Trapped Like a Rat with an Anchor in the Sky

For the first post, I will copy my notebook diary from past 7 days verbatim.

rat

I would like to start off with the fact that I do not know who I am, I do not know what I want to do, I do not know whom to trust, I do not know what the true date is, or what my true location is. With that said, please do not enjoy.

“Go big or go home.”

“Make it hard to spot the general by working like a soldier.” Buy a compass. “All children but one grow up,” Barrie said. “For growing up is the beginning of the end.” “Maybe the end of the beginning.” Neverland is, “second to the right, straight until morning.” This book suggests Neverland is a small island, reachable by flight. Also my belief.

Time heals all wounds.

May 1st,  ’18 – Someone’s Birthday

I celebrate by looking to challenge someone to a fight. Who have I become?

“More or less if one sees oneself as God for too long, one can lose touch with reality or one’s true self. It almost happened to me one time, or maybe it did happen. My mother saved me though and I didn’t go fully that way, or maybe I did… My point is that everyday I have to realize “I am not God” to find my true self and to have “God” release him or herself from controlling me.”

Research – Africans’ thoughts on losing oneself or one’s shadow or one’s soul.

Was I in Kurdistan? Could Haifa be Istanbul?

When I spoke to Tom, “Was I speaking about what I had been through or about to go through?” Should I just stop my search now? Huge.

“They shall (not) make a temple for me and I shall (not) dwell among them.”  My constant goal is to break prophecy if it seems that I am falling into it.

The basis of a torah life is “inaction.”

Homemade compass – (Magnet, piece of cork, needle, water, non-magnetic bowl) 1. Rub magnet on needle. 2. Pour water in bowl. 3. Put needle in cork. 4. Let it spin to point. 5. Test with real compass.

Is Ibn Gabriol square “Jerusalem”? What is underground?

Just continue to explore “Tel Aviv” fully. Should answer all questions. Look for Maccabi.

Research Neverland – Never Neverland – “Netherlands.”

Remember I never came to Israel until after the “accident.” A could be fake here. IDK.

“Lost Boys eventually grew up and have to leave. Fairies typically have short life spans.”

Holy smokes look at islands in S.A. map! Artificial!

I’m not Peter Pan, I’m Captain Hook, or neither. Lost Boys use hybrid wind surfer/skateboard tracks. Mermaids use a giant clam shell pulley. Like inner earth. Home underground, underneath the new home of Lost Boys. Sarona?

Maybe I am a fairy.

Observe and consciously choose gam…

Groundhog Day movie – trapped for 8 years, 8 months, and 16 days. 6 more weeks of winter. 42 days.

Don’t look for Sid. Is he my shadow? Maybe already went through 42 days? Is Nom my shadow?

Look under Ibn Gabriol. King George St. – Jaffa Rd. intersection. Research squatting rules.

Everyone can see my future is what is fucked up. Sid and Yan = Jerusalem excavations and getting sun and “dat ass.” WTF. Or maybe it is the other way around?

Should I use super glue on cut?

I need to find and make a home base near water and trees and close to campus.

How can I stop people from seeing my future? Can everyone? Bike? WTF. Playhouse? So weird.

Maybe they can only see “one day ahead?” Find a place to stay, then do 10 day gastro cleanse.

Tomorrow is another special birthday.

Call and practice more of conscious eating and chewing gum.

Good day all around.

Tomorrow explore new housing options.

Woke up at 3:45 am, what is significance of 3:58? Got lots of texts then. Watched sunset (moonset at 5:35. It pretty much was full and just “vanished” behind some clouds.) And now back.

May 2nd, 2018

Just had a dream where I was in the staircase of my home in the USA on my street. Somehow I scraped the wallpaper off and I “recognized” that it was my “true home” and was different. I looked up and then awoke.

Going to shave again today. Today has been different all around. More real. My face looks different. Maybe has something to do with sleep schedule?

There is a realness or lucidity to my sight and feeling within.

What is behind the closed door in our room?

Later:

Found 500 shekels ($175) floating in the wind on a street today. Thought of taking it. Turned it into a local police station nearby. If no one claims in 6 months, they will send it to me. Too much money to keep. I offered to give it to the police station if no one took.

Tomorrow check out book that professor had us read. On cartography.

I feel there is something that “I do” even if I am not aware of it. Somehow I feel I “cleanse.”

I do believe the world can be seen “front” and “back”. And maybe some can see very far or very short. But there must be a “victor” of prophecy.

I see Israel and the Middle East as a “hidden realm.” It is not as it seems. Maybe North America is like a “corrupted heaven,” invaded by people from Hell. Or it could be visa versa.

I’ve never seen anything bad happen here.

Either this is “Heaven” or “Hell.”

Continued next post…

blind

 

 

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