May 15th, 2018 – Jerusalem, Old City

More or less, I am not a philosopher, I am a theorist. “I have a theory…”

Last night I talked to Joe about an “idea”. It seemed if people were actually trying to “mess up” the world to such an extent that God would come down to the world so they could “capture” him here. What if this has already happened? Perhaps it was done a long time ago, and they trapped him somewhere in this world so he could no longer “intervene” like he once did. This idea came to me when I was exploring the tunnels underneath and next to the Western Wall. Perhaps if they did capture God they used this “complex” as a prison and eventually as a tomb. Crazy? This was the message I was receiving when I was there.

Seems to me perhaps “God” was here, “aliens” or the “entity” came and found him and put him in this “tomb/prison” and perhaps left someone in charge of keeping him here. Perhaps the Crusaders knew this, they came to “break him out”, whether it was Jesus or another, but when they came he was no longer living? They mentioned on our tour that the tunnels leading into the Temple mount platform had been dug out by the Crusaders and replaced again after they left. Do the Jews and Muslims have a secret agreement not to excavate there further or have they already fully excavated there, but are keeping it a secret?

“A man with nothing to lose is a dangerous man indeed.”

I heard a theory that some believe that Petra was actually the original Mecca in the Koran. That the first mosques all pointed towards Petra. That is deep. Makes plenty of sense to me. That would make Amman the original Medina. I need to research this more. Why would they lie about it? Very interesting. Research more on Charles Warren and Josephus Flavius.

May 16th, 2018 8:00 am

Wow. Amazing dreams. I woke up at 3:45 and had breakfast with Kaiser and Laura, my new friend from Pittsburgh who had to return to the US today. She was a sweetie. Went back to sleep at 4:30 and didn’t see Kaiser afterwards.

My dreams were pretty wild, although I don’t remember all of them. I’ll start from end. I’m pretty sure I woke up talking in my sleep, “Please get me out of this place.” Strange it was right after I was thinking that God or Jesus was buried under the Temple Mount. What does it mean when I talk in my sleep and why are these seemingly important messages I’m receiving always end my dreams and start with “please”?

I know that some aspects of early dreams were sexual and I remember being with a younger skinny African-American woman. As I needed to pee in the night and didn’t go, once again my dreams became less sexual and more vivid and meaningful. What is super meaningful is that I had a lot of similar stuff that I have now in my possession like my backpack, books, and certain DVDs. The streets were also similar to Jerusalem, I remember walking and always coming back to my things, and somethings were stolen or completely different. And messages were scrawled on the backs and CD cases. For example, on the DVD case, DS was missing, but the word “Afraid” was scratched on the surface. Later, the scratched in part was filled with white tape or paper. At the moment these are the most “important” things I remember.

Ramadan has officially started. Going to take it easy today and read. To do: translate “Co-exist or don’t exist” into Arabic and Hebrew for scarf for Citadel post. Bike around Jerusalem mountains. Watch Shia Lebouf and Sia video with Ana. Research Greek Kurios. Read a lot.

1:30 PM

Buy small olive oil, dates, potatoes, extra bread. Make tonight tomato-potato gumbo soup with rice and bread.

Been very hungry all day, but that’s about it. Reading a very simple fiction book, knitting the scarf, going to some churches to read.

May 17th, 2018 – 1:00 AM

Woke up after lots of dreams, but hard to remember. Had to pee badly and thought if I held it I would pee my pants. Point is I have to find a place where it is ok if I do pee pants, in order to get further into dream world. Carry the water. It is an unnatural feeling to not pee in the night if we have to.

Write blog posts on “Do Nukes actually exists and what would that mean to world if they didn’t?” and “Is God locked in the Temple Mount?”

7:00 AM

Wild dreams. Try to work though them. I was in a big zombie world. First time I saw people act human and “turn in front of my eyes.” They didn’t change much except they were running very fast. Before this I saw a huge pit with a fence around it. It looked like some sort of “Coney Island area” except not near water, and dark all around. Nighttime. There were all sorts of birds and bats. Millions. Small and big. I somehow peaked over the fence somehow without really moving, and I saw tons of bodies and blood, but they were more like white mannequins that you see in storefronts. I never saw the center of the pit so I can’t tell if it was a hole or just a deeply dug “grave.”

As soon as I started looking, people started to “turn” and came running after me. This is first time I was scared and I was running, looking behind me, and I couldn’t outrun them, but they also couldn’t catch me. I finally found a long building maybe 50 meters across and it was dark behind, like a chain linked fence with dark covers or something. There were people there who helped me get up and surrounded the building. I think I was up top alone but cannot be sure. I also think I saw lots of Muslim women there. Somehow the men or “zombies” stopped or could not go further.

Then I was in a new place. Like a movie cut or dream cut. I remember there was a war. I feel I was on one side and I had a gun, but can’t remember what type. I was behind a pillar or defensive area. Our area was overrun but the soldiers didn’t hurt me. Somehow they gave me a new gun and it was like an old WW1 single shot, but the gun shot “metal capsules” full of some sort of water. I shot one time at a light in the roof above us, there were many lights. I just did it to test the weapon and not to extinguish the light and the light was not extinguished.

Cut to: Lots of dreams here but I forgot. Last thing I think I remember is someone talking about “taking 30 Jewish families” and I seem to remember it saying either “defiling them”, but also could have been “converting them…” That is pretty much last I remember.

9:00 AM

Lots more dreams. Last thing I remember is my brother and I were at a restaurant with lots of women and he is talking to the waitress and he is like, “Who likes new money?!”, and pulls out a big wad of cash.

I remember last night after breaking the fast being upset with Einstein. I think he was somehow the reason “this” has all occurred. I think that he “wanted world peace” and thus they created “the greatest illusion” that nuclear weapons existed. But actually they do not and never did. This “great deception” was what Hitler knew when he said,

“If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.”

Perhaps, in some ways this “lie” has helped in the world, but if truly looked at objectively and from a further perspective, it has hurt the world in much much deeper ways. I would say a supra-majority of the world’s fear comes from nuclear annihilation or holocaust, something that doesn’t even exist.

Essentially, there must always be some outlets for warriors or members of the Kshatriya caste of the world to fight. Members of the other castes conspired after WW1 or before to figure out a way to stop war and they came up with the nuclear bomb to scare men from fighting. Furthermore, they pushed physical sport as much as possible so members of this caste would in some way “feel fulfilled”, when only true confrontation and war can do this. This is one of the greatest travesties that the other castes have ever committed against the Kshatriya caste. This is in fact the root of all problems. Now, if this extended “fake peace” had not occurred, we would not have the huge stockpiles and extremely advanced weapons that currently exist (Or perhaps, following the great lie that is nuclear weapons, all major powers lie about what weapons they have. I would not doubt this either. Putin and Russia’s announcements lately would be total LOL-worthy and Kim Jung Un getting in on the “great lie” is also classic.)

The only outcome is a major conventional war where someone eventually wins and rebuilds order from this point. It will be crazy, but the strong, the intelligent, the just, and perhaps divinely-inspired will win. Who will this be? No matter who wins, removing the lie of nuclear weapons will be worth however many die for generations or eternity to come.

After this thought came, I had a nice dinner of vegetarian gumbo with Logan, the brother of Laura, and we discussed these issues. I think all “relative truth” should be told. The greatest sin to me is lying, for any reason. Thus if this is a lie it should be exposed. I also thought this morning that the dream world is Heaven and we go there after death and stay until we are born again. More or less somehow we are given the chance to come back or the chance to retire forever or for an extended period of time. The world is not in a place I would be comfortable leaving it for an extended period of time. If the dream world is actually Heaven or Hell, it is a scary and chaotic place. Being stuck there, not able to remember “normal life,” and not waking up would be “Hell”. Can it be cleansed? Are the people there “real”? Can they be helped?

Tonight: Buy pasta, peanut butter, eggs, garlic, cilantro. Make: Make a new soup with leftover gumbo, add in pasta. Baked potatoes, peanut butter sandwichs and celery. Tomorrow breakfast: Hard-boiled eggs, dates, oranges, bread.

Dearest Lord,

Thank you for your continual guidance, support in all of its ways, love, and strength. Thank you for continually showing me “a way” without saying surely it is “the way”. I believe I am slowly understanding the reality of the world a bit more each day. Perhaps what has happened to it. Perhaps something to do. I know I can be completely wrong, and maybe I should do nothing, but I do feel your pull as well. If I do stray, if I do go down the wrong route, I ask forgiveness ahead of time. I cannot help the messages or theories that come my way. I am getting better though at not considering anything definite, or certain, or that are easily suggestible. For I believe “idea implantation” exists in whatever form, whether spiritually or religious (perhaps through demons), digitally or technology wise (as in directly), or verbally (through the written or spoken word). Thus I believe these are the roots of my issues. Thank you for helping me through this time and keeping me going. In your name I pray, Amen

8:30 PM

New theory: I need to track all suggestions back further. Although I see potential, I would never convert. What if I have been suggested to come to Israel specifically because some”thing” is trying to get me to convert to Islam/Judaism (which I consider to be completely allied) to bring it back and spread it in the USA? Wouldn’t that be a hoot! Trace the suggestions! I am OK with a reforming Islam. I am not OK with an intolerant Islam that is psychotic and any entity that supports absolute extremism. Maybe through this “purification” of Ramadan I am seeing a bit more clearly?

May 18th, 2018 – 5-6 AM

I dreamt I was playing Monopoly with my brother. Said in dream and maybe out loud: “I was waiting for you to pay me, but you never paid me.”

8:00 AM

I sort of developed what I might consider to be a “grand theory” last night. I will outline the main elements below.

God doesn’t interfere on a ‘grand scale’, if He did what would be the point? Thus it is up to individual humans to interfere, usually on ‘behalf of God’, rather than God directly. If God does have to interfere directly, we have failed as individuals.

A “great lie” was told with the “invention” of the nuclear weapon in the early 1940s. This was to spread fear of nuclear annihilation or mutual self-destruction across the world to stop or prevent war. I would say this was done by an alliance of the merchant and religious castes against the warrior caste. Scientists can perhaps be seen as a mixture of the two, not understanding the needs or reasons for war. The raging alcoholic Robert Oppenheimer, after lying about the invention of the nuclear weapon, said:

“Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds” and “We knew the world would not be the same,” he later recalled. “A few people laughed, a few people cried, most people were silent.”

The true meaning of this quote is that he knew that he was going to literally “destroy the world” by building this lie and destroying the natural balance of life that war provided.

The varna/caste system is a metaphysical truth or system where war and conflict is a natural and necessary part of the world. That by removing it, or preventing natural empire-building or empire-destruction, which has occurred since the beginning of time, and guarantees stability, with the strong leading the weak, rather than our current system of the weak leading the strong, they upset the entire balance of the world. The first decades or centuries of “new empires” is often enough for a necessary world-restructuring to occur.

More or less, we have been lied to, people who are born to fight or confront are not allowed to because the “common enemy” has entrenched itself, it is everywhere, and “hiding in plain sight”. Our warriors, who would have naturally become leaders through war, have been “brainwashed” by the media, video-games, drugs, sports, crime, prison, etc.

This long term “fake peace” by the “greatest lie” has directly led to the enormous wealth discrepancy between the rich and the poor, as war always naturally redistributes the wealth. What good is a country’s money if they lose the war? Thus if the rich don’t fight or share all that they have, their money will be taken by the masses. The markets are all shams caused by the “fake peace”. Value means nothing these days. The long term “fake peace” has indirectly led to every single problem affecting the USA and world. What is sad is because of this “great lie”, which had led to huge military increases in technology and a huge armaments build up, which in actuality would not have occurred in a “natural system” where the “great lie” was not told, the only way out of this situation is a truly massive world-wide total conventional war. Since nukes don’t exist, the battlefield will be leveled tremendously, as it always should have been.

So many people will die, but this MUST happen for us to come back to balance and to get back on track. It is the only way. Since people do not have anything worth dying for, they have nothing to live for. Lastly, this war will redraw the boundaries and alliances of the entire world. It will not be country versus country, but small to medium sized groups of people surviving against others.

In this process, the malevolent “entity” and the wicked shall not last. Those who are righteous, God-fearing, and “worthy” will survive and build anew; as has always been done. I am not upset with this if this is the way it must be. And if this is the way it must always be in this reality, whatever it is called: Earth, Heaven, or Hell.

“For on the day of the harvest the weeds will be conspicuous, and will be pulled up and burned.”