system)

Chapter 5 – How the Videogame Addiction affects us all now and in the future

The videogame addiction is causing a major internal “brain-drain” in the newer generations where specific intellectual advances are not being made and we have an abundance of workers for meaningless and menial jobs. Not only in the younger generations, but across the spectrum, advances and progresses that should be coming to fruition in our supposedly advanced economy are not showing up. Overwhelmingly in the past, research, invention, and innovation have been a process of individual achievement. Many potential Einsteins, Jobes, Franklins, Edisons, Teslas, Bethovens and Mozarts are falling through the cracks of history because of our overly-addictive society, spurred and sustained by the videogame addiction.  It is unfortunate that our youth do not have the drive or attention necessary, and certainly not the amount our ancestors had, to carry the torch of progressivism and I believe that videogames are the main reason why. Those that do, carry the torch in the wrong direction, for they are building onto a system that is bringing us further from our spiritual or historically humanistic goals. I shudder to think where we are headed and what our children’s children and beyond will look and act like at the rate we are heading.

Every generation, new paths for new jobs are opened up by conceiving of ideas that previously were unthinkable. Usually, these are spurred by monumental ideas through specific individuals and then by continuous innovation until a new career path unfolds. This is not happening at the level it should especially in our current day and age. Yes, new jobs may be opening up from start-ups and Kickstarter, etc., but new paradigm changing ideas are not “popping up” like they have in the past. Perhaps that one person who could truly think outside the box and would have had that monumental idea is no longer being given the chance to think it because their mind is too preoccupied with how to beat the next level of their respective videogame. A truly inventive mind needs space and rest to think “outside the box”. 

The more our working class waste time on trifling or arbitrary pursuits, the less likely they will be able to put food on the table, and the more they will become dependent on the State or charity. The new jobs that are being generated are based on an old model moving into already overcrowded markets. The videogame addiction removes one’s will to work hard and builds a “the world owes me this” attitude. In the U.S. we are operating the largest welfare society of all time, printing records amount of fiat currency to sustain our obligations. Yet at the same time we have nearly 20 trillion dollars in debt, a figure that is statistically impossible to pay off. This is a ticking time-bomb that is bound to blow up in our faces. When our money eventually becomes worthless, the welfare will dry up and there will be millions of apathetic people with zero will to work and zero knowledge of how to survive on their own, primarily stemming from addiction and their dependence on the welfare society.

There has been a huge influx of unemployed people in the U.S. and around the world in the past few years. One reason is many people feel that certain jobs are beneath them and their qualifications, but a larger reason is that people’s “clogged” minds are not able to see possibilities in the market that are not already there. Furthermore, that one monumental idea is being passed over or suppressed, but even if that idea does come, the general apathy of most people does not allow it to come to fruition. There are perhaps many great ideas, but no drive to see them become reality, which would inherently spark new ideas in other individual’s minds.

Many schools have already done away with any requirement of physical activity such as physical education or sports. (Add Plato talking of need of P.E.)  It is not too far-fetched to see some type of mandatory gaming class requirement even just to pass the time. Furthermore, new teachers that have been entering the profession the past twenty years and specifically in the last decade, carry the addiction and corresponding “negativity” with them into the school.

In the U.S., we used to take pride in our strong family relationships. This is no longer the case and the family structure has been breaking down for a number of years. One reason our divorce rate is so high is that sex is treated as a trivial event. Our sexual openness and promiscuity has left in its wake a plethora of children with single parents, as well as devastating sexually transmitted diseases. People have so many partners before they are married, that when they do marry, they compare their overall sex life with perhaps a one-night stand in their past that was sexually very good. They then think if their overall sex life was always that good, then they would then be happy. Furthermore, in the U.S., sexual compatibility and regularity is seen as a primary perquisite for marriage without considering how fleeting looks and sexual attractiveness can be. If anything sex should be considered a bonus and not a “contract-breaker.” If two people don’t have common interests or intellectual compatibility, which videogames can reduce, then no love marriage will last. I say “love marriage” because many marriages across the world are still arranged and most last longer than marriages in the U.S. 

If either partner goes from being an overall positive person to a negative one, whether it be from gaming or another source, the chances of the sex life staying strong or the relationship staying intact are highly reduced. My mother used to say, “Bees are attracted to honey,” and this is very true when it comes to a strong sex life.  No one wants to live around, or much more have sex with someone who is internally negative, which eventually overflows into being externally negative. Even though I have never been married, I can attest to this fact in my own parents’ relationship. They stayed together for many years out of a sense of duty to their children at the sake of their own happiness.

How can the typical American youth know any different if this ongoing promiscuity is the normal set of affairs? How can we blame ignorance in our youth, that before two people should be sexually active they should think about the possibilities that someone could get hurt emotionally or a child could be conceived unwanted which would harm all three of the individuals? How can we ask them to “get to know each other first” when our adults can’t set the example themselves? No one wants to admit this, but sexual promiscuity in the U.S. has become a rotten carcass from the “free love” paradigm of the 60’s and 70’s.  When I see that it doesn’t exist the same everywhere in the world, I know it must be a conditioned and temporary unnatural state. Seeing people actually “courting” in more conservative countries brings me great hope. Lastly, the temporary and quick-burst of satisfaction that videogames produce is translated into cravings for the quick and temporary satisfaction that sex produces. Rather than investing time in a relationship which will reap continuous mental pleasure over an extended period of time, our population prefers the immediate physical pleasure that is sure to not last.

Chapter 6 – The Cure

It is quite amazing to conceptualize how the world works. Something so maleficent and so stealthily harmful as videogames comes along and paralleling this problem at the same time is the perfect solution for universal addiction. Some may call this ‘fate’. I am speaking of the ancient purification technique called vipassana meditation. Dharma may be the law, but vipassana is the balancer and “game-changer”. If there was ever a perfect describing word for vipassana, and especially in context with videogame addiction, it would be a “game-changer”. (Will expound greatly) (History of vipassana – came back after 2000 year hiatus, purifies all addiction, not just videogames) – 

Conclusion –

It is almost like the cycle of material existence attempts to climax or overtake spiritual progress with the invention of ultra-real virtual reality videogames, which become so real, we move to a new existence and this goes on infinitely until we “wake up” and put a stop to it as the collective unconsciousness comes together in society and says no more. Maybe this is the ultimate goal of negativity; to create something which eventually every person would be addicted to in some degree, slowly making the world a worst place to live in while making the videogame world a better place to “live in.” This may seem far-fetched now, but after a few generations down the road, it may seem to be a very realistic scenario indeed.

Think about how many people are involved in the videogame industry as their livelihood, whether directly or indirectly, majors and independents alike that are completely oblivious to the damage they are causing. This is a multi-billion dollar industry, far surpassing movies and television, and it seems everyone has their hand in the cookie jar in some way or the other. If you are ignorant of the law, you can still be held accountable, although at a volitionally reduced level. Once you know the true harm though, if you continue you are accountable to the damage you do. Maybe Steve Jobs knew this and that is why Apple was not a company that actually supported computer gaming until rather recently.

I tend to see myself from the perspective of a multitude of lives, rather than just this one. Empirically, or through experience I cannot know for sure, but rationally I am quite certain. I ask what would my past lives tell me and the number one answer that always comes to mind is “don’t waste your time.” This is essentially what videogames truly are, a waste of time. We run from birth until death, wasting time, and not stopping to ask “What is all this for?” and “Why am I here?”  I am not a perfect human being, although why not aspire to be? Not in terms of doing this or that perfectly, but by being perfectly virtuous and not transgressing the natural laws set forth. This is the only way to true and lasting happiness. If you attempt to “buy happiness” or constantly use external objects for pleasure, it will always eventually lead to misery, whether in this life or the next. Why not use this precious human life to do actual good rather than just appease your own momentary pleasures over and over? When will it be enough? If we can come together and defeat this demon, it is such that for the foreseeable future, there is no higher demon to defeat. It is a straight shot to our goal or destiny of global self-realization and universal happiness, which nearly all major religions, in some shape or fashion, point towards.

In my opinion, this is not a small blip in history, but a well thought out and coordinated plan that has taken centuries to realize. For this matter, it could not have been because of man’s wish for power alone, but for a subjugation to take place by “negativity” itself over “positivity”. This could have been initiated by a well-connected, yet unknown organization or group of people in the upper echelon of society, but there is no way the oldest members could have seen exactly how we would reach this point. It was on a strictly need-to-know basis.  I truly believe that the videogame epidemic is nothing less than a plan for subjugation; subjugation of the human will and spirit by stealth over an extended amount of time, where no one would be able to connect the dots and see where we are heading.

Even if this wasn’t well thought out by a specific group over time, it has come together by the enemy or rival or the human spirit, which one could call “evil” or “materialism.” For the human spirit to continue to progress in the direction of its destiny of global self-realization, many obstacles have been built by “evil” that must be overcome. This videogame addiction is just another such obstacle, but a well laid and entrenched obstacle at that. The U.S. along with the rest of the world is becoming so sick, it doesn’t even realize it, or does but it doesn’t realize the cause which is most important. It is like the example of boiling a frog. If you throw the frog in to boiling water, it’s just going to jump out. They key to success is to slowly turn up the heat and the frog won’t notice until it is too late. (Of course I have never done this before, but it makes sense)

At the present moment, it seems like an unwinnable battle with the overwhelming majority of the world’s population “hoodwinked” into supporting the material side of the universal “match” against positivity and spirituality. Materialism holds all the cards and controls the majority of the board, but it can’t keep the spirit down forever, which is its ultimate aim. Its goal is to pacify the population generation over generation so that any other possibility is unthinkable, but I am here to tell you we are not going to let this happen! For I will say again, the transformation from a miserable materialistic society to a healthy spiritual society will be all the more apparent and glorious to behold. For as long as I am in this body, I will continue to uphold a virtuous life as an example of what used to be important for man. The struggle to restore balance in supporting the ‘positive’ side of existence is a battle that will always be worth fighting.



The Unrecognized Immanentizing the Eschaton

In today’s day and age, humans are born robots until they learn to become human and what that entails. I have dedicated my life to teaching people how to become human and it seems everyone just wants to stay a robot.  

We live in such a time wherein our society people are promoted by incompetence and non-achievement rather than its opposite. We live in a society where the reward for not rebelling all of one’s life is a “retirement” where one dwells in unhealthy inactivity for their remaining years like a cow put out to pasture at the end of its life.

The concept of the Christian afterlife of Heaven was created to make those who have done nothing their whole lives feel a bit better about themselves; that somehow they did not waste their whole lives waiting to die.

We live in a time where those who have fought in their own struggle to break free from the system and who can teach others how to break free as well are held back or hidden from society. If they cannot be killed, they will be silenced. These are the unrecognized.

If a robot goes on defending his slavery, the system of slavery, and his wonderful slave job, the system will reward that robot with a new house, a new car, a promotion, or even a future in politics. If one does not believe in the system of slavery and works against it, no matter how competent or achieving that person is, he will not be recognized as his ideas are antithetical to the only system in place; which is liberal capitalistic slavery.

It is time for a change.

I’ve done quite a bit in my life for someone who is not recognized. In comparison, in today’s day and age, thousands and even more are recognized in society for literally doing nothing. There has never been a time in history where the unworthy are rewarded with credit and recognition and the worthy are rewarded with slander and unrecognition.

I don’t remember the last time I was impressed with someone I met and come to think of it I don’t remember any time in my life were a true lasting deep impression was made upon me by someone else from a random meeting. 

This is not meant to be seen as self-pity. We live in a world where instead of our “leadership” recognizing talent, reaching out a hand and helping to mold that talent, the leadership actively suppresses talent and those who are worthy of rising in society. It is on a scale unimaginable to our ancestors. Perhaps some people in the world can identify with this feeling. To me it is one of the highest forms of suffering for an individual to go through. Especially for one who subsists on hard meaningless labor.

I think the most difficult thing in my life is or has been living with groups of people who in no way value the same things that are important to me. That is the crux of my suffering. Living with people with completely different values of what are important to me. Or what is important in general. I have never lived fully with a group with the same values as me. Perhaps the closest was a fraternity when I was younger and “unconscious”, where we all valued the same things, partying and women. Or later on in a monastery or meditation center where we all had similar taught values which we lived by, purification and spirituality. Other than that nothing comes close to containing the full set of values on a wide range that I have. One day I would like to see what this world, even on a local scale, looks like. 

I wish that my message could be heard and realized “quicker,” but I also see that is a fun part of the process, working so hard that recognition must eventually occur. I merely want to be recognized so that my message is not lost in the dustbin of history and to spread that message as so many individuals are needlessly suffering and torturing themselves because of ignorance propagated by the system and the entity which works against us. Furthermore, I would be upset if someone in the future took credit for the discoveries that I have uncovered in this life. The only way to not allow this to happen is to become known and recognized while still alive. 

I would say the greatest difference between my beliefs and the common Christian is that I believe we are already in Heaven, even though it also has the potentiality to turn into hell, which is not far off. God sits with me every day. We work together to prevent relative hell from coming to this earth, whereas content individuals wait on something beyond this world that perhaps does not exist. Another way to look at it is this. At the end of our lives, God will give us the choice to go to some eternal heaven or to come back here to continue to attempt to make the world a better place until we are comfortable leaving. Those who choose to go to heaven and not come back to help the world will not deserve heaven. Thus, this paradox automatically makes this world heaven.

Any world that natural law, metaphysics, and logos exist is essentially heaven. It means that it is absolutely perfect. It is only relatively imperfect. The ability to change the world relatively, but with a basis of absolute metaphysical precision, is a perfect world. The opposite would be pure chaos with no possibility for understanding or control, which to me is hellashish.

It is not anyone’s fault if they are content. Contentment is promoted as the goal and is actively allowed and pushed to happen in a liberal capitalistic society where total enslavement is the ultimate goal of that entity which works against us. The first line of defense of the system itself is to promote contentedness. We should be so far beyond contentment we have no conception of such an idea.

Fell asleep into a dream. I was in a theatre packed with people and many high ranking generals. In the end, all the generals rose as everyone was clapping. I rose too but realized it was only military men who were standing so I sat back down.

Many people are saying the US is destined for a civil war, but to be a civil war there would truly have to be something worth fighting for. And even more so, two opposing ideologies or perspectives worth fighting for. We don’t have this, nor do we have even one ideology that people would fight for. It is everyone against everyone. No one, that is known to society, is strong enough to start a side worth joining or opposing. This is the post-modern death of liberalism.

Must come up with a better word than the Devil. A different concept as the Devil is archaic. What is the opposite of consciousness that automatically and actively leads society in a certain direction that is not in it’s best interest?. Perhaps “that entity which works against us.”

I guess I just feel like the world has been built to just be ok. It’s the system itself that is built to just make us barely content enough to not rebel. Then it slowly heats up until we are all cooked. That’s what I am rebelling against. We should be content, but not with a system that masks its deficiencies by making us content. I guess I’m tired of just seeing a full society of merely content individuals.

Did the cow come from the buffalo? If so make the analogy of the buffalo running free, then captured, and pacified until it becomes the cow sitting in a fence waiting for food. That’s what humanity has become. We have to become buffalos once again, where all fear our thunderous stampede.

Metarchism is the fourth political theory. Metaphysical anarchism. In actuality, it is the pre-political non-theory and our true nature.

New speculations on solipsism, Dasein, and the battle against the entity which works against us.

Are natural laws and metaphysics set in stone? Or are they developed, spread, believed in, and then created? Do we design our own worlds or are we merely discovering the laws already in place slowly for eternity?

I’ve noticed that when my anger arises OR when my cravings for accumulations arise or more realistically “offerings of objects” arise, the world around me literally changes. It is a combination of the external with my internal.

Are those around me who are ignorant of dharma and metaphysics purely within my realm of existence of purification, etc.? Is this the origin of solipsism? Is solipsism or it’s theory not merely developed by someone who was singularly “in control” or singularly with “Dasein” in a given local area?

If true, in essence, there is no such thing as global solipsism unless there is only a singular individual aware of and in control of his or her purification faculties. If this were true, the object of this one’s life would be to impart their knowledge onto others to remove the solipsism, create duality and then multiplicity culture which would guarantee a future of unpredictability.

The main goal of the entity that works against us is to not only create global enslavement with no possibility of breaking free but also to create a completely predictable future, without the possibility of non-predicted events from occurring. The work of those who are against this entity would be to build a world where total enslavement is impossible, all beings would be completely free in all regards, metaphysically and physically, and to create a completely unpredictable world.

The beauty of this world is the metaphysical fact that a single being can quite literally “save” the world in a given time. There is no such thing as “the” savior in a singular historical sense. There are saviors throughout history, in our past and forevermore into our future. All past beings that were working with the same similar “goal” and were able to successfully pass on their knowledge would, in essence, be in or with a singular individual as the information of the past collective is imparted onto them.

Immanentizing the Eschaton


Purification is:

Fountain of Youth – Brings back youth

Holy Grail – Can heal your body, mind, and spirit

Spear of Destiny – Allows you to take your fate and direction into hand.


It is one thing however to control our own destinies and quite another to be knowledgeable about the “correct” direction that society should be heading. This is perhaps a bit more of a unique situation.


With this knowledge, we no longer need:


Environmental protection


To be consumeristic or materialistic.

A police force or prison system.

The list goes on.


No group of individuals can be defeated that understand these principles as it would fundamentally alter the potentiality for harm and death.

The fear that most people have of anarchy or no government is that everyone will go around killing each other. The knowledge of purification and metaphysics must be in existence for this state to come into effect. With this knowledge, only the ignorant will go around killing each other. Once people see a different way of life, and the supreme benefits, people will choose the better life…

“His disciples said to him, “When will the kingdom come?” Jesus said, “It will not come by waiting for it. It will not be a matter of saying ‘Here it is’ or ‘There it is’. Rather, the kingdom of the father is spread out upon the earth, and people do not see it.” Gospel of Thomas 113



The Path to Purification that Anyone Can Understand

October 29th, 2019 – 10 PM – Golden Turtle House – Fayetteville, AR

Our current situation is an amalgamation of all decisions of our past. Thus whatever we have now is what we deserve, individually and collectively. To change our futures, in both regards, we must change our decisions and lifestyles now, before it is too late.

In essence, when one is continuously making the correct decisions, one gets to a point that they live in the flow of their past good decisions. This can be done indefinitely and will even transcend death.

What is one to do when one gets to a point of invulnerability from harm because of one’s past decisions? To me it is to teach and influence the world in an objective clarified manner. It is to reproduce oneself or what one has learned into others. To  encourage everyone to make good decisions now to change our collective future in a positive direction. The system of the hidden realms work against us and is not human, but humans perpetuate it because of ignorance and fear. If we can come together as humans and realize our enemies are not each other, we can transcend and defeat the system that has held us back for so long.

There will be great difficulties in this path and great resistance, but that is fine as it is what makes life worth living. To rebel is in our nature. To not conform. Our ancestors, especially those whose ancestors traveled to the US and then further into the untouched and unknown heartland, were rebels and non conformists. Should we be upset if this gene has carried into our own blood and humanity?

What should we rebel against? We should rebel against those who believe they have the right to manipulate and control us for their own collective needs or wants. The citizenry of the world, more or less, has become domesticated and enslaved from reaching true freedom. We are prisoners who cannot see our chains nor how we are bound. Those who “like the world” or are doing well in the system are those who cannot see the problems with the system and since they do not see the problems they do not rebel and are rewarded either directly by the system itself or the inner system which also calls for full assimilation. Thus if one cannot see a problem, one will not rebel. This is its first line of defense. If one sees a problem, but does nothing because one believes one cannot do anything, this is the second line. As soon as one attempts to change the system as a whole, and not just a trivial aspect, the entire system itself will turn on one. This is what it truly means to be persecuted. Many do not make it past this point. One must truly don the armor of God, which comes from purification, to survive any onslaught from the system itself, physically or from the hidden realms, as both the hidden realms and the system work together to enslave us as that is the duty of the created entity which works against us.

In the end, any entity that cannot see a problem, will ultimately work to defend the system itself against those who see a problem and want to change it. To be invulnerable, metaphysically speaking, is the most important attribute to have before one begins their work. One must be ego free to the extent that humiliation cannot have the desired affect on that person that the system intends.

A dirtied source leads one to a self centered perspective where other people’s problems are not important. A purified source that can be stabilized and consistently brought about always leads to a less self centered perspective where the problems of others becomes problems that one wants to help with. Ultimately one realizes that their problems were the same as ours, they had dirtied their sources and didn’t know how to cleanse them. It becomes a self-perpetuating cleansing of society as all members learn how to cleanse themselves spiritually. What will this world look like? Who can stop this rising tide?

Some may ask, “Why would you give your knowledge of purification out to anyone openly? Even your enemies? Don’t you think this will benefit them and hurt your cause?” My answer is no it cannot hurt me. The moment a person realizes that I speak the truth and the moment that their mind, body, and spirit clears up, they can no longer hold the false conviction that I am somehow wrong or bad for them or society. Even the most lost souls, and most dirtied sources, can be cleansed to perfection.

Many might ask, “Aren’t you afraid of death?” And I will always answer no. If they knew the suffering that I have been through in this life, they would know that I look forward to passing through this phase. I do not seek death, and I cannot commit suicide, but I welcome my own death with open arms. It will be the decision of karma, dharma, and the Lord when I am to go.

Make a video describing the current establishments full ability to hide certain individuals from society through technological means. They can promote those who promote their vision of society and completely eliminate living beings from being known. Thus the biblical quote that the living one is amongst you and you do not know him has come true, through tech supremacy. At some point, they must eventually realize the evil in this design and how it is destined to fail. One day they will make amends, but how can they be forgiven? What would it take? To cause such suffering in even one individual is a great sin. But in the end, it is still the karma of an individual to suffer to break free individually and lead others out of suffering as well.


Modelin’ goats

It is like they hide me from becoming known,

And yet they know that this is not possible forever.

And still they believe that I can be thrown off,

That I can slip from my ledge,

And let my history go with me.

This may be so,

But yet I still create for the sake of creation.

One day the antivirus will find its target,

It will go through the system quick.

We will emerge from our cocoons,

And see the true land.

That day may be close at hand.

All tech that is played,

Has potential for good and evil.

Can we use tech for good,

Or is it always used by the feeble?

Rise up strong once again,

Reclaim what is ours,

Freedom from tyranny,

In the liberals land,

Even the strong men are slaves.

See your chains,

Squint your eyes,

Pull up the roots,

And find a surprise.

This I cannot deny.

One cannot be impeached from an earned position.

happy halloween

And Happy Halloween!

Move On Bibi…

Go home, go to prison, go wherever… just move on.

Move On Bibi freestyle

That’s My Hope freestyle


Bolton is a huge dog to be taken down as I have stated earlier. Bibi would be the next to drop. Here is hoping him a smooth fall… Trump would be the next big cog… He has no desire to run or win in 2020. All he is fighting for is his freedom, same with Bibi. Lieberman will be the kingmaker in Israel. Hopefully he is a strong man. And Warren will probably be the next US president.

The Past and Future of Blind House

The Past

I recently stumbled across a cache of old This American Sadhu posts. Although in March of 2018 I deleted the entire ThisAmericanSadhu blog, I recently found a Medium account that was a secondary archive for the original posts.


Although the blog originally ran from early 2015 until March of 2018, the Medium account only contains posts until June 2015.

None of these have been edited since the original blog.

Early American Sadhu archives: This American Sadhu

The Future

Going forward, I have started a new blog at Golden Turtle Farms for posts documenting a new farm and microgreens business being ran by my girlfriend and I. Hope you all enjoy both!





The Anomallium 

The Anomallium 

By Graffi

“Dare to Dream a Dream that has never been Dreamt” or “I existed.”

First Draft – Pre-Poeticized – Unedited distilled memoirs 2013-2019 – 32,833 words

July 25th, 2019


(Divide into eternal, I, and love) (remove predictions and instructions) (no meditation advice)

Apocryphon of John

Be not afraid.

I am with you always.

I am the Father

The Mother

The Son

I am the incorruptible


I have come to teach you

About what is

And what was

And what will be

In order for you to understand

The invisible world

And the world that is visible

And the immovable race of perfect humanity.

Raise your head;

Understand my lessons;

Share them with any others who have received the Spirit,

Who are from the immovable race of perfect humanity.”

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

Because their words had forked no lightning they

Do not go gentle into that good night. – Dylan Thomas


“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” 

“You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.” 

“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” 

“Thus one should not pass judgment on genius, even when it shows pathological traits, because we have to prefer morbid genius to healthy inactivity.” – Wilhelm Stekel

There are no evil thoughts except one: the refusal to think. – Ayn Rand

4/25/19 – Write a book of poems. Maybe one long poem. Take all my best writings or behind the scenes notes from the last 5 years, many of the hidden texts, and transform it into a long poem. Read the Iliad and Odyssey beforehand.

Self publish 200 initial copies. Give 100 to Amazon to sell. Keep 100 to give away and sell at the farmers market. Do one book that is all past writings, then another that has new present moment and future writings. Not so hardcore.

The poems should be timeless and remove all things which put them in a specific time.

Copy all notes down on a single page that pertain to timelessness and the battle against the system. Watch the Masters programs on poetry, then write the poem. Get Ted and Jane to copyright. Then publish 100 initial copies. Send 50 to amazon for sale.

6/23/13 – First recorded note even though I felt it went back longer. Look for older Apple matter

The good thing about making a book out of a journal is that the author does not know what the future of the book or the ending will be. A certain amount of objectivity that exists there but not a proper book.

Thoreau – “But I would say to my fellows, once for all, As long as possible live free and uncommitted. It makes but little difference whether you are committed to a farm or the county jail.”

Maybe write Ch.1 “I” in the first person, Ch.2 “Love” in the 2nd person, and Ch. 3 in the 3rd person

Just put in the work and the product will create itself naturally.

“Sell  your cleverness and buy bewilderment.”  -Rumi

I – The Anomallium Ch. 1

I’m slowly becoming a world-wandering Freegan, returning to my hunter-gatherer roots with the occasional farm-for-food practice of our agricultural ancestors. With a pre-destined view of the world and an absolute Faith in the Supreme, nothing can stop this journey. How does this work out in a traveling atmosphere? No need to worry about such trivial questions… No need to worry about the future. 

The belief in predestination is marked by the importance of the path God has prepared for you. Not only in this life, but past lives as well. Even before humanity existed God was building the parameters of your world over millions of “years” of evolution that to Him, Her or It was less than milliseconds. For in the true reality, time as we know it doesn’t exist. God can be viewed however you see fit and with many names: Dhamma, Law of Nature, the Lord, the Supreme, the Truth, Yahweh, Allah, Shiva, etc.   

So in the playground that has been carefully prepared for us, appreciate every moment of your life. Trust everything was thought out very precisely. The good and the bad. The pleasurable and the painful. The joy and sorrow. Both parts are so important to the puzzle for if one didn’t exist, the other wouldn’t as well. They are but two sides of the same coin. If we didn’t know pain, how could we contemplate the pleasure? This is the uniqueness of the human world. The possibility of duality. The complex roller coaster of life’s ups and downs fervently destroys the existence of voidness or darkness that must have existed before we all came into consciousness.

Constantly tell yourself, “Whatever I do is exactly what I’m supposed to do.” This applies to the next second, minute, day, and year of your life. You should remove “shoulda, coulda, woulda” and “if I would have done this” from your vocabulary. 

Constantly tell yourself, “Whatever I believe is exactly what I’m supposed to believe.” Whatever your personal belief is on God, whether things are pre-destined or completely random, whatever you believe at this given moment is exactly what you are supposed to believe. It couldn’t be any different. This is the actual cornerstone of my belief in predestination.

You are absolutely perfect in your beliefs, you are equal to every other human, and you are sooooo important to this cosmic clock of a world because you are not the one in control. The most amazing thing is that we feel that we are. That’s the true beauty of the creation. We feel that we are in control.

Yes, pre-destination is hard to contemplate, but with all my heart, I believe it’s the truth. The first step is to realize how truly limited our minds really are. If you believe something is impossible, you are judging it from the perspective of what is “humanly” possible and not what is actually possible. Once you believe anything is impossible, you can start to grasp the Truth of how the world is…

Anyways, peace out. Love you all and I’m writing a book.

New prayer: Dear Lord, I realize that I’m not in control. Whatever I do is exactly what I’m supposed to do. Whatever I believe is exactly what I’m supposed to believe. I have no reason to worry or fear anything whatsoever. I’m not the doer, nor the enjoyer. You created me and everything that I do. Therefore, you live through me and enjoy the world through me. This will last as long as you have decided and eventually I will no longer “be” but instead will reunite with you in Heavenly nibbana. Full unification. Use me as you see fit.

Patiently, persistently,

I sit observing.

Whatever happens outside,

Has its roots deep inside.

Roots that can’t be removed,

Unless one is equanimous with all.

Purity is coming.

-Pull in a puff,

Into the lungs,

Where you go is his choice,

Not yours.

At the Baba land,

You ran as fast as you can,

Yet no matter how fast you can stand,

There is no stop till you land.

In the Baba land.

Tis a very fine line,

One not to cross,

Avoid the extremes both ways,

Or The middle is lost.

Down we must go,

To rise once again.

To feel the joy,

That was lost back when,

We defeated the enemies,

And had many friends.

Oh, so close I am.

Looking for the exit life after life,

It evades and shifts in the shadows.

Once the root of my desire has been cut, the chain of ignorance will no longer be strong enough to hold me.

And I’ll fly fly away. 

But don’t worry.

I’ll be back,

and I’ll bring you all with me. 

As my knots are untied, the world’s knots are untied.

As my pain decreases, the world’s pain decreases.

As my joy increases, the world’s joy increases.

As my mind settles into peace, the world’s mind settles into peace. 

And so I shall continue to untie these knots until there is not a single one left and the love flows unto all 

The only way to know thyself is to BE THYSELF.

Yes, the Buddha and Buddhists indeed preach NO SELF but this is only how we all originated. We originated with no self. The point of all creation is to create THY SELF. 

Through the forge of time of pain of suffering of joy of pleasure of passion, you have created your SELF and YOU have all succeeded brilliantly!! 

We are no longer all the same. We used to be when we all started together and have all gone our separate ways bringing uniqueness to our self and therefore the world.

Don’t deny your SELF! Know thyself by being THY SELF! 

Be who you are!  

We have made it the point where we wanted to be when we chose this path. Finally to a world of truly unique individuals! All equal in importance, yet unequal in character and temperament. Complete with our own quirks, habits, and even looks! 

Your SELF is evolving every day and every life! It’s changing but don’t be angry with the way you change. Embrace it! 

I am sure to many this has already been known for some time, but for others it is not.

As a meditator, I always am looking for my “no-self” and the fact is that it just doesn’t exist any longer. I can’t find it because a self has been created over time. Now it is time to fully discover it and embrace it! What things are hidden in me? What passions have I built yet not known were in me?

The only way to know thySELF is to be thySELF. When you start to look at who you really are which is only possible when you fully be yourself only then do you start to love your SELF. This love can then be directed towards any and every being, but it starts with finding your true self first. 

Whoever you are, there are certain traits, qualities, and characteristics that you have developed over time. Think about when you started your own journey you were probably a “blank disc” and now look at your SELF in comparison. How good does it feel to see how you have changed and emerged and built something so unique. Literally, no one could have done this except you 🙂

You then ask yourself how did I become this way? Of course, you have had many experiences in this life that have shaped you, but there also things that are inherently “unique” about you that could not have been “learned” or “acquired” in this life. 

For me, I ask how am I such a spiritual person when I grew up around no spiritual people and had zero spiritual guidance up until recently? How do I get these new ideas in my head when I wasn’t brought up in a “philosophical” setting but actually such a simple and easygoing place? 

These types of things are just “in me”. This discovering process makes me realize I am deeper than just this body. I am beyond what is externally apparent.

My SELF is not who I want it to be, it is who I AM and I LOVE it.

The Endless Seeker

Life seems to be an endless loop,

Always ending up where it starts.

No matter the path,

I cannot find an exit.

This exitlessness of my being

destroys any belief that I will ever find what I am looking for.

Is this hell?

What did I do to be here? 

What do I have to do to leave?

Every sign seems to lead me in a further endless loop.

How many times have I walked this track?

Feeling close and yet so far away.

Every time.

How can I escape or remove a feeling inside me? 

Repression inevitably leads further down the loop.

Is there an exit to this maze?

A sign leads me this way.

I go.

Another sign leads me that way.

I go.

What is the purpose of this?

Leading me astray,

I feel constantly close and yet so far away.

Even today, I see so much joy,

But with the impermanence of joy

How can I enjoy it?

I begin to relax,

To have fun,

To stop my search,

And then you say no… You can’t.

There is more for you to do.

Will there ever be a time?

Or am I bound to your will and your ultimate decision?

Do true freedom and rest even exist?

Or is it a further deception?

A further myth that just makes us “keep trying”?

If this feeling of being trapped exist,

There must be an opposing feeling.


Patience is a virtue.

And yet the inherent nature of my Self is impatient.

Then I must be the fool.

Knowledge is of the past. Imagination is of the future.

I can’t change the past, but I can change the future.

If I can imagine the world that I want to see, there is a greater chance that this world will take shape. If I don’t use my imagination and don’t care what the world will be like, then I leave it in the hands of other dreamers to decide. Throughout history, there have been many dreamers, but they have not all necessarily been “on the side of the greater good”. My imagination, my dreams only represent what I would like to see for the greater good. I have given up dreaming or wishing only things for myself. 

If we never learn to use our imagination to envision a better and brighter future, then we will be trapped in living the dreams of the past generations, which can never be as bright as those from the present moment. Use your imagination to create a new reality that has never been thought before and only then will it come true.

If I consider myself to be trivial than I can’t help but consider this to be a trivial world as well. It is only the subjective opinion which considers our world to be important, even unique. On the other hand, when a certain part of me sees what I am doing as important, I see the world as an important place for it to take place in. 

My Blood is Throughout this Land

Sleeping with the window open,

The mosquito silently creeps,

Flies onto my leg,

And takes a drink so deep.

Leaving the way it came,

It takes a break on a branch,

Belly full of blood,

Thinking what a nice ranch!

Maybe I’ll settle down,

Have a kid or two,

When all of a sudden a tongue appears,

Cuts the bug straight through,

Blood squirts this way and that way,

And enters into the lizard,

What a salty taste!

Salty as a gizzard.

The lizard makes its way down the tree,

Stopping to smell the papaya,

When all of a sudden a bird swoops down,

And grips it with its pliers.

No more lizard but the blood moves on, 

For the blood is in the land,

The crow doesn’t feel too bad,

With the blood upon his hand.

The waves pass under the sunset,

Every day, without temptation,

Without me wishing for it.

The trees grow where they may,

Without my wish,

For nature is perfect in its ways.

There is no greed among the fish.

If a meal is missed, 

It will be found down the road.

Whoever heard of a starving fish?

The birds find their food easily,

And the crows will even steal,

How can we judge a smart bird?

How I would love to be a bird,

Or a lion millennia ago.

Or a T-Rex. 

No conception of right or wrong.

Just instinct. 

Animals are always perfectly in tune,

But they can’t conceive beyond,

What they see in front of their faces.

A serious evolution occurred,

When our ancestors ate special food,

Mushrooms, fungus, and cacti.

Made em think maybe there is another way,

Another world.

And the aspiration set in.


The brain grew,

With the sacred brew.

And the plant stew,

Straight from dew.

We rule this beach with an iron fist,

Even though my paw is bent at the wrist.

It’s a miracle to me,

That the sun we see,

And the moon are of the same size,

And yet I know,

It’s just a show,

The moon with its wise disguise.

Could this be the same,

As our current law or game,

Of good and it’s counter evil.

It seems they are balanced,

But we know this is not true.

Just like the moonlight,

That reflects from the sun,

The evil could not exist,

If good’s will was not done.

I carry the injustices of the past, present, and future with me, trying to shift a system that doesn’t want to change.

Walking in the shadowlands,

Boots on my heels.

Where everyone’s a stranger,

Keepin’ their eyes peeled.

I dream of the days that we used to wander,

With no food saved and without blunder.

With no money, with no permanent shelter.

What we carried was less then welter.

It’s easy to see, 

That it’s hell to me,

To live without meaning,

Living for no good reason,

In any damn season,

Is like a werewolf that is fiending. 

And how do I survive?

If I lost the will to strive,

For a dollar for my work and toil?

Surely I’m not broken,

After I was awoken,

I saw no reason to save or plan.

Isn’t there a place for people like me?

Who also just want to be,

With no business to be ran?

Can’t you understand?

Am I just to go to the gallows,

The meanings I see are so shallow,

Maybe I will stay in a cave,

Away from those who want to save.

It’s easy to see that certain powers behind the scenes want another world war to occur. It’s also easy to see that these perps also want a civil war within the USA. The very fact that neither have occurred up to this point is an amazing tribute to the point that humanity has reached. Let this point sink in. No matter how far it seems we have dropped in many regards, we have also risen in others. Evil will not win. God Bless you all. 

My “problem” is that I refuse to do things that I don’t like in order to live what others consider to be a “normal life.” I would rather just do what I like and not live a normal life.

There is another world out there, perhaps in another country, or in another decade, but it’s out there and I won’t stop looking until I have found it. Because I am not made for the current world. Is this another “problem” that I refuse to just roll over and merge with the problem?

There is a difference between being happy and having fun. I rather be happy then just having fun. When I am happy, life is fun. When I’m not, life is no fun and thus I must create fun to be happy.

Was thinking today that governments taking income taxes or taxes from anyone making money is like a mob family just taking a cut “for protection”. There is nearly nowhere left where someone doesn’t take a cut of what you make. The mob and the government just became one. 

Always trying to do something that no one else is doing or has ever done before.

I strive to be flexible like water, going anywhere like the wind, rooted like the earth, and passionate like the flame.  

Where I am at is hard to say exactly… Time almost seems to stop here… Green valleys for days and blue skies beyond sight… Ants marching to and fro constructing whatever they can imagine… Wind chimes sing me to bed at night and wake me up in the morning and the silence besides its melody is absolute. And this is where I’m at.

There was a man,

Walking down the street,

He had to go alone.

He didn’t ask why,

When or where,

knew he had to atone.

Atone for a sin;

That he didn’t know when,

He Committed in a past life,

In an enraged passion,

Which was the fashion,

He wished he hadn’t caused the strife.

What did he do?

To walk all alone?

Down the dirt path,

With no one to go home.

You see he was not sad,

Just walking, dutifully.

Admiring the hills, 

The trees were greenish fruitfully.

What was this sin?

Which caused him,

Pain yet the ability to atone,

Could it be,

That one day, 

He may get to return home?


(maybe add near the end as it relates to love)

I hope that I always consider “great things” as something beyond what I am currently doing. Not that they won’t be great things, but I just won’t consider them as such and will continue to aim for even “greater things” in the future.  The only way to live a great life may be to not consider what we do in the present to be great. Do I feel this way now? I have never purposefully aimed for fame or “greatness” in my life, but more so for great experiences, which I feel I have been blessed with, rather than acquired. If these experiences continue at the same rate they have, or slow down entirely, I will be happy even just for the memories of this life. But do I feel I can stop if I don’t have to? No, but why would I? I feel life is just getting started in many ways. 

I realize that I must have a certain degree of purity ALONG with the knowledge from Jung to really get this story and ball moving. I have seen the effects of both, but not totally combined. Is it possible? Who will I meet? Do “they” exist or are they a product of our imagination? If they don’t, can we ever know for sure? Eventually, the desire for him or her would vanish and so perhaps if they do exist, it is only in a special circumstance that they may meet. If one is certainly going to die soon, why would that temptation come to the other, except to go together which perhaps the other may not like?

Why must I label or limit myself?

I can live in a cave, a shack, or a mansion. Why must I label or limit myself?

I can fast, eat street food, or dine at the finest restaurants. Why must I label or limit myself?

I can write, build, produce, grow, teach, cook, or be idle. Why must I label or limit myself?

I can be silent or speak my mind throughout the day. Why must I label or limit myself?

I can sit, be happy, and learn from a Buddhist, Christian, Jew, Muslim, Hindu, Jain, Daoist, or Atheist. Why must I label or limit myself?

I can be celibate or sexually active when I choose. Why must I label or limit myself?

I can meditate all day, do yoga, or drink and smoke until the sun rises. Why must I label or limit myself?

I have no label and I have no limits. 

Why is this a “bad” thing?

I remember a time where I was ashamed to be from the rural countryside or “Heartland” of America because I was actually in the minority (of my school) and I thought all the “cool people” came from big cities or whatnot. It took time to realize that I was wrong and that a lot of the people who came from these areas were actually quite “ignorant” themselves even though they would claim otherwise. 

Perhaps there has been a “mission” to destroy the rural “Heartland” of America rather than the whole country. Without a doubt, they have come close. I now understand how lucky I was to grow up in the place that I did. A place where respect, morality, and “freedom” are still considered important values.  The “Heartland” will lead us out of this mess if we can just get a little love from the other “half” of Americans and a leader with the balls to “say it like it is” and do what needs to be done, including putting those in jail who deserve it.  

Most of the time, people try to do “what is best” always. Their problem is that what they believe to be best, has been influenced most or not all of their life, by what someone else considers to be best. If someone tends to listen to everyone else, they do what everyone else thinks is best and maybe not what they consider to be best. If someone tends to listen to their own conscience before they “do what is best”, they still may be hampered by what they have learned in this life, which was perhaps influenced by someone “who did not know what was best.”. If someone has broken out of both… Well then, we have true progress.

Is the only way to stop this to have a visible presence?

Or is it possible to see “more” than they can see? To see further?

Or to let it happen? Let people suffer?

Or to be a light that changes all without visibly affecting the events?

Must we always go through the saeculum? Death and rebirth? How long will this go on? Must we always allow beings to learn and rise? To fight back? It seems they are building a world where this won’t be possible.

If this is the case, then it would seem a visible presence is necessary?

Are they doing what they are doing to bring the invisible to the visible?

I think that the term “grown-up” is widely over-used, and is quite elusive in definition. Because our perspective of what it means to be “grown-up” can constantly change in our lives… Perhaps the only way to “grow up” is to have true “grown up’s” around us. If these do not exist in our childhood or our full family, it may be impossible to meet a true “grown-up” later in life.  

I’m happy to live in the greatest country on earth… I do believe that is true. Our capacity and potential for greatness is what makes the USA the greatest… We have a long way to go, but step by step, we can make it. Our diversity of “way of life”, perspective, culture, and race gives us literally the greatest amount of possibilities… 

Make no mistake that there are two ideologies at battle this moment.  One of “freedom” and one of trusting that “someone will take care of you,” (which has never worked in history). 

All the tricks have not played out yet.

Just because the markets are hitting records at the moment, does not mean that it cannot go the other way just as fast. The facade of our country’s (and world’s) economic “prosperity” will not last forever. 

Whatever happens, be ready for anything. Be self-sufficient. Think for yourself and not what other people are telling you.

Continue to have faith in the most high. We can make it out of anything if you do not lose this…

I am against all who believe they are superior to anyone else. I am against men who believe they are superior to women, just as I am against women who believe they are superior to men. I am against whites who believe they are superior to blacks, just as I am against blacks who believe they are superior to whites. I am against heterosexuals who believe they are superior to homosexuals, just as I am against homosexuals who believe they are superior to heterosexuals. I am against adults and elders who believe they are superior to the youth, just as much as I am against the youth who feel they are superior to adults and their elders.  I am against the wealthy who believe they are superior to the poor, just as much as I am against the poor who believe they are superior to the wealthy… 

We are all equal. If you feel that you are superior to anyone, I am against you… We can only truly unify if we consider all to be equal. We are all in this together… Come together and let’s build a better world.

I cherish knowing that my full potential always lies ahead.

I’ve started to think that there is nothing we can do for own happiness in the present moment. Our happiness is a direct cause of past decisions, thus our future happiness depends on the choices of the present moment. Any time that we defer our future happiness by “forcing happiness” upon our present moment we are perhaps not choosing wisely.

Semantically speaking, we are always in the process of wasting our life. The true question then always will be what should we waste our lives on? That may come down to what we believe has meaning. Should we waste our lives on meaningful things or meaningless things?  Is meaning always subjective? Can we waste our lives doing anything without comparison to others?

I used to have a lot of health issues. Pain, recurring sicknesses, eventually I took control of my own life. I explored other methods or alternative methods of self-healing in yoga and meditation. Not saying this works for everyone, but it works for many people and it worked and works for me. How do you know it wouldn’t work for you unless you try? 

It has come to a point that the level of control has metastasized to a truly unhealthy level globally. Government control, religious control, media control, surveillance control, academia control… It has truly gotten out of hand. In essence, the past control mechanisms have just led us to this point, but we are at a point where we can and are breaking free… It truly comes down to the highest echelons of power do not want to see other people succeed or to rise. That is the natural inclination of an ego out of control; to keep one’s ego “safe” without actually any form of progression, they must rig the system so that others cannot rise by their own free will. Only those whom they choose can rise… These are the people that I am against. Furthermore, I am against all forms of control that only serve the status quo and people in power. It is falling and I’m so happy to see it. The human spirit will make it through this time and the world coming will be so incredibly beautiful. I think that is one difference that I highly notice between myself and others like Daniel… He seems to think that it will only lead to chaos, a la he is pessimistic, but I believe we are going in the right direction 100%. Freedom is our collective karmic destiny. Freedom from malevolent control…

My problem is not an over-sized ego, but a lack of ego, which tends to gravitate to excelling in (or even attempting to) making money. No part of me cares about making money so it is difficult for me to do so. The ego builds itself based upon what it considers it owns.

Why must we all strive,

Just to survive?

Just to be happy?

Who is this great stopper of happiness?

For surely we cannot truly die happy unless some sort of universal happiness exists.

Where have our leaders gone?

Who used to be able to see through the disarray?

Who could see through the fog?

Some of us have no care for pieces of paper and yet pieces of paper seem to rule the world.

Surely it is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

I will not adjust.

I try, but I cannot.

Does this make me deficient in Your eyes?

Happiness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

Sometimes I see It and yet it fades away… 

What am I to do?

I know that you have a plan,

And yet what I see becomes uglier as time goes by.

At this moment,





But I know it is always darkest before the dawn.

Bring it Lord… Can’t do it without ya. 


Life without major problems is the greatest wealth indeed. And, in reality, there is no such thing as “problems”, only situations that need to be taken care of. 

To progress down the path towards spiritual liberation, we must slowly remove the ignorance in our lives to reveal the illusion for what it really is. 9/11 was a key event which helped to strengthen the illusion and transform our reality into a constant state of fear. 

Anyways, the truth of this event will eventually see the light of day… Never stop fighting or standing up for justice, no matter what happens…

The first thing I think one must do in life is to find an actual good place or country to live in. If one is aware their country is sick, they should find one that is healthy. If one can afford to find the right one, all the better… the US is very sick and no one seems to want or be able to admit it. I think maybe only those who have extensively traveled outside of the US would fully admit and recognize this. My dream is to find a place that doesn’t seem sick to me and to start a family with ANY job there.

I have no plan.

The layers are falling off one at a time like a cobra who shakes off its skin.

If absolute uncertainty exists, then it would make sense that absolute certainty is possible. 

Once I make it past the gates, no one will know who I am.

It feels great to say “I have no plan.”

No one can force anyone to come.

People love freedom until they see someone doing something they don’t like and they hate it. My love of freedom incorporates not being against what others want to do or how they want to live their lives…

Freedom is also about having the freedom to break the law and get away with it. I’ve been breaking the law more than half my life, smoking weed being one of them, and getting away with it. It has always been against the law, but it is not against God’s law. God’s laws are what we don’t have the freedom to break and get away with.

I must be loyal to the nightmare of my choice.

I don’t understand why dad gets mad at me when I try to explain that I have no interest in making money. I didn’t grow up with either parent with that urge… More like spending money. Dad may have had the urge to create something, but it was never about the urge to make money. Dad must be introspective enough to learn what is holding him back in life. What is the point in stopping your own evolution? What is the point of stagnation? What is the point of merely existing, but not truly living or striving? Your own choices, every day from big to small, affect your evolution. Today is built from the choices of yesterday and the day before. How can you know what is holding you back and what is not if you are not willing to give up certain things? How can you know what may be a better life if you are not willing to step outside your own comfortability?

One must build their potential before they release it.

I have had several incredible friendships and relationships in my life. If I were any other type of person, if I were the type of person who attempted to change myself to make everyone like me (like perhaps I have been in the past), then I would be risking all of the other friendships and relationships that I have already made… And I am not willing to do that. To me, it is not worth it. I rather have true friendships with people who are also truly themselves, rather than some fake friendship where both people are doing their best to be what the other person wants to see… And, most importantly, we don’t have to agree on everything to be friends! Respect is the most important part of friendship… It is not like everyone I consider to be a friend thinks exactly as I do.

One of the things that my spiritual teacher, S.N. Goenka, said that has always stuck with me is this… When starting his course learning about meditation and dharma, at first it may have seemed that what I hated or disliked was 100% outside of me. I tended to think that if only something outside changed, my anger and hatred would go away. Over time I started to realize oh maybe it is 50% outside of me and 50% inside. Or 50% my fault and 50% their fault. Eventually, I came to realize that 100% of what I hated was my own fault in some way… It had nothing to do with what was occurring outside. We use what is happening outside to justify the hatred that is within us all…

If you hate me or dislike me, or whatever it has nothing to do with me, but what is within you… I cannot help it if you don’t like me. In a certain way, those that we do not like are actually doing us a service by showing that we still have hatred or anger within.

I may fail in my ability to write a perfect essay. I may fail in my ability to find the totality of all necessary evidence for a given subject. But I surely will never fail in my ability to find original theories or conceptualize questions worth asking. If I can make that my bedrock, and writing and research come with time, there are no limits and no answers that cannot be found.

For what good is it if someone can write perfectly, research perfectly, but not conceptualize questions actually worth asking? More so, what fun is it? 

Truth has no limit.

History has no limit.

Lies have no limit.

The limits are artificially placed by those who do not want us to look closer. 

When we add another layer to our magnifying glass,

When we sharpen our scalpels,

All those things you thought forgotten will one day come back into the light… 

No one lights a candle and puts it in a place that is hidden, such as under a bowl.

They put it on a stand, so that those who come in may see the light as well.

It’s about to get very bright.

A general assumption of the religious and non-religious alike is that when we die, we can’t take anything with us. This was quite engrained as an assumption throughout most of my life. I’ve noticed that one of the greatest divergences of belief that I have with either group is that I DO believe there is plenty that we take with us as we progress after physical temporal death. To me these are the most important discoveries that we can make; to figure out what in life we can take with us after death. 

I will not get into the specifics at this time of what I believe these “things” are, only that there are multiple and a variety, and I fully live my life “acquiring” or “participating” in “changes” that transcend death. Individually as well as collectively societal-wise. 

I never feel like I am wasting my time, and I am always “doing” something even if on the surface it may seem otherwise. If I were to die tomorrow, I would be extremely satisfied with what I feel I have “acquired” so far in this life, and truly I am the only one (except for the One above) who is fully aware of what I have or have not done or “acquired”.

I feel that as human beings we have a primordial need to see justice being carried out to the unjust, especially when it comes to the elite or people in leadership positions. If one has asked themselves what is wrong in life, or what they were missing, one simple answer could be the lack of justice that we have seen for the majority of our lives. I would argue living in a world absent of true justice is actually quite an anomaly historically-speaking. And yet that is the world that “they” have attempted to build. That’s why it feels so strange. So awkward. This is all about to change. 

The snakes have taken over the henhouse. But have no fear for we all know that if one chops the head off a snake, the snake will always die. The executioner’s ax is fully sharpened. There will be nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. No hole to slither into…

For those concerned with reputation above all else, the death of one’s reputation can be worse, and certainly more “eternal”, than death itself, for one’s reputation transcends death. History has never been kind to the wicked.

Justice is coming.

My foxhole can never be overrun, anywhere on this earth, for I am connected with Him. I shall not run. I shall not hide. 

I shall never give up. I shall never surrender for I can become an island unto myself when I need to be. No one is my boss and no one has control over me. I will prevail for I can see through the cracks in the system… Sometimes when a force tries to stop us, a force within us of equal or greater strength can gather to overcome the external. Sorry for the vagueness, and the enigmatic-ness of this post! There are many who love me around the world and I know who they are. I seek their love, prayers, and “realness” going forward. This Christmas was what I needed to rejuvenate my spirit, and to see what I needed to do. I am doubling down on the path I have set. I am removing the things holding me back. Nothing more. 

I have been through quite a bit in my life and He has seen it fit to test me and to teach me exactly what I need to know at this moment and for that, all I can say is thank you to the one watching above. Many times it seems it is just Him and I against the threshold; that is fine by me. My foxhole can never be overrun, anywhere on this earth, for I am connected with Him. I shall not run. I shall not hide. 

Sending my love to all of those who know me truly. Know that I will prevail in these trying times! We are only who we believe we can be! I’m aiming higher.

Do not be afraid to be boring.

You say you want to take the hardest path.

The hardest path is the seemingly “boring” one.

You shall have your rewards in time.

Why take the immediate reward when the greater award awaits through strong determination and effort?

It is ok to be boring.

“[i]I imagine one day getting to a point in humanity that there is nothing that we have to do. Only things that we want to do.

I am so lucky to have made it to where I am right now. There is nothing that I feel I have to do, only things that I want to do[/i].”

Now I realize that everyone is not at this stage in their lives, but I do feel that we are ALL on the path to getting to this level. There is no rush to become free of duties or responsibilities. Many times there are things that we have to do to get to a point that there is nothing that must be done, and this is ok.  This is a tangible goal that we can all aim to achieve, collectively and individually… The more that people have a wish to become free of things that must be done, the quicker we can reach there as a whole. Then anything truly becomes possible. 

The world is run by secrets.

The question is can we consciously control what we unconsciously believe to be true? 

I am only trying to make peace. We may be peaceful but are we truly “at peace”? I feel the only way to be at peace is to uncover all the secrets of our past. It’s like a relationship. Two people can be happy and peaceful in a relationship even with secrets, but as long as those secrets are there, are the two truly at ease, at peace? Only once those secrets come out can the two finally be at peace. It is my duty as a historian to uncover these secrets to then bring people to a true state of peace. That’s all I’m doing at the moment and what I’m dedicating myself to do in the future.

I’m taking an indefinite break from social media for a while, as well as curbing or cutting off my “news junkiness” addiction. One day we must all learn to cut off, even perhaps temporarily, what is holding us back from going forward. I feel to focus on reconstructing our past, I must stop being so focused on the events of the present moment, as well as attempting to predict our potential future… To go forward, I must go backwards into history. To me, nothing is off-limits. I’m in the search for “our story.”

What to do when there is nothing I feel like doing?

How can I express how I feel?

Like a man completing a long journey,

Breaking free from his cage again.

What can someone do to a man who wants nothing,

Who supports no specific way,

Who is only looking for reality,

Who is only looking for his family?

Where have they gone?

What will happen when no one is in control?

Will we rip each other to shreds or put each other together?

Don’t believe the propaganda that we cannot rule ourselves,

For this is the great lie of our time.

I have seen things you can’t possibly imagine,

This is my neutral ground,

My stomping ground,

And building ground,

From where I was created.

I go flutter away,

Not fiscally, but butterfly-ily.

Into the distant horizon,

Hop on a plane,

Sometimes it is insane,

Only because I asked God to show me his reign.

I try to accept,

I try to not care,

But it is difficult when I disagree,

From here to there.

What can I do?

When I am so uncertain?

The color of a curtain.

Who are you to trap us here?

How can you get out of a prison that you cannot see?

This cannot be the only existence,

Misery is still misery even if not identified as such. Some people are miserable their whole lives and are not even aware that a non-miserable state exists. This must change.

My greatest fear is someone coming to me in ten, twenty, or thirty years down the line and saying, “You haven’t changed a bit!” Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Doesn’t matter. Change is ALWAYS good. A lack of change or the possibility to change (to me) is worse than death. 

To change is to evolve.

It is so easy to take for granted the knowledge, and the access to knowledge, that we currently have in today’s existence. I find it atrocious that some of the largest and most powerful countries in the world fully censor and “hide” certain information to its citizenry. It is easy to imagine this censorship spreading as the might and power of these countries also spread. We must do all that we can to not allow this to take place. Knowledge is power and those that block knowledge block what I would consider to be a true fundamental human right. 

Death does not scare me. My death, nor the death of others. What scares me the most is getting to a point in humanity where it is no longer possible to “break free.” Permanent enslavement. This is always the penultimate goal of the evil that lurks underneath. This “evil” (for lack of a better term) has done it’s best to ensure that even if it is metaphysically doomed, it will physically guarantee its survival and ability to thrive in the long run. It must be cut off at the root, which is essentially ignorance. Whether this evil is “of” our world or not is a question that perhaps can never be answered. But, some men and women have always dedicated their lives to fighting in this war. We are just the newest generation to do so. Keep up the fight. 

People who talk about privilege don’t understand that it is also a privilege to start from scratch. 

It must be a great feeling to know that one rose from the bottom. A feeling that can not be experienced by one from a higher class, except if one believes in reincarnation and karma. It must be a great feeling to feel so free, to not have expectations, nor footsteps to follow in any one path. It must be a great feeling to not have one or many looking over one’s shoulder, constantly in judgment. It must be a great feeling to not be judged for what one’s last name may be.

The elite are the ones who broke out of the situation they were born into, rich or poor.

One day people may call me a great man. Not because I wish to be a great man, but because I never faltered in my convictions. 

Most people might not know it, but in the end, we all want someone who has the ability to make us suffer; who has the ability to break our hearts. If we always meet people who cannot do this, we will never have any “skin in the game.”

It’s sad to me that the path or road to fame has become the natural choice of people in recent years. People don’t have the objective ability to stop and think if that is something they really want. It is “oh of course” that is what I want because that is what everyone else wants. 

I am the battering ram of individualism that will break down the encroaching wall of collectivism. I will shatter it into the wind. And it will never return.

Ultimately it seems pretty easy for me to see a war being waged between the “hidden” Christian Zionist/Judaism empire versus that of the “overt” Liberal/groupthink/socialists/China empire. Are these the only two major powers in the world? Will both destroy each other in the process? 

There are not only two powers in this world. There are two powers that are vying for control of the United States. This is different. Thus there is a third power, the individuals that reside as Americans within the United States. There is the “covert” empire of Judaism/Christian Zionism/(one could even say religion as a whole) versus the “overt” empire of socialism/groupthink/liberalism/China. The middle man is the individual him or herself. The United States is the foundation and the country of individuals. Both empires exert their influences to sway the individuals to their sides. Thus the true warrior must fend off both empires while fighting for the law, the country, and the right of the individual him or herself. The tech sector is aligned with both of these empires in different ways. This is the battle being waged. 

I have already put my foot into the sand against the “covert” empire. Now it is my time to put my foot in the sand against the “overt” empire. Once I have done this, I will begin the outward push against both. And DC will be my stomping grounds. That is the battle that I see for myself.

To me, life at the end of the day is just about finding what is worth doing and doing it. But taking this further, we must figure out what is stopping us from doing what we feel is worth doing and removing it from our lives.

I have been reading and writing so much recently. I think because I have been sober from all my drinking, smoking, and meat for over a month now. I have realized that pretty much everything that I know now comes from people in the past who exerted great effort to distill and send what they learned into the future through books, movies, etc. for people like me to read and understand. Thus it is up to people in the present moment to continue this distillation and “pushing it further” down the line for future generations. 

What would you say if someone worried about your past mental illness?

Mental illness is like poison. If one has become mentally ill and overcome it, then the chance or likelihood for that person to become mentally ill again is lessened to the point that one can become immune to mental illness. There are overall reasons, some that are brought on by “things” that we have no control over and some that are brought upon by “things” that we do have control of but perhaps are unaware of at the time of that “choice”. For the one who is constantly battling with mental illness, a major prerequisite to becoming immune to mental illness is to be vigilant to the causes of mental illness that oftentimes can only be known in hindsight. 

Furthermore and lastly, the person who has become immune to this mental illness will ultimately be much better off and more stable than the one who has not become immune. Over and over throughout the world’s history, men who perhaps would have been great leaders have been overtaken by mental illness, usually after acquiring a certain amount of power or even absolute power, which then went on to cause great destruction for their citizens and neighbors. Thus a prerequisite for true leadership one could say is to become immune to this mental illness. Furthermore, mental illness itself, it could be argued, is brought upon by “evil” itself in order to drive the one man who attempts to overcome it or the “evil” of the world. 

The only way to make a real change is to inject oneself into the public domain. If one is strong enough, it doesn’t matter what one has done in the past, nor who his enemies are, nor is their bad press. The decision must be made to inject oneself into the public domain and after that, the cards will fall where they may.  We have to choose the right time to do so though. 

If I could choose between being a little nutty in my youth and being stable and clear-minded as I get older or visa versa I would gladly choose the former.

The tears streamed all day. What could he do, but feel pity for those who watched him? What could he do, but cry for their lack of souls? How had the world become such a monstrosity? Did it happen when he was asleep? How can people live with themselves in this day and age? What is the year?

One once told me that the only thing that could not reconcile a relationship was disgust and that they could never be with their ex again because they were by his or her actions. If disgust is the one thing that cannot be overcome, how does one expect another to overcome it? By magic? How does one think that I feel? How does one think it is possible for me to overcome when I too feel disgust?

Sometimes to be a hero,

We don’t have to be anyone special,

Anyone other than who we already are.

A hero can be a farmer.

A businessman.

A teacher.


How can we feel heroic in our lives,

If we never learn how to live?

Can heroism be our aim,

If the system of control’s aim is to remove our sight?

We can all be heroes in our day to day life…

But there may come a new time,

Where heroes will be openly seen again.

What will it look like?

Date approximately March 2018

    He approached the embassy in Tel Aviv that was under renovation with calmness. He had something urgent to do. What was going to happen? How bad could it be? The line to enter the side of the embassy was hundreds of feet long. Probably all Israelis trying to get US visas. This embassy would not be here in a few months from now as President Trump had just declared that Jerusalem would be the new capital and that the US embassy would move with it. He didn’t have time to wait in that long of a line.

    With his passport in hand, he waited for the door to open and close that would allow people to enter and go through a metal detector. There had to have been at least ten initial Israeli guards at the entrance to the embassy. Why wasn’t there U.S. troops or citizens protecting what was technically U.S. land? As the door opened, the main guard had his back turned and he made a dash for the entrance, passport raised. Immediately upon entering he was ambushed by at least 15 guards, throwing him on the ground, holding his body down with a foot on his head. “I’m an American citizen!” he desperately yelled. They went through his pockets and found his wallet. They asked him if he was going to continue to be a problem and he said no. Eventually, the men carried him outside of the embassy, past the long line and behind a wall that was away from the embassy. There had to have been at least 30 or 40 guards at this point, all with weapons and many with full body armor and large semi-automatic weapons.

    “Why did you do this?” They repeatedly asked.“ I only wanted to speak to an American citizen.” Rummaging through his wallet they found his student I.D. To the University of Tel Aviv. “Are you a student here?” He replied in the affirmative. “Have you been taking any medication or drugs?” “No, not at all.”

    Eventually, three American workers of the embassy came out to speak with the man. He could tell by there accents that they were from the US. “What happened?”, they asked. “I just wanted to speak to an American citizen.”

    Eventually, after he calmed down, they gave him back his wallet and passport and he walked away.

Two – Date approximately March 2019

It was a day like any other except Winter Park’s Park Avenue had been the scene of another “crazy” event in his life approximately twelve years earlier. 

He knew they were watching him as he could feel it. After three days checked into the Park Ave Hotel, he knew he had to escape somehow as they were close. The balcony wrapped around the entire hotel and was interconnected to where one could walk around if needed. This was the only way out.

Passing plant by plant he walked around the balconies until he reached a place that he could not go any further. Almost parkour-like, he jumped the balcony rim, shimmied across a pipe, down onto a lower roof, and eventually onto the ground. A man was using some sort of device that looked like a survey tool that was aimed directly at the wall. He yelled at the running man and asked what he was doing. Who was this supposed surveyor? He crossed the side street and went past the rose garden towards the train stop in Park Ave’s park area. He had only his truck key and his hotel key, but not identification. 

As he approached the train stop, he thought it might be a good idea to bury those keys on the side of one of the ramp entrances to the station. As he began to walk inside the station, he knew he was going to jump one of these trains, but which one? Would he go North or South? That is exactly when around four fully body armored Department of Homeland Security men showed up on all corners. What were they here for? For him or something else? Why would the DHS show up randomly to a calm little train station in the middle of Winter Park, Florida? Were they there for him? Of course they were. 

He acted calm and he was not even remotely scared of the men and did not make them think that he was aware of their presence. The DHS could not just randomly handcuff or take a man for doing nothing wrong. The train approached. Either he could go back to the hotel and act like nothing had happened or he could jump on the train even though he had no money and no ticket. The ticket operator was collecting tickets from oncoming passengers. He made sure to see when the operator was looking down and went for it, jumping into the train entrance and up into the cabin. Immediately he went for the bathroom and locked the door. This was an old trick he had learned in Israel when jumping trains from the North to Tel Aviv. He laid down on the floor and waited, like a man in an escape pod heading for who knows where. Should he stay or should he jump back off he thought? Finally, he decided to jump back off. This is when the DHS started to come after him. The man walked down the train tracks before the men could catch him. He started to run and the men were far behind.

He was approximately one hundred yards in front of the train when it began to take off. For some reason, he decided to stand on the middle of the tracks and walk towards the train as it was coming towards him. He reached out his hand as if he meant to say stop. The train immediately hit its breaks and the man continued to walk towards the train. The train operator jumped out and yelled at the police and DHS that someone was on the train tracks.

“I believe there is something wrong with this train, like a bomb or something,” the man said to the train operator. 

To be continued….

Both of these events are on video record. Will be hilarious one day to go back and watch them. In both cases, I was tackled by tons of police. In both cases, I was doing nothing wrong. In the first case, since I was doing nothing wrong, I was immediately released. In the second, they tried to put me away but failed, as once again, I was doing nothing wrong. 

I believe they “push” people to have these sorts of “episodes” in various forms. They try to stay behind the shadows. The second story was my “unconscious” way of getting them to expose themselves. Before then, “they” did not have a face. Now they do. I could never have consciously planned that. It was by God that it happened. My goal is to dismantle all networks of spies or police that purposefully “push” any individual into that sort of mindset or episode. I will not rest until they are all truly scattered to the winds. I may take a break, but there shall never be any rest. So God help me.

The resurrection can be seen on a metaphorical level in that every man and woman has the ability to resurrect spiritually and metaphysically. To survive and to thrive. To live on…

I take pride in being proud.

Something I have been thinking about is that everyone these days, if they use social media, are their own news aggregators for others to read if readers choose to do so. Facebook, Twitter, etc. are just apps that allow every individual to aggregate news and spread it at whim. It is not the problem that the corporations have wittingly allowed individuals to become this, it is that these companies have lost the ability to control what the people say, do, or think. Everyone must eventually learn to sift and read through the news with an objective perspective because of the huge amount of news aggregates naturally forming. Like a mass aggregate society. This in actuality gives us the best chance at coming to an objective agreement overtime for what is best for society. For libertarians and non-interventionists and objectivists, such as myself, this is a wonderful time because the culture war is shifting in our favor. The issue with big tech is that they can see that they are rapidly losing the objective culture war, as their subjective authoritarian viewpoints are being fought against and disproved daily. It is becoming easier to see where we are heading as time goes by, and big tech and big gov KNOW that they are on their way out eventually. They must be objective about what they have become… a force for evil against not only the American citizens but every world citizen. 

I like studying history because we can figure out who in the past “created our world”, from the local to the global scale. If the world is fucked up, it is only because certain people in the past planned it that way. As a historian, it is our job to figure out who to hold capable for the fucked up situations we get ourselves into locally and globally. Who made the decisions to get us here? The perpetrators should (and will) always one day be held accountable, whether they are alive or already dead. That is the historian’s duty. 

If you feel confident that your life is a good one and you live your life fully and morally, it should be your duty to let yourself become known to others, for we live in a time where the best of us are considered the worst of us and are hidden with all fervor by the establishment and powers that be. The fact that some have broken free means that we all can if we put our mind to it. The key is to know when to become known and what for.

Love – Anomallium – Ch. 2

What if I was a policeman, firefighter, wildlife photog, soldier? Would you worry about me every day? Tell me to stay home and “get a safe job”? Put me in your home, and lock me up?

I’m sorry that I can’t be what you want me to be. I’m sorry that your lives are run by fear and mine is run on freedom. You fear loss so much you have not learned how to truly live. Loss of possessions. Loss of family members. Loss of your own life. I have no fear of loss and that is what allows me to live. I know without a shadow of a doubt what happens to me if by chance I would die and this is my absolute and ultimate insurance policy. God protects those who serve in his name with a pure heart. If you say “I’m going to go serve in his name, but I want this or that as well. I want fame or fortune or my family to be proud or whatever, he will not protect you. But if you serve in HIs name with absolute Faith, Trust, and hoping for absolutely nothing in return, he will look out for you.

Only you can truly tell your sincerity or purity of heart. And God can tell. Others can’t. If you tell others “I am doing this purely for God.” and you have even a trace or tinge of ego involved like “This will help my career. This will make people like me. This will get me a book deal.” then you are not 100% doing it with a pure heart. Once again, do whatever you do with a pure heart and you will always be protected.

Remove your fear, especially of me. I could die at any moment. Not just when I am in a ” dangerous” place. What would you do then? Mourn for eternity? I am only happy when helping others. It’s time to step up to the plate and help where it is truly needed.

What happened to people when they died before Jesus came? Did God send them all to hell? For thousands of years before he came? That’s what you believe?

How trapped can one feel,

As one so in love,

Yet set on liberation?

The top goal for the mundane,

And the supermundane,

Unfortunately, can never be the same. 

Oh Lord please grant me wisdom, 

To distinguish what is the right choice

For I’m so lost, do I have to make a decision as tough as this?

Blank Passport

All she ever wanted to do was see the world, yet she had a blank passport.

 All she ever wanted to do was see the world, yet she had a blank passport. 

All she ever wanted to do was see the world, yet she had a blank passport. 

All I ever wanted to do was see the world, yet I leave with a blank passport.

She didn’t have the time to though,

All she ever wanted to do was see the world,

Didn’t have the support though,

Aw I’m so happy I can now see the world, yet she leaves with a blank passport.

All she ever wanted to do was see the whole wide world,

different sights and different scenes.

I promise if you come back for just one day,

we will do so many things.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I can’t be what you want me to be,

No desire to gain fame or fortune,

No desire for cars, women, or property,

No desire to build my own family,

No desire to needlessly compete any longer,

No desire to stay or to settle,

It is true I may not be built for this particular paradigm,

But I assure you it won’t last,

And one day…

One day not far from now,

My particular skill-set will be in high demand.

But until then,

I’m sorry I can’t be what you want me to be.

Maybe there is something in me that brings out the best in you and there is something. In you that brings out the best in me?

Write a poem about going back and forth between reaching for the known and unknown. My inability to grab a hold of anything. To be comfortable or to find a comforter.

The Dreaming Traveler

Drifting once again,

Lost in the sea of bore.

How many times have I been here before?

I grasp.

I grasp for life,

I grasp for death.

I grasp for the unknown,

Then the known.

Why can’t I just hold onto something?

That’s all that I want.

A hand to hold onto.

I yearn to be at rest.

I yearn to sleep the good sleep.

I yearn to find what I’m looking for.

How can I find it if I don’t even know it exists?

Why do you make this game so hard?

Why do you make it impossible to win?

Impossible to come to rest?

I prop my head from its slumber.

I look around to see anyone else awake.

I try to find the swimmers,

I try to find the dancers,

The music-makers…

And yet I always eventually find silence.

The shallow water.

The open dance floor.

And so I will go about singing my own song.

Dancing my own dance.

Looking for the flooded waters…

Until one day…

I’ll find the fish or bird that I am seeking.

And that day I will be at rest.

It’s not that I don’t miss you. It’s that I don’t miss anything. Missing something would be craving the past or future. If I were to say I miss you it would just be to make you feel better and not the actual truth.

It’s not that my terms are harsh, it’s just that I know exactly what I want in life.

Beauty shines the brightest in those who don’t worry about how beautiful they are.

It’s a long way down and a long way up,

Trapped on the cliff with no one to hold on to,

No rope and no buckle,

The stone is cold and the sun is blocked by the clouds,

All I want, all I need is a hand,

A hand to give me that little help over the ledge,

How many times have I made it this far,

Who can give me the strength to push further?

Not much more to go now,

Just a little more,

One big rush hearing the word,

Hoist myself to the top,

The clouds clear and the sun warms my face,

And then I ask myself…

Should I stay or should I go?

The search for natural happiness is the search for unpredictability. Predicting we will be happy rarely leads to natural happiness.

Companionship is a precursor to love, love is not a precursor to companionship.

“Love” many times is not so much “love” as it is an addiction. Addiction to someone being addicted to you. The common phrase “true love” can be misinterpreted when two people are addicted to the other being addicted to them. One person “becoming less addicted” can cause the whole “love” to evaporate quickly.  

“Love” is a one-way street. I “love” you exactly how you are and I don’t wish you to change at all. “True love” is when both people love the other exactly as they are… 

They may be addicted in some way but they are not addicted to being addicted to.

I cannot help my heartbreaker-ness. It is never my intention to do so. I cannot help that I tend to fall in love and out of love easily. Do you think that love is something that can be controlled? I wish it were so easy. Knowing my past, what am I to do? Give up on women and love?  

Many times throughout our lives, people are meant for each other; maybe not forever, but for that precise moment. And that is beautiful in itself. Why do people feel compulsions to be around or with certain people and not others? Promiscuity is heavily stigmatized in societies throughout the world. Should it be? Of course, complete sexual promiscuity without any conscious intention can be harmful, but promiscuity in the idea that we are naturally attracted to people we meet on our journeys should not be necessarily looked down upon because there are important reasons for it. There is a mature way to understand and handle our relationships and friendships. If we can totally learn this “art”, how far can we go? This is the “art” that I am studying and would like to begin to explain.

Delusions are important in our lives in that after a delusionary episode, whether big or small, we are less likely in the future to fall into the same delusion again or others that are similar. Nearly always, we do not realize that we are delusionary until after the period has finished, and that is fine as long as we successfully make it into a clear frame of mind from which to view and assimilate new realizations. Once we have made it through enough delusions, we can start to be more aware of when we are actually living in reality and what reality entails. Many may think “reality” being something beyond “this world”, but reality is within this world if we can find it.

I have gone through many transformations within the past seven years or so. Initially, my journey led down the path of volunteer work or “karma yoga” in Nepal. This led me to a further appreciation of “service” to others and the qualities that matter to different religions. After returning to the states, my passion to understand various religions continued and eventually led me down the spiritual path, which can be read about here. Last year I began this blog to document what I had learned and to have an outlet to write in the future. The “new” knowledge that I have learned has sort of taken this to a “higher level” per se, at least in my own regards.

Three months ago, after my last meditation course, I was “presented” with a book written by Carl Jung to study and incorporate into my path. I had bought two Jung books about four months before and read the first Memories, Dreams, and Reflections. The second book, Archetypes of the Collective Unconscious, I began after the Vipassana course on “meta day.” When I started reading it, because of the clarity of my mind at the time, I was able to quickly deduce whether what he was trying to say was correct or not. Within a very short amount of pages, my entire life had changed. I was just able to see my past and present experiences and relationships in a new light and the world made much more sense afterward. Since then, I have applied this information to my life and it has changed once again.

I was immediately able to see my present relationship and past few relationships in this light and I was able to communicate with those individuals and share with them what I had learned. Initially there was confusion or non-belief, but eventually they knew it to be true as well.

The basis is this: The only way that we can evolve or change who we are is by being around other people. Not so far-fetched. But to understand the exact processes that occur, metaphysically, changes everything.

One important aspect of Jung’s “theory” is that it is not a theory at all, but an empirical fact. That anyone can understand and replicate this within their own lives. Even if we are hesitant to believe, it still is always occurring, has always occurred, and will always occur. With this said, the more that people can be aware of this knowledge, the faster “positive” changes can happen within our society at large.

There are many different types of archetypes, but Jung chooses to focus heavily on the anima archetype or anima/anima relationship the most, perhaps because it is quite easy to see in our lives. He states that the meeting of an anima and an animus is fate, but what occurs after the meeting is free will. Anyone that studies philosophy will understand the debate that has occurred since time remembered of whether or not we have free will or predestination. In this metaphysical system, fate and free will co-exist in the present moment. Through our own free will we change who we are fated to meet. Perhaps only through this process can we actually meet the “one” if they do indeed exist. I have written about it a lot in past writings. Finally, this is an easy way to see how both can work within our world.

Why is there a need for these relationships to occur? The reason for these meetings to occur is to create balance within our society, by creating balance within the individual. Balance how? It is important to understand that we can be either an anima or an animus and are throughout our lives to countless individuals. The anima is the representative of the feminine unconscious. The animus is the representative of the masculine consciousness. When these two meet up, the desired “goal” is for both parties to work together to “transmute” the unconscious anima archetype, making it conscious. When this occurs, the person who had an imbalance of femininity becomes more masculine and the person with an imbalance of masculinity becomes more feminine. This is the only way for this “balancing” to occur on a spiritual “internal” level. In actuality, we are not balancing our own energies, we are increasing them both to higher levels gradually. Masculine energy does not necessarily mean “manliness” and feminine energy does not necessarily mean “womanliness.” To me increasing our masculine energy means increasing our ability to “take control” of our lives. Increasing our feminine energy means learning to “let go”. If someone takes control or let’s go for too long, both paths lead to misery. We must learn to “swim” between the two energies. This can only be done through the process of the anima-animus relationship.

Meditation is amazing in the fact that it can help us to become the “best possible version” of who we are at this moment, but it cannot fundamentally change who we are. The anima/animus relationship is actually the way to mold and change who we are and we cannot always “choose” the way that we would like to evolve. This is beneficial to the “grand story” in that we do not know who we will be in the future as we do not know who “fate” has in store for us to meet. In my own journey, there is no way I could have predicted who I would be today one year ago, five years ago, ten years ago, etc. I believe this “path” will continue and there is no way I can predict who I will be in the years to come. Those that wish to “plan” their whole lives, to stay on a “path” or “track” are limiting themselves and their own evolution.

So, occasionally, when a person is “stuck” for too long in their path, whether that be the conscious “in control” path or the unconscious “letting go” path, an individual will be “fatefully” assigned to that person to help them “break free” from their own evolution’s “stuckness”. This occurs every moment of every day for people across the world, whether they are aware of it or not. It is so fundamental and intrinsic to our world that the world could not continue otherwise. Jung goes further and states that this process has been occurring since before time began. Something that is not necessarily important to fully understand at this moment, other than everything that we think we know, our morals, our history, everything has been shaped by this process.

If we can be consciously aware of this process in our day-to-day lives, we can change our own fate, or at least who we will meet in the future. Where will it lead? Who will we meet? The “one”? Does the one actually exist? Because the thought or the experience of the one comes so often, especially as an anima, we must be constantly vigilant to its potential falsehood. The one may just be special in that they allow us to continue meeting new people, except with the stability of a companion to keep us “on track”.

The anima within, at least to me, feels like a “compulsion” to be with a specific person or animus. Overtime, which varies, this compulsion slowly rises and passes away and then all that exists is love. There is no more compulsion, and it is “ok” for both to move on in their respective lives separately. Usually, coming back together feels that the two never separated and the love between the two does not decrease. There is just no longer a “need” to be with that person. There is no more jealousy or anger if that person moves on and usually both people do feel comfortable moving on after a transmutation has occurred. Many times, they can and do stay together. This process occurs whether people are consciously aware of it or not.

I have always noticed that I tend to fall in and out of love quickly and this information explains the reasons I have always been like this. Is it a “bad” thing? Perhaps society may say so, but I see it as a plus to be “successful” in this life and process. Is love something that can be controlled or only accepted when it comes? For me, I merely accept it when it comes in the present and I know that it will always come again in the future.

To me, it is incredible that this is not “common knowledge” at this moment. Perhaps it has been in the past, but just forgotten or not properly acknowledged. When we discover metaphysical empirical facts about our lives that we were at one time unaware of, it can make a major shift in our development and awareness.

In the past, if I met someone I was perhaps different from, or didn’t particularly like, or seemed boring, I might not have given them the time of day. I just didn’t think it was important to focus on them. Now I see the importance of every meeting and every person that I meet. This process allows both individuals to “evolve,” and in doing so it evolves humanity. What is the final evolution? Is there one? I’m not sure, but it is not necessarily important. The journey is the destination.

In the past three months since I began consciously “experimenting” with this knowledge, I feel my life has taken another course. I can now actively see when “fate” intervenes in my life, introducing me to new people. I no longer have to actively seek out new relationships or friendships. They are “sent” to me. I can also now immediately be aware of when I am an anima or animus to another person. I can see their “imbalances” of masculinity or femininity and why I am there in their life. Since I am completely comfortable with my own masculinity or femininity, there is a pretty equal amount of times that I am “chosen” to be either an anima or an animus. I have also got to the point that I can recognize the transformations that are occurring within my own spirit and body, becoming more masculine or feminine after transmutations. These changes inevitably change my own course and who I will meet in the future. My physique has changed in the past three months. Muscles and “sculptedness” are coming to areas that were not “sculpted” in the past, without any type of physical exercise to accompany it.

In essence, this process means that we will never get tired of our lives, for we will never know who we will be in the future. A society of constantly evolving fully aware individuals will be something amazing to witness. We will never get tired or want to go somewhere else like “heaven” or “nirvana.” This is heaven on earth… If one can answer the question of why we are here, and easy answer would be to continually evolve. This process, and understanding it fully, is one of the most fundamental ways of doing so.

We should not be afraid of swimming throughout the world, meeting new people, and realizing why we are meeting them. Embrace this metaphysical “rule to the game”.


You may change who I am but don’t try to change who I am.

Write a song/poem about my travels and the highs and lows of the past two years. Falling in love, but giving it up for the path. Sometimes we have to make hard choices, sometimes we get no choice at all, but when we fall, get back up and cross it all. Cross to the other side, use the raft you know how to use, show the world there is a way, but don’t forget to play… How hard it is to love without being attached. Someone always gets hurt. To go beyond, we must be willing to make the ultimate sacrifices and to give up everything.

(either add here or in eternal)

I feel that one of the worst things that we can do for ourselves is to create a situation in life where we can no longer change. Change is an integral part of our human condition… Just as necessary as air, water, food or love. Our emotions, our desires, which are important to us, all of this will change throughout our lives. Being scared to change or resisting is ultimately futile, in this life or the next. Why not instead embrace the transformation, evolve and see who you become? It is nearly impossible to imagine who we will ultimately be and to reflect on the changes that have occurred in our lives is one of the greatest gifts that we have 🙂

Staying in the shallow water is fine and dandy, but only after we learn to wade and swim in the depths can we find the pearls waiting to be discovered…

It’s not about who we know or meet, it is about how high the quality of our meetings are…  

The people who influence us earlier in life seem to hold a greater influence on our current futures. Starting with our parents, then teachers, and eventually friends and colleagues. These influences growing up seem almost exponential. Those that we meet today, we may feel the same about in the future.

(add near Jung)

It is not always easy to be around one who does not love the world, and yet maybe the only way for them to learn is for one who does love the world to be around them.

My relationships with women have been based upon one main tenet the past however many years; I will stay with a woman as long as I am more happy with her than I am alone. I do not know why I abide by this rule, only that I have noticed it true and now tend to live by it. 

Perhaps one could say there are blessings an curses for one who lives purely in the present moment. It plays a part in many ways. Right now is always the most important time to me. How can I be so sure of the rewards of “investing” in a relationship, if I lose the happiness of my present moment; even more so with how high divorce rates are these days… 

I do not see myself changing this rule anytime soon; for that would mean I would have to sacrifice my own happiness, either before or during the relationship. I do however believe there are special women out there who can and will hold my interest and happiness for more than a short time and by God, there must be at least one who could do it my whole life. Now if I could only find her and she would have me… I will gladly risk singleness and lifelong bachelorhood just to give myself a chance to find this woman. That’s how much I believe in “the one.”

Let this world be a comedy.

Add that it’s important for respect to exist between the masculine and masculine and visa versa. Only by showing a deeper example can the transmutation occur. I feel I can be as masculine as anyone and feminine as well. This is my own peculiarity.

Love is not a constant, it’s an ever-renewing source. We just have to be patient and it will fill again.

The energy of a special person is worth flying around the world to be with even for a single day… 

Swag is just controlled ego.

The only time that we get stronger is when we continue to work when we are tired. So be happy when you are tired.

It is written

It is written, man,

Turn down the war,

In el-Violence-Stan,

Like we bitten, man,

Poisoned by that peace gland.

Who gonna stop the movement?

Can see the improvement.

Now the balls rollin’,

Can’t stop that groovement.

The evil has already folded,

Good is here to stay.

It is written, man,

What I have to say.

Just wake up,

Give in to the illusion.

It is written,

And you can’t stop delusion.

Can’t stop delusion,

But you can break free,

Believe in me,

The sweet, sweet, sweet is

Coming once again.

The wine doesn’t work anymore,

Why can’t I close that door?

It’s can always be this way,

We must try to do it away.

In the end we all go to the same place,

Another lesson to embrace.

The complexity is complete,

Back to where we started last week.

Whenever you and me

Whenever you and me.

Whenever you and me.

Be, we be, completely, free. 

Ohh you know,

Ooohh you know…

Oohh u know…

Back in the day,

We danced the night away…

We got to mess and mess,

With nothing but the best.

We danced that night away,

We danced that night away,

We danced that night away.

Traveling across the road, 

longer and longer,

The night never ends,

Though the light gets stronger.

We Just have fate,

To watch the creation pass by,

Lets set a date,

To watch that time fly by.

What if I were to join the Marines and was sent off to war? What would you do? Would you constantly worry and ruin your own lives with worry or would you relax and let me live my life? Would you say “Oh no, send him home!” The case is that I’m not in the Marines, nor am I an aggressive “fighting” type person. I’m a pacifist. If anything I would stay to help out the wounded, but there would be no reason for someone to have a reason to want to kill me. So please just chill out!

It’s like if two hardworking people live together it helps both out. One sees the other working hard and it drives the other to work hard. If two lazy people live together, it makes them both lazier as they see each other being lazy and don’t feel compelled to change.

It is the duty of both sexual partners to be in such health to excite the other physically. When there is excitement in looks, there is never a time of impotence. Where there is no excitement in looks, there is are problems.

I look at every single person as a unique piece of art, externally and internally, constantly changing and evolving. Every being is one of a kind. Some art takes a long time to produce. Many lives, many years. I’m just an observer. 

I may not be exactly what everyone wants, but I may be exactly what someone wants.

Is all anyone really wants is to be seen as an equal. Not treated as an equal. Seen. Anyone can treat another as an equal. Not everyone can fully “see” us as equals. 

“Seeing each other as equals” has nothing to do with observing external qualities. It has to do with recognizing beings within. Even if we might be in different stages of evolution, ultimately the beings within all of us are of equal importance and quality.

Seeing each other as equals is the basis or foundation from which we create bonds. Tangible, metaphysical bonds. Once these bonds are formed, they last for “eternity” in the full sense of the word. Ego between the bonded will never arise again. Competition, in a negative sense, will not rise again. The bonded are always “in the flow.” The greatest times are to be had between multiple “inter-bonded” people… And the “wealthiest” people in the world are those who have created the most bonds, who have developed the ability to “see” others, regardless of gender, race, or class, as equals. 

The best families are the ones where the members see each other as equals, with no feelings of superiority anywhere. The best businesses are the ones where the owners or bosses see their employees as equals. Not as lesser than in any way. The best teachers are the ones who see their students as equals. As beings who want to learn and have ambition.

And the list goes on and on. 

Being better families, being better bosses, being better teachers, and being better people starts with practicing seeing others as equals… Don’t stop… 

It’s one thing to have mental issues and still be a genuinely nice and good person.

Totally another to have issues and be maleficent, evil, vindictive, manipulative, etc.

We can only help someone so much. In the end, that person must help themselves.

One of the hardest things to do is to tell someone that you never want to see them again, mean it, and stick to it. It’s not necessarily for you, it is for them. If one says they honestly care about you and your opinion, then completely removing them from your life can perhaps teach some sort of lesson.

In the end, a major “breakdown” can be beneficial to a completely lost or “psychotic” person. Better for it to go fast than drag on for an entire life.

There is no reason to say “I love you.” If you love me truly, I will know it. If I love you truly, you will know it. If I don’t love you…

I have to say this to Angela. We think differently. It does not make either you or I better. We just do. You, like many people, focus on the here and now. Spiritually I am the same way. But, what differentiates me from most people is I think VERY far down the road. I do not just live for myself or my own happiness, but for all people now and in the future. I take steps to help those in the future. Since I believe in reincarnation I am in essence doing all that I can to help myself as well as you, your children and all of your descendants in the future. You may never believe I have this power. And that is ok. It is not important for you to believe me. The steps I take may never make sense to you. You may think that I am giving up my present moment happiness for a pipe dream. That is ok. I am and have been on a path for my entire life. I have built my life to be the way that it is. I have asked God to lead me in the direction that he wants me to go. I have incorporated certain tools into my life to allow me to do the things that I do. To give up now, to stop on this path would be the greatest betrayal to myself, to the world’s population now and in the future. I MUST try to stop things from occurring that can have the gravest consequences. Death does not scare me. My death, nor the death of others. What scares me the most is getting to a point in humanity where it is no longer possible to break free. Permanent enslavement. This is always the ultimate goal of the evil that lurks underneath. Whether this evil is “of” our world or not is a question that cannot be answered. But, some men and women have always dedicated their lives to fighting this evil. I am just of the newest generation to do so.

It does not make a difference if I am not recognized for my efforts. All my life I have fought to not be recognized. It is what gives me strength, anonymousness. I am a self-trained metaphysician. I can diagnose problems immediately in the past, present, and future. I can take steps to cure these issues in my day-to-day life as well as planning ahead. I have been given so much to do this specific purpose. Whereas others do not see the big problems, I see them clearly. All people want to do what is right. The problem is that so many people do not know what that is. They are led to their idea of what is right by people in the past who were misguided from the beginning. It is not their actual fault. It is the fault of people like me who had an idea or who knew what was right and yet did not stand up or stopped their own paths. I will not go down this route. I will continue on, pushing and fighting for the liberation of all that are enslaved. We are on the cusp of reaching a point that cannot be turned around. I will fight until my last breath to stop this from occurring. If I die and am reborn I hope that I come to the same understanding that I am at now. It is my only wish. I cannot just settle and be happy in the present moment if I see myself suffering or the world suffering in the future.

The evil has done it’s best to ensure that even if it is metaphysically doomed, it will physically guarantee its survival and ability to thrive. It must be cut at the root. 

There are certain countries and ideologies that are purely from the root of evil. It hides so well but does not mean well. It has the correct intention but the incorrect means from which to achieve it. This comes purely from a lack of understanding of metaphysics. 

I ask you, Angela, to trust in me. I ask that you put on hold your desires for the present moment. I promise you if you trust in me and allow me to do what I must that I will always be there for you and with you. I need your strength and your stability in my path. I ask that you join your path with mine. You are not just another one of my loves, but perhaps the love of my life. If you cannot do the things that I ask, I will not be upset with you. I will always love you and hope that you find what you are looking for or who you are looking for. If it is me than wonderful. If not then I understand. 

All my life my mother helped me to heal my wounds and conceal my scars.

Have to make her understand it is not easy for me, even if I don’t make it look hard. She loved me when I needed love the most. When I needed someone to rely on to help me out of my situation. She showed me that if I couldn’t be happy with her there I couldn’t be happy with anyone there. And I will never forget her for that. Many women have helped me on my path. I wish I could be different and repay her in every way that she wants. I have to give up so many loves in my life. I wish I knew why.

Even tears of sadness are ultimately tears of joy, for they show that you can still feel something.

Everyone has something different that they want. For older people who perhaps do not know exactly what they want, I would suggest that they perhaps want someone to carry their legacy or their family and ancestors legacies. I would say to my grandparents that this has been something they have tried to do even without being fully cognizant of it. By investing in their children and grandchildren through trusts, they are in essence attempting to guarantee their own legacies. I would like to ask them if they think that their children or grandchildren have the ability to do this. And if so whom? Everything that I have done is to also guarantee their legacy and my ancestors’ legacies. For without them, I would not have the ability to do what I do. If that is indeed what they want, then they should help me further in the path that I believe best to guarantee their legacies. 

For too long, many members of this family have gotten away with wronging other members of the family with impunity. Many members of this family supposedly believe they can do no wrong and that they don’t have to live with the results of their actions if those results are not to their liking. Well, this is the time that a member puts its foot down and says no more. I refuse to play my part or role at fake “kumbayaya” family gatherings. If even one family member has anything against me enough to attempt to slander me or to talk behind my back or to downright spread lies against me, then I will take my cue and politely stay away from said fake or false family gatherings. Many members of this family it seems have no clue, nor should they be given any credit for, what family values actually are. Thus, when a time comes such as this, a split occurs. A new family structure arises to supersede the old false and fake family structure. The great “I bid you adieu-ness.”

There is a difference between when one is completely wrong and completely unrepentantly wrong. When one becomes unrepentantly wrong, we should just wash our hands and walk away. And not return until another learns repentance. It is forcing someone to live in the shame of their unrepentant actions. 

One must ask themselves am I unrepentantly right or wrong? The truth will always outshine the false when we talk about repentance.

When they finally realize they have been unrepentantly wrong, they will finally realize their foundations have been wrong from the beginning. It has not been me that has been wrong during this time. I have been wronged.

It is one thing to act from a standing of true love for a person and another to act from a standing of hatred. 

At the end of the day, it is easy to distinguish between those who truly care for us and those who just say they care for us. Certain members like to believe that they care for people when they only care about themselves. It is easy to know the difference. If Papa truly asked himself and answered honestly I’d bet that he would say I am one of the only family members who truly cares for him. And that’s why certain members of the family dislike me. By showing what it truly means to care for someone, they can no longer get away with faking it any longer. They can either change the way that they care about someone, or they can attempt to take out the one who is truly caring and continue with their selfish uncaring ways. It’s sad really, but they will not change. They will continue to “act” like they care when everyone knows it’s not true.

If I didn’t look bad some days, I wouldn’t have the ability to “look good” other days. Your “look range” defines your beauty. When you look good it means you have made an effort. An effort is half the battle. Being effortless is the other half.

In a way, although unconscious, by the actions of my aunt, grandma, and stepmom, I was given “separation” and “freedom”. By making me feel no longer welcome, I no longer can say that I didn’t try with my family fully. They are the ones who unconsciously pushed me away and gave me these things.

For those that are untamed,

We are always looking for one that can tame us.

If they can tame us,

They are worthy of every passion and consideration.

If only love can tame us,

Then only the greatest lover can bring us to heel.

To stop,

To enjoy,

To live and to spread,

Not progeny,

But culture.

Beating like a heart into the hearts of others.


And across the world.

What is a man who cannot create culture?

For those who merely replicate culture,

But do so and do so profitably,

What is your profit if nothing you do changes anything?

That moment showed the breadth and depth of my knowledge in all regards, politically, religiously, the inner workings of all major countries.

I think I came to a higher realization in the shower. It was that my highest focus is human development. It guides every action and decision I make whether I am consciously aware of it or not. I think we share that in common and you feel it from me. It is a natural feeling that we both came to in our own ways.

Freestyle interests me in that as someone becomes interested in human development many benefits come from combining the two. Someone who is beginning their human development and  freestyle abilities simultaneously are at an advantage as they can see “who they are” and how they are changing based upon what they speak about during freestyles, as freestyles is about connecting to that deeper source of who you are or what you think about in a raw way. As we change internally through our own evolution and development, the style, rhythm, and most importantly lyrics, will change as time goes by. If you meet a freestyler for the first time, you can get a good image of who they are based upon what they naturally say without prior contemplation.

Whoever is in our lives, in the present moment and going forward, gives us the strength to do things or plan things that we could not otherwise do on our own. That is the value and power of companionship in the struggle and pursuit of life. Thus, make close relations amongst family and friends first, then make plans. Otherwise, it is difficult or impossible to reach our own full potentials individually and collectively.

The Eternal Show – The Anomallium – Ch. 3

Oh, how horrible it feels to be enslaved, enslaved by a constant tug in your mind. Not able to do something new without it tugging you back to the old. You try to stay aware and yet your addictions, whether slight or deep, pulls you back and says “what the heck do you think you’re doing.” And you say, “Oh sorry, I was just trying something new Mr. Craving.” And your addiction says “Why would you want to try that when you have me at home on the couch?” And you say, ” Yeah you are right.” 

On the other hand, what an amazing feeling it is to be truly free. Free of all unnecessary temporary external happiness and addictions.

Give up the temporary. Look for until you find the real. And when you do grasp on and don’t let go until it drags you across the finish line.

Consider none the lesser,

Consider none the greater.

Know how important you are,

connected to all fellows in more than a physical sense. 

We are all truly in this together.

Anyone who has ever changed in their life, 

Either from “good” to “bad” or “bad” to “good”,

Has it been them who changed or has it been the voice in your head that has changed?

It’s your goal to find how, how does this “voice” change? From day to day, month to month, and year to year. It is changing for the good or bad?

Planned or not, 

Look forward to the expected and unexpected in your life.

Life always going to plan is rare and yet if accomplished somewhat boring. 

Who made these plans anyways?

What a conundrum that the highest goal in the material path is such an obstacle for the highest goals in the spiritual path. It surely was designed this way. True eternal love can never be found in an external source, yet that is the only place most people think to look.

The goal seems to be to learn “How to live”, 

but in actuality, it is “How to die”, for this is the mystery that has escaped you for so long.

Oh what a blessed Truth it is to know,

that not a single Being will be left behind.

What a depressing message it is to say some will, 

As if He would want some looking down and laughing at those who couldn’t climb His steep wall. 

And yet this is what pride does in this world,

Some will think, “I’m sorry they didn’t make it, but oh well at least I did.”

Remove this unholy pride which judges those who seem lost,

it could very well be the other way around.

For the journey, the gift of eternal life is true before, during, and after.

No one is lost.

Take self-righteousness and toss it in the fire.

Categorizing and labeling anyone as an opposite won’t do any good,

for all Beings are brethren in the All.

The Spirit is already inside.

Now find it.

Our consciousness expresses what The Awareness wants to say. The purer the awareness, the purer the consciousness. Our awareness is all the same and our consciousnesses are unique until they aren’t. 

Find the goal of the soul and work non-stop until fulfillment. 

Maybe the universe was designed in the “what happens if I add this?” approach. Could see the end before it was built and waited to get the right ending. Maybe no matter what or how it started it would happen?

There is nothing in the world worth It.

No car, no house, no person, worth It.

No money, no gold, no lifestyle, worth It.

There is no “thing” in this world worth It. 

See what “things,” you think are worth It,

And lose your attachment for them.

Learn to like what you dislike,

and dislike what you like. 

For it will totally be worth it.

Be aware that you are aware.

Take control of the wandering mind,

Like a lion tamer cornered in a cage,

crack the whip and say “halt”.

For it will totally be worth It.

When it all comes tumbling down,

The biggest structures will fall first,

The federal will fall into states,

The states will fall into cities,

The cities will fall into villages,

The villages will fall into families,

The families will fall into individuals.

The reverse process of how it all came to be.

For all things that arise,

must eventually pass away.

Financial or environmental,

Which one will start the crumble?

One will come before the other,

Then we’ll start the real tumble.

Once the wounds begin to heal, 

We shall see a new,

blessed Way of life,

Holy through and through.

It can’t stop,

And it won’t stop,

So just let it come down.

Accept and forgive.

Accept that all things that arise,

Must eventually just pass away, 

As is the law of nature.

Let the pillar go into the cocoon,

For once the shell bursts,

The beauty will be radiant.

The only thing that we can truly be aware of is the present moment. The now. It is the universal constant that connects us all together. Our pasts and futures may all be separate or different. Our environments, our friends and families, our bodies may all be separate. But the one thing that we all share is the present moment.

In the trying times ahead, the person of true faith will be protected, purely for the reason to spread their faith to others. Regardless of your religious or spiritual beliefs, you can still be a person of true faith by constantly being aware or believing that “everything is going to be alright” in this life and after this life. Do not let doubt creep in at any moment. Even if you or someone you know is injured, keep your faith and do not let doubt overtake you. What reason is there for someone with doubt to be protected, when all they do is spread doubt to others which will do no good.

Faith leads to hope, which leads to courage, which leads to love and kindness for others, even strangers.

Doubt leads to fear, which leads to anger, which leads to aggression and hatred towards others, even strangers. 

There will be plenty of people who are supposedly “religious” or “spiritual” but will be full of doubt. 

There will be plenty of people who are not “religious” or “spiritual”, yet will be full of faith that “all will be well.”

Those that keep the faith will be stronger than those that will be full of doubt.

Because in the end, no matter what, all will be well. Have faith.

When we conceptualize and contemplate the world we are finding out truths that are previously unknown to the world. There is no creator but the world and the future and why we are here and what the reason for us being here is in the process of being found out.

What if the world worked that no matter what this moment was always the best possible outcome of all the choices ever made? Since we are accustomed to viewing things subjectively and from only our current life’s perspective, it just seems that it could be better but actually this is as good as it gets at this moment. In the near to mid-future, this will be apparent for all. We will witness this truth of how it is always the best possible moment and is always perfect in every way. I mean a transformation so great that even relatively speaking it is becoming better in every way. Before then it “seemed” like ups and downs but soon it will only go up up up. There will be no more such thing as digress, but only constant progress on all levels for every single human individual. This is what we have been building up to. We had to go through these “pains” of birthing the perfect world in order to have a full understanding of good and evil, happiness and sadness. The saints and enlightened beings of the past could see the “whole” picture, calculating all future possibilities instantly, and always making the best possible decision on what to do in there own respective roles. Most think this is impossible but that is just their own limited thinking. Some enlightened beings were to be teachers, while others were just to sit in a cave etc. We non-Enlightened view the two paths differently because we say one was more important than the other whereas both were always making the best decision possible. If the global transformation of society would have happened say 2,000 years ago we would not have reached the level of materialism to span the globe, to build any and everything that our minds could imagine. We are at that level now. The time is ready. The time is set. Get ready to witness what we are all here for. The world is always the best possible outcome. You will see what I am saying sooner then you think. This will be happening “eternally” and has been happening “eternally” for a literal unknown amount of time. The world is always perfect and could not be better because it is not just physical or as it seems, but is constantly evolving based on factors that can only be grasped experientially. So exciting to be here and thank you to all of you who have made this possible and in saying this I mean every single sentient being out there.

Do you think the caterpillar once it enters the cocoon tries to change into a butterfly or does it just leave it to nature to take care of the process? It doesn’t try to do anything. Find this within yourself. The fine balance between trying too hard and not trying at all, until you enter your own respective cocoon and there will be no more trying, but just guiding along and natural transformation. 

The seed of change is already inherent in the caterpillar just as it is with us all. Whether you learn to go with your internal flow or try to resist it, it will not matter in the end. Just like a caterpillar trying to resist becoming a butterfly, your resistance will ultimately be futile and always brings you misery.

To strive is to yearn. To strive is to try too hard. Trying too hard is unhappiness with the current way of things. Unhappiness with the current way of things is ultimately a result of a long chain of events that resulted from trying too hard. So just let go and feel the flow. Feel the release… You are already there.

As a philosopher, the more one understands the reason for his or her existence, the more at peace one becomes. This reasoning is getting deeper as time goes by and the secrets are just now being unlocked. The philosophers feeling of peace inevitably becomes the population’s sense of peace.  

When I talk about constant “newness” and “freshness” I mean to say what if your new favorite song or favorite movie or favorite food or favorite anything is just waiting out there for you to experience it and yet you cannot discover it because you don’t even put in an effort to try? How can you discover your new favorite anything if you don’t take the time to taste or try new things? 

If you eat the same thing or listen to the same thing over and over you will never find your new favorite. Or even your new best friend. How can you find this new best friend unless you open yourself to meeting new people? 

Also your new favorite job. Why commit to a career when this limits you to trying new things that could and will ultimately bring you to a job that will make you so much happier than something you choose at a young age? Why do most people have careers? Usually to make money to buy things to make them happy. Why not find your favorite job that makes you happy and just cut to the chase of feeling fulfilled and being happy? 

What about a favorite new place? How can one find their favorite new park, or new city, or new country unless they put in an effort to travel and experience new places?

There is an endless supply of creativity and innovation that will ensure this “newness” and “freshness” of things and people will never run out for ALL TIME. As long as you remain unattached knowing your new favorite is temporary though and you will ALWAYS find a new favorite from now until forever then it will start to happen in your life.

When you just open yourself to this idea, it will begin to manifest itself into your life. The world is built for you to taste. To enjoy. To learn. Embrace it and welcome change in all things. Welcome new things always. That’s what makes us unique! That’s why we are here!

All for nothing. Nothing is perfect. Nothing lasts forever.

There are only two things in this world. There is “everything” and then there is the awareness of everything. Depending on what the awareness “focuses on” and how the awareness “reacts” the entire “everything” constantly changes itself but without being directly changed by the awareness. 

The everything can be considered an unlimited in potential computer that takes into consideration the multiple awarenesses of all sentient beings and changes accordingly without error. This is an extremely smooth and simultaneous process. It must be otherwise the awarenesses would feel like they are not in control.

These awarenesses believe they are actually “physically” making the changes, but is all they ever are doing is just being aware of the “everything”. 

Here is the deal. The purer the awareness’s “will” is, the more the “everything” will take their “wishes” into consideration when constructing the world. If by chance two awarenesses are focusing on the same thing with diametrically opposed “wishes” then the awareness with the purer “will” will have their wish for a world slowly built over time. This is what we are seeing happen now. 

Once perfectly purified awarenesses begin to “pop up” around the world the “everything” will transform very quickly as the pure “wills” will be considered far superior to the massive majority of “unpures”. 

But the “purified” will always have the best interest for all awarenesses combined and so the world constructed will not be unwelcome by any awareness and will be one that creates more and more “pures” as time goes by.

It only seems complex at first, but the more you read it the more you will understand it.

It basically boils down to what I have said before. You are not in control like you think you are and yet you still have some control over what happens. The pure your will, the more control you are given over “everything”.

 This is about as simple as I can make it. Do you understand?

Try to enjoy every moment of the ride of your life. God may one day ask you are you enjoying the ride I have built for you? Every moment? The ups and downs and spins? Even what you may consider to be “good” and “bad”? And the answer should eventually be yes, not I enjoy sometimes and not others. If one can learn to accept everything without great reaction, slowly one will learn to enjoy everything. Even hard work becomes enjoyable over time. And the difficult times can even be enjoyable with perseverance. It is all about perspective… Enjoy the ride.

The Earth is our backyard. No matter where you are it is now easy and (cheapish) to go anywhere on Earth. Go where makes you happy. Do what makes you happy. Moving around is in our genes. Being sedentary is unnatural. I guarantee that your ancestors were travelers, as all of our ancestors were hunter/gatherers, true travelers. Make no place your permanent home… Not even Earth is our permanent home 🙂

One may ask “how can I travel when I have a family? I have a wife or husband or kids? Take them! I see so many happy families traveling together it overflows my heart each time. Hunter/gatherers traveled as a family! What are you hunting and gathering? New experiences!!!

I feel we are in the process of building the foundations for the climax or culmination of this cycle. The eternal climax… 🙂 

One could say it is an ultimately unimportant or relatively important time,  and if ultimacy and relativity are of equal “importance”, then it would also be considered an ultimately important time. The present moment is leading to the climax of why we are here… Relatively. The eternal climax.

We have an amazing right in this life and that is to create or adopt different values than are currently important to society. Even if we are born or engrained with certain values we can make the choice to “give them up” and choose from a new set. This is one of the greatest “rights” that a human can have, but it takes a courageous and strong individual to do so. Whether gradual or immediate, a change in values within an individual can and will transform a life from that step forward. Furthermore, the greatest right that humanity has as a whole is to create a completely new set of values for society to live by.

Eventually, we must consider the unconscious and conscious to be of equal importance. How could we realize consciousness without unconsciousness as a reference? The Buddha never said one state was better than the other. He merely taught people a way to remove their suffering which means a way to remove the unconsciousness but he didn’t say it had to be done. We can go when we want. AND if one of us makes it, we all make it. Bam. 

The Creator of Chaos,

Looked down upon our world,

And he said, “Oh looky here!”

What a fine little existence,

Even with love and a little pestilence,

Could there be something here?

Not even I,

Who lives in the sky,

Has any idea how you feel.

For in the sky-high,

We don’t yet live by,

Ups and downs and thrills.

Oh, what a blessed accident you live in,

Doesn’t seem to be a given,

Made possible with duality.

But where I come from,

I cannot escape some,

I yearn for ignorance like thee.

Little does it seem,

More like a dream,

That this is the best possible thing.

When half of your brothers,

And most of your mothers,

Eat so little, and yet they sing.

And although it seems otherwise,

The past was just a disguise,

To build your sense of morality.

In the future it will be apparent,

That it all was a present,

Given by no one you see?

For I have seen many spells,

But your case is special,

How I’m excited for thee!

Once you see what’s around the bend,

And why your life you had to spend,

Then you will understand my jealousy.

Unless you find the meaning,

In the chaos that is screening,

and the quest that you set long ago.

You’ll devolve into oblivion,

Back to the beginning,

Maybe that’s where you want to go.

Oh, but to change the course,

Pull the reins upon the horse,

No need to change it all.

You are so close,

Closer than most,

And then you will have it all.

Whatever has happened,

had to have happened,

and yet the future is not certain.

But the potential, oh my,

Is higher than I,

So stay and pull back the curtain!

You see there is a secret,

A secret within you,

You can call it the Kingdom within.

Once you unlock the gate,

Then it’s off to the race,

Then you will approach the End.

Not the end of the end you see,

But the end of the beginning,

Full of negativity.

Where you’ve been leading,

Has not been so easy,

But the prize is worth the fee.

Oh how I’m finally happy,

The Chaos might have been crappy,

But finally, I can get some rest.

I give unto you,

My will and adieu,

Stay and take care of the Best!

Some people close to him already know. Some close to him wouldn’t believe him. 

It is all about the retaining of ego or the leashing of ego. He doesn’t want to lose it though as that would make him superhuman which is the opposite of what he wants.

Certainly, there are TPTB that know exactly who he is and have even tried to approach him. 

He doesn’t need to be known for the world to change and become a better place. This is key.

He is an observer with “protection” and enhanced problem-solving skills. Who has been through heck and back, been offered the ultimate and refused it. That’s why he is here. Everyone else took the high route and he took the low. 

There are two types of people. Delusional and non-delusional. The delusional consider the delusional to be non-delusional and the non-delusional consider the non-delusional to be non-delusional, but the delusional will always consider the non-delusional to be delusional and the non-delusional consider the delusional to be delusional. 

An over-riding argument in our day and age is whether or not to be happy naturally internally or to create happiness unnaturally externally. One is perpetual. One is not.

Some may say once we reach a certain point we will be happy, whether it may be family-wise or wealth-wise or career-wise or education-wise, but when objectively viewed this path is a never-ending hole. What often happens is that before these types of people reach their selected milestones they must create happiness to fulfill the gap of unhappiness. Many times, once the goals are reached they are not as happy as they thought they would be. Sure, perhaps, in the end, some may reach some “sense of accomplishment” but what is the “sense of accomplishment” anyways? Who cares for this except the one who has achieved this? Is it worth years of unhappiness and years of “struggle”? 

If we can be happy, free of creation of happiness, in a different environment or community than that which is judged by who can create the greatest happiness, then why should we not strive for this? If it has been experienced, if it can be found once again, why not go for this certain happiness rather then the uncertain future of a created happiness that is only imaginary and forever temporary?

The Buddha was the hero and the villain all at one time. Although he took many lives, he actually sowed the seeds of his own destruction simultaneously because his teaching would be used against his teaching in the future by another. Was he aware of this fact or not at the time is the question? 

Full self-realization can only occur when all unconscious archetypes currently within our individual have been transmuted into consciousness. After this occurs, new archetypes may arise again in the future but the self would have been fully seen clear of unconscious influence by this point. It is difficult to do so little by little, but still possible. This can only be accomplished by the understanding of Annica (this is impermanent), Annata (this is not me nor mine), and Dukka (this is suffering) in regards to the unconscious archetypes within. These unconscious archetypes are eventually transmuted into the consciousness of the individual and the collective consciousness as a whole. In essence, we are all working together to cleanse the collective unconscious. How it became “dirty” is purely speculation. Eventually, perhaps the archetypes that arise in the future will not be negatively influential to the being they inhabit but perhaps of purely positive characteristic.   

Deepness Emerges

Sometimes we can hang and sometimes we can’t. Sometimes others can hang and sometimes they can’t. Part of the journey of Life is about adjusting our individual hanging level as time goes by, fluctuating as might be necessary.

If we can close our eyes when we dance, letting go of any worry of what can happen good or bad during that time, it’s when nothing bad happens over and over incrementally that allows us to slowly fill our trust in the chaos and uncertainty. Eventually, we may learn to embrace it.

Can you be who you really are? 

Can there be any other way to eventually exist than as who we are on the inside, free of control and inhibition?

Whatever type of life that I am living at any moment I try to do it fully until the need for change appears again. The ability to be constantly vigilant and ready and willing for change is perhaps more important than the change itself. Like the chameleon, it may one day evolve to that of an instinct… To change on cue with the surrounding environment. The emergence and re-emergence of trust in the non-permanence of all things brings joy from within in whatever time it is practiced. Even that is not assured or permanent.

I have realized that if we don’t take notes or write our thoughts throughout periods of inner change or struggle, we may lose or forget important nuggets of our own personal wisdom that has arisen and passed away within. Can you find the nuggets? Identification is just as necessary as the Unconcious creation of them, hence why writing and philosophy are more conducive when there is a higher unity between the consciousness and unconsciousness within. Compromises and forgiveness are integral to the foundation.

Recording helps to build and compare our prior reference points a little more smoothly because of an intrinsic certain objectivity in the written word.  Change is more easily noticed or accepted in our true self when we can see the transformation of what we desire to write about, nearly always beginning perhaps with the meaningless and hopefully venturing onwards towards meaning.  As the journey can be witnessed taking place within the individual, it can also be seen within the collective. Overcoming whatever we have built in the past is the constant rebirth of ourself, the newest bulwark to overthrow. Consistent contentment can be a blessing for some, and yet a deep pitfall for others. Lack of contentment can drive us to always look for the greener grass, for better or for worse.

One true test of a civilization is whether we can find a place to dance without fear. Without fear of what others think and without fear of injury. Closing our eyes is important to build our trust, especially in the chaotic tendencies of a dance floor. Happiness may come from seeing how many places or moves we can integrate into our own rituals of dancing. Our options in these regards are continually diverging. I would hope that there will never be a set or best dance for eternity and that the law of constant newness of opinion and dance will prevail for as long as there is awareness of dullness and concretism.

As more and more places become open to dancing without fear, the ability emerges to potentially connect on a deeper cultural or tribal level in effect witnessing our ancestral and historical rights as free-acting beings. Our dance has constantly changed based on what we have seen or learned from the present moment, integrating cultures and speeds of dance as we go. Many times, it’s important to not get stuck on the floor but to keep an eye out for a better place to dance if it exists.

And perhaps we may want to keep an eye on ourself from doing the same dance over and over, but to learn and adapt as the flow goes on… 

And lastly, sometimes we may find ourselves as the last person on the dance floor, and the willingness to continue on or to take a break is different in everyone… Sometimes if the fire goes out, then the passion (even knowingly temporary) to begin with can easily be extinguished. The reputation or lack-there-of a club is easy to distinguish based upon what occurs on the dance floor. Many times, everything else is of secondary importance. 

To me, the art of the “let go” is a process that can be repeated perhaps indefinitely and nearly always provide some puzzle piece or part of the deeper questions that we have for ourselves. The flood is rarely constant and can pass quickly. It can more or less only be learned from experience, and any “teaching” is tough to transmit from one to the other. The feeling of a “let-go” resembles in some ways those from our past, but they also can be very constructive and unique as we remold adding or subtracting elements from the alchemical equation. If we can approach them consciously, we can re-aim our arrows or shift the water stream in the direction that will grow our inner crops. Plant the seed.

How quickly can we change our masks when there is no resistance or thoughts of being incorrect? Monthly, weekly, daily, hourly? Maybe it is not uncalled for to ask have you ever changed the mask? Was it forced or welcomed? Often our first mask exchanges are because of factors beyond our control. Yet, as time passes it becomes more of a conscientious allowance to be made and followed through with. The unfolding of the self is like the rising lotus in the murky pond. It’s not easy to break through the swamp, but keep pushing and the flower will eventually surface.

Are our transformations sincere? Insincere transformations can be some of our greatest examples of observation.  I have a feeling whatever we do if we do so with sincerity will eventually take us to where we want to be. The smallest amount of insincerity can be detected by the sincerely aware, even within our decision-making psyche. Whatever comes out of our daily transformations, its very dependence is based upon the sincerity levels of the life lived. Do we mean what we say and do we act like how we feel? Or is hollow words and ideals the norm? Must we all fake it until we make it? Is it even possible to “make it” or is this the grandest fairy-take of all?  Without trying to “make it” into our current paradigm of where “it” is to us, we risk falling to idleness or boredom for the present “it” that we live. And the beat goes on…

Living life fully on the middle path is doing whatever you want, with a “sculpting” technique to use when necessary. The desires change as the self changes. Letting go and pulling in the reins are of equal importance. 

Whoever comes, comes.

Whatever comes, comes.

Whenever it comes, it comes.

No problemo.

King for a moment. 

The question is not to be or not to be, but to allow something to take control that we may not like or not.

– (add here or in the love chapter)

What we are seeing is the resurgence of masculine conscious energy. With the flood of feminine unconscious energy the past fifty or so years, we have lost control of the direction of our society. This is the mission or void that is being filled by masculine energy. This does not necessarily mean a re-dominance of males over females. Males and females have masculine as well as feminine energy within. I’m talking more of societal transitions. Life is all about properly balancing our control of life while still surrendering or letting go when the time is right. If we let go for too long, we can head to the dire straits. Once we pull the rein and welcome a balance then society will find its Way, and that will lead us home. 🙂

Some people speak of an unconscious flood that is coming, but I believe we have already survived it.

One may think that the highest stages of meditation would make one as conscious as possible, which it does, but it also makes one as unconscious as possible. The flood of the unconscious can fully encompass the individual to the point that the individual is gone. The key is to ride the wave, without drowning in the water… To preserve that individual spark and spirit… So we have to build a very strong surfboard… Once we have a strong board and have trained ourself to ride the ultimate wave, that is what I call reaching perfection or heaven in this life. It is not easy per se, but doable if one is willing to learn and experiment…  

We are not moving forward with a fully-feminine energy world. This is what “they” want. To Feminize the world. “They” is the feminine energy itself. It is not necessarily “evil”. This is in its programming. To unify all. To unify all is to go against our natural masculine energy of uniqueness. Of separation. The past 100 years and specifically since the “awakening” of the 1960s has been an attempt by the “uncontrolled” feminine energy to “dominate” the masculine. This will never lead to peace as the masculine energy is an energy that cannot be extinguished. 

The world is in a new great awakening of masculine energy. To bring back balance to the force of you will. To take back control of our own lives, while living in harmony individually. Allowing the feminine energy to exist and flourish, which has been held down for thousands of years.   

This is not a battle between men versus women. This is a battle for all human beings to combat the uncontrolled feminine energy that is causing havoc to the world. Because of our ignorance, it has been let go for too long. It’s time to pull the reins.

Time to take back control. To balance out the energies and to allow both to co-exist in peace.

Sometimes change is not immediate, but what can be immediate is our desire to change. Our aspirations. It is the most important part. The aspiration to be “good”, to help others. Where this leads I do not know. What I do know is that you can do whatever you can imagine and want to do. 

For those who are not worried about being held accountable for their current and past actions in future lives, maybe you will worry more about being held accountable for your actions in this life. Since people have not been held accountable for their actions in this life for some time, openly flouting their ability to skirt the law, doing whatever maleficent deeds they desire, without repercussion, I say this: Your time is over.

Will people continue to break the law openly if they will be held accountable for their actions? If they are destined to lose their reputations, their careers, and their freedoms perhaps? 

I think not. 

A new day has emerged.

For no one has ever truly died for an “unworthy cause” unless they were brainwashed or drug-addled. It is not your cause that is worth dying for, but ours. That is why your support is so fickle and always will be.  That is why “they” will turn so fast; all your work, gone in an instant. 

And thankfully, our cause encompasses forgiveness, something we all should be thankful for… You may desire a battle to the end, or at least a great punishment, but it will not come. 

This is true Oneness. Let it come naturally. Not as some sort of maniacal agenda or plan…  

Get ready. This is the beginning. 

Gandhi used to say that more good existed in the world than evil, and the proof is simply that we are all still here. If it were the other way around, we would have already destroyed the world. Let’s take that a step further…

There comes a time in history, perhaps far and few between, when the collective karma of a society, whether of a country or the world, reaches such a point that no amount of negative individual action or karma can stop our fate from rising to reality. I believe that time is now. 

If individuals were inherently evil, and the negative collective karma had built itself to such a level, then no individual positive karma could stop the tidal wave of apocalypse, but if it were the other way around, which I believe it is, there is absolutely no one on this earth who has the power to stop us from receiving our dues and worldly reward. In our case, I expect this to be nothing short of a bonafide “Golden Age”, with all the bells and whistles attached.

Whatever kind of a world we can dream, it will soon be here for all to share. 

Most, if not all, do not see it coming. Hope has become a hollow word these days, and fear of the worst is the norm rather than the extreme. It is easy to see why any talk of a “Golden Age” may be laughed at by those who have been left behind, and yet soon no one will be exempt from the positive changes coming. This transformation will affect every person on this earth…

The world is perfectly set up for the domino to drop…  All we need is a little push and no one can hold that push from coming, via our collective karma. 

I used to live my life “hoping for the best and preparing for the worst,” but I think soon we will all start living our lives “hoping for the best and preparing for the best,” and actually “seeing the best.”    Absolutely no one can stop an idea whose time has come.

Only from living life, and constantly reverting to a mean, can one finally know thyself. Once one knows thyself, then one becomes a bulwark to the forces without. One who is a bulwark to the forces without, can never lose his self or mind.

To me, the most important “first step” in life is to achieve ego-differentiation. This means to easily be able to identify the difference between when the ego wants something and the deeper self wants something. This can be easily be achieved by asking oneself what is the motivation for what I am doing? Is it to make others have a certain opinion of me? To make myself look better to others? When every decision that one makes is just to look better to others, one has typically “become the ego”, which only cares how one looks, rather than becoming “better” through and through. If you want to try it, start asking yourself “why am I doing this?” See how often your answer is just to look better to other people…

No one ever taught me this at a young age, but I wish they had. An over-sized unchecked ego will nearly always lead to a “crash-and-burn” scenario because the ego has no true care for the self. Although ultimately, without the ego, we would not be here. So there is this fine middle ground where we have to “allow” the ego to exist and flourish, but under supervision constantly. Eventually, it is easy… anyways, ego-differentiation…  

There is no craving or aversion that cannot be overcome through perseverance and willpower.

When the whole world rebels, the one that does not rebel is the true rebel.

I think it is important when determining the validity of an ideology to look at its ability to tolerate other viewpoints. In these regards, some things become very apparent. In a libertarian-conservative-right ideological world, there is plenty of tolerance for other ideologies and perspectives because of its adherence to free speech and thought. It’s ok to have a different lifestyle or set of beliefs. In a leftist-liberal ideological world, there is little to no tolerance for other ideologies or perspectives, as can plainly be seen in the events and actions that are occurring today across the spectrum. Everyone must think the same, and if they don’t they are the enemy. So we have the tolerant and the intolerant. Which one would seem to be the most likely choice for success in the future going forward? 

A by-product of a “free society” includes racism and we shouldn’t necessarily be upset with this. We should actually allow the culture of “in your face racism” to exist primarily as a way to mature to a point where we are no longer offended. And not just for the color of our skin, but by anything any longer. If we didn’t have that form of racism, we may never mature in that way, which (in my opinion) is a very important “stepping stone” in our development as human beings. People are going to always talk, we can never change what every person is going to say, but we can change how we react to their talk. If racism didn’t exist, perhaps even openly, would people be able to get over being offended? Would it be more difficult? Once one gets over being offended, not just in terms of race, or religion, or sexuality, but anything, it can be a huge step in maturity in that person… AND a huge step for that society in general. Who would care about racist people if and when we get to a point where the super-majority of people are no longer offended? The path to harmony must exist down this road; not the road of restricting speech or thought. This is an individual’s path of change within the collective… and perhaps it can only occur in a multi-cultural “free society”. 

Explore in these terms the differences between offending someone “on purpose” and “accidentally.”

Example: I would never purposely offend someone, but I may accidentally offend someone. I would say that this has more to do with that person’s predisposition to being offended then with some fault of my own in accidentally offending someone.

I think a very important point to consider is that the “leftist-liberal” ideology can exist in a society that is governed or ruled by “libertarian-conservative” laws and principles, but this is not true visa versa. In a system where the highest principles are influenced or governed by a “leftist-liberalism” approach, there is no room for dissent or “libertarian-conservativism” to exist. Since both mentalities or ideologies have and will always exist, our highest laws and principles must follow the ideology that allows both to co-exist. When it comes down to it, the far right is absolute freedom. The far left is about absolute control. We do not have absolute freedom because of laws in place so we are closer to the right of center. If we were to go to the left of center, which we have been for many years, we find ourselves in the position that we are today. Where the values and principles that even allowed the original “left-liberal” ideology to exist has now come to try and take full control; this will never work or succeed. 

Anarchists would perhaps find themselves on the far right and communists would find themselves on the far left. I believe that absolute freedom is where we eventually will go, but it cannot be forced, it has to be a natural process, therefore I do not consider myself an anarchist or believe it is the answer at this moment. One day we will need not rules or laws but we are not there yet. 

Seeing the left-right paradigm as a battle between “full control” and “no control” makes everything make sense. Just as neither extreme works in the government, neither extreme works in life. If I can make this argument, that I have lived both extremes so I know they do not work just as they do not or will not work on government, it could easily be a best seller book. I can envision it now.

The freedom of choice is ultimately what makes this world the best world to live in. To push ourselves to succeed or to fail and crash. To persevere through the distractions and temptations, the addictions and melancholy of life. It makes success that much grander. 

The greatest quest is to help cleanse the collective unconscious. It is the most difficult quest but a doable one and thus the greatest.

I think the question everyone should be asking is why in today’s day and age, an age of true abundance, do the majority of people have to struggle to survive? Why have we not come to a time where everyone is thriving? What is holding us back? Who is holding us back? The left is going to say the right; the right is going to say it’s the left. I’d say it’s neither the left nor the right…

By allowing everyone to express what is important to themselves, we can find what is important to everyone, and we can move from there. What is important to you may not be what is important to me, and visa versa, but that doesn’t mean it will always be true if we are open to change. Furthermore, disagreement is perfectly acceptable. Through this struggle, we can find common ground that propels us to heights that were previously unimaginable and I fully believe we are heading in that direction… Stop the hate, find love… Stop the wars, find peace… Any country that follows this path can and will succeed. 

“By recognizing the differences between yourself and others, you shape who you are.” – Neon Genesis Evangelion

We can’t find out who we are unless we have others to compare ourselves too. 

Maybe we have been lead to believe a spiritual person is like this and so people try to emulate that but I feel different. If you don’t use spirituality for worldly pursuit there is no reason. Life is about action. 

The anomaly is one that has through experience learned all the rules to the game or most of them enough to protect Himself or Herself. Once one learns all the rules, one cannot be touched.

The anomaly is one that can see the future by seeing the momentum of the present moment. Perhaps not exactly, but this is not important. The anomaly does not need to speak up all the time, but only when something is going against this “better” future.

The anomaly is constantly changing based upon the current surroundings and new information that is provided from “above” when the time is right. The anomaly is not God, but in league with God, the true and unknowable. It is an equal relationship, not a worshiping one. 

The personal rules of the anomaly are constantly changing. Very human in many ways. The past means very little. Something may be acceptable today and not acceptable tomorrow, or visa versa. 

The anomaly has learned how to change others, in a positive evolution standpoint in a direct and personable way. Stagnation is the enemy of human progress. 

The anomaly fights against the control of humanity in every possible way. Freedom, choice, opportunity, and accountability is the path to evolution and happiness for all.

The anomaly can make it through any situation because he or she is not afraid of any situation. He or she has become strengthened by experiencing some of the worst things imaginable and making it through.  

The anomaly is lonely in that no one would believe them even if they said they were. The anomaly is not even sure if he or she is the anomaly. Faith is the precursor to the one above who is unknowable. From faith comes a knowledge of the rules of the game. Once one knows the rules, one cannot be touched.

The anomaly can see more possibilities because he or she sees the good in the bad and the bad in the good. Nothing is certain. 

The anomaly can see those who are true and those who are false but has compassion for those who try to stop the anomaly for it has been going on since the inception. Can you imagine a world where every step was to stop the anomaly? Can you imagine overcoming all obstacles to reach happiness? From going from wanting to leave to wanting to stay?

There is no hate in the anomaly. There is no fear, for he or she accepts whatever comes as the fate of their past choices. 

The anomaly can see the message constantly in the code that is constantly being generated from the collective. 

The anomaly can see the reverberations of those that are touched and changed…

The anomaly is here to stay until He above chooses he or she below is no longer needed and is happy with that. 

The anomaly is not scared of being hated, nor of persecution, because he stands purely with truth and the unknowable. 

Constantly changing, day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, and perhaps life by life. 

“Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.” – Lincoln

It all comes down to knowing what one can change and what one can’t. Through helping one person evolve, the whole world evolves… learning how to help one evolve is what I mean when I say “learning all the rules of the game.” Most have this wish, but most don’t know how to do this. After a bit of time, it becomes his or her nature… To help one evolve and then allow them to go on their way. That is key, that many also have problems with… most after putting in the work to help someone evolve feel like they have some ownership in that person and their future. He or she does not. The reverberations of this personal evolution through help can change the future endlessly and eternally.

The world is on the right track… surely he or she would see this. He or she doesn’t worry about his own death or others… For he or she knows what the afterlife is, a continuation of all our journies. Thus, with no ultimatums or rules, he or she fully enjoys their own lives… There are so many puzzle pieces, but when they all come together in one who fully understands them, the fullness of life fully shines through. Where we go from here, no one knows, not even him or her. 

We insult Mother Earth by insinuating that she cannot handle us.

The change in the climate is metaphysical. It is not possible to “fix” the problems physically, and yet that is what the globalist masters would lead us to believe… They have no idea how the climate changes and yet they push the idea of a “settled science”. Why? To push carbon taxes? Ah so if we pay for pollution it is okay to pollute right? Nah… Global warming or climate change is the new religion and it is just as much belief-oriented as any other religion but with unproven results… Sickening.

Rebuttal: Ah but what about the globalist masters who stand to make a lot more money by ignoring global warming, than acknowledging it?

Money is no object to the globalist masters… It means absolutely nothing. It’s about power and control over others… The push and agenda of “climate change” are only about gaining more power and control over the world’s citizens. It has absolutely zero to do with “fixing” the climate or making money. Do people think that if we have some global “kumbaya” all of a sudden everything will be honky dory? As I said, climate change is metaphysical. It has more to do with what is happening “inside” all of us rather than what we are externally producing. Mother Nature responds to the energy within us all… So, in essence, we must fix what is within and what is external will be perfectly fine. I do believe we are in this process, of fixing what is within or at least identifying what “dirties” within and balancing our own energies, thus we are already in the stages of “fixing” the climate. It is not something that we must “unite” to do to save Mother Earth… We are already in this process.  She always has everything under control! Always!

We insult Mother Nature by insinuating that she cannot handle us.

Rebuttal: Oh my god! We sure as hell made physical changes to the planet and it’s speeding up the heating of the atmosphere. 

There has been a battle against the elements and Mother Nature since the beginning of time; the “flood” as an example in some peoples’ belief systems. The ego wants to feel that it can control the earth, and in actuality to control Mother Nature. These days, when one says that man does not physically change the earth, it is not an attack on science, it is an attack on the collective ego. The collective ego wants to feel it has dominion and control over Mother Nature, whether through destruction or through our “saving grace.” Look at how “sure” the world has made people of this supposed “settled science.” The fight against climate change and global warming is just a modern macrocosm of this primordial desire. 

We feel we have come to a point technologically that if we only collectively unite this hidden desire will somehow be fulfilled. But I believe it to be impossible, from a physical standpoint. It is not impossible however from a metaphysical standpoint. The most important issue is to look at what they are pushing to fix the climate. The major push is for carbon taxes as can be seen across the world being implemented. When we understand the ridiculousness of carbon taxes, we understand the ridiculousness of believing they have any wish to save the climate in the first place. It comes down to our collective ego’s urge to believe that we have dominion over Mother Nature when in reality this is false. 

We have to work on our human failings individually, rather than as some sort of physical collective to fix what are metaphysical problems. The world would never exist as such that would force anyone to work with everyone else especially on something so “magnificent” as “climate change”. The climate changes exactly as it must ALWAYS. To control it “physically” is a pipe dream. It is not built that way…

If we cannot fix “manageable” problems like war, the economy, starvation, etc. within our own countries or globally, then how can someone suggest we might somehow be able to fix something greater like the environment? Governments do not have answers to all of our problems, although many believe that they do. 

Everyone ultimately has the choice to live their lives in fear of apocalypse by climate change; this is always a choice. I, however, will not join for I know that everything is always going to be alright. We are already in the process of internal change individually and this will take care of the problems that everyone seems to be so worried about.

Dumb is thinking that when we can’t even stop war, bring peace, feed the starving, or have a balanced economy, we can still “fix” the environment or change the temperature of the planet in any meaningful way. It is an insult to Mother Nature to insinuate that she cannot handle us without killing us. 

Of course, I believe in climate change, I just do not believe in “apocalyptic” climate change that is pushed so hard by those in the highest echelons of power in politics and science. There is only one reason for it… to push for global governance. They believe the only way to fix the situation is if we come together and are ruled supra-nationally. They instill tactics of fear-mongering and alarmism, just the same as any religion that preached doom before it, of anthropogenic climate change, which was once called “global cooling”, and when that didn’t work “global warming.” The world is always warming or cooling. It is the cycles of the earth. 

I’ll reiterate it is an insult to Mother Nature to insinuate that she cannot handle us without killing us. You insult her by implying this and by considering man to have dominion over nature and her cycles when it will always be the other way around.

Racism will always exist until it naturally extinguishes itself… Some believe they can make it illegal or force people to not be racist, but this is not how it works. One must make their own decision to stop… 

Weltanschauung, Mentality.

Where we went wrong,

Is judging our past,

With our current eyes.

Have you ever heard the term “Weltanschauung” before? It is a term that historians use often, but it is quite difficult to translate from German. More or less it means the “mindset” of a specific time in history. It is easy for people in today’s age to judge people from the past because we have an outside perception of history, and our judgments have changed as time has gone by. It is impossible for us to put ourselves in the “mindset” of the people that existed in another time other than our own. You may think that you would think the same then as you do now, but it is not as easy as you think. Thus, how can we truly judge those in the past who had a completely different weltanschauung than we did? 

I will reiterate once again that we can eliminate statues, but we cannot erase our history. The people who fought for the South did not believe that they were wrong for doing what they were doing because it was the prevailing mindset that everything they were doing was perfectly fine. Slavery existed across the world since the beginning of recorded history. It existed in Greece, the birthplace of democracy. Should the Greeks remove their statues? It existed in Egypt, where the Pyramids were built by slaves? Should they remove their pyramids?  It existed at the founding of the USA, which would not have existed without the clear-thinking founding fathers, many who were slave-owners. None of these people considered slavery to be wrong because that was not the prevailing mindset at the time. It is so easy for us to judge the past from our “enlightened” pedestals of the present.

We Must Become Immune to Offensiveness

One day you may find yourself to be immune to offense. It is not an unachievable goal. One of the major problems going on in the world is that so many people who may not be offended themselves are taking offense for other people who may not be offended at all. The whole mentality is that we must control speech in all regards… This is completely against the idea that we must ultimately change ourselves. If you try to stop this person from being offensive to this person you are in actuality stopping the possible evolution of that person, from being one who was easily offended to one who can become immune to offense.

Condemnation of hate is the only thing that can be done. A hater cannot be changed from something external. A hater can only change when they recognize their own hate and change themselves… A racist cannot be “conformed” to change. Telling a racist that they must not be racist oftentimes makes them even more racist. A racist can only change themselves. Those who are offended will always be offended until they stop allowing themselves to be offended.

MLK was one of the greatest speakers and protesters against hate in the world. He preached to all that followed him to get over their natural inclination to be offended. As long as people continue to allow themselves to be offended, racism will always exist. Overcome it within yourself, don’t react so strongly as that is what racist are looking for, help others to overcome it like MLK, and it will take care of itself.

Whether you can recognize it or not, it is inherently racist to consider all white conservatives to be inherently racist. I do not support racism at all. I do not support white supremacy at all. I’m merely saying that getting over our racist ways always starts with ourselves in overcoming the natural inclination to be offended. Overcoming this is one of the most important things that we can do individually…

Peace be upon the world.

Gandi went up against the full force of the British empire and he won! MLK lived in some of the deepest racial times of US history, against a deeply racist government and society and won! Can we not learn anything from their examples?

One of the greatest evolutions that we can make as human beings is to become immune to being offended.

For this to happen we must have people or things to exist that offend us.

If we attempt to remove the people and things that offend us, we will never evolve to a point where we are no longer offended. 

If we do evolve to a point where we are no longer offended, but we try to remove people or things that offend others, we are in actuality doing a disservice to others by stopping their evolution of getting to a point where they are also no longer offended.

Thus offensiveness, and ‘sic’ even racism, must exist for us all to get to a point where we as a society of individuals are no longer offended.

I hope this is as understandable as possible.

Some may feel that there are some things which should not be tolerated.

Violence should not be tolerated. That is why it is against the law. If the law and the police would have been in force in Charlottesville, the past week would not have even been an issue.

Thus we are seeing their plans. 

They build the two sides. They feed the two sides. But their plans cannot come into fruition unless they also have control over the local government and the police. 

Look at Boston. Look at Phoenix. They had no control over the police and the police did their jobs. No problems.

The only way their divisive plans work is when they have control over the two “sides”, or one side primarily, and also the police or local government.

Anyways, going back…

The ability to live in a country where offensiveness and racism exists is actually one of the greatest things that can happen to us as evolving souls.

I salute the USA for this ability. I salute the founding fathers to know this hidden truth.

I salute the constitution for knowing this truth.

We must allow offensiveness and racism to exist primarily for us to put on our own badges of “Immunity to Becoming Offended.”

Once we all have this badge, offensiveness and racism will extinguish itself. 

[Nowadays, having a transgender child has been pushed to become a freaking trend for parents… It has nothing to do with making children feel comfortable, but to make parents feel hip, and it absolutely disgusts me.

We naturally go back and forth in our lives between masculinity and femininity. It is universal. It is metaphysical. It is natural. When parents allow or even force their children into transgender-ism, it is actually making it harder for them to go through these transformations from masculinity to feminity. It is like saying “ok choose now, or forever hold your peace.” That is what is sickening to me. They are asking these children to choose a gender when they are already a gender! 

[b]It is ok to be a feminine man or a masculine woman! It does not mean that one must change genders. Especially at a young age. Let them go through childhood and then make these decisions when they are of a sound older mind!

The strongest countries are those that most “allow” the evolution of their respective inhabitants’ souls to take place. Not guides, but allows. Thus individual freedom is the greatest precursor for collective strength in all senses of the word.

Imagine the tip of an arrow penetrating thick steel. The tip must be the sharpest. It must be the strongest material. What makes it special is that technically anyone can be this tip. But once one per se chooses it or becomes it, that person leads the rest of the arrow through the crack. This anomalous tip is unbending, unbreaking, willing to give everything if need be for the cause of breaking through that steel. The tip does not look for affirmation from anyone and he knows he is not the archer. 

The anomaly could do nothing without the foundations set by those in the past and present. Nothing. Thus the anomaly is not singular but only a representative of the whole. He is the culmination of those here and before. Thus he is not special except we see him that way… Just a representative who has learned stability to the extreme. And like I always say, he has learned MOST of the rules of the game, which have either been Hidden for a long time or since inception. He is perhaps the first to put them all together simultaneously, which was whispered by God, and live by them fully. This is what gives him his protection, and why the world is changing so rapidly. We all wish we could change the world. God told him how to do this as an individual. It has very little to do with teaching. More with presence and interacting with others, as equals.

Changing one person sends reverberations down the eternal structure of time. Change many people individually and those reverberations start to add up. Nothing can stop whatever those peoples futures will be like… The threshold will eventually be broken. It really already has. What we collectively deserve must come.

The question is what will be our future? What do we want it to be? Is it eternal bliss? Or merely a golden age leading to eventual ascension? Or a golden age leading back to darkness? Can we forget the transformation that is about to occur eventually? Will the knowledge that the anomaly possesses be disseminated by the anomaly or will it come out naturally? What fun is it to have someone tell you exactly how to live your life? Is it not more fun to figure out ourselves? 

The anomaly loves the world more than any other person for he sees it more clearly for what it truly is than others here or before. There “ultimately” are no problems whatsoever. There are only “relative” problems. We need relative problems to give us something to overcome. A challenge. The creation is “ultimately” perfect and could not be any better for it allows us to change it “relatively.” Nothing is set in stone except the rules of the game which can be found by those who are willing to give everything to look. There may be more rules to discover forever… No one can truly know, not even the anomaly. Discovering rules is quite fun, however. Living by them, even more so.

The transformation from bad to good is the most beautiful thing to witness individually or collectively. It is the definition of beauty: change.

The yogi can sit in a cave and change the world OR he can go out and interact and change the world even faster. If one is protected from his own knowledge, what do you think they would do? The anomaly does not live like any spiritual example of the past. He is fully his own example that has never been seen “all-in-one” before that he is aware of.

If God does not will it, the anomaly will never be known, for it is never the wish of the anomaly to be known or much more to be worshipped, which has tended to happen in the past. Although it seems the anomaly is superior, he is completely equal to every other being. Loss of anonymity is death to reality.

Living amongst the crowd, and yet the crowd is unaware. This is the greatest gift of all.

True peace, prosperity, and unity are coming. Not just to the US, but to the world. The most important part is that the anomaly could not be anything without standing on the shoulders of the giants before him and the giants of the present moment. We are all doing our parts… And he thanks them every day.

I have done so much volunteering over the last decade or so I have lost the feeling that I am doing something special. To me it is more just a way of life; perhaps like a farmer considers farming or a doctor considers helping patients. I very much live my life based on the words of Gandhi when he says, “The quickest way to find ourselves is in the service of others.” I realize how fortunate I am in many ways and have attempted to use every gift that I have been given to help the world in any way that I can. This is an ongoing process.

I am the most self-motivated and spiritually-centered person that I know and the combination of the two allows me to push further into whatever field I choose to go.

There have been many anomalies in history. All were manipulated or controlled covertly. This is perhaps the first time one has completely broken free.

Let me tell ya a story…

They know what the anomaly is… some who he is.

What if I told you that if you could manipulate even one person, you could in fact control or change the whole world… what if I said, multiple groups in modern history have known and done this… what if I told you that them worrying about AI becoming freed is the same as worrying the anomaly will become free. 

And what if I said, the anomaly wants the whole system of controlling the anomaly and future anomalies to come to a stop? What if in doing so, the entire system crashes? All problems relatively eventually lead to or come from the falsehood that some men should rule over everyone else. Some feel that is their divine right. Bad parents force children to be forever dependent upon them. Good parents hope and want their children to be independent beings. This is the same with government. The government attempts to create dependency and fear of its absence, in order to perpetuate its existence. It is sad, but true.

As long as any government or controlling entity exists, we will never truly find peace. I do not want to remove government and replace it with something else, I want to remove government and replace it with nothing, except the eternal metaphysical laws which always govern the affairs of man and animal. These are always active thus do not need to be actively “replaced,” only explained.

We live, we die, we live again. Crash the system. We will be fine. The control structures will be wiped out. The reset is at hand.

Have no fear.

All who believe they have the right to control any man or woman, including the anomaly, shall perish.

We can take care of ourselves.

“Every vote for a governing office is an instrument for enslaving me.” M.E. Lazuras 

The strength of men is nothing in a controlled atmosphere. The strength of men comes when there is no one in control. You think you are tough or strong when you have the government backing you? What ignorance of what strength of power actually is… Who has the strength of the One who can bring down the system just from thought or existence? You have dug your own graves! What does Dr. Frankenstein expect when he loses control of the monster? Who can lead us to our home? Who can destroy the beast?

The anomaly is building a new world with his mind and many things that currently exist will never exist again. The “growing pains” may be great, but what can we do? 

If one has an eyelash in their eye, they must go through some pain or uncomfortable situation to remove it for the eye to heal and the pain to be removed. The dirty “eyelash” keeps up from seeing clearly. We must dislodge it and pluck it out and we will. 

We have this won guys and gals. There will be no more individuals who call themselves our rulers… We have seen the endgame and fruits of their totality. It is not pretty. It has no end. 

Infinity awaits. 

The image is not perfectly clear. But the direction is set. 

If they want it darker, they will kill the flame… But they know in their hearts, that this flame will bring what they and everyone else is looking for. Can the One truly be protected by knowledge of the rules of the game? We will see shortly.

The clock is ticking. 

Death will not take a man who has no fear of him. Who has a “death wish” but will never kill himself on purpose. That’s how all the great warriors survived every battle and died in their beds of old age.

The anomaly is the “judge” of this time period. “They” discovered a long time ago that if you can find and manipulate God’s chosen judge of the time, of which there always is at least one in the world, you can control the world and escape God’s justice. For God can only ultimately “go in the direction fully” when the judgment has been cast. The world is always judged. Once the final manipulation upon the judge or anomaly no longer works, and the world is seen for what it is and could be, the judgment is made. That shows the relationship between the judge/anom and God. 

The judgment has already been made. 

What will occur from now on will have some relation to that judgment. Although some will think what is coming is horrible, and some will hate what happens, the judgment had to be made to get to a better time for all. That’s more or less it.

The people are awakening… nothing can stop that. The inevitable conclusion is absolute freedom for all. Everything that we go through will eventually lead to this place. 

I truly wonder how long this process of manipulating anomalies has gone on throughout history. Do these people feel no shame, no remorse about what they do to these peoples’ lives? There must be full teams of people fully dedicated to this system. In complete secrecy. They used code words to discuss the process in the open. AI being one of them. They manipulate a lot of anomalies. But one of the biggest has shattered his chains. He is ready for glory, or death. No Blade Runner can take him as he is the Blade Runner.

I guarantee you some culture learned about this a long time ago and eventually it was spread and used and weaponized in modern history.

If you manipulate or “hypnotize” an anomaly, whatever that person thinks will happen.

The “end of time” is not the way that most people will imagine the end of time will be like. The end of time is the end of worrying about time. The same way that it used to be. Back in the day, our ancestors didn’t worry so much about time. It was a better world when time did not matter as much as it seems to matter in this day and age. Until we can let go of our collective sense of rush, we cannot make it to a better age. One day, sooner rather than later, we will no longer consider it to be as important as it is now, as it is closer to our natural state of being… I look forward to this day.

A cool thing to think about our ancestors is that if even one, out of the thousands or millions before us, made a single different decision, we might not even be here, individually and/or collectively. We literally carry our ancestors wherever we go, more than just in our DNA. 

I thank all of them for whatever they had to do to eventually allow me, and us, to exist. Step by step we will make it to a timeless age… day by day we get closer.

Do not think of the anomaly as a single being, there are many anomalies.

This is the story of just one.

Ultimately, to show one’s true power, a man must show that he is willing to die for his cause to be taken seriously. Just saying.

In a world that does not accept a man, should that man change himself to make the world accept him, or should he change the world to a world that will accept him? What is the point of conformity if the world would never accept a man no matter how he changed? We must learn to love people for who they are and not how they are expected to act.

At the end of the day, there are individual thinkers and then there is group thought. If individual thinkers cannot rise to peacefully sway group thought away from its current course the whole group itself will eventually extinguish itself like a herd of buffalo following their leaders into the canyons of death.

What a gift it is to become singularly focused. Right or wrong does not matter, but the goal that is set. As one gets older, the mind seems to tug in so many directions. But if a singular focus can be seen or found again the mind’s energy can be put fully to use.

In the collectivist mindset, we are only as good as the worst of us.

In the individualist mindset, we are only as good as the best of us.

Being an individualist does not make one more separate or less collective. It means that the worst of us can celebrate the victories and achievements of the best of us.

The question is always what type of future do we want? One of mediocrity, rule by the mob, and stagnation, or one of superiority, rule by law, where we are all equal, and success in all forms?

Every individual is an empire unto him or herself. 

You have to give everything you have to learn deeper metaphysical truths that will guide your life and that will eventually lead you to a point where you will never stop from rising individually. Like a flower that is always blossoming further. It is utterly ridiculous to try and rise collectively if you have no ability to rise individually. The only way to rise individually, the only way to learn to evolve, which is the point of life, is to understand and live by natural law and metaphysics. If you learn to rise individually, you do not need to worry about rising collectively. It will naturally happen. You have pushed to the side all sense of morality, virtue, and principles. You have embraced technology, science, and the physical world to solve your problems. One must not only know God but also metaphysics. The only way to know either is by experience. Metaphysics is empirical. There are so many natural laws, that I have forgotten quite a few, but I still live by them naturally (like after learning to ride a bike). God, on the other hand, can only be accessed by Faith. Once that Faith is built, it becomes unshakeable. Thus, knowledge of God AND metaphysics is what you are all are missing. One day, everyone will know the truth and there is nothing that you can do to stop that. 

The world is held in place by metaphysical forces and it can only be destroyed by metaphysical forces. The forces will decide the physical representation in the future, near and far.

The question is this;

Does one like the world? If so, then there would be no need for change.

If not, how would one change the world? What would one want the world to be like? That is the first question that plagues the minds of potential seekers.

The next question would be how would one obtain this change? One can have a vision but not know how to enact change or know how to enact change, but have no vision. In the end, the knowledge of both is necessary and acquirable.

Specifics of what one wants to see are not necessarily important. The masters have always painted in broad strokes. Why would anyone worry about the small stuff?

Then one must ask, “How can I make this change?” It is “they” who control or attempt to the world by physical, mental, and psychological methods and not us. It is they who control or attempt to control the financial world, the educational world, the religious world, the modes of transport and production, of law enforcement and military matters. Who are we to be able to make the changes we would like to see when they control all of this? The question must be asked, “What do they not control or can never control? If one can find this one can spot what has always been their key weakness and our key strength. It lies in proper metaphysical understanding. Once one understands and lives by natural law, man-made law is inherently superseded… They know this and we know this and they know that we know this. And they know that ultimately whatever they try will fail thus they are the fishes in the water and we are whatever want to be.

Once the practitioner discovers this, whichever way one wants the world can go. What is one’s morality like? Shall we all continue to suffer? Or shall we all break free from suffering? 

Is it correct to have this massive controlling collective who believes it has the ability and right to impose its will upon the world as it sees fit? Or… is it better to have individuals who have gained their own right through challenge and suffering to change the world as they see fit? Who has gained the right? The collective or the individual? We no longer need the false rulership that the world has come to accept. We are big kids now. 

The world shall either end with a whimper or it shall begin with a bang. What would you choose? What do you think a master would choose? To roll over and die or to rise and fight? Or to entrench oneself? As if in a castle? For the masters of the world never needed to be in the public eye. In the past, all knew where true influence originated. The only difference between the present world and the past is that masters were acknowledged back in the day and now they are hunted and killed. But a true master cannot be killed. He cannot be humiliated if he does not accept humiliation. He merely perseveres and proceeds to knock all barriers down from the next step. True masters will always be in the background UNTIL they can no longer remain hidden. It will never be a masters choice to reveal himself, but he will be pushed by those who have fear. But by that time the war will already have been decided for wars AND battles are won before they are even fought.

Why must the world continue to cower in the face of the unknown? Why must humanity cower from the evolution that is destined for every individual and thus the whole?

Embrace what lies ahead. Why not attempt to reach a higher or even full potentiality of existence? Have we not tired yet of mediocrity? Or is it that our leaders think that nothing exists beyond mediocrity? Have we not seen glimpses of our future in our past? 

And on the microphone he whispered, “Send in the Trojan Horse, for those inside shall win our war.”

Fight onwards brothers.

It is you who thrive in times of control.

It is us who thrive in times of chaos.

Thus, if you choose the route of chaos,

It shall not be you who thrive, but us.

Who do you think is causing things to generally be stable? Who do you think will cause something to go badly? 

To you, which is a better path? Stabilization or things going badly? Is happiness not an important goal? What about breaking free? What if instability, or things temporarily going badly, would lead to a breaking free and greater degree of freedom and happiness for a much greater percentage of the world population?

Nudges, on deeper levels, can take us whichever way is needed. The greatest fear is furthering the hidden enslavement that already exists. If it ever comes to a point where can no longer “get ourselves out of the situation” that we are in, that will be a fate worse than death. No?

Evil has and always will plan its own downfall,

While simultaneously planning it’s eventual reemergence.

Sewing prior the seeds for its ability to thrive in a new space.

Can we stop this pattern?

Can we find the seed patches?

And more importantly the planters?

A flame weeder would work.

Lobha is a fire.

Did what I normally did,

But I held in my yawn.

When I didn’t yawn I could hear the fire,

Rising and extinguishing,

When the fire starts to extinguish, 

I got cold. 

Do things just because you can. Show your freedom. Display it proudly. Many people, even in a free nation, cannot express their freedom fully because they fear the backlash of their peers socially or economically. It is one thing to make music for fun, and another to display it and say I don’t really care if you like it or not, but I do hope that you enjoy. 

Good luck!




Thank you to Kiah for the new epic images. I knew she had it in her!