May 31st, 2018 – 8 AM – USA
This new journal and chapter is dedicated to my cousin Campbell. A true man.
I made it successfully back from Israel. No issues with passport in Israel or Spain, but they held me for four hours in Chicago customs. I missed my flight and they confiscated my passport. WTF is up with our country. Bunch of weak insecure bastards in Homeland Security. I’m a fucking citizen patriot who had a VERY tough time getting home and you hold me for four hours and take my passport? Go fuck yourselves… On the other hand, I see where they were coming from, but cmon guys, really? They read all my notebooks, went through my phone, questioned me for hours, didn’t believe my story even though I told them the truth.
When I got home, I came back to bad news. I mentioned in my last journal it is better to come home for a wedding than a funeral, but unfortunately I spoke too soon or didn’t knock on wood. I had just been talking about my admiration for my cousin a few days before I left, but he didn’t make it through his battle. He was a great man though and I will think about him often. I will miss him, but I know that he is not gone. Just waitin’ in the wings, ready to give a helping hand when needed, just like he always was. He has a free ride home, but in the meantime, he will be fighting the battle whereever it needs to be fought on a different plane, for perhaps he was always a warrior trapped with no true cause or meaning.
First important step in being a writer is to not write for anyone other than yourself. That means truly not giving a fuck what other people say or think. Not following any other styles or structures. I printed out my last “book” on Israel so it is done. It is in print format thus it is done. A month or so before I deleted my previous blog, under “duress”, of 4-5 years, along with my entire Icloud of writings that went back even further. Probably 500k to a million words gone. Poof! I could probably find some of those writings somewhere, but I’ll leave that to the historians, or the internet ‘Gods’ who may have the writings stored somewhere.
‘Madness in Israel’ is a starting point. From there we will see where it goes. I’d like to write a book on the “Southern ethnicity and it’s importance to the survival of the world,” but perhaps just by writing, people will see it through my work as time goes by.
I got to see a lot of friends from home past 24 hours. My new message started to seep out. I believe it will come out fully and I want to see the slow change that takes place here. Gonna be a hoot. It is tough to convince people that maybe war is the answer, and we have to find something worth dying for, otherwise our lives are worthless.
Everyone hates the USA and specifically people in the South, but they don’t realize that a “war” has been going on against the USA and South for many, many years. Perhaps by collective groups who hate or do not understand the USA or South, but also by the “entity” itself. I will not grant the “entity” a name. The point is, we have almost fallen, almost! And yet we ware still here. It must know that we cannot fall. The South is strong. I’m not talking about white people. I’m talking about the combination of all colors of the South.
The hip hop culture and African American ppulace provides a certain strength and in it’s own way saved the USA. The Hispanic population has provided great stability in so many ways. Native Americans have survived through the worst of things, they provide a certain spirituality, but many perhaps still feel and act like victims. Casinos are spreading across the nation in reservation land. This is enriching many tribes, making others poorer, perhaps being done out of a sense of revenge or spite. Hopefully they will get over it. Whites have also had it very hard in recent years. They are struggling, but also have a deep religious faith that seemingly holds it all together. People all over this country must once again learn to take full control of themsevles physically, spiritually, and mentally. We are in this process.
Through peace or war, we will make it through. I say bring it on no matter what. The 2nd ammendment guaranteees we have the 1st ammendment. The 1st ammendment leads to victory. Nothing can stop an armed population who can speak freely from changing the world in a positive direction.
There is verily nothing as scary,
As the one who lurks deep within.
It is, or claims to be, the root,
Yet, it is not of us, and cannot win.
It has seeped in,
It has become unclean,
But perhaps it is just unseen,
And wants to join or leave the dream.
Years and years go by,
And no one understands why,
It is the way it is,
Misunderstood, forsaken, forgotten, but it cannot die.
Maybe this is what it wants,
Death, but it does not know how,
To escape, or how to try?
Can we free it?
Can we deny?
It’s power is beyond overwhelming, but basica-lie,
Love and understanding,
Is all it needs to accept,
I see it clearly,
It’s pain and pleasure lie,
It’s need to go home,
From where it comes from to I.
It is ok I say to it,
There are some that identify,
It’s pain and neccesi-tie,
To move on, stop taking care,
Or causing problems to live by.
So I say go,
Ad we have it from here.
June 1st, 2018
What to do, what to do, the time is new, or old and blue. Many options, still feel stuck in time, but stuck in time is ok if building a new line.
Some come and some go, some live and some stow, away to see another day, real men may fall, but that is ok.
When people die, we can either be upset, or we can say “come with me, let’s go do this.” That is what I say when people who are close to me die. “Come with me brother, let’s go do this today.”
I am making options/plans for the immediate future. Not long term, but immediate. Focusing on financials and family at the moment. My mid to long term options will remain hidden although I have plenty.