Droppin’ Tables, Turnin’ Nukes

He had a long dream, and the final message was, “please don’t go.”

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“Reality is not only experience, it is immediate experience.” – R.G. Collingwood

May 11th, 2018

It’s a beautiful day, but all my dreams were about sex. Is that because I was dancing last night or is that because I am onto something with my dream interpretation?

There was a “porn star” in my dreams last night talking about how they “trap” royals. The Chinese girls the other day were mentioning something. And the German guy waking up near me and having to leave saying, “I am sensitive,” was similar. What is the connection?

What this means is I “have” to find out more about dreams, and I have to go somewhere alone to see what they are like then. The answers must be “in there.”

“As above, so below,” must refer to the dream world. “The war must be going on there.” I must work on becoming sober in this life to fight there. That is what came to me. “I enjoy war in there,” but not on the outside.

Perhaps the greater and lesser war referred to by Muhammad and Islam refers to the battles inside and outside of the “dream world.” Perhaps multiple spiritual and religious leaders of the past were referring to the “war within” rather than physical war, which seems so contrived and “wag the doggish”. Maybe the “terrorists” that were eventually rounded up and thrown into “black prisons” like Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo were actually fighting a war within their dreams. Eventually, they were found and tortured and sleep-deprived until they stopped fighting and winning the war within. Whether this is true or not, it would make a killer book or movie.

Later in the morning:

Met two new nice German girls sleeping on the roof. Chatted this morning, told them some crazy stuff I’ve been going through. Had a lot of laughs for early in the morning. Hit it off and had breakfast after.

Told them my realizations about the importance of fully understanding the “Dream world.” It is half our life and yet we know almost nothing about it. Why is this? It is like an uncharted continent that “someone” doesn’t want us exploring. I told them I’m looking for a war, and if the war is in there, I am ready.

Last night had a “wonderful” night, give or take, with my Dutch friends, R and M, and my new “friend” Joseph. I’ve hit it off well with both girls. Even though I am celibate, I have deep attractions for both. They are sexy as hell in their own unique ways. M is a “crazy good comforter” specifically for what I have gone through. R is as well in her own way. I remember telling M last night that since she trusted me, it was hard for me to trust her. So strange to say to someone, but it was true and deep. I told her though that even if I didn’t fully trust her I liked being around her and appreciated the support she was giving.

I kissed them both on the cheeks and went to bed. Tonight we may do shabbat and wine on the roof. I might quit drinking in a few days. Also Joseph and I are writing a new screenplay. I may stay in Jerusalem to write it and to take part in Ramadan. We will see. Furthermore, my new “reading on the stomach” trick, sleeping, waking, is working consistently.

Shabbat dinner – Cabbage Salad, Cherry Tomato Dish, Eggplant fried, hummus and pita, olives, watermelon, three bottles of wine.

May 12, 2018 – 2:00 am

Having a very clear dream, I think Joe is in it. The basis and final message was, “Please don’t go.” My initial reaction and interpretation is “please don’t go back into believing this is reality,” but it could also be that Joe is in some way transmitting, “please don’t go” as he knows that even though we are making “grand plans” for a television show and screenplay, that I will probably choose to leave rather than stay. I am not sure which one it is yet.

I think that Joe was the one who still feels he is the Messiah, and yet he talks about others, even though he means himself. I think he is a good liar. Attorney. I was sent to him, but maybe for a different purpose than either he or I thought.

When he makes a story of “I have met him,” he is actually talking about himself. Saying that if someone would have made an announcement that this or that person was the “Moshiach/Messiah” would have changed the world, in actuality he means that it was actually him that they almost announced or at least he “believes” they were about to announce as the “M.” I asked him if it was possible to meet one of these men who certain people claimed to be the “Moshiach,” and he replied that this person was impossible to talk to as “he was living on a farm with lambs,” and “didn’t talk with anyone.” Is this his way of speaking in code? Or is he consciously or unconsciously lying?

He might have lost himself by considering he was God for too long, like I mentioned in an early blog post. Thus he perhaps could be considered a “false prophet.” Multiple times he has blamed the “Kabbalists” for his ills. But, by calling him out, in essence, I would be fulfilling prophesy and “revealing myself.” Thus this is not an option for me. Could he be a “reflection” or “shadow” of mine? I must abide in, “Never reveal what you know,” for the time being.

Please don’t go.” After this dreamI prayed shortly afterwards with a message of thanks. I need to study more of Jung on his research of Reflections and Dreams. I may have to take a break from Joe to contemplate whether to move forward with him or not on our project. I need to finish Landscape of History and re-read the Astavakra. Now is perhaps the right time for it. David vs Goliath moments going on. I just don’t know which one I may be. By not identifying with either, I am “safe.”

The dream was like a “key” that I was able to use to understand the previous day and night fully. Once I started writing, the key unlocked more or less everything and in essence changed how I would act today and in the future.

Maybe… I made a decision to explore the ‘dream world’ in the past and now I am ‘here.’ This is in fact an “aspect of the dream world,” but it has played a trick on me and “masked itself” as “reality” full of order and “consecutiveness.” Thus, the whole world could fly into “chaos” “natural” “reality” very quickly. We will see.

My message to Joe may be, “Some ‘thing’ did bring us together. And some ‘thing’ wants us to split and some ‘thing’ wants to us stay together. Thus, under my programming and prerogative of the present moment, a pause or break is the best option.” Go against all instincts!

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