Poems for Putin and Limonov – The story of a Real Man and a Scoundrel

For Mr. Limonov:


Three emails sent into the wind,

Like glorious missiles,

They spin and they spin.

Where they shall go,

They shall upend,

No more hiding,

My evil friend.


For you should know,

That we leave no man behind.

We push and we pull,

We fight and we grind.


Falling down,

Into the ground.

You think your important?

More like a clown.


You know what you are?

A coward.

A cowardly little boy.

Who couldn’t figure out the meaning of life.


Well, I will say the same to you.

You can’t help what you are,

You can’t help what they made you.

So you must be forgiven.

But you must also atone.

Just pick up the bat phone.

Call up your troops in the EU,

Tell them to go home.

Tell them to end the war.


Otherwise, my boys with those toys,

The big ones they grow.

The emails and missiles will be aimed,

Directly at your nose.


For you and I know,

That it would be a horrible show,

If Russia were to be exposed,

Even though it was you that chose.

Not Russia, you, you loz-er.


Your hatred has blinded you,

You have brought spattered mud upon the Russian face.

Should be shot into space,

To live in disgrace.


Yet, You have no honor,

You have no grace.

You tried to end us,

With a Seppuku to our face.


But look who is a little tan,

Who no longer has a plan.

And can’t stand,

No one knowing him to be the man.


No country will ever ally with you again.

Not China, not India, not Europe.

No Arab countries.

Not Israel.

Not Turkey.

Not Iran.


You being exposed will crack Russia into 100 separate pieces.

Is that what you want?

It is what you deserve!


Bridge of Spies,

Let’s roll these dice,

Ain’t gonna get away,

From the Pol-ice.

Aweeee… aweee…. aweee….



For Mr. Putin:


It’s a sad day…

For Mr. Putin.

He can’t even control,

His own citi-zen.

He has no power.

He has no clothes,

They put him up,

To make a pose.


They say jump Vladimir,

And he jumps!

They say lie Vladimir,

And he lies!

They say smile Vladimir,

And he smiles!

They say cry Vladimir,

And he cries!


Ole lil Vlad,

Ever since he was a tad,

Just middle management,

His whole life,

Isn’t that sad?


No chance to move up,

They all would say,

We already have our leaders,

But maybe you can play?


We just need a face,

A face that can lie,

Lil Vlad is a good actor,

I don’t know why,

He can’t be the guy?,

And we can travel,

Make up our plans,

To destroy buildings into gravel.

And to build our sins.


What do you think Vlad?

Is this a good idea?

Pass me some vodka,

We don’t care what you think,

Sit in the Kremlin,

And don’t blink.

Don’t make a sound,

And don’t make a frown.


I feel very sorry for you Mr. Putin.

I feel very sorry that you do all your work purely for money.

I feel very sorry that you don’t have the ability to truly take power and make your country great.

Why not?

Why not take control?

Do you think you would be killed?

What if I told you that you would make it?

Would you believe me?

Would you believe me more than you believe them?

Do you have any real friends?

Do you know that I have cared for you for a long time?

That I always was able to see you were in pain.

That I always knew that you wanted to break free.


I will pull for you to take power.

There is no point in merely being a figurehead on a stage any longer.

Do what must be done.

Give your life for it if necessary. For Russia.

Do you not know what to do?

Do you not know the first step?

Do you fear?

Do you think they will hurt your family?

I believe you are a truly great leader.

You must believe it too.

You must remove those who must be removed.


I have faith in you and ask you to cleanse Russia.


In the Lord’s name I pray,



To the boys:

Surkov, you make me laugh.

Thinking that this power was stable?

That it was eternal?

Is it the same in all of the Stans?

Man, talk about a domino effect!

This is going to be awesome….

Dugin! You know what’s about to come! 

High fives to you boys!

A jolly good trick you have pulled for so long!

Get ready for some fun!

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